Broken Heart
I want to blog on a subject almost every one of us at one time or another will have to face, and that is how to deal with a broken heart. On my radio show, Dawson McAllister Live, the number one topic people want to talk about is how to get over a heartbreak with their boyfriend/girlfriend or how to win back their bf/gf.
15 Practical Steps to Help You Get Over Heartbreak
If you haven't had a broken heart yet, you will someday. Maybe you will be able to go through the dating relationships until you find the right one without getting hurt. But in the end, someday someone might break your heart. Maybe one of your children or someone else in your family. If you have the capacity to love, and I'm sure you do, then you also have the capacity to be hurt. Specifically, let's talk about a broken heart caused by a bf/gf. So, what causes a broken heart?
Your Heart is Broken When...
- You find out your bf/gf is cheating on you with your best friend.
- That sick feeling you feel when your bf/gf becomes more and more distant, and you know something is wrong.
- That frustration and hurt you feel when the fights with your bf/gf become more frequent and more destructive.
- The lightning bolt shock that takes your breath away when the person you love tells you they don't want to date you anymore.
- The humiliating feeling that comes over you when you hear the one you love to say, "Let's just be friends."
But the question remains, what can you do to fix or mend a broken heart? While it's hard to define what a broken heart is, everyone knows what it feels like when they have one. This blog series could end up being one of the most meaningful series you have ever read. I hope so because I don't want you to suffer any more pain than you absolutely have to.
If you follow the advice, I will be giving you, I'm convinced you will heal much quicker. Let me prepare you for this series. I'm going to list for you the Top 15 things you can do to help heal a broken heart and next week explain what each one means.
15 Ways to Get Over a Broken Heart
1. Take heart, you will get through this.
2. Talk to someone who cares.
3. Allow yourself to be human and feel the pain.
4. Immediately take your broken heart to God.
5. Give yourself time to heal.
6. Learn lessons from the experience.
7. Be careful…don’t date destructive people to begin with.
8. Don’t overreact and embarrass yourself.
9. Don’t overanalyze.
10. Don’t go into rebound dating.
11. Let go of mementos.
12. Keep yourself busy by giving to others.
13. Take Care of yourself physically.
14. It’s mostly about you, not your ex.
15. Move on
I’m going to break this list down into manageable sections so we can dive deeper into each of these 15 points.
I want to look at the healing process, moving forward, & things to avoid for a broken heart.
Hi
You are most certainly not alone. I had an amazing relationship with an amazing guy who out of the blue decided to end the relationship. My heart physically hurt. I spent every night for months crying myself to sleep. I tried so hard not to contact him, but at times I couldn't stop myself and it only made things worse when I called or texted. I would feel the pain start all over again. It came down to the fact that he didn't communicate well and had let things bottle up and just ended the relationship rather than talk about his feelings. I think about him every single day. I try not to dwell on the situation but inevitably I end up somehow being reminded of him. I love him with all my heart and I don't think it would be fair to any man to get into a relationship when I know that my heart will always be with someone else. So often I wish I had someone close to me that I could just talk to, not be romantically involved, but someone I feel comfortable talking to and someone who understands what it's like. I find that almost all men I meet don't want to be friends, they want more. It's very frustrating and I feel so alone sometimes. I wish you all the best in the world and I hope you find happiness.
I just ended a relationship with my Fiancé after three years together. It's been a few weeks and today is Valentines day. I heard yesterday that she went on a date with someone else and it absolutely crushed me. We fought everyday and there were so many things that were wrong with our relationship. It was a bad relationship. I stayed so long because she begged and cried and i just couldn't stand to see her like that. She swore she loved me and she couldn't live without me. She said she would never find anyone else or ever move on. I'm not stupid I knew eventually she'd move on. But I didn't think it'd be so soon. I think that's what's killing me. The fact that she made me believe that I was the only one for her is also a big reason why I stayed. I felt like I'm never going to find anyone that loves me as much as her. What changed? Was it all a lie? I'm angry because I feel like an idiot for believing her and wasting my time. I know i made the right choice by ending it but I feel miserable. I feel like I have no one to talk to about this that can understand what I'm going through. The only person I want to talk to is her and tell her what I'm going through. I can't do that because I'm scared of her response. I ended it so I feel like I'm supposed to be happy, but I'm not.
I'm here just trying to get over it but it's been a month and I'm crying like it was the day she told me that she didn't want to date anymore. I was in another country and I liked her and I confessed and she said she liked me too. Huge spill of emotions and affection and honestly I didn't see why it ended up this way, so fast forward a few days later, I'm still in the other country and she tells me that she realized she never really liked me and that it was just hormones. (Really bad medical hormone problem here like dude) and of course I'm crying and humiliating myself in public but I tell her it's okay. She still wants to be friends so I don't talk to her for a few days. I back in my home country and I decided that wether I like her or not that she is everything and if she's by my side then that's enough, so I tell her this and we're friends, at least I think we were. She wouldn't talk to me unless I contacted her so I didn't talk to her for a whole entire week to see if she'd contact me and I ask her what's up, and we have this big talk ANS then she tells me that she feels guilty and I trigger her into an existential crisis with just the mere mention of my name and that she feels obligated to be my friend by other people, then, she decides to be strangers.
