Dawson’s Blog

When Should A Guy Stop Pursuing A Girl?

There is value in being fearless and bold in the pursuit of your dreams. But for some guys, their dream is to date the most amazing girl they know to the point they don’t know when to stop pursuing this dream.

So let’s have an honest look at when it may be time to give up.

Signs it may be Time to Stop Pursuing a Girl

should a guy stop pursuing a girl

Many girls have a story of a guy who wouldn’t give up in his pursuit of her. In life, persistence often pays off. But when it comes to a guy pursuing a girl, it can be just plain confusing.

Danny wrote: There’s this girl who I really like. But I have no idea whether she likes me or not. Sometimes she acts like she does, but other times she doesn’t. I’m just confused.

Well Danny – here are some obvious signs you should look for that it might be time to move on. But then keep reading for great tips on how to pursue a girl in an appropriate way.

12 Signs to Move On

  • When she obviously avoids you
  • If you show an interest in her, but she seems to ignore you
  • She acts one way around you, and another way around her friends
  • No longer responds to your calls/texts/emails/snaps
  • She asks you to stop
  • Or tells you you’re coming on too strong
  • Your friends tell you to move on
  • She talks to you about another guy she’s interested in
  • If she seems bothered, irritated or angry at you
  • Your self-esteem starts to suffer for it
  • You start to think you are going crazy about the whole situation
  • If you’re wondering if you should stop pursuing her, it’s probably time.

Skye wrote: People need to use the common sense the good Lord gave them. When something in your head tells you not to do something, don’t do it. You’ll thank yourself later.

Roy wrote: Everyone I knew early on told us it would never work out, but I stayed with her to prove them wrong. In the end it left me more broken and confused. Had I listened early on I would have saved myself a great deal of trouble and pain.

Most annoying guys are ones who are convinced they have to be with this one particular girl, even though they might not even really know her. These guys are usually so strongly attracted to something about this girl, that he thinks he’s in love before he even knows her.

Bottom line – if it is taking a lot of effort to get her interested and she is showing no indication she likes you, it is time to back off for both of your sakes.

Related Posts:
How To Find A Meaningful Relationship
How To Know It’s Really Love
4 Ways To Avoid Heartbreak
8 Signs Your Relationship Is Unhealthy

Don’t let one girl determine your self-image.

I know you like this girl a lot, but you don’t want a relationship that is this much work.  Create healthy boundaries for yourself. Boundaries are emotional markers that clearly define where one person ends and the other person begins. Healthy boundaries allow you to be free to be yourself, and not feel like your happiness is dependent on what another person thinks about you. This makes you confident and allows you to be comfortable around other people and develop healthy relationships going forward.

So how can you pursue a girl in an appropriate way?

Relationships take time to develop. You can’t force your way into someone else’s life.

First, just seek to be friends.

Give yourself time to get to know her. But even more importantly, give her time to get to know you. You deserve someone who is interested in you, as well.

Second, don’t act like your entire happiness depends on her realizing how wonderful you are.

That’s a lot of pressure on a girl. She wants someone who is happy and confident in their own right.

Third, show her respect.

Most girls love to be pursued by a guy, or viewed as someone special. Most of the time they appreciate a guy’s persistence and confidence. But more than anything, a girl wants to be respected and valued. The more respect you can show as you pursue her, the better.

Give the Chase a Rest

If you stop pursuing her, and give the chase a rest, you might find out the answer you’re looking for. If she’s interested in you, she may try to find out where you’ve been. She might actually become more interested in you, because you’re not trying so hard. But you might also find that she doesn’t care that you’ve stopped pursuing her. That’s a good sign that you were pursuing the wrong girl. It’s probably time to take a break, and hope that you can get to know each other as friends over time.

Be yourself and be relaxed.

Be yourself, and be relaxed in your pursuit of your dream girl. Don’t act like your entire happiness depends on her realizing how wonderful you are. Keep in mind there are plenty of girls in the world, some of whom will find you attractive and well worth their time.

For more insight into the opposite sex download one of our free eBooks today.

