Do You Wonder Why You Hate Yourself Even When Others Like You?
It's so tragic to hear someone say I hate myself. But down deep, many people do. Do you hate yourself? It seems there are so many things in this world that attack our self-esteem and sense of worth. When you hate your life and yourself, it feels like you're in your own personal jail, full of self-loathing, desperately wanting to get out, but not believing they can.
Can You Relate to Caroline?
Others may think you are just crying out for attention. But the feelings are very real. You are miserable because of how you feel about yourself, even if it sounds exaggerated or overly dramatic. I believe you.
Caroline described her self-hatred like this: I hated myself because I thought I wasn't good enough to be in this world. I thought I was ugly, stupid, and weird. I wished I could have been someone else.
So why do people hate themselves?
We took a poll and asked what reasons you might have to hate yourself. The majority of people said it was something about their appearance, followed closely by I didn't feel loved, and then I failed at a relationship. Each of these could be their own articles.
Blame Ourselves When Bad Things Happen
When bad things happen, we often blame ourselves. It's easy to let this blame turn into self-hatred and suck the very life out of us. This can leave us depleted of any kind of self-worth or love. When bad things happen, the worst thing you can do is spiral down into self-pity.
Sometimes self-hate is emotional exhaustion from the blame game. It's important to remember that painful, challenging, and hard times are going to happen. Sometimes you just need to give yourself a break and get some rest. You will look much better to yourself when you get some rest and forgive yourself for any mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes.
Rejection or Abandonment
Everyone will experience rejection of some sort. It's normal. But it's difficult. Not everybody is going to love you or accept you.
But it doesn't mean you're a bad person, and that you should hate yourself because of it.
Tom wrote: I used to live consumed with thoughts about what everybody else was thinking about me. I felt like people were constantly rejecting me. All the worst things came to mind, even though there was no way of actually knowing what people were thinking. I had to quit, or else I'd go crazy.
Sometimes when people experience rejection or abandonment, they turn the responsibility onto themselves, as if they are the ones who caused the pain. Don't let what other people think about you determine what you think of yourself. The freedom you experience when you let go of this burden like Tom did, will give you great joy. He's right, it's not worth going crazy over something you really can't control.
Negative Self-Talk
Thinking poorly about yourself is kind of like self-rejection. You see something about yourself that you think is stupid or ugly and you think criticizing yourself about it will somehow make it go away. It won't. It will actually make it worse. A lot of people feel ugly. Lazy. Inadequate. It's like the whole human race suffers from deep, low self-esteem.
Mona wrote: I hate who I've become. I know there is a hardworking, honest, skinny person inside me somewhere, but most of the time I think about how far to the negative I've come, then get even angrier at myself for not working harder to become the person I know I can be.
The Fight Against Self-Hate
The fight against self-hate is an on-going battle in all of us. Some struggle with it more than others, to the point of depression and suicidal thoughts. But it seems to always be there working in the shadows, waiting to pounce on us, and take us down. One thought that has helped me in this struggle is God's love for me.
I ask myself, "Why should I hate someone God loves so much? Why should I slap Him across the face? He's the one who made me, and He did it for a very special reason." There is no one else in the whole world who is just like you or me. Isn't that incredible? That person, YOU, is worth loving.
So how do you climb out of the dark hole of self-hate? Check out 5 Things to Think or Do When You Hate Yourself.
I hate myself. I just was pampered, and now I feel depressed. I am not worthy to be here.
I feel like nobody likes me the way I am!
I really hate my life.I have always been in controlling relationships and it seems it doesn't get any better.I'm always walking on egg shells to please him,he is always accusing me and the list goes on.I've done nothing but cry and wonder what I've done to have a life like this...
I hated myself ever sense i was nine but i kept on going dealing with the pain and sadness but when i saw the famous Ann Miller . she told me that it doesn't madder if you did something wrong it just matters if you have love with family friends then the past wont bother you and just one thing if you believe in me god and happiness the you will be OK . Ever since the i listen to her and now you just have to get through life and one suggest en don't ever give up keep trying and believe
Everyday if I'm at school or if I'm at home I'm always getting beat up, bullied and hated on I feel so unloved and uncared for its been like this since kindergarden i hate myself and everything about me I wonder why am I special why am I alive I want to kill myself I have always been like this and I can't figure out why I don't know why I should be living if I ever find anyone that loves me ill die from a heart attack
Trysten, Please know that you are loved and we care for you. TheHopeLine is always here for you. Please call or chat with one of our HopeCoaches at 800.394.4673 or to chat go to http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp. Never, never give up on yourself.
I feel so empty inside I try every thing I can to keep the man I love. I dont want to see him happy with anybody because he never gave any attention so I just feel like I hate myself because I feel like its me I try my hardest to keep him but I can't .............
Please don't say this. My heart hurts for you . You are loved and special. Are you being hurt in your own home? If so please tell someone. I know it's confusing but you need to feel safe.
