Why Do Girls Cheat?

The overall perception is that guys tend to cheat more than girls and that’s what the stats have shown…until recently. Now, there’s evidence that shows women are cheating more than they used to, and almost as much as men.

Many of the reasons people cheat, whether male or female, are the same – revenge, boredom, thrill, low self-esteem, unhappiness, not feeling committed, variety, sex addiction, etc. But experts seem to agree that guys and girls are motivated to cheat for different reasons. Guys tend to be motivated by sex and getting attention while girls tend to want to fill an emotional void. Of course, there are always exceptions and outliers to the norm.

There are some more common reasons guys cheat and the same for girls.

Here are some of the more common reasons girl's cheat:

Because they’re lonely.

Loneliness is considered a global problem. So many people are lonely and don’t know how or can’t find people to form those much-needed community bonds. A woman who cheats could feel very lonely on a daily basis even within a marriage or committed relationship and if someone comes along who fills that loneliness, it can lead to an affair.

Because they develop an emotional connection.

Women tend to feel valued and connected more through emotional connections than sexual activity. An emotional connection most often starts with an acquaintance which leads to a friendship which can lead to an affair because of the deep emotion they feel towards that person.

Because they have unrealistic expectations in their current relationship.

Some women expect their boyfriend or husband to meet all of their needs, all of the time - 24/7. No person is capable of meeting all the needs of another person – emotional, spiritual, physical, mental. So, dissatisfied at some point, the woman starts looking to someone else for her needs, even though her expectations were unfair to begin with.

Because the new person made them feel special.

Women want to be desired. They want to feel as if they are the most beautiful girl in the world. They want to be told how wonderful they are so they can feel special. If another person makes them feel that way, it can lead to cheating.

Because they are not fully committed. 

Romantic relationships are nothing like the movies. There are really tough days when you have to work really hard to communicate and get along. Sometimes you might even think, “I don’t like this person today.”  If you are not fully committed to the person you are with and making your relationship work, there are plenty of other guys out there who look appealing to be with.

Because they want an escape from their life.

Life can get monotonous for everyone. Wake up, go to work, take care of kids, make dinner, clean up, go to bed, rinse and repeat, day after day. When you are with the same person in the relationship, doing the same things together day after day, it can get boring. There may be nothing necessarily ‘wrong’ in the relationship, but they feel trapped in an endless cycle of humdrum living. Having an affair is an escape from the drudgery of everyday life.

Because they have a deep longing in their soul, that no one person can fill.

Inside of every human is a deep longing for a connection and oneness with their creator. We can ignore that part of us. We can try to fill it with people and with other things, but ultimately that longing will never go away until it is filled. We will never feel complete until we allow Jesus Christ into our lives and accept Him as our Lord and savior.

Too often we look to our partner to make us feel whole…to complete us. A human doesn’t have the capacity to do that.  They can meet some of your needs, but not all. Until you find that deep connection with God, you may be willing to cheat to try to fill the deep need.

These are reasons for cheating, not excuses. There is never a valid excuse for cheating. Cheating breaks hearts and destroys trust, ultimately destroying relationships. If you can recognize the reasons people cheat, you may be able to prevent yourself from doing it. It’s always better to walk away from a relationship before jumping into another one mid-relationship. And there are far better ways for dealing with boredom, loneliness, and low self-worth than the temporary fix of cheating. Trust us, the cycle of being untrustworthy and having meaningless relationships will leave you ashamed and empty in the end.

Are you the cheater? Whether the relationship survives or not, move forward. To have a meaningful relationship in the future, try these 5 life-changing steps.

TheHopeLine Team
For over 30 years, TheHopeLine has been helping students and young adults in crisis. Our team is made up of writers and mental health professionals who care deeply about helping others.
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