I want to blog on a subject almost every one of us at one time or another will have to face, and that is how to deal with a broken heart. On my radio show, Dawson McAllister Live, the number one topic people want to talk about is how to get over a heartbreak with their boyfriend/girlfriend or how to win back their bf/gf.
15 Practical Steps to Help You Get Over Heartbreak
If you haven't had a broken heart yet, you will someday. Maybe you will be able to go through the dating relationships until you find the right one without getting hurt. But in the end, someday someone might break your heart. Maybe one of your children or someone else in your family. If you have the capacity to love, and I'm sure you do, then you also have the capacity to be hurt. Specifically, let's talk about a broken heart caused by a bf/gf. So, what causes a broken heart?
Your Heart is Broken When...
- You find out your bf/gf is cheating on you with your best friend.
- That sick feeling you feel when your bf/gf becomes more and more distant, and you know something is wrong.
- That frustration and hurt you feel when the fights with your bf/gf become more frequent and more destructive.
- The lightning bolt shock that takes your breath away when the person you love tells you they don't want to date you anymore.
- The humiliating feeling that comes over you when you hear the one you love to say, "Let's just be friends."
But the question remains, what can you do to fix or mend a broken heart? While it's hard to define what a broken heart is, everyone knows what it feels like when they have one. This blog series could end up being one of the most meaningful series you have ever read. I hope so because I don't want you to suffer any more pain than you absolutely have to.
If you follow the advice, I will be giving you, I'm convinced you will heal much quicker. Let me prepare you for this series. I'm going to list for you the Top 15 things you can do to help heal a broken heart and next week explain what each one means.
15 Ways to Get Over a Broken Heart
1. Take heart, you will get through this.
2. Talk to someone who cares.
3. Allow yourself to be human and feel the pain.
4. Immediately take your broken heart to God.
5. Give yourself time to heal.
6. Learn lessons from the experience.
7. Be careful…don’t date destructive people to begin with.
8. Don’t overreact and embarrass yourself.
9. Don’t overanalyze.
10. Don’t go into rebound dating.
11. Let go of mementos.
12. Keep yourself busy by giving to others.
13. Take Care of yourself physically.
14. It’s mostly about you, not your ex.
15. Move on
I’m going to break this list down into manageable sections so we can dive deeper into each of these 15 points.
I want to look at the healing process, moving forward, & things to avoid for a broken heart.
I was only with my girlfriend for 6 months, but she was the light In my life, she made me feel so many things, I loved her, knowing that, we were both girls. And I fell hard for her, there was a couple fights throughout the first 5 months, but nothing to harsh, the 6th month was heartbreaking, we fought continuously, she started getting really distant and hanging out with her Ex. And I was left with my heart aching and being depressed. It was like this for a couple days and then finally I couldn’t take it anymore, I told her that we needed to break up, I loved her so much and couldn’t breath, all over her insta story was about her ex and it left me feeling hurt. I use to be the one on there, now. I may sound like a Jealous person, or like I was over reacting. But she also lied to me, it was big and I’m not going to get into it but after breaking up with her my sister Mindy told me to block her on everything bc I couldn’t quit crying and then I did. I didn’t leave my room for 3 days, I layed there crying and not wanting to go on, I deleted all my social media and overall was just a mess. Finally I got up and left my room. As much as I love her and as much as it hurts I know it’s for the best. In the long run, it was toxic. But no matter how many times she hurt me and how many times I cried I always forgave her, until I knew I couldn’t do that anymore. I wonder if she’s hurting as much as I am. Or if I did the right thing
Try your wife dying 8 years ago , raising your 9 year old girl who is even more heartbroken, by yourself, and then 2 years later meeting someone just as special, dating her for 6 years but without living with her so no help in parenting, and then she dumps you. I know, I should have found someone more reliable but love for me anyway is always too blind. Trust me, it does not get any worse than this. Life is so empty and meaningless after all this I can’t begin to describe it. So all this advice is just happy talk.
I honestly don’t know how to put this, but I was in a relationship for 2 years. He happened to have been my first love and I fell so hard for him. Things between us starting spiraling down pretty early in the relationship and I tried convincing myself it was me. I kept trying to find ways to better the relationship, but he never seemed too interested in me, so I tried harder. We had good days, but mostly bad. The thing is, I thought I was crazy over him, because no matter what he did to me I ALWAYS took him or went back to him. A huge part of me feels like I can’t / won’t get over him. I fear being alone, because his presence was always there even if it wasn’t good. I feel hopeless and so small. Also, I feel like I can’t leave him alone, because my heart won’t let me. I can’t stop thinking about him, stalking his every move, and crying my eyes out wondering why I wasn’t good enough.
I was with my ex for about three years. He and I meet at work. We worked in separate depts. Things started out ok, at least that’s what I convinced myself. He showed signs of destruction pretty early. One time we got into it at his place because I found out that he had been communicating and hanging out with another female co worker of ours. I simply made the statement that I was leaving and he literally threw me into the wall leaving a hole in it, tossed my car keys into his back yard, and then threatened to kill me with a knife. Like a fool, I convinced myself that he was jealous and that he loved me. I continued dating him, months later it was brought to my attention that he had been kissing a female in one of the privacy phone booths at work. He had no limit! A year later, he caused me to lose my job with the company by lying to the HR manager about a fight that happened between the two of us off of company premises. After causing me to lose my job, He began to show more and more of the ***hole that he was. He even had his mother being disrespectful! He wouldn’t give me any money or help with anything. He would power his phone off while out eating at restaurants and partying with his relatives. Although I was unemployed, My friends paid my cell phone bill, made sure that my kids and I ate, got us out of the house when needed to keep us sane and kept a little change in my pockets. 6 months later I began working for a bigger, better, and more reliable company, with better pay as well. Before the year ended, I was pregnant. He told me that he did not want the baby and that he did not want to be connected to me for the next 18 years. At first he told me that the baby wasn’t his, then later requested that I have an abortion. I wanted my kid wether he and I lasted or not. I was determined to have my child. He began to intentionally do all sorts of things that he knew would anger or crush me, or my spirit. To make a long story short, He began seeing another female during my pregnancy. He moved out of our home while leaving the responsibility of the past due bills and responsibilities for me to deal with along with a high risk pregnancy on my own. Shortly after I gave birth to our child, He tried partnering with Children & Family Services to take my child for the purposes of him getting custody. Despite of all that happened, I still tried to allow him to be in his child’s life until I began to pick up on his pattern. He only wanted our child when it was convenient for him. He felt that he could pick and choose the days he wanted to be a father. I was up all night with a newborn while he slept peacefully with his girlfriend at night as if our child was only my responsibility. The last straw was the day he hit me when returning my child to me. I knew then that it was time to part ways. Not because I was afraid of him but because I was afraid of MYSELF in fear of what I may do to him if we were to ever cross paths again. I intentionally stay away and avoid him at all costs.
My question to you guys is..... How do I get past this? My child deserves her dad
Your child deserves “A” dad. The man that is biologically related to your child does not deserve his daughter. Do your best to raise your daughter on your own and give her the best life imaginable. Try and mold her life and future to be better than your own. Don’t depend on anyone else for that. Your desire now should be to be completely selfless and better your life for her. Him not being in the picture seems like a step in the right direction, of what you say is true.
Get counseling as fast as possible with a good thearpist you need help "yourself" and you need help dealing with your situation! That is the BEST advice anyone will give you on here it all starts with you...