I’m Dewinsar and I’m 19. Everyday after going to school, I just sit in my room doing nothing. I wonder why I’m still going to school. No one wants me there. They hate me and said that I’m not wanted. They push me away like I’m a monster. Sometimes I can convince myself that I’m not really alive. It’s like a nightmare, but I just can’t wake up.
I Really Hated Myself
I feel suicidal every day. I really hated myself because of the way I look. I’ve become crazy with my thoughts. Some days I cry because of the load of shame and hate. Other days I giggle without reason. My hobby is writing. I love to write so much, but now I can’t write anymore. I don’t know why. I’m trying, but I have a hard time focusing. I haven’t written in almost 4 months.
Now I Know I’m Not Alone
I needed someone. I really needed a friend who knows what I feel. So I found this site. Now I know I’m not alone. I read all of your stories and they make me feel better because I’m not alone, you know? I have the same scars, like you. I have the same pain, like you. So I’m so thankful to you because you are still alive. Your stories help.
No matter how others feel about you or how you feel about yourself, you are loved and accepted by God! Once you have accepted Jesus Christ into your life you can never be separated from the love of God. You will find grace and mercy in Him in times of need. You are significant and worthy and Jesus’ chosen friend.
You too are not alone! Like, Dewinsar, you can read stories here – Stories List. And then take a moment to share your own story to encourage others – Share Your Story.
And if you need to talk to someone, you can chat with a HopeCoach any evening here – Get Help.
Photo Credit: Dawid Zawiła