Hope For Your Broken Heart
Some people tell me that after their heart has been broken, they can’t eat, they can’t sleep, and their grades start dropping. It’s not an easy journey to move from a broken heart to healing, but it is possible, and it is necessary. You will need to take some hard steps of putting the hurt behind you so you can get on with the rest of your life. I hate to see you suffer, so here are a few tips for moving forward after a broken heart.
5 Ways to Move Ahead
1. Let go of mementos. If you’ve been dating someone a while, you no doubt have collected items that remind you of the one who left you behind. When you were still dating that person, these mementos meant the world to you and had a powerful impact on your emotions. But now, these same mementos only work to break your heart.
These include things like pictures, rings, pillows, music, clothes, etc. Hanging on to reminders of the relationship will get in the way of moving on. Get rid of them. This can be hard to do because there is something very final about throwing them away. You are finally admitting to yourself, “It’s over. It’s truly over.” This is an important step to take.
2. Keep yourself busy by giving to others. When you were dating, you spent hours and hours with your special someone who has broken your heart. Now you have all this time on your hands. People who get over broken hearts find ways to fill that time with something positive. For example, you might want to get to know your friends again. Hanging out with them will help remind you of the good old days before your ex. Or you can get involved in helping organizations like Big Brothers/Big Sisters or volunteer somewhere else. Filling your time with positive activities will both help distract you and help you feel good again
3. Take care of yourself physically. It is very difficult to overcome a broken heart when you don’t feel good physically. Not feeling well only adds to your depression. When people have their hearts broken, people either tend to quit eating or begin overeating. Sometimes they try to self-medicate through drugs or alcohol. None of this works and usually makes matters far worse.
When we eat right, we have more energy, more endurance, and less mood swings. Getting good exercise actually triggers chemicals in our brain helping to lift our mood. Have a friend to encourage you to exercise and eat right. Soon you will be feeling better, even if you’re not sure why.
4. Realize it’s mostly about you, not your ex. Any event in our lives is just that an event. The issue comes down to how we interpret that event. Two people going through the same type of break-up can interpret it and respond to it very differently. So, in the end, it comes down to whether you are going to allow this break-up to make you stronger or stay a victim. It’s no longer about the ex and how horrible they were or what they did. At some point it becomes mostly about you and whether or not you decide to move on.
5. Move on. Finally, that moment comes. Sometimes it creeps up on you. Other times, it’s like a light bulb goes on in your heart and you say to yourself, “It’s time for me to move on. I’m not going to die. The sun will come up tomorrow and I feel myself learning to live without the other person. In fact, I can go a whole day without thinking of him/her.” When that happens, it’s an awesome thing. There’s nothing quite like the realization you have decided to move on.
For more help and answers to your questions on breaking up and heartbreak, check out this page full of blogs, podcasts, stories, and more!
My husband & I were together 10 yrs, 4 yrs married he divorced me a little over 6months ago i havent heard a word from him. It all started August 2018 he was cheating after working at a new job for 5 months I've been devastated leaning on GOD the whole way through hoping he will restore us through my prayers I still love him, still want him but I want him to give his heart to GOD first so I'll know its right I'll know its GODS WILL NOT MINE! IVE BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH PAIN I want to reach out to him but I feel I'll only be disappointed if I do things my way instead of waiting on GOD I MISS HIM HE WAS MY HUSBAND NOT JUST A BF. My heart goes out to anyone who feels this pain may GOD touch u with his strength, comfort & peace! I'm not giving up in hope & prayer.
God don’t always show up and God don’t always help. I am suffering a great pain of rejection and it’s not her fault, but mine for hoping for her heart that she warned didn’t beat for me. I made a mess of everything by forcing a love that wasn’t there now I hurt horribly and it’s all my own fault. God is no where to be found and I don’t have his comfort or help. I want him to just take the pain away and make me, MAKE ME, normal and whole again. 💔😢
Am just passing through heartbreak, i broke up with him cause i find out he's going out with my sister.D pain is much.Am confused should I talk to my sister or not
The end of any relationship is like a death. There is a grieving process before you can get on with healing.
Write a letter to yourself like your writing your best friend. You would tell your best friend to love herself! Right? To move on! It’s not so simple. But it does start with writing it.
