It's Perfectly OK to Be Single and Not Dating

Are You Single? It's Really OK.

It seems that everywhere you look, from television and movies to advertising, the message is constantly being sent that you need a boyfriend or girlfriend to be complete. This message is a lie. Just ten minutes listening to popular music and it's obvious we are a society obsessed with romantic relationships.

The I've got to be in love syndrome is the most popular topic people call my radio show about. Very few calls or comments I receive from teenagers and young adults ever speak to the benefits of not dating. I often have to tell people, "Don't worry, if you don't have a bf/gf right now, you won't die." While there are definitely some benefits of being in a relationship, there are certainly just as many to not dating.

Delaney commented to me about being happy without a guy in her life: I have great friends that are always there for me and always know how to make me happy, and I have a wonderful family that loves and cares for me as I do for them. Life isn't always about having a boyfriend or a girlfriend. I think life is about living your life to the fullest without having a guy or girl.

When I tried dating, it brought a whole lot of drama in my life that I have never experienced, and it made my life a lot harder than I think it needed to be. It seems to me like having a guy in your life makes everything else harder to accomplish. As of right now, I'm loving the single life and hanging with friends and not worrying about boys and drama!
I have been thinking a lot lately about the benefits of not dating. Here are just a few of the many benefits a person can enjoy while being single.

4 Benefits to Being Single

A dating relationship is extremely time-consuming. Right?

While this may sound well and good, it does take away from the time you may need to really get to know yourself, God and those around you.

Get To Know Yourself

What do you like? What makes you happy? What makes you sad? What do you enjoy spending your time doing when no one is around? Being single gives you time to develop yourself. It will increase your confidence, which is considerably more attractive than always needing to have a bf/gf at your side. I think if more people would spend their time developing into the right person, instead of always looking to find the right person, they'd be much happier.

Riah commented to me just this week how she doesn't need to have somebody say "I love you" for her to be happy: If you are happy with yourself then you will be content if you don't have somebody, and you will still hold your head up and walk with confidence. Some advantages are that you have a calm, peaceful life. It's a lot less worry-some, and you will probably have a lot more time on your hands to do something that can benefit you and your life.

Do Things that Make you Happy

She's right. When you are not dating, you have much more time on your hands to do the things you really want to do. If you want to do nothing, or read a book or watch a movie, or hang out with friends, you can do it. Take advantage of your singleness to get to know a lot of different kinds of people. Find ways to be the best friend you can to those you care about the most.

Have a lot of different kinds of experiences. This will help you in the long run know better what to look for in a career, or even a mate.

Avoid the Drama of Bad Relationships

Many people get into relationships just to be in a relationship. When you are in a relationship for the wrong reasons, a lot of unnecessary drama and heartache occurs. Bad relationships are time-consuming, emotionally draining and just plain too much work.

With all this being said, if you are currently in a bad where you don't feel free or fulfilled, get out. The sky will not fall. The sun will still rise in the morning. Relationships aren't supposed to feel like you're in prison.

Get To Know God

The most important relationship you will ever have in your life is a relationship with God.  When you're single, you have more time to explore who God is and how much He loves you. Use this time to figure out what you believe and grow in your faith.

God has a great plan for your life, including who you may date in the future if you follow him.  "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Use the extra time you have to develop a meaningful relationship with your creator and the lover of your soul. You can spend time reading the Bible, praying and even finding a church.

Enjoy this Season

Being single is something to cherish, not to be afraid of. Being in a relationship is something to value, as well. But don't feel like you have to be in a relationship in order to be happy. Get to know yourself and God, and you can be happy, whether in a relationship with a bf/gf or not.

Dawson McAllister
Dawson McAllister, also known as America's youth pastor, was an author, radio host, speaker, and founder of TheHopeLine. McAllister attended Bethel College in Minnesota for undergraduate work where he graduated in 1968, began graduate studies at Talbot School of Theology in California, and received an honorary doctorate from Biola University.
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