What To Do When You Hate Yourself - 5 Tips

1. Do You Truly Hate Yourself?

Self-hate is a dark, black hole in our soul that can be easy to fall into, but difficult to get out of. Last week I wrote about some of the reasons why people hate themselves. I want to give you some things to do when you feel like you hate yourself and you say things like, "I hate myself, I'm no good, I'm so stupid, or I'm worthless."

The truth is you are NONE of those things. But it's easy to think you are, especially if you have been believing all these negative thoughts about yourself.

So, what do you do to climb out of the dark hole in your soul?

2. Decide what you want to change about yourself

Nobody can make you love you other than you! It's your responsibility to rearrange your thinking away from all the negative stuff you've been thinking and think more positive thoughts about yourself. It's often been said, "If I think better, I will act better. And if I act better, I will feel better."

Cody wrote: I've found that sometimes our greatest enemy is ourselves. And the way we think can hurt worse than any words. And when left with nothing but your own thoughts, and if those thoughts are negative, self-hate is born.

It takes a real effort to turn negative self-defeating thoughts into positive life-changing ones. But try it! And if you stick with it, you soon will see you're feeling better about yourself.

If you don't like something about yourself that you can actually change, start to do that today.

3. Figure out what you CAN change and do it!

IF you hate yourself, is there a specific thing that you hate? If you don't like something about yourself that you can actually change, start to do that today. Maybe you don't like your weight you can start eating properly and getting exercise TODAY! Get involved with a sport or a favorite hobby. You'll be amazed by how good it makes you feel to take care of yourself.

Don't obsess over what you think are your flaws. Work on what you can change and ask God to help you accept the rest. Create the healthy life you desire (and deserve!) some people get trapped living miserable lives, not realizing they have the ability to change their situation. Don't get stuck in that trap!

4. Build up your self-esteem by making a list of your 10 best qualities:

Can't think of 10? There are more than you think but try starting with one. For example, I am a loyal friend or I care about others, or I am in touch with how I feel, or I have a lot to offer my friends, or I am a good listener, etc.

Find out what your friends and family value about you. You might be surprised to find out what the people who love you see in you! As you begin to dwell on the good things you offer, your confidence will grow.

Others will take note of it because you will have made yourself more attractive.

Betsy wrote: Since I stood up for something, people started to respect me and I was able to find confidence in myself. You can't please everyone, so focus on making yourself proud before you expect anyone else to be proud of you.
Each day, find something to do that makes you feel proud of yourself. Discover the things you love, try new things, go to new places. Make some short-term and long-term goals.

Decide that you will never say the words, "I Hate Myself" ever again. Those words are toxic. Why hate yourself? When in reality there is a lot in you worth loving.

5. Use gratitude as a weapon against self-hatred

You will find people who dwell on the positive things in their life...things for which they are grateful, are usually much happier than those who don't.

Negative thoughts, mixed with worry, make a person miserable to live with.

So, if you are tired of hearing the same old, negative thoughts, make a daily list of the things you are grateful for, and you'll be surprised at how quickly your attitude begins to change.

Challenge yourself to reflect each day for just a minute or two about what you feel grateful for that day...maybe it was delicious pancakes for breakfast, a smile from a friend, nice weather, could be something as simple as the color of the grass, or a good grade on a quiz. It doesn't have to be what you know you should be thankful for, but something that you actually feel grateful for.

Remember God loves you

The most powerful way to overcome self-hate is to focus on God's love. After all, if God loves you, and He does with all of your faults and hurts, it should make it easier for us to accept ourselves. Let God change what He wants to change, and you'll feel much better about your life.

God made you very unique. And it's this uniqueness that makes you special.

Please stop hating someone God loves so much. YOU!!

Angie wrote: It's very easy to find reasons to believe I am of no value to anyone, or to God. But I am of value because God loves me, even if no one else does.

As you start believing in yourself more, you'll have more good days than bad. It's easy to find the negative, so look for the positive in each situation. And most importantly, keep your faith in God this will help lead you to the happiness you seek. Please stop hating someone God loves so much. YOU!!

Don't stay in that place of self-hate, it's going to take time to change what you think about yourself but it's possible.  Check out one of my other blogs about self-hate: Why Do You Hate Yourself.

And check out this blog to start to begin to change this part of your life: 6 Steps To Change Your Life.

Dawson McAllister
Dawson McAllister, also known as America's youth pastor, was an author, radio host, speaker, and founder of TheHopeLine. McAllister attended Bethel College in Minnesota for undergraduate work where he graduated in 1968, began graduate studies at Talbot School of Theology in California, and received an honorary doctorate from Biola University.
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432 comments on “What To Do When You Hate Yourself - 5 Tips”

  1. Hi, my name is Bella and even after reading this article I can't seem to figure myself out. I have so many bad qualities that I hate myself for. I am clumsy, loud, and selfish. These traits seem to follow me whenever I go! There are times where they wear me down so much that I consider self harm, running away, and other bad things. Though I have never committed to any of these decisions, I feel like they cross my mind a lot. I feel so stuck and unfixable. I have never brought this up to my parents because I feel ashamed of the way I am and I think they will be too. They are both psychologists and I know they have heard much worse cases than I am going through. I am selfish enough the way I am and just don't want to disappoint them. My parents opinion means a lot to me and I don't want to mess that up. Thanks for anyone who reads this message and I will appreciate any sort of response. Thank you for your time.

  2. I am a child from happy family. My friends always say that i have happy life and happy family. Actually, it seems I don't have problem in my life but still I hate myself. I don't know why.
    It seems that people around me are better than me. I feel like left alone in the world even I tried to change myself but get off from the track. I don't know why I can't be perfect like other people. Many people reject me because of my behaviors.
    I know God does love us because God gives this problem for becoming a person more stronger...
    Just I can't live in this world. I always think that I wanna commit suicide , I don't want to live in this world. It seems I have serious mental illness.. But just I want to become like other people. I always judge myself among them.

  3. Its a bit late to put comments under this post. But I want to take it into account as for numerous other things I've collected these days to help me make a fresh start, to change everything. So here I am writing, that I am willing to change, yet I've tried, countless times, but I've just tried, with no provisions. A friend of mine from Austin told me, if Im about to get into doing something I've never tried successfully, or tried and failed, I might better join in a community of people that do that stuff and that they know about it a thing or two, so that I could keep up, with help from that community, that if I fail, I get help to start again.
    One of the things I've tried to change about myself was my weight. For many years, since I was just a kid, but nearly a fat kid, I had this idea try to look thiner and lighter. To this day I've tried many diets, I've been in gym countless times to lose that amount of weight that would change my look. Al though I've got it to somewhere, but not the result I've always dreamt about. And that built the self hatred in me. Because I was never able to look they way I've always wanted to. So many people tried their shot to lose weight, and that one shot got them to their dream fit body, and I just sat there watched them.
    This dream almost covers every aspect of my life. Trying to achieve it affected my career, my personal life, the way people look at me. Almost no one takes me seriously when I say I want to change something since I failed too much in my diets , they think its just another one of those false shouts just to get attention.
    I want to change now, more than any time in my life. But I still wonder how start that I would never fail again.
    This article showed me some spark, wonder if its temporary or not. But either way it gave me hope. I want to try to put this in good use.
    Thank you for the article.

  4. My entire family hates me, I've destroyed my childhood home by bringing pets in here when my mom died 4 years ago. So now nobody comes to visit and they ignore my calls or texts. I wish I had the money to restore the house but it would be so much easier to not feel.

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