Hey Trysten.. I do already like you. Do not kill yourself please. World is much different than it seems to be. How old are you? Those who cannot appreciate your existence are idiots. Yes even if those are your parents. Most people have messed up values especially in our materialistic society. They are simply blind. No one is perfect. You are not perfect either. There are many things you will have to work on this life and change yourself. But that doesnt mean that you have no value and that you shouldnt be respected. Thats nonsense.
If you only knew how precious you are to god, my brother went through the same thing, i was a bit stronger so I could handle my bullies, I would try to protect him as much as I could. We lost our mother when he was born, my father blamed my brother for her death and hated him therefore abused him, physically, sexually and mentally both of us, he married a woman who was equally abuse but not sexually abusive. We always felt no body could or would love us. I thought god hated us. But now I am grown and a born again christian, my poor brother long dead. I have seen changes in my self and have felt god's love and now I understand how much he loves us. Remember John the Baptist? He lived a life of a vagabond, living in cave he , eating locusts wearing animal skins was considered a crazy lunatic, anti social out cast. But did you know that even Jesus said " there has never been a prophet or shall never be one like John the Baptist" I bet you he felt like you and me. Just remember dear one that those who are god's children, the world and satan will hate. He will make our lives on earth a living hell. Because this is not our home we are sojourners here on this earth, we don't belong to this world there fore the world won't recognize as one of it's own. Be happy and glad that you are not part of this world. Jesus love those who were lowly, and humble, those who were considered outcasts. Jehovah used sinners and out casts for his glory and purpose and were even part of Christ's family lineage.. like Hagar the madam harlot one of Jesus's ancestors, Ruth the pagan moabites who converted later. David who committed adultery, and murder.. Moses who killed a guard in egypt, and had to run and hide the desert for 40 years, before Jehovah used him greatly. . the 12 apostles were bullied, imprisoned, run out of towns. Boiled in oil, cut in half, be headed, hung upside down on a cross. etc... dear friend you see being in Christ and belong to him will set the enemy on you and the world will hate us and despise us . it is not easy to say because sometimes I suffer times of self hate and self loathing, but I turn immediately to god's word for a shaking up to his powerful words of encouragement and then I fast and pray that has been my deliverance from self destruction and self pity. I wish I knew you to help you and encourage you and to tell you that you are so important to god ... you have a purpose even if it is to use that suffering you have experienced to help others..I am glad to have had this experience of pain in order to understand others with the same sufferings to be able to help what I have learned through the precious word of god through the holy spirit. We have to endure and pray every night and morning as you rise never stopping. Day by day take a day at a time. Sometimes I think I become so overwhelmed with my emotions of worthlessness and self hate. That I have to go to my room pick up word of god and a book titled " God's transforming power" it helps me when I am feeling bad about myself. So take it a day at a time. It is crucial that you stay on the word of Jesus. Keep your eyes on him and he will carry you through each day. I do this myself.. The enemy attacks more when he sees how much you are growing in christ and he knows your weakness, it is a battle but through Christ anything is possible in your faith and hope that we will be with him soon, and receiving the crown of glory if we just run the race preserving and even if you fail and fall get up and do not give up or that is where our reward shall be. It is the race for our souls.. This world shall pass but god's love never passes God is always the same never changing never failing, always l so please do not lose hope. Your soul is sooooo preciouse to god..
I have a son who has suffered bullying for past six months and it breaks my heart people who bully are weak alone only tough together do not be afraid of anyone stand tall tell school my son has and the situation is getting dealt with and I won't stop until it gets sorted everyone should be valued the same and everyone of us deserves to be loved 😉
Trysten I went thru bullying years ago...even by the teacher who wanted to be in with the cool kids. I cried every day, but we didn't consider suicide much back then. Don't let these people define you, God does love you more than you can imagine. You sound like you may be depressed and there's no shame in talking to a therapist or going on medication if needed. God gave his children the intelligence to become doctors and therapists. If you do this make sure it's someone you're comfortable with...sometimes you have to go to a few to find that. God got me through...He will do the same for you. God bless and don't give up...He made you special!
Hi Trysten I am sorry for what you are going through right now, I've had to deal with bullies at school and at home so I do understand your pain. Please consider a free online counselling service, just Google it and see what comes up. If you have a trusted friend or teacher who you could turn to for advice. I don't want you to die, those people who are hurting you will feel no remorse or guilt if you do that to yourself, that's how wicked and cruel people are. Live and make something of your life.
Oh my god. Don't be sad. I'm also sad I'm I'm 11 years old. I'm almost 12. You are an awesome person and you should continue your life. Funny thing. I have s boyfriend whose name is Tristan( I don't think he loves me. He kisses one of my friends on the cheek. He told my friend that he didn't know why he was dating me and I wasn't pritty and I had pimples). You shouldn't kill your self( p.s I feel the same way and I'm a girl). Please I hate it when people die.😪😪😢😢. Please don't die.