Dawson’s Blog

Comparing Love vs. Lust

Love Gives, Lust Takes

A relationship based on lust can be devastating. It’s impossible to know how many people’s lives have been really messed up because of lust. I do know lust has left a lot of people as hurting victims. Amy sent me a poem this week about lust. It’s pretty deep. Got me thinking. Thought you might like it.

I desire in moment not in the heartUnhappy girl on a bed wondering what just happened
I chose to spend a night with you,
But those hours were spent in lust,
I felt your passion,
Touched by dominance,
I felt something in me I stared into your eyes,
But after the moments over I begin to despise,
I have a heart that believes the words you say,
I don’t know how I will be able to walk away,
But I praise myself if I don’t think of you today.
My dreams wander to the person I love,
You constantly reappear,
I force myself to vomit thoughts of you,
I slip into sinful fantasies,
But the night is a painful reminder,
That I remain alone.- Amy

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Love is every bit as beautiful as lust is ugly. Lust causes so much confusion it can lead you in the opposite direction of where love is. So you go down the road of lust thinking you will find love only to find emptiness and a craving for more love. I appreciate the comment Dara sent me. Her words were honest, straight forward, and cold as ice. That’s what lust will do to you turn you into someone as cold as ice.  I hate being alone and find lust more easily then love. Lust does hurt, each and every time. I know what the outcome will be and [yet] I still touch the hot stove with my bare hand. Maybe for girls, all women, all ages that are dealing with and understanding what I’m saying I leave you with this one thought…… We have to LUST TO FIND LOVE, the world is cold and when we find something warm it feels so good so we lust. Lust to me is what you have to go through to find your love, the world isn’t a perfect place. Problem is lust seldom leads to love.

Love gives selflessly. Lust takes greedily. #chooselove Click To Tweet

So what are the differences between love and lust that would make them such opposites? There are far too many differences for me to list in one blog, but a few will suffice.

Love Lust

Is a passionate and deep affection for the other person. 


Is an intense craving for sexual desire.


Is patient and can wait to give. As someone once said, True love waits.


Can’t wait to get. It is demanding and impulsive like someone screaming in your ear, I want it now!


Is a decision we make. It is an act of the will with undying commitment.


Is immersed in emotion and cravings that refuse to make a commitment that will last. 


Wants the best for the other person.


Wants to be with someone only for what they can offer you.


Doesn’t expect anything. Is unconditional.


Is conditional and will only survive if it gets what it wants.


Learns to trust.


Is jealous and suspicious.


Gives freedom to the other.


Seeks to control and manipulate.


Does not get angry easily.


Quickly turns to rage and attacks.


Always protects.


Takes to tear down and destroy.


Never rude but treats the other with immense respect.


Shows no respect and is cruel.


Is always kind looking for ways to show the other its true self.


Is always trying to hide its true nature by deceiving and manipulating.


It is true that lust causes confusion, sometimes fooling us and luring us into its trap. But most of the time, we recognize lust for what it is and choose to follow it blindly. Somehow we hope lust will bring us to a happy ending. It never does. It can’t. It does not know how. Lust will never change. It will always be what it is.

fo18lpxmlvk-kristina-litvjakLove never changes either. Love wants to lead us to the right path where there is happiness, hope, and a deep sense of self respect. Love always gives because God is love. So ask yourself again, Am I in love or am I fooling myself all the while walking into the cruel trap of lust? The decision is ours and will always be so. Will we walk down the road of love or lust? How we answer this question will dictate what our lives will become. Choose love.

For more information on how to understand why you are making the dating choices you are and how to make better ones, check out TheHopeLine’s eBook: Understanding Dating.

Dawson McAllister Dawson McAllister (born in New Kensington, Pennsylvania) is an American speaker, radio host, and author. He is the founder of Dawson McAllister Association and TheHopeLine and host of the national radio program Dawson McAllister Live, which is aired on Sunday nights. Dawson has been speaking to and in support of teenagers and young adults for over 40 years.
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