Dawson McAllister Dawson McAllister (born in New Kensington, Pennsylvania) is an American speaker, radio host, and author. He is the founder of Dawson McAllister Association and TheHopeLine and host of the national radio program Dawson McAllister Live, which is aired on Sunday nights. Dawson has been speaking to and in support of teenagers and young adults for over 40 years.
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  • Lucie

    I don’t think this is quite right. Some girls are fragile and if you stop pursuing her she might think you no longer like her. If a guy goes from hot to cold it can be very confusing and hurtful.

    • Petar

      wouldn’t she already declined, if you went to cold? It’s very annoying when she gives a vague answer, vague to you, but not to other girls, so it’s good to have a female friend.

    • Will

      so? if a guy has to resort from going hot to cold. not the guys problem, grow up
      He’s not gonna waste all his time on someone who doesn’t seem interested, nor should he.

  • Divyang Modi

    If someone really like you then even after few months she will try to approach u by any means. Don’t chase her after some limit.

  • Efrain

    Ive know this woman for about a month we had our first date and it went great she texted right after, I know she’s busy a lot and keeps the weekends open only, Ive had great texts convos with her and she’s even called me handsome and added she was looking forward to seeing me which was suppose to be our first date, She cancelled on me at night before saying she had things she was going thru and needed some time to herself and that shell see me another day? I didn’t go off and made it no big deal but feel discouraged to reach out to her after that, I feel like Ive been putting good effort to get to know her and if she’s interested shell contact me! So do I wait for her to contact me? or do I reach out to her after a week or two if she doesn’t contact me asking how she’s been?

    • Exceptional Howard

      Nooooo! If she has not contacted you she’s really not interested. Make her chase you buy asking, “how you been,” the next time you see her but don’t call!

  • Yaser Khedr Selim

    it is good advice.thanks .I will do it from now.but also same time some woman have more quality on other.

  • wyllie chilunga

    Well I have my dreamgirl who I used to be friends with until I told her how I feel, before she used to show signs as if she likes me(as most of my closest friends would say) and now she is different, I baked her favourite cake and gave it to her bestfriend just yesterday, she didn’t even accept it.. So your telling me if I stop pursuing her it will be hurtful? .but to the moderator, I don’t want to give up on this girl what can I do?

    • Jack

      Not the moderator, but I’ll reply anyway. She may have some feelings for you but you’ve likely gone about showing your feelings in an ‘unmanly’ way. What I mean by that is girls don’t respond well to guys who are pushovers and give them gifts randomly. She already knows you and thinks she has you figured out so you’re interest level to her is down. Now you’re giving her gifts, so to her, you’ve lost even more appeal. Don’t give gifts without it being a holiday or something, even then tone it down. Make sure you are still living your own life without her. Another mistake is for guy’s to fawn over the girl and be there too often. You need to regain some of your mystery and your own life. Go on dates with others whether you’re into them or not. If she’s interested, she’ll ask you what you’ve been up to and when you tell her about your life she may or may not show interest. You’ll need to gauge her response honestly.

      • wyllie chilunga

        she asked me that question like a month ago. friends told me to play it cool and not text alot. did that but i dont think it went any where

        • Exceptional Howard

          Willie! Then you go some where!!

      • Exceptional Howard

        Engage by saying, ” I’ve been going out with these fabulous girls who really are nice and caring!” Lol

    • Exceptional Howard

      Give up bro!!Your brain doing more work than it should! Your trying to hard. These girls these days are really weird and selfish. It’s all about them..

  • learningisfun

    I just don’t like a girl right now am i weird?

    • John

      Yes you like me

  • anon

    Well I have been talking to a girl and we shared a kiss last week and the weekend after she slowly stopped talking to me then told me I’m coming off to strong and she didn’t want to get hurt. I’m so confused on what to do on the matter because I kind of felt like I was coming on to strong lol but is there still a chance do you think that I can still get a relationship out of it?

