Help! I'm A Single Mom!

Help! I'm a Single Mom!

It's hard to be a parent. But to be a single parent, is even more challenging. If you are a single parent trust me when I say, you are definitely not alone! There are nearly 14 million single parents in the US, and a vast majority of the load of raising their kids is being carried by the mothers. Many people I talk to on my radio show, Dawson McAllister Live, are single mothers simply trying to find ways to cope. Trying to find ways to bring in enough money, take care of the responsibilities of a house or apartment, and still allow their children to have the life they long for them to have. It can be overwhelming. That's why I wanted to address this important issue.

It's hard to be a parent, but a single mom is even harder!

In being a responsible single mom you are saying, my life is no longer my own. So, how does one become a successful single mom? Especially when all you feel is overwhelmed and stressed-out? Is there room for hope that things will get better? With God's help, there is always hope. Here are some thoughts to help you not only survive, but also to thrive!

Realize your life will never be quite the same again. My mama used to say, People make their choices, and their choices make them. She used to also say, When you say yes to one thing, you may be saying no to something else. For whatever reason, however it came about, if you are a single mom, you said yes to putting yourself in a situation where you could become a parent. And becoming a parent changes everything. And nothing will more radically change your day-to-day life than being a single mother.

Rhea says that she has been a single Mom for two years now. It is not an easy road. The added responsibility sucks the life out of a person because you're dealing with many issues: dealing with childcare while you're working, the many times you may have to miss work due to sickness of your kids, the instability of support you may receive, making enough money to support yourself and your kids AND find a little extra in there somewhere for a little recreation.

In being a responsible single mom you are saying, my life is no longer my own. I have to think about my child first before I think about myself. Every decision I make has to be based on how it will affect my child(ren), which includes: who to you date, what you do with your free time, your education, your extended family, your living situation, and in fact, every aspect of your life. Nothing will more radically change your day-to-day life than being a single mother. It's not easy accepting all that responsibility and change. But it's well worth it. At the end of the day, what's more important than your children?

Until you reach that place where you realize that your life will never be the same again, both you and your children will suffer. Every single mom has to answer the question: Outside of my relationship with God, are my priorities focused on my children first?

I am also going to talk about issues single mothers face in their relationships with men. For example, how should she deal with the birth father? How much should he be involved in your kid's life? When is it ok to date again, and whom do you decide to date? Please tell me your story of your relationship with men as a single mom.

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17 comments on “Help! I'm A Single Mom!”

  1. Hi there, I am a single mom of one and she is 9 yrs. old. I am very open to her about my life wether whom I am talking and dating and all. My questions is.. is it okey to be open and very honest about my personal life to her? There are times that she interfers to what my decisions and we often argue about that. I am a little bit of confused. Sometimes, i ask myself if i did the right thing or not. Thats the main reason i came to this site seeking answers and other opinions of single moms like me.
    -Ann

    1. You shouldn't disclose your personal matters to your kid just now . She will discover you gradually . Let her to live as like other normal children around you . I think you should take more attention to your kids overall development like her cognitive effect and psycho motor domains . As an educational psychologist I can suggest to consult with a Clinical Psychologist and it would better for both of you .

  2. Hi .... I need some advice...my 8 yr old son is typically a follower and doesn't really defend himself...He's alot taller and bigger than most 8 yr olds in class. There's a boy in his class with ADHD. The kid pushes and picks on others ... my son tells the kid' mom and no avail ... mom sees it and nothing but a weak stop it and the kid continues. Finally my exhusband got fed up and said hit/push back. The kid is half my son's size ... needless to say his mom is now upset. I want to address with the other mom .. we kind of spoke abour it already but I feel that she's on defensive and now my son is the bad guy. I can't allow my kid to continue getting pushed and messed with but on the same token I don't want him to hit everyone who bothers him either... what's worse is that he has said on more than 1 occasion mom x's mom doesn't do anything ... why? Or why should I tell his mom and dad they don't do anything ??
    HELP

    1. ADHD is defined as Attention Deficit Hyper Activity Disorder . It can be controlled with proper medication and psycho therapy by consulting a Neurological Surgeon or pediatric consultant. Covey the son's mom and school authority to opt for medication and arrangement for Special Need education by Special Educator .You should not retaliate in the same manner as the ADHD kid behaves . Ask the school authority to find out reason and it proper solution .
      Mild level of ADHD is curable with medication and psychotherapy .

  3. Hello Jan Olson. I don't know if you will get this as your post was 3 months ago. I completely sympathize with you and I hope you are well. I truly struggle with being a single mother. I have 5 total from 2 years to 19. I do well some days but as of lately it is killing me. I have to fight bitterness and anger that the man I married has abandoned me in parenting.
    That due to the evil and dysfunction of my family that I do not have grandparents or aunts and uncles ect to help on either sides of their bloodline. That overall people either see and don't care or they truly have no idea how hard aim struggling. I don't want to continue to ask for help only to not be heard or given insufficient support.
    I am a woman who believes in Yahweh and his son Yahshua, and I know that is where my strength comes from, yet I get weak and break from time to time. Usually in the form of drinking to much when I do drink, and that I still smoke.
    I guess the hardest part is the redundancy. No matter how stressful one day was you have to get up and do it all again the next day. I don't feel myself. I feel suffocated and frustrated that almost every moment I have is consumed. My appearance has taken a hit.
    Meeting somebody doesn't even seem t o be an option for me. Men are not chivalrous , and more are looking for a woman to take care of them. It would take an extra special man to raise and love children that are not biologically hiss as his own. Plus love me and be patient as I am weary in many aspects.
    I believe Yahweh has a good and perfect plan, but struggle to hold fast that it will not always be this way. I honestly just cope the best I can. I will pray for you I hope you pray for me, and hopefully oneday our voices will be heard and we will get some relief.
    Yahweh bless.

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