Dawson’s Blog

The Danger of Gossip

What You Should Know About The Danger Of Gossip

It’s been said, knowledge is power. Unfortunately, many people like to spread damaging information or intimate details about others, whether true or not. This is what is called gossip. It used to be that people called gossip, dishing the dirt. Whatever it’s called, people use gossip to hurt people, in order to feel good about themselves, and to feel like they have power over others.

If you know something juicy someone did over the weekend, it’s easy to feel like you have to tell others. We especially like it when we hear something that makes someone look bad. Celebrity bloggers and gossip magazines make millions of dollars off of this unfortunate reality. I’m sure you’ve encountered gossip. Some people seem to thrive on it.

 

It’s time for you to decide you don’t want to have any part of it.

The most dangerous part about gossip is that it steals another person’s reputation. A reputation is very fragile. When you gossip, you are helping to destroy something extremely valuable. An anonymous blogger wrote: After telling my best friend, it leaked that I tried [cutting] once. Everyone thought I was even more of a freak.

If you think it’s time for you to decide you don’t want to have any part of gossip, here are some tips on how to do it

1) Make a commitment you’re not going to gossip.
Even though the temptation to gossip is powerful, you will always win when you choose not to use it. And really, with all gossip, there’s no way of knowing for sure what is true or not. Paul wrote: I admit that I love spreading rumors. It’s all about telling lies about someone you don’t like. It usually works. That’s the problem, it does work, almost every time.

 

The most dangerous part about gossip is that it steals another person’s reputation.

2) Don’t listen to others when they gossip
Gossip grows an audience. You simply being there listening to it adds to its appeal. If someone starts to tell you something gossipy, say, I’m sorry, but I don’t feel comfortable talking about this person when they’re not here to defend themselves.Not only will you break the gossip chain, but you also will gain the trust of other people, as someone who won’t spread rumors.

 

With all gossip, there’s no way of knowing what is truth or lies.

3) Don’t judge people based on gossip.
If you should hear gossip about someone you don’t know, you have two choices: allow the gossip to determine what you believe, or let your own personal experience determine what you think. The first time you have an experience with someone that is contrary to the gossip you’ve heard, you’ll be a lot more careful about spreading or believing gossip the next time you hear it.

Katy wrote: My best friend is someone who people used to say really bad things about. But once I got to know her, I learned the truth about her. I’m so glad I gave her a chance.

4) Think before you speak.
Before you repeat something you’ve heard about another person, think: does this really do any good for me to spread this information? Or am I just trying to be in the know?Is the information even true? Could I be hurting someone by telling this, even if it’s true? If the person you are talking to is not part of the problem, or part of the solution, there’s no need to tell them anything.

 

Don’t associate with people who find such great joy in belittling others.

5) Stay away from people who gossip to youthey will gossip about you. Don’t associate with people who find such great joy in belittling others. Be very careful about what you choose to tell these people. If it’s a close friend, you might consider saying how you want to stop spreading gossip, and that you’d really like her help.

There’s an old saying, stick and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me.That’s not true. Being gossiped about can be extremely painful. If you don’t want it done to you, don’t do it to others. In the end, it never pays to gossip.

Next week, I’m going to write about what you can do to rebuild a bad reputationdestroyed by gossip, and then I’ll follow that up with ways you can protect your reputation. What have you done to repair a bad reputation? Please tell me your story. I look forward to hearing from you.

Dawson McAllister Dawson McAllister (born in New Kensington, Pennsylvania) is an American speaker, radio host, and author. He is the founder of Dawson McAllister Association and TheHopeLine and host of the national radio program Dawson McAllister Live, which is aired on Sunday nights. Dawson has been speaking to and in support of teenagers and young adults for over 40 years.
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  • Ferdinand

    Absolutely right. What a good lesson

  • Pasquale

    all my friends who always gossip about others to me,ever since i realized the evil of bad mouthing others.i started avoiding them like a plague,knowing that such people will eventually gossip about me too.