    • Jack

      She told you what was up. Relax, back off on the texting, etc. Don’t push her or push for more. You’ve already got the kiss, you’re practically there, so back off and go slow. Ask her on a date a few days into the future but leave it at that. Go out and have a good time but let her go at her pace

  • Jack

    You have two options: You make a move or you go looking for someone else. If you opt to make a move, try to be in the moment and only do it if the situation feels right. Don’t over think it or you risk making yourself nervous and ruining your chance. So again, be in the moment and go for what you want.

  • pdg

    10 yrs ? really i wasted about 5-6 months on this girl and thought i wasted a long time , but 10 yrs ? man u made me feel so good

  • Rexx

    I’m talking to this really amazing girl but she’s not really talking to me I feel like I have to start a conversation and she just text back like one or two words what do I do

  • andy

    These things have really happened with me… I cant understand that girl

  • washer

    good points,i every bit of ur perspective

  • Russ

    Me and this girl have been dating for a few months now. We have a good time a strong connection, but she has a busy schedule and our communication breaks down from time to time. What do I do? We also don’t share a strong physical connection that also could explain a lot. At this point though she’s been less talkative and I just want to give her space and let her come to me. I just want to know how to address the situation…..

  • imran


  • Josh

    I asked a girl out that I have known for years but haven’t had much to do with her since starting high school. She said no but I want to turn that into a yes later on. The mistake that I knew I had made was asking her out without getting to know her more. So how do I turn that no into a yes

  • ishmael

    in most cases when a girl keep s acting she wants u then the next day she seems different shes not confused at all shes knows what shes doing just that shes using guess work to figure out what makes u tick or how to make things work. see these ladies we oalways tell them to learn from the right media but they prefer to listen to friends and their imagination on who we are and what we want. the thing is she likes u. that’s it. she want to be with u and she don’t know how to express it. give her a surprise visit…..after all if she truly didn’t like u then u will have solved the problem in one visit and u will move on in this case

  • ishmael

    I feel your story man,,it sucks big time. its because they are not learned on nothing about what makes men happy. they use guesswork and it hurts us. ladies want to be pursued and it makes them happy. if only they knew when to stop

  • hi

    that is how you do it it is time for us guys to stand up for ourselves and be treated like humans

  • aaron

    I have been trying to pursue this girl I met for a month now. She recently moved into the city and seems conservative. But when I chat with her I get mixed responses. Sometimes she also equally involved in the conversation. But many times she sends one liners to my texts. But She also likes my posts on fb. I am yet to ask for her number or ask her out. Should I hang on for few more days or should I give it rest.

  • Robert Tyner

    .What did you do?

    • Madilee

      I think it’s right if a girl show you she care you wouldn’t be be confuse, but when she act like she don’t care probable she didn’t want you. I met to send that to Lucie

  • OvaXsposed

    Lotta horsey talk…pardner! ..but U did point to this: leave her be until she VIEWS *YoU* as the one she’s set her sights on. OnLy then will he have a direct connect. ….She calls..say hey babe let’s get together at MY PLACE..not supper,?drinks,?movies,?bowling? Nope…it’s ‘touchy-feely’ oh how she MISSED you! Thats IT! anything less is you’re her rebound cause bozo dumped her.

  • Frabjeous

    Good job bro!

  • Exceptional Howard

    That’s a good move buddy!

  • Exceptional Howard

    Start finding someone else and then brake it to her that you will have to cut it off and see what happens.

  • 12Toastie12

    This is where you move on..

  • Arthur Retana

    This is how I feel right now. I was carpooling with a girl and started developing feelings for her. I am jealous of everyone around her because they get better treatment than I do. This article hits on the right notes but it is difficult for me to not feel some jealousy and resentment because the guy that sits next to me is the guy she gives the most attention. Very difficult gor me to do what this article says but ai will try.

  • Jeffrey Mavin

    whats the point of giving up on someone you love

    • vicky

      When the girl doesn’t show any interest, it is best for both if the guy just leaves. We cannot expect every girl to like us. For average man, out of hundreds of women, one woman might show interest. Rest of them, we have to let them go. Doesn’t matter how difficult it is. It is the only right thing to do.

  • vetiarvind

    Thanks guys, I find that ignoring her makes her more interested, but she doesn’t actively do anything about it, so I’m not going to change my stance. Sadly enough, the heart wants what it wants and I’m still dealing with the “loss” privately. We talked once later (it was more of a hobby related context since she’s an expert on the subject) but I kept it curt and professional and haven’t talked since (it’s been more than a month). I’ve kept busy focusing on other activities, although seeing her now and then still burns me, so I’m planning on rearranging my schedule so i never have to bump into her again. Won’t lie, this is harder to do than it is to write about.

    • Bob

      Let me see if I got this straight. She ignored u once when she was talking to her friends so u are acting like it’s the end between u two? She’s probably looking at u wondering what’s wrong with u. Are u depressed or something? I say what do u have to lose. Man do talk to this girl. How do u expect to get better with women if u don’t give yourself any experience? Get to know her a little. Find out what she likes then ask her out.

  • lovefool

    I’m ha ing this problem. When we first broke up I thought maybe that was just it. So I let her vo but she started showing signs of interest so I persued her too hard because I never wanted to lose her in the first place. That ended with “stop trying to contact me”. So I did eventually and a few years later I was in town visiting a friend and she saw me and showed so much interest she nearly ran me over. But I was so paralyzed by fear of displeasing her again I didnt speak much but I did respond to her. We sat at her house for about an hour almost without word and that was the best I’ve ever fealt in my life. She moved near me and put my arm around her. After the silence I left town. Now I chased her again, of course after she told me to stop again, and now she blocked my facebook and changed her picture to her kissing her new boyfriend. What do I do. Leaving her seems impossible.

    • ToyYoda

      And I thought I had it bad! This girls sounds like very bad news. My advice to you is to cut all ties with her immediately. Don’t see her. Don’t talk to her. Don’t text. Don’t FB. Just drop off the face of the planet. And if she comes fishing for you, do not respond no matter how tempting. Read the Greek mythology about “Ulysses”. You are not Ulysses. Do not even hear her siren call. Stay away.

      Now after you’ve done that, read all you can about “teases”, or “girl teases”. Read read read all the literature, even if it’s redundant. Read until its burned into your brain.

      This may seem difficult to do, but you need to regain your ability to think clearly. I’ve pursued a girl for about a year, only to be dropped. I found out in the process that she enjoys leading men on and dropping them. The longer she leads on, the worse it feels for you, and the more joy she gets out of it.

      You need to see the signs of what a tease is, so you can avoid them, or know how to deal with them. My advice, is to avoid them as much as you can, and with this girl, avoid her forever.


    In the para “So how can a guy know when he’s supposed to stop pursuing a girl?” that every mentioned point happened to me. Your suggestions really did worth to me a lot.. that suggestions helped me to make a fresh start of myself..

  • John Lavorato

    Talked to a girl for a few days, asked her out to a not so ordinary date which would’ve been fun. I have received no response thus far. Not going to pursue because we are in college and have taken a few classes together and I do not want to come off the wrong way. I will admit to having a crush, but sometimes you just gotta to move on. But hey if a girl sees that you’re not clingy, that might just be the golden ticket. The reverse is equally possible but you should never go head over heels for a girl that you barely know. I’ve been there and done that and learning from previous experiences. But if you don’t want to play games, make sure there isn’t one to be played. Being yourself and denying the temptation to jump into the deep end is much better than the alternative.

  • Kaleb

    so me and this girl were really close and over summer i tried contacting her but she never responded so this really made depressed but i started thinking that there are other girls out there so i stopped pursuing

  • vetiarvind

    Listen to this man talk, ladies. Preach.

  • James Gronke

    I don’t think it’s right because there’s this girl I’ve been talking to for about a week we kicked it off good we held couple good conversations we’ve talked heavily texting calling meeting up she kissed me first for a few days then she hits me with I don’t know what I want or I don’t think I’m ready for a relationship and I don’t feel like I can give a hundred percent but she still wants to talk she doesn’t text me as much or call me at all I’m usually the one that tries to start a conversation so what the hell does that mean because I’m really interested in this girl and she’s everything I’ve been looking for we have a date set up for this weekend I don’t know if I should keep pursuing her or just say see you later but I’m really into her can someone help

  • Madilee

    I need a head up. there is this girl I like sometimes she show she care but sometime I just don’t understand her. Before she even told me how much she want to be in my arm to hug me and me to squeeze her and to kiss her. sometimes I text her, I was texting with to 2 or 3 sentence she reply: yeah, wha, oh, really mhmm. We don’t text that much. If a question get happy she would reply in 3 sentence or more. That get me mad. When I talk to her face to face she respond the same way she did before as usual. some other times she act like she didn’t see me. Another time she would give me that eye like she was saying: “you weird” or interesting. another time she look at me like she’s thinking should “I give him a chance or not give him a chance”. One day her Ipad was broken I fix It for her she gave me her password I saw in a text a guy ask her: Do you have a bae a boyfriend or someone you like? she reply “nope, all the guys around here are monkeys and weird but, you seem to be cool”. I was shocked, she even ask question to know more about the guy but the guy respond yeah, oh, really like he was not interested. I still act normal after giving her her Ipad back but I change after seeing that to “not love a girl with my heart but with my head instead”. I had gave her a special gift for her birthday a box with a headband, earrings, Bracelet and a ring with her favorite color on them all. I fix the Ipad and gave her the gifts for her birthday. She didn’t even jump in delight to see what I got her she was only asking me what is inside. She got home she did even text me to say Thank you. Later on was rehearsal at a church I saw her sitting I was walking to the left side in the church. Her head was straight forward but she turn her eyes to the corner left to look at me. Then I ask her what she think about the gift, she said I like then all. I saw that she wear one of the gift I gave her, the headband. She was texting a friend on kik instead of me. Now she wear one of the gift I’m shocked and Suprised at the same time. I saw on kik she made a picture wearing all but never a answer from her texting me. I feel like giving up in go check out other females. The lesson I learned is THE GUY THAT CARE TO MUCH ABOUT A GIRL IS THE ONE THAT GET HURT, BUT THE ONE TREATING HER LIKE TRASH IS THE ONE SHE RUN AFTER. I’m thinking about acting normal, don’t show her I’m mad. I’m goig to say “Hi” to her and smile, but the conversation stop there. I hate to be confused and hurt. ANY IDEAS PEOPLE.

  • raul

    Dude she is giving u a hallpass. U could be having a good time with her and another girl. Make her see i are desired by other women. That usually hota them hard on the face and they will react by chasing u or dumping u is a win for u that way u know how she felt about u. And i u are not having sex with her kick her out the curv. I feel bad for what i read here.

  • Eulogy.

    What if she doesn’t show these signs you listed above, what if she enjoys your company and loves spending time with you, and shows she misses you when you disappear. But she said no when you asked her out? Should you move on?.

    • Alonzo

      Romantically? Yes. What you have in this situation is a very dear friend, nothing more.

  • Griffo

    That’s right. It’s 2015. You need stop being a little boy, grow up and be a man. Face it. Time to toughen up buttercup! Yes men have feelings too but it is manly to take the bull by the horns, it shows you have balls and can face any situation around the relationship not just in persuing her. And in her mind that’s what she needs. Somone who can nurture her, protect her, respect her and be her hero amongst many other things. You see women love anticipation more than the destination. Men love the destination more than the anticipation. So if you pull away you could quite possibly be throwing away the love of your life. But of course do this with moderation, be her friend. Read the signs and always respect her, and her wishes. Forget about friend zoning nonsense.

  • ToyYoda

    So why not reply back to the guy with something like, “hey, sorry about that, I was really busy…” If you don’t, then most guys won’t think you are serious either. I understand the roles women and men play during the dating game, but sometimes giving a guy some feedback is helpful and can make us like you more.

  • ToyYoda

    Ask yourself this question, how hard would it be to be hanging out with her AND her boyfriend? What if the two start to display affections?

    Would you be happy that she found that special someone that is NOT you? If you are, then sure, be her friend. But, if you will feel hurtful, just move on, immediately and abruptly is probably better than gradual.

  • ToyYoda

    So how many months? Give us a figure.

    Also, why don’t girls just come out and say that? “Hey I like you, but I’m not ready for a relationship right now, I really need to think things through.” If the guy isn’t a complete loser, he’ll get that you need your space and respect you even more for your honesty. If the guy takes that as a rejection, well what’s new? Nothing changes but that you saved him from wasting his time.

  • ToyYoda

    It feels like you have a hard time carrying on a light conversation. Most guys eventually end up peppering a girl with nosy questions about herself just to keep a conversation going. I’ve been guilty of it as well. No one wants to be interrogated, or judged for what they did. And sometimes being curious about a person can feel like that to the other person.

    If the girl is insecure, if the girl is poor, if the girl is not reflective of her life, the more the girl does not like nosy personal questions. We can get into why this is so, but for now, you have a valuable piece of information you can use.

    I suggest searching about how to be a good conversationalist. There are plenty of youtube videos that can help you.

  • ToyYoda

    This is tough. My impression is that she did like you at some point. When you didn’t respond to her text, she took that as a minor insult. It’s not enough of an insult to cut you off, but just enough to adjust her relationship with you in terms of text. I would just ask her what is wrong and apologize. But, you know have a bit of information to use. She doesn’t take accidental slights lightly, nor does she tell you about them.

  • ToyYoda

    This is interesting stuff here. Might I ask for a follow up or an addendum? That is, how do you stop the pursuit? Most guys just cut her off completely, and I’m guilty of that. But is that the best way? And is that the best way for every girl?

    I came across this page because I was misled for a year by a tease. She reveled in leading guys on, having them fall for her in a form of presents, love letters, poems or some other foolish thing, and then she’d punt them to the side. I know this because she’d privately let me in on her conquests, telling me, almost gloating to me about how she got a guy to give her presents. She would never take presents tho. This turns out to be an effective way to keep them guessing. She would then put the guy to the side and classify them as chump.

    I thought to myself, I’m different in that she lets me in on her modis operandi, but there will be a time when she does it to me. And she did. Boy does it hurt. I figure it will take twice as long as the pursuit time to get over her completely.

    I hope in my case you don’t say I need to man up and be there for her as a friend. That’s what alot of these chumps do and it just makes her gleeful to see the defeated souls who know they’ve been defeated but keep clinging on for hope. Again, she’s made me privy to her modus operandi.

    So, anyways, I think with teases, at least in my case, the proper, manly thing to do is to cut them off completely.

  • Francis

    That’s the smartest thing to do in situations like these.

  • Dylan

    My gf broke up with me because she said she was stressed out over school, we still talked all the time and she says she still loves me and that we may have a future together. I love her with all my heart, I’d do anything for her, my friends say I should move on bit they don’t understand how I feel. I want to be with her but at the same time I don’t want to chase her and make myself seem clingy in any way. She says she’s been busy lately so we haven’t talked as much, we hardly talk now cause she’s so busy. I don’t know if I should do my best to move on or to wait for her. I want to be with her but I feel like the longer I wait the more I’m gonna get hurt.

    If anyone has any good advice I’d love to hear it cause right now I’m stuck trying to figure out what to do.

  • Argonius

    It looks like she’s not much interested, or she wants you to chase her. Either way you should ignore her until she realize that she has to make some effort too. If she does not respond after while, than she wasn’t much interested in the first place, and there’s no point for you to try anything.

  • Raiko Koala

    Would you kindly add that guys should stop persuing girls if they clarify they are already happy in their current relationship? This article assumes the woman is single. However, some people do not seem to be deterred by other people’s relationships at all. Or assume they are being dishonest about not being single, even though that is irrelevant.

  • Bob

    You’re trying way too hard. U need some mystery.

  • Purplesky

    Seems bothered, irritated or angry at you – check
    When your self-esteem starts to suffer for it – check
    When you start to think you are going crazy about the whole situation – check

    The above 3 are absolutely correct. I’m in a situation right now where the girl I like at work doesn’t reciprocate. I can’t even talk to her about anything without getting my head ripped off, yet she’s happy for other men to go up and talk with her and laugh. That first statement above has made me decide that I will have nothing to do with this girl any longer. Now I see her as beneath me and not worth talking to. How can I like someone who treats me the way she does? And when she does eventually have to talk to me about anything, I’ll give her a taste of her own medicine by showing that she is irritating me and that she’s bothering me. I get on well with most people and enjoy helping anyone and I shouldn’t be letting my self-esteem suffer over an immature little girl who probably has nothing to offer anyone anyway.

  • charlie835139

    This is from my personal experience, and I can usually tell if she’s on her phone the whole time we’re talking. It’s really just rude and a clear sign she’s not interested. I also learned a bunch of other signals she isn’t feeling any attraction.

  • Warren

    The same thing happened to me. It was 3 years ago. I’m still feeling hurt mentally. I met her at my school. She would flirt with me, smile at me, stare at me, and should would even help me with my homework. I started to grow feelings for her. I found out behind my back she said I was a creep and a rapist. Now I don’t trust women even if a they show interest.

  • Tornado Warning

    Your right. I really liked this girl in my class. I gave her all the signs to know I really do. First day we text was cool but the next day she stopped replying. That’s sad

  • Geez

    so a girl i met… randomly happens to be good friends with my ex’s good friend. went on a date everything went great. texted after then it went cold. couple days. later she told me a lied to her about some stuff… turns out her friend told her a bunch of bs. I like her, but should I just let it go?

  • Nothing

    So this girl I’m talking to told me I’m everything she loves in a guy, and we were going great until her ex tried coming back in her life, she’s moved on but just doesn’t feel right cause they had a thing for 3 years and I’ve only been talking to her for maybe 3 months, she told me she isnt giving me her best because she is confused on her feelings, because the ex thing, she said I do like you but sometimes I like like you and other times it’s like a homie like you, she hardly flirts with me anymore but we still do and every time we’re on facetime(we’re long distance but I’m moving by her in a couple months) we just sit there and stare into each other eyes and pause and just start smiling, I don’t know what to do should I give up on her or ?

  • MrDerpHerpinThe3rd

    i’ve been chasing this girl for over 3 years now, we’ve dated twice, and broke up twice. after that i gave her a break for a few months, and now i constantly remind her how much i still feel for her and how much i care, she says she knows, and understands, but says she doesn’t think she can handle a relationship and even tells me she cannot promise she won’t end up with another man… somebody please help me…

  • Golden Eagle

    There is this girl I really like, and I do not think she likes me back. A few years back, I kinda stopped talking to her because of it. Is it wrong to do that?

  • y3shuA imMANu3l


  • Mario


    I need some advice with a girl that I really like, I have been talking/hanging with her for about 2 months already. Everything started at a business party, we had a chat for about 10 minutes, but she had to leave early because she was going on vacation the next day. That same night after she left, her friend approached me and told me to text her because she liked me. That same night after the party, I texted her and we started talking. Everything was going smooth, we were getting along and everything. She seemed really interested, we talked every day during her vacation for around two weeks. She came back and we started to hang out and everything was perfect, she was really interested. She asked me out a couple of times, we would talk pretty much every day, she would hit me up all the time; even when I did not. We would laugh together at everything, nothing forced, everything came out smoothly. Everything was going perfect, until a week ago when I messed up during one of our dates. I got mad for the stupidest thing ever, she paid the bill at this restaurant without telling me and I got mad at her. I even gave her the silent treatment on our way back to her house (she got mad at me, even though she said she wasn’t, when she got out of my car she slammed the door). Since that day she has been distant, she even told me she didn’t want a relationship or anything like that. She has reached out back though, we even talk at least 3/4 times a week, but she has changed a lot since that day. (I am kind of her client, which makes it even harder since I have to see her every two weeks or so. For example I have to see her tomorrow) When she sees me it looks like she stills like me, she gets shy and stuff like that. I don’t know what to do, I am not chasing her though!! I stop hitting her up when she started acting distant. However, we still talk every 2 days or something. What should I do? I mean I really like her, but I don’t know if I should just let her go, or just go with the flow when she texts me and maybe ask her out again? Even though she told that she liked talking to me and hanging, but did not want a relationship. If I didn’t mess up and she started acting like that I would just let her go and just don’t think about, but since everything changed the same exact day I messed up, I am stuck in this dilemma. I would really appreciate if you could help me figure this out.

