What To Do When You Hate Yourself - 5 Tips

1. Do You Truly Hate Yourself?

Self-hate is a dark, black hole in our soul that can be easy to fall into, but difficult to get out of. Last week I wrote about some of the reasons why people hate themselves. I want to give you some things to do when you feel like you hate yourself and you say things like, "I hate myself, I'm no good, I'm so stupid, or I'm worthless."

The truth is you are NONE of those things. But it's easy to think you are, especially if you have been believing all these negative thoughts about yourself.

So, what do you do to climb out of the dark hole in your soul?

2. Decide what you want to change about yourself

Nobody can make you love you other than you! It's your responsibility to rearrange your thinking away from all the negative stuff you've been thinking and think more positive thoughts about yourself. It's often been said, "If I think better, I will act better. And if I act better, I will feel better."

Cody wrote: I've found that sometimes our greatest enemy is ourselves. And the way we think can hurt worse than any words. And when left with nothing but your own thoughts, and if those thoughts are negative, self-hate is born.

It takes a real effort to turn negative self-defeating thoughts into positive life-changing ones. But try it! And if you stick with it, you soon will see you're feeling better about yourself.

If you don't like something about yourself that you can actually change, start to do that today.

3. Figure out what you CAN change and do it!

IF you hate yourself, is there a specific thing that you hate? If you don't like something about yourself that you can actually change, start to do that today. Maybe you don't like your weight you can start eating properly and getting exercise TODAY! Get involved with a sport or a favorite hobby. You'll be amazed by how good it makes you feel to take care of yourself.

Don't obsess over what you think are your flaws. Work on what you can change and ask God to help you accept the rest. Create the healthy life you desire (and deserve!) some people get trapped living miserable lives, not realizing they have the ability to change their situation. Don't get stuck in that trap!

4. Build up your self-esteem by making a list of your 10 best qualities:

Can't think of 10? There are more than you think but try starting with one. For example, I am a loyal friend or I care about others, or I am in touch with how I feel, or I have a lot to offer my friends, or I am a good listener, etc.

Find out what your friends and family value about you. You might be surprised to find out what the people who love you see in you! As you begin to dwell on the good things you offer, your confidence will grow.

Others will take note of it because you will have made yourself more attractive.

Betsy wrote: Since I stood up for something, people started to respect me and I was able to find confidence in myself. You can't please everyone, so focus on making yourself proud before you expect anyone else to be proud of you.
Each day, find something to do that makes you feel proud of yourself. Discover the things you love, try new things, go to new places. Make some short-term and long-term goals.

Decide that you will never say the words, "I Hate Myself" ever again. Those words are toxic. Why hate yourself? When in reality there is a lot in you worth loving.

5. Use gratitude as a weapon against self-hatred

You will find people who dwell on the positive things in their life...things for which they are grateful, are usually much happier than those who don't.

Negative thoughts, mixed with worry, make a person miserable to live with.

So, if you are tired of hearing the same old, negative thoughts, make a daily list of the things you are grateful for, and you'll be surprised at how quickly your attitude begins to change.

Challenge yourself to reflect each day for just a minute or two about what you feel grateful for that day...maybe it was delicious pancakes for breakfast, a smile from a friend, nice weather, could be something as simple as the color of the grass, or a good grade on a quiz. It doesn't have to be what you know you should be thankful for, but something that you actually feel grateful for.

Remember God loves you

The most powerful way to overcome self-hate is to focus on God's love. After all, if God loves you, and He does with all of your faults and hurts, it should make it easier for us to accept ourselves. Let God change what He wants to change, and you'll feel much better about your life.

God made you very unique. And it's this uniqueness that makes you special.

Please stop hating someone God loves so much. YOU!!

Angie wrote: It's very easy to find reasons to believe I am of no value to anyone, or to God. But I am of value because God loves me, even if no one else does.

As you start believing in yourself more, you'll have more good days than bad. It's easy to find the negative, so look for the positive in each situation. And most importantly, keep your faith in God this will help lead you to the happiness you seek. Please stop hating someone God loves so much. YOU!!

Don't stay in that place of self-hate, it's going to take time to change what you think about yourself but it's possible.  Check out one of my other blogs about self-hate: Why Do You Hate Yourself.

And check out this blog to start to begin to change this part of your life: 6 Steps To Change Your Life.

Dawson McAllister
Dawson McAllister, also known as America's youth pastor, was an author, radio host, speaker, and founder of TheHopeLine. McAllister attended Bethel College in Minnesota for undergraduate work where he graduated in 1968, began graduate studies at Talbot School of Theology in California, and received an honorary doctorate from Biola University.
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432 comments on “What To Do When You Hate Yourself - 5 Tips”

  1. It was great for me until the point about god. I'd like to read more from this site, but does it focus heavily on god? If it does, this might not be the site for me.

  2. I don't think God is real anymore. If he is he doesn't think I'm real because he just doesn't seem to care about my pain. Everyday I hope is my last. Where is my love? Who is the person for me? Life sucks and I'm just waiting to die. I'm just a burden to my family and the few friends I have probably think I'm too needy. I don't ask for much, just one tiny sign that someone, anyone loves me or cares about me. Just a simple text saying "hello" or "how are you" would be enough to give me hope. But it never comes. If God really cared and was all powerful he could surely influence just one person I know to say "hi" when I really needed it. Just freaking "hi" or something. I'm tired of being alone. I'm tired of feeling worthless. I'm just tired. If something doesn't happen soon I've been thinking of killing myself.

    1. I'm sorry you feel alone and worthless. I've been through those emotions too. Still deal with them, from time to time. For me, it's usually because I've forgotten who I am in Christ. I take my eyes off Him and start focusing on myself. But He is real and He is there. The Bible says, "Draw near to God and He will draw near to you." Find a church that preaches Jesus as the only way to heaven and ask for prayer. Please know you are not alone. And by they way, hi. Hugs. <3

  3. I try my hardest to ensure I'm kind to others to make sure that they feel like they can trust me and that I'm there when they need someone. I feel that I'm kind to other but it just never good enough, I suppose helping others out is a way of me try to escape my own feeling, I never want anyone to feel the way I do about myself, I never want anyone to contemplate if their life in this world is even worth living. This place this world I live in is a ticking time bomb waiting to explode. I'm never good enough, I'm ugly, Iworry too much, I'm annoying. I'm this I'm that. I'm I'm just alone and trapped in this unhappiness and I can't get out. Why me ? I try so hard to do the right thing to be kind to be helpful to be caring and what do I get?! A reflection I dispise/hate and a mind I can't escape.

  4. I try my hardest to ensure I'm kind to others to make sure that they feel like they can trust me and that I'm there when they need someone. I feel that I'm kind to other but it just never good enough, I suppose helping others out is a way of me try to escape my own feeling, I never want anyone to feel the way I do about myself, I never want anyone to contemplate if their life in this world is even worth living. This place this world I live in is a ticking time bomb waiting to explode. I'm never good enough, I'm ugly, Iworry too much, I'm annoying. I'm this I'm that. I'm I'm just alone and trapped in this unhappiness and I can't get out. Why me ? I try so hard to do the right thing to be kind to be helpful to be caring and what do I get?! A reflection I dispise/hate and a mind I can't escape.

  5. yes god love me even win i sins i still repent even win it hard to win i repent god make me feel like not alone this would .

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