  • Jessica

    Hi, I’m writing here because I’ve used the online chatting system once. I loved reading this article and appreciate the information.
    I just wanted to share that I will not gossip about another person, judge another person, or damage another person’s reputation. I personally would like to make this commitment because I myself have been misunderstood a lot of times due to growing up in poverty and a dysfunctional family. But, in all gratefulness, I would like to proudly share that good intentions shine through and as long as you have the right mindset and set it in into motion your reputation will be protected by God in the end. Don’t buy into gossip! It will come back to you.

  • dora

    i have 16 yrs workk in my office avoid group gossip so other collegue in othe office gossip about me say i was talking about her so she likes to give me lift and gossip about other collegue so i think nomore allow her to give me lift and go with her to the shop it is write .

  • Rylee

    This post has been so useful because it provides steps to stop gossiping that actually seem possible to achieve. We are so used to the gossip being all around us that it is hard not to get sucked back in.

  • MWienckowski

    My husband gossiped about me when we we’re separated. He chose to email my brother, and sons with very negative accusations, very damaging information about my mental status. Theses statements weren’t true but we very damaging to my relationship with my older son. He will not speak to me and hasn’t for over a year now.

  • MWienckowski

    My husband spread negative gossip about me, during a separation.He sent negative emails to my family members. Many facts were totally inaccurate but it was very damaging to my relationship with my oldest son. He will not speak to me and hasn’t for over a year but talks to my husband.

    This has great emotional distress to me and the marriage. How can I ever trust him again?

    Shouldn’t he be responsible for the damage he’s caused to the relationships in my family?

  • Wow! This guy was born in my area and do I have a story to tell! I can’t begin to do all here but the slander my sister spread about me systematically for years is so detailed and horrible that it crosses state lines and virtually replaces my public identity with her fake one and I can’t get out from under it. It has reached and destroyed almost all of my relationship from family to family friends to everyone else I’ve known my whole life.

    People won’t even allow me to show they are wrong because they twist everything I do to fit their idea of me IF they even acknowledge me as a valid person. I do need help to change this and don’t feel it’s possible as it is. I thought ignoring it would be best and didn’t want to engage or give it power but it’s beyond my control and effects my life completely whether I let it or not. I feel like a prisoner waiting for a charity to help me prove my innocents. It’s immobilizing.

  • People say these things all the time like you shouldn’t let it bother you or why do you care what these kinds of people say and the answer to that question is those statements put the burden of the whole thing on the person being victimized like it’s their fault they are affected by something that regardless of how the victim takes it it’s damaging and that takes away from the responsibility of the person who’s doing it which is completely unfair and makes the victim feel like they’re being victimized again. Also people don’t realize how absolutely exhausting it is to not let it bother you or to rise above it. People don’t realize that even if it doesn’t bother you and you don’t take it personally the negativity has a terrible impact on you and last of all people’s wrong ideas if you can indeed directly affect your life in ways you may not even have thought of and that said on a small scale you’re right don’t let some person’s gossip bother you. On a large scale like in my case it has literally robbed me of the reputation I built with hard work and being someone I was proud of for 20 years almost overnight and force me to have to prove myself to people for reasons that aren’t real if Iwant to change their minds and the hatred that is directed towards me is so life-threatening that the whole thing is just a hideous nightmare. I have to constantly work to remember my own worth and not let it bother me and it’s just constant effort because it reached all the significant people in my life.

    Those I’ve had contact with have treated me as though I am not even worth regarding as a valid human and you can’t prove them wrong when they won’t even give you the chance. I could move to another state but that’s a lot of effort and so yeah that affects you too.

    • Manny Maria Siegel

      Its like all of a sudden people treat you different and you don’t know why. I believe that gossip is used to punish someone your angry with to ruin them. And these cowards now have the satisfaction of revenge. I don’t gossip but have been the victim many times by my own family