What To Do When You Hate Yourself - 5 Tips

1. Do You Truly Hate Yourself?

Self-hate is a dark, black hole in our soul that can be easy to fall into, but difficult to get out of. Last week I wrote about some of the reasons why people hate themselves. I want to give you some things to do when you feel like you hate yourself and you say things like, "I hate myself, I'm no good, I'm so stupid, or I'm worthless."

The truth is you are NONE of those things. But it's easy to think you are, especially if you have been believing all these negative thoughts about yourself.

So, what do you do to climb out of the dark hole in your soul?

2. Decide what you want to change about yourself

Nobody can make you love you other than you! It's your responsibility to rearrange your thinking away from all the negative stuff you've been thinking and think more positive thoughts about yourself. It's often been said, "If I think better, I will act better. And if I act better, I will feel better."

Cody wrote: I've found that sometimes our greatest enemy is ourselves. And the way we think can hurt worse than any words. And when left with nothing but your own thoughts, and if those thoughts are negative, self-hate is born.

It takes a real effort to turn negative self-defeating thoughts into positive life-changing ones. But try it! And if you stick with it, you soon will see you're feeling better about yourself.

If you don't like something about yourself that you can actually change, start to do that today.

3. Figure out what you CAN change and do it!

IF you hate yourself, is there a specific thing that you hate? If you don't like something about yourself that you can actually change, start to do that today. Maybe you don't like your weight you can start eating properly and getting exercise TODAY! Get involved with a sport or a favorite hobby. You'll be amazed by how good it makes you feel to take care of yourself.

Don't obsess over what you think are your flaws. Work on what you can change and ask God to help you accept the rest. Create the healthy life you desire (and deserve!) some people get trapped living miserable lives, not realizing they have the ability to change their situation. Don't get stuck in that trap!

4. Build up your self-esteem by making a list of your 10 best qualities:

Can't think of 10? There are more than you think but try starting with one. For example, I am a loyal friend or I care about others, or I am in touch with how I feel, or I have a lot to offer my friends, or I am a good listener, etc.

Find out what your friends and family value about you. You might be surprised to find out what the people who love you see in you! As you begin to dwell on the good things you offer, your confidence will grow.

Others will take note of it because you will have made yourself more attractive.

Betsy wrote: Since I stood up for something, people started to respect me and I was able to find confidence in myself. You can't please everyone, so focus on making yourself proud before you expect anyone else to be proud of you.
Each day, find something to do that makes you feel proud of yourself. Discover the things you love, try new things, go to new places. Make some short-term and long-term goals.

Decide that you will never say the words, "I Hate Myself" ever again. Those words are toxic. Why hate yourself? When in reality there is a lot in you worth loving.

5. Use gratitude as a weapon against self-hatred

You will find people who dwell on the positive things in their life...things for which they are grateful, are usually much happier than those who don't.

Negative thoughts, mixed with worry, make a person miserable to live with.

So, if you are tired of hearing the same old, negative thoughts, make a daily list of the things you are grateful for, and you'll be surprised at how quickly your attitude begins to change.

Challenge yourself to reflect each day for just a minute or two about what you feel grateful for that day...maybe it was delicious pancakes for breakfast, a smile from a friend, nice weather, could be something as simple as the color of the grass, or a good grade on a quiz. It doesn't have to be what you know you should be thankful for, but something that you actually feel grateful for.

Remember God loves you

The most powerful way to overcome self-hate is to focus on God's love. After all, if God loves you, and He does with all of your faults and hurts, it should make it easier for us to accept ourselves. Let God change what He wants to change, and you'll feel much better about your life.

God made you very unique. And it's this uniqueness that makes you special.

Please stop hating someone God loves so much. YOU!!

Angie wrote: It's very easy to find reasons to believe I am of no value to anyone, or to God. But I am of value because God loves me, even if no one else does.

As you start believing in yourself more, you'll have more good days than bad. It's easy to find the negative, so look for the positive in each situation. And most importantly, keep your faith in God this will help lead you to the happiness you seek. Please stop hating someone God loves so much. YOU!!

Don't stay in that place of self-hate, it's going to take time to change what you think about yourself but it's possible.  Check out one of my other blogs about self-hate: Why Do You Hate Yourself.

And check out this blog to start to begin to change this part of your life: 6 Steps To Change Your Life.

Dawson McAllister
Dawson McAllister, also known as America's youth pastor, was an author, radio host, speaker, and founder of TheHopeLine. McAllister attended Bethel College in Minnesota for undergraduate work where he graduated in 1968, began graduate studies at Talbot School of Theology in California, and received an honorary doctorate from Biola University.
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432 comments on “What To Do When You Hate Yourself - 5 Tips”

  1. For the last 5 years I have started to go down really down my health and mental health I am now depressed on anti-depressants . I feel that I am a waste of space going nowhere I don't enjoy anything and I can't remember the last time I was happy,
    I hate feeling like I am a burden to my family and that they would be better off without me so then they would not be worried and stressed out because of me.
    When I try to be positive and think of the future all I see is a blank and unhappiness
    like a hole I keep falling down and can't get out of.

  2. i often feel useless worthless and like i wanna die but i think of the people that love and get cot up thinking should i do it should i not i dont want to hurt the pople i love but i cant stop feeling like crap

  3. I can't do anything right! I just wrote a huge long paragraph and deleted it by mistake. Just sums up the whole thing really. Lol
    I have hated myself as long as I can remember. I feel like I don't fit in anywhere. The person who said she feels constantly at war with the voice inside her own head is so correct. I fight with this voice all day long every day. I am constantly exhausted but I feel like that is from the depression and an escape from reality. I have constant panic and anxiety attacks. I want to run from everything. I feel that I don't complete or follow through with anything. I have been in two awful marriages full of abuse which have led to horrible childhoods for my two daughters. I can't stand anyone watching me do anything and I can't stand being interrupted which of course is a constant in life. I don't want to succeed because it's too much pressure to be constantly on my game but I don't want to fail either because everyone else will know that I am useless. I don't feel comfortable unless I am in drama, confusion or rushing or panic stricken. The list goes on and on and on. I have developed a way of constantly walking and pacing so I never actually finish anything or do anything. I can't be still. I try to please everyone and end up pleasing no one least of all myself. I get caught up in small details and loose sight of the big picture. I can barely function. I analyze everything to a minute detail. I know rationally that a lot of these behaviors come from things such as the abuse but some I have always had. It's so hard to explain but life is difficult. It's a battle every single minute. How I ever got 60 college credits I do not know. The sadness and depression are constant.

  4. I want to change but there is so much that had gone wrong. I'm doubtful about the future even though God already knows what is going to happen.
    Does anyone else feel this way?

  5. I am in love with a girl but she doesn't love me back. She is right who would date an ugly guy like me

    1. Sounds like a mean girl to me. Don't believe that lie. You are better than that. I bet you have many wonderful qualities. That girl doesn't deserve you.

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