Dawson’s Blog

Moving Beyond Just Friends

When Should You Move Beyond Just Friends?

Is it possible you are falling in love with your best friend? When did it suddenly become a romance? Can you relate to Joshua?
Joshua asked: I really like this girl and she really likes me. We keep telling each other we love one another and we would like to go out but we don’t want to mess up our friendship if anything goes wrong in the relationship. What should I do?

You are in a really great place with your friend. Most people should be so fortunate. But it sounds like you’re wondering what might be next for your relationship, or what it might look like to take things to the next level. The first thing you should do is have a talk with her about what it would mean for you to start dating each other. Does that mean you’re going to start spending more time together? Are you committing to being exclusive with each other? You both might have entirely different ideas about what a dating relationship would look like. By exclusive dating you are telling each other I’m yours. But don’t fall into the trap that thinks being physical with each other needs to be the next step. Almost all heavily sexual dating relationships self-destruct.

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Don’t forget to keep having fun. Sometimes when you start dating the relationship can feel heavy and serious. This is all the more reason to remind yourself of how much you enjoy just being with each other. And most importantly, keep communicating with each other. Make a pact with each other that if at any time one of you feels uncomfortable, you will talk about it, and make adjustments to fix what is causing the discomfort. Take your time with all this, and experience all the good things already present in the relationship. Don’t worry about trying to stir up more feelings by calling it a dating relationship. Be happy with the great thing the two of you already have.

Ginger asked: Whenever I find a guy I’m interested in I start talking to him in a friendship kind of way, but that’s all it turns into, friendship. Any advice?

Sounds like you’re great at making friends with people of the opposite sex. This is a fantastic gift many people don’t develop. Having a great friend is priceless. But you’re probably wondering how to turn a good friend into a boyfriend. The reality is that not everyone you’re attracted to as a friend is going to be attracted to you. You can’t control who is attracted to you, but you can control how attractive you are.

Guys are attracted to a girl who takes care of herself, someone who is confident, yet still takes time to show that she respects him. Most guys like a girl who works to make herself more beautiful both inside and out.

Sometimes a girl can put so much energy into trying to show a guy how much she likes him that she appears to not have much of a life outside of her desire to be in a relationship. This is definitely a turn-off to both sexes. Guys like girls with a bit of mystery about them. They like a challenge. Guys usually don’t want the girl that everyone can have, so don’t trap your friend into making him want to have a dating relationship with you.

Keep paying attention to the people around you. But more importantly, live life to the fullest. This will make you even more attractive.

Download this free eBook from TheHopeLine® to learn more about healthy principles of dating.

Dawson McAllister Dawson McAllister (born in New Kensington, Pennsylvania) is an American speaker, radio host, and author. He is the founder of Dawson McAllister Association and TheHopeLine and host of the national radio program Dawson McAllister Live, which is aired on Sunday nights. Dawson has been speaking to and in support of teenagers and young adults for over 40 years.
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