Do You Wonder Why You Hate Yourself Even When Others Like You?
It's so tragic to hear someone say I hate myself. But down deep, many people do. Do you hate yourself? It seems there are so many things in this world that attack our self-esteem and sense of worth. When you hate your life and yourself, it feels like you're in your own personal jail, full of self-loathing, desperately wanting to get out, but not believing they can.
Can You Relate to Caroline?
Others may think you are just crying out for attention. But the feelings are very real. You are miserable because of how you feel about yourself, even if it sounds exaggerated or overly dramatic. I believe you.
Caroline described her self-hatred like this: I hated myself because I thought I wasn't good enough to be in this world. I thought I was ugly, stupid, and weird. I wished I could have been someone else.
So why do people hate themselves?
We took a poll and asked what reasons you might have to hate yourself. The majority of people said it was something about their appearance, followed closely by I didn't feel loved, and then I failed at a relationship. Each of these could be their own articles.
Blame Ourselves When Bad Things Happen
When bad things happen, we often blame ourselves. It's easy to let this blame turn into self-hatred and suck the very life out of us. This can leave us depleted of any kind of self-worth or love. When bad things happen, the worst thing you can do is spiral down into self-pity.
Sometimes self-hate is emotional exhaustion from the blame game. It's important to remember that painful, challenging, and hard times are going to happen. Sometimes you just need to give yourself a break and get some rest. You will look much better to yourself when you get some rest and forgive yourself for any mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes.
Rejection or Abandonment
Everyone will experience rejection of some sort. It's normal. But it's difficult. Not everybody is going to love you or accept you.
But it doesn't mean you're a bad person, and that you should hate yourself because of it.
Tom wrote: I used to live consumed with thoughts about what everybody else was thinking about me. I felt like people were constantly rejecting me. All the worst things came to mind, even though there was no way of actually knowing what people were thinking. I had to quit, or else I'd go crazy.
Sometimes when people experience rejection or abandonment, they turn the responsibility onto themselves, as if they are the ones who caused the pain. Don't let what other people think about you determine what you think of yourself. The freedom you experience when you let go of this burden like Tom did, will give you great joy. He's right, it's not worth going crazy over something you really can't control.
Negative Self-Talk
Thinking poorly about yourself is kind of like self-rejection. You see something about yourself that you think is stupid or ugly and you think criticizing yourself about it will somehow make it go away. It won't. It will actually make it worse. A lot of people feel ugly. Lazy. Inadequate. It's like the whole human race suffers from deep, low self-esteem.
Mona wrote: I hate who I've become. I know there is a hardworking, honest, skinny person inside me somewhere, but most of the time I think about how far to the negative I've come, then get even angrier at myself for not working harder to become the person I know I can be.
The Fight Against Self-Hate
The fight against self-hate is an on-going battle in all of us. Some struggle with it more than others, to the point of depression and suicidal thoughts. But it seems to always be there working in the shadows, waiting to pounce on us, and take us down. One thought that has helped me in this struggle is God's love for me.
I ask myself, "Why should I hate someone God loves so much? Why should I slap Him across the face? He's the one who made me, and He did it for a very special reason." There is no one else in the whole world who is just like you or me. Isn't that incredible? That person, YOU, is worth loving.
So how do you climb out of the dark hole of self-hate? Check out 5 Things to Think or Do When You Hate Yourself.
I can really relate to this article...
I absolutely hate myself. I'm 16 years old and the past couple of years I've started to hate myself more and more every single day. I've thought about commiting suicide more than once, but even for that I'm too much of a coward.
When I was a kid I didn't used to hate myself, but everyone else did. I got completely ignored in school by my classmates and out of school I barely had any friends.
Now people do like me and hang out with me in school, but deep inside I still hate every single piece of me.
I have had a few boyfriends, but I kept breaking up with them because I was too scared that someday I would somehow hurt them and I just didn't want to ruin their lives.
I keep hiding my self-loathe from the rest of the world. On the outside I look like a happy little girl who loves to make music and is very polite and kind to other people.
But when I get home, that's when the drama starts and I start hating myself more and more. For some reason I keep taking all of the anger I have towards myself out on her and I hate myself for it! I'm honestly a little brat, who doesn't know how to respect her own mother and believe me in her eyes I'm the worst daughter in the whole wide world. She even tells me I look like my father, who used to abuse me and once she's said those things she just acts like she never tried to hurt me.
I absolutely hate myself and I wanna be a better person, but I don't know how. Even typing it out here makes me feel worse about myself.
But I have to get it out of my system and since I have absolutely no one to talk to about this, without them thinking I wanna get loads of attention, I thought that this might help... But I'm not so sure.
I wish someone could help me, but I know that there's nobody out there who'd even think about helping me.
Sincerely,
A horrible person
Dear Anonymous,
I want you to know that you are not alone. As I was reading these comments, I saw yours and felt somewhat relating to your situation. Please know that your life will not always be this way! One of my favorite quotes is "Think of all the beauty around you and be happy." -Anne Frank. I'm sure you can count some of the things in your life that make you smile or feel alright---not perfect...but alright. Just try to focus on not all the misery around you, but of the good things still there. That's the start of being a better person. Grow closer to your friends, and maybe try sharing how you feel. You've already taken a step by sharing here--on a public website. I think that it is fortunate when someone has friends. I don't have any, which is embarrassing to say as a sixteen-year-old girl.But I'm trying really, so hard not to define myself with silly things like that. And you should too. I really believe in your ability to help yourself! 🙂 I don't know if you are a Christian, but I'm praying for you.. 🙂
Sincerely,
Someone who thinks you are strong enough!!
hmmm.what exactly are people looking for by admitting what they know the truth about themselves?
we mess up on purpose because we care more for others than ourselves and because we feel we do not deserve anything of true value in life we take on the persona of a charles atlas icon
."the world on his shoulders." because we can make everybody elses problems solved ,but dare not approach our own.yet still falsely we believe we
I have hated my self for a long time my mom abusive boyfriend has raised me ever since I was little to be a fighting machine I almost killed my friend when I was 7 he moved away I was lonely for a while after that I couldn't make friends we'll I live an abusive home and found out my real father left my mother cause of me ... I am bullied at school and no one seems to care about me ... I wish I wasn't here and I hate me and my life I have attempted suicide 2 times but failed because someone had stopped me I have been to a mental asylum for cutting my self depression suicidal thoughts and a lot more , and I'm tired of it this new medication they have put me on hurts me but they won't take me off ! I still want to die ! I don't belong here ! Please someone help
I'm just an idiot
I've began to notice I've been developing signs of depression, which makes me hate myself even more. I feel like my family is unhappy with me in their family, I'm always crying because my feelings have been hