There is value in being fearless and bold in the pursuit of your dreams. But for some guys, their dream is to date the most amazing girl they know to the point they don't know when to stop pursuing this dream.
So, let's have an honest look at when it may be time to give up.
How to Stop Pursuing Someone
Signs it May be Time to Stop Pursuing a Girl
In life, persistence often pays off. But when it comes to a guy pursuing a girl, it can be just plain confusing.
Danny wrote: There's this girl who I really like. But I have no idea whether she likes me or not. Sometimes she acts like she does, but other times she doesn't. I'm just confused.
Well, Danny - here are some obvious signs that it might be time to move on. But then keep reading for great tips on how to pursue a girl in a more appropriate way.
12 Signs to Move On
- When she obviously avoids you
- If you show an interest in her, but she seems to ignore you
- She acts one way around you, and another way around her friends
- No longer responds to your calls/texts/emails/snaps
- She asks you to stop
- Or tells you you're coming on too strong
- Your friends tell you to move on
- She talks to you about another guy she's interested in
- If she seems bothered, irritated or angry at you
- Your self-esteem starts to suffer for it
- You start to think you are going crazy about the whole situation
- If you're wondering if you should stop pursuing her, it's probably time.
Skye wrote: People need to use the common sense the good Lord gave them. When something in your head tells you not to do something, don't do it. You'll thank yourself later.
Roy wrote: Everyone I knew early on told us it would never work out, but I stayed with her to prove them wrong. In the end, it left me more broken and confused. Had I listened early on I would have saved myself a great deal of trouble and pain.
The most annoying guys are the ones who are convinced they have to be with this one particular girl, even though they might not even really know her. These guys are usually so strongly attracted to something about this girl, that he thinks he's in love before he even knows her.
Bottom line - if it is taking a lot of effort to get her interested and she is showing no indication she likes you, it is time to back off for both of your sakes.
How to Tell if a Girl Likes You
How Do Girls Show Signs of Interest?
This is one of those times in life where it’s best to just get the awkward part over with. Instead of trying to read “the signs,” go talk to her! Ask her how she feels, and be direct. Is that scary? Yes. Will it help you figure out what you need to know? Also yes.
Waiting around to see if you can interpret her interest level based on eye contact or emojis is a recipe for confusion, hurt feelings, anxiety, and a whoooooooole lot of time spent guessing that could have been spent dating!
There’s a catch, though: you have to accept her answer, whatever it is. If you approach her and ask if she’s interested in you or if she wants to go on a date, and she says “no,” you need to respect that. Don’t think that she said “no” and then continue reading into her body language, wondering if she was really playing hard to get. Take her at her word, give your feelings some time to recover from the rejection, and then start focusing on the good things you have going in your life.
Here are some things you could try saying, texting, or dming if you’re sure you’re ready to know, once and for all, if she’s interested:
“Hey ______, I really like talking to you, so I’m just gonna come right out and ask, would you go on a date with me?”
“I’m nervous, so I’m gonna spit it out—I like you. Do you like me back?”
“How would you feel about dating me? I think it would be really nice.”
“I like you. May I hold your hand?”
Don’t overthink it. You’ve got this.
So how can you pursue a girl in an appropriate way?
Relationships take time to develop. You can't force your way into someone else's life.
First, just seek to be friends.
Give yourself time to get to know her. But even more importantly, give her time to get to know you. You deserve someone who is interested in you, as well.
Second, don't act like your entire happiness depends on her realizing how wonderful you are.
That's a lot of pressure on a girl. She wants someone who is happy and confident in their own right.
Third, show her respect.
Most girls love to be pursued by a guy or viewed as someone special. Most of the time they appreciate a guy's persistence and confidence. But more than anything, a girl wants to be respected and valued. The more respect you can show as you pursue her, the better.
Fourth, give the chase a rest.
If you stop pursuing her, and give the chase a rest, you might find out the answer you're looking for. If she's interested in you, she may try to find out where you've been. She might actually become more interested in you, because you're not trying so hard. But you might also find that she doesn't care that you've stopped pursuing her. That's a good sign that you were pursuing the wrong girl. It's probably time to take a break, and hope that you can get to know each other as friends over time.
Fifth, relax.
Be relaxed in your pursuit of your dream girl. Don't act like your entire happiness depends on her realizing how wonderful you are. Keep in mind there are plenty of girls in the world, some of whom will find you attractive and well worth their time.
Sixth, don't change who you are.
I know you like this girl a lot, but you don’t want a relationship that is this much work. You don't want to pretend to be someone else just to stay in a relationship. That's exhausting. You deserve someone who likes you just the way you are! Create healthy boundaries for yourself. Boundaries are emotional markers that clearly define where one person ends, and the other person begins.
Healthy boundaries allow you to be free to be yourself, and not feel like your happiness is dependent on what another person thinks about you.
God created you just the way you are. You are uniquely you with your talents, sense of humor, interests, and style. God designed you with a purpose and has great plans for you. Don't let a girl ever make you question if you are good enough and if you should change.
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
Do you put yourself down all the time? Want to stop? Read this checklist of 10 ways to increase your self-esteem for a healthier self-image.
So i had a crush on this girl for a long time but never said anything..
And she never noticed me we never talked either..
Then one day my friend told her that i like her..she noticed for the first time..but then started ignoring me...
And when i pushed a bit she complained to her mother about me..but she herself said nothing..even now i have not talked to her..i still love her..when she noticed me it actually felt like we could work out..nicely..but did not happen . I still have a chance to make it happen...dont i?
Bro just be smoothe, it takes practice, and usually to say "love" someone should usually take at least a month in my opinion. If she's talking to her mom best be careful. Respect but acknowledge her. It also sounds like maybe you haven't quite reached out enough... try to hold a conversation don't ask to many questions if you feel she is being pressured to respond. Just talk to her like a normal person no different from anyone, like your mother for example. Try to make her smile then laugh. Ex: I bet you've had to put up with idiots like me all day huh? Or make fun of yourself a little. Never show too much emotion or reaction to anything, act like the hardcore player whose been there and done that
Sorry, no. You’re way of thinking is not heathy. Move on to someone that respects and wants to be with you.
fell in love with a co worker. been pursuing her for 3mos now. but in that short period of time i already cried a lot. she has a lot of personal problems. shes even restricted by her family to date. so i keep distance when were going out or if were just walking in the streets. she still talks about her ex when were together. im 22 and shes my first love. even if she rejected me many times before but i still keep on going. sometimes i cant help but feel that shes just accustomed to me being there for her. calls me if she needs something. but after that itll take time for her to reply to my messages. ive done so many decisions that harmed my work and myself. everything for her sake. not blaming her though. but a little appreciation would be nice. she shows affection sometimes. and hold i on to that. i am sane right now and i know that i need to stop. but if i see her again i know that ill think otherwise. shes like a drug thats killing me and im aware of it. i just cant stop
I fell in love with a client, she has MS which only manifests as fatigue. I was taking out and about in the community. We became friends and I started doing a few private jobs for her. I felt I could fix all her problems. I bottled the feelings and eventually it surfaced and I email a mushy email. She took offense and felt uncomfortable with me. She said that her previous relationship has masses her head up and she still healing from it. I haven't texted since and I lost her as a client. I have been sending her the odd gift probably once a month. I will send her some flowers near her birthday just stating friendship. I regret loosing her completely. I may visit in a few months, with some flowers and ask her how she is.
I guess I fear meeting her and her being angry.
I am trying to hard
Keep your distance. Make her miss you. Don’t chase her. Try to think abundance mentality. Good Luck
Maybe a stupid question/reply but I recently reached out to a girl I used to go to school with on messenger. She opened up somewhat and we had a pretty good rapport going. I felt good, couple days later I send her another funny video. No response from her. Idk if she's afraid, uninterested etc. Part of me wants to reach out again as I don't know enough about her and/or if she's waiting for me to continue communicating 🤔 Another part just wants to say whatever and forget her. Wish people would just be upfront to eliminate the guesswork in dating.
You're definitely a character Dominic, and you seem pretty laid back, if you haven't said too much/ spam, I'd suggest pursuing her ounce more just be relaxed and comforting when you do it, you can't go wrong with humor... everybody loves humor, and try to find out what gets her grind on... what makes her tick in a good way. See if she can open up to you. End the end the best advise I ever heard was be yourself, bc you are who you are, and I am who I am
I badly want to stop yet I still badly want to talk to her.
My feelings for her is like a disease disrupting my whole system.
I just adore this girl so much.
But she wont respond to my chats and even when I am talking to her I cant keep the conversation going cause I becoming conscious of everything so I forget all of the the things that I want to tell her and the things that I was planning to tell her and I just look at her face when she talks, look at her eyes, lips, nose, her imperfections. I know from the start that I will crash and burn and a lot have tried but they all failed but still I am hoping that someday, somehow my feelings will reach her.
They said that she was kind of weird.
But my God for me she's just perfect.
Tony will surely die.
Ciao.
First of all she is not perfect. I can sympathize however because that was like me several years ago. I thought the same way about a girl until she betrayed me in the worst way by seeing another guy. I began to look for her flaws and when I found there were many I moved on and found someone so much better and we are now married. You can do better. I speak from experience.
It happens to the best of us, but if you still want her I'd suggest self independence
It'll make you better who cares if she still don't work out you'll have bettered yourself further than you imagined. Every time requirement is different, but most will say self isolation from "chasing" girls for 60 to 90 days... if you do that you'll need a new hobby and past time, best to make it something productive such as working out, weightlifting running and whatever hobby interest you. Don't return to your old demons until you've become equipped with undying faith in self confidence/ worth/ independence/ and true inner strength... then you'll truly see your very world change before your eyes
I'm in a pickle, met a girl we got on really well, tells me she crazy about me and i her, couple weeks later shes on tinder and forgets about me, uses me for attention etc until ultimately we fall out. She made contact again apologizing for everything etc we become friends, i still have feeling for her, she meets a new guy and keeps him secret from me for a while, breaks up with him then gets back with her long term ex she has kids with, i came on abit strong as i really like this girl and ruined my chances, she still considers me one of her best friends and she is mine to but i cant shake this hurting feelings that i want to be with her and she doesnt want me, im doing my best to suppress it but it hurts alot.... i dont want to lose her as a friend as we get on really well and i love her company but this constant feeling of needing her is getting in the way.