First say goodbye to all the things you invented in your head all the dreams you built together or in your head (one day get married or one buy a house together or one day have children together or one day retire together and travel whatever the “dreams” were that you planned together say goodbye! Bye to all of them! Write it down too! You will never share those dreams with that person. Cry it out. Most of your sadness in a break up is not saying goodbye to the flawed person you loved, it’s saying goodbye to who you built that person to be in your head. So say bye to the person that doesn’t really exsist.
Then tell yourself all the reasons you are better off without him (write it down). Remember who he REALLY was... all the flaws... all the things he hated doing with you? So you stopped doing it or not as often? Remember all the times he disappointed you or upset you? Write it down! Say goodbye to all of it! He can’t do any of that anymore. He can’t hurt you anymore! It is so freeing and uplifting
Now say hello to your new life! Write down all the things you can do now without him! Maybe he hated the movies or or hated traveling or hated traveling to big cities or warm beaches.. maybe he hated shopping or hated certain restaurants or food types, or hated certain sports or teams, or music groups you loved he hated or maybe it was musicals or plays you love he hated. Write it all down. ... write down every single thing you enjoy and especially what you CAN do now without him and fully enjoy it!
Now get your calendar and start planning things! Get yourself out of the house doing things he hated that you loved! Now you can enjoy it and now you can start to build memories with old friends and new friends that will not drag your X into your future.
Your future is about you enjoying your life!
Don’t let these X boyfriends that do not GENUINELY care about your happiness steal one more minute of joy from you!
Only you own your life. Don’t give your X the power to steal your peace.
Life is so short, go enjoy every minute without any regard to where he is or what he is doing... I promise you, he is living his life without any regard or thought of you.
Hugs and healing to you all.
This is very nice. I am going thru a break up right now and I am trying to move on and be okay again.
Thank you!!! This is what I really needed to hear! A real game plan....writing it all down for my eyes to see. Its like I know its for the best, but its so hard to let it go. And yes a lot of myself got list in him. And I am having a hard time of letting go of our future...which we talked so much about but he never intended of having. Thank you
Ohh sorry love..it will get better in time,my question is why is this guy not dating you cause it looks like you have some connection..whats complicated about this..
Lets hope you will pull througj
I remember in 2016, I told my friends I can't love anybody and only dated people because I wanted to have a relationship. Once they mess up, I move on. I had this seat mate in training school in 2016, we were too close for comfort, i have had so many male friends but it was different this time. We grew closer as time went by and emotions started to grow.
By then, he had advised me to date my current boyfriend which I did and I also started encouraging him to get a girl friend.
In 2017, we had grown so close people started thinking we were dating, in short I get comments of "You know this guy loves you".
I went visiting him sometime mid last year and we kissed, I was supposed to be the hard core but I had a soft spot for him. Yea, we made out more times after that day. Leave work and make out etc.
I told him I had feelings for him late last year, he said he felt the same way but I had a boyfriend.
We agreed, we needed to protect our friendship, so no dating. He had a lady he liked but sincerely I thought at that moment he loved me but we just wanted to keep the friendship.
The months went on and we were still very close.
I was sure I was in love with him. I had planned to break up with my boyfriend and give us a chance, unknown to me he had srarted sleeping with the girl he liked.
I picked up his phone one mid night and read the chat. I cried like a baby that day, but that didn't make me stop whatever we were doing but I didn't break up with my boyfriend anymore.
By February this year, he called me to tell me he was going to date the girl he liked. I was reading for an exam that day, I remember putting my books aside.
I was completely heart broken, I cried, I think I begged him. He said it was complicated, I was completely in Love with my supposed best friend. I have cried everyday since then, I asked myself what it was I lacked, was it sex, was it money etc
We stopped going for lunch, we stopped so many things we did together. We sometimes make out if we left alone together.
I broke up with my boyfriend because he felt it that i loved another but we back together now after i claimed i have moved past it but the truth is I have not. I still think about him, miss him, still get affected by his inaction or actions, still make out if we alone.
I can't tell my friends or family this story because they will be disappointed especially because of my lack of self discipline, so I decided to share it here, maybe I will feel better.
I am working on being self disciplined and moving on with my boyfriend who really loves me and pray God grants me the Grace.