It's like I lost her all over again. But I agree, and I let her go not realizing that this is worse than before,
I'm best friends with her best friend, so my bff, let's call her Jay, told me that i have to do things for myself and doesn't believe I made the right decision. So I text my ex in hopes of talking and she wants me to stop talking to her and calling her, both of which she didn't really answer back, but I've done everything for her and this is for me. I need her back.
Of course I realize that what I did was horrible but it was called for. Later that day I realize that my ex isn't even giving a second thought about me and I'm here crying over her for the past month. So, I decide that it's my turn to actually agree to the stranger thing. I call her, knowing it will go to voicemail and I tell her my actual goodbyes as a person, which I didn't do before and then she CALLS ME BACK! I answer, afraid and she tells SME that I'm making things worse and that I need to stop calling her and that she's only answering because of Jay, I got so angry and flustered, here is this person I would do anything for, telling me that she didn't really care and never really cared in the first place. Then I said "Look, I want you gone as much as you want me gone."
She paused and then said "thats good"
I was quiet and she asked "Are you good now?"
I wanted to die and I felt the heart behind my face "as long as you are." I replied
It was a small silence before she said "I am." Sweet and everything I ever wanted.
Then I hung up the phone.
And I've be crying since that moment, I can't stop, where do I go from here? She's the first person I've ever truly loved, and she's gone,
This is most likely going to make me look crazy. But 18 years ago I had my heart destroyed by a girl. I knew the exact moment and what I was doing when I fell in love with her. Over years I've tried to hate her. Pretend she doesn't exist and anything I could do to get by. Is some way shape or form she kept popping into my life. I'd bump into her at the store. Friends would share something on Facebook or some other slew of things that I had no real control over. I've tried moving on and have been married once and dated a few women since. Never having that feeling. In a lot of ways the feelings I have for her still are most likely the reason for the failed relationships. Last night I had a dream about having any normal day but the whole things was me married to her. It was so realistic that I swear I could feel her body against mine as we curled in bed to sleep. When I woke up, well lets just say I felt a huge wave of disappointment come over me.
I've actually talked to her about this a while back. Because she said her and her husband wanted to catch up with me. I told her I really couldn't. I don't hold any animosity toward him even though he is who she chose instead of me. I've come to terms with the fact that I will most likely never get over her and decided not to pursue any further relationships. But because of that dream I feel the need to talk to someone and I really cannot talk to people in my personal circle.
Your not alone my friend. It's 4:30 AM as I write this and can't sleep. No offense at all, but what you wrote has made me a feel a bit better as I know that I'm not alone. Basically long story short, I've been talking/seeing a girl I've known since high school that lives in North Carolina. We always had something for each other and never got the chance to date as I was the "bad boy" back then and she was the "good girl." When she was 18 she got married and moved down south to NC and we lost contact for a few years. I ended up having a few kids and was in that relationship for 9 years when I began talking to my high school "flame." Over the last 2 years it was great when we spent the time together and I thought about her day after day and something inside of me knew she was the one for me. The bond between us was incredible and we were amazing together. Over the last 6 months it's been tough and we have not seen each other which lead to her wanting to end what was between us. She is married (long story but he's not the man she wanted to marry) and is now more afraid to mess up her life with her children and her career. She wanted to remain friends and still hope in the future that we would have a future together and I can't just sit around and wait to see if she changes her mind. I told her I can not be her friend as it would just remind me everyday about the times we spent and remind me of her. So here I am having sleepless nights and the dreams man... are spot on what your going through. The hardest part of this all is I'm deeply in love with this girl and she is as well. Everything reminds me of her daily and it's rough man. So if you ever need to talk to anyone I'm around brother. I'm here dealing with the same pain your feeling my friend. Keep that head up as I'm trying to do the same.
Im hurting so bad I feel like I'm carrying all you guys hurt for you Lord help me
I WAS DATING A GIRL IN AMERICA .. NEVER LOVED ANY1 LIKE I LOVED HER B4 ...... JUST OVER 2 MONTHS AGO HER MUM FORCED HER TO LEAVE ME AND THEN SHE HIT ME WITH THE NEWS THAT SHE HAS STAGE 3 LUNG CANCER ..... I HAVE TRIED TO MOVE ON WITH A GIRL I MET ON A DATING SITE BUT AFTER SHE SAID SHE WANTED TO B IN A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP WITH ME I FOUND OUT SHE IS DATING SOME OTHER GUY HONESTLY ALL I WANT TO DO IS B WITH MY EX AGAIN ..... I AM HAVING NO LUCK AND IM OUT OF HOPE .. SOMETIMES IT FEELS LIKE MY ONLY WAY OUT OF THIS HELL IM LIVING RIGHT NOW
Well my bf left and lied and cheated on me and i still love him and i dont know wat to do and hes commong back to school so im confused can u help dawson
Delancy, Sorry for our delay in responding. We are so sorry that your relationship ended like this. You deserved more. W would love to listen and help you through this at TheHopeLine. Call 800.394.4673 or click on "Get Help" to chat. If you want download our free app to your phone to chat, listen to the show, get an email mentor and get encouraged here is the link to download it. http://thehope.dm/thlmobileapp