    Thank you so much

    • Alonzo

      Apologize for getting mad but don’t do it profusely. Don’t chase her (it sounds like you’re not doing that anyway), when you talk to her avoid drama and only focus on having a good time and lastly be there for her if she wants/needs to talk but have boundaries. Don’t be a “surrogate” boyfriend, just be her friend and focus on you. She may come around after some time or she may not.

      Hope this helps, let us know how it goes.

  • Saheed

    I think I agree with the penultimate paragraph in this write up and I’m gonna adopt that. This girl takes my call anytime, replies my texts, even agrees to my date invites yet she said she’s not interested. I find this really confusing. So obviously I’m gonna just agree to the fact that she’s that way cos I show her so much emotion and interest.

  • Adam W

    Heres the thing… if she is interested she will continue to talk. Its not “giving the cold shoulder” its PREVENTING YOURSELF FROM WASTING MORE TIME WITH SOMEBODY WHO ISNT INTO YOU. If you had a week to live.. would you waste it trying to talk to her?

    Also talking is for dates… txt, call, fb, and so on are only for planning dates.

  • Michael Fernandez

    Spot on Bro

  • Michael Fernandez

    Try harder dude. You have to ignite the spark…create opportunities to chat and be natural a jovial but don’t over do it…

  • Rafique702

    Spot on….the girl may have insecurity issues that may be a problem later.It makes no good sense to endlessly pursue someone.That is just too much hard work and it is draining.Its like worshiping an idol.I was once told that a good girl is hard to get ..its bull.This is how guys end up as orbitors working hard to boost someones ego.A guy needs to present his case confidently.Make eye contact if she is interested she will signal back or signal shyness…you man up and speak look out for signs , twirling of hair , exposing of the neck , smiling ..ask her her name first..if she is interested in you she will ask for yours and speak.If she gives one word answers , she is not interested.Never try to bribe a girl to like you, she will lose respect for you deep down.Dont make one girl your target..circulate.In my experience I approached this very beautiful girl (who I put on a pedestal) she slammed me execution style, with deadly precision and great immediacy….however a girl I had been interested in prior reached out to me and the rest became history (I never pursued her like a fool).When I saw the other girl I was in top form, happy and very confident..I could see her in my peripheral vision trying to get my attention…probably trying to turn me into some ‘useful” dork.I am sure she is completely confused she was holding all the cards and I just decided to stop playing the game.It is degrading to pursue a girl to no end.These girls all know what they are doing when they are wasting our time.In over pursuing someone you are blocking out other girls who deserve your attention……..

  • bran

    exactly what i needed to hear, thanks bro this instantly ended my heartbreak. confidence is key

  • Franix BW

    Whoever you are my brother you saved my life;emotions,soul,esteem,spirit.Youre a hero

  • Franix BW

    Thats whats happening to me right now,i think some women think that to show her youre serious you should now be the puppet,follow her endlessly,if u dont communicate first she will also not say anything,so today as i write this i have decided i am not going to text her,if i hit 3 days with nothing from her i delete her number

  • Franix BW

    bro,disappear from her life,completely

  • Eddy

    I feel like improving myself to the be the best of my ability after the two years bs ive been through she has been a part of my life just have to accept it and move on even though it is hard

  • La Leaf

    I started chatting with a girl through a dating site. Gave her my number. We texted for about an hour. Then she told me there where 2 other guys she’s also interested in. I sent her 1 hello text the next day. I WILL NOT initiate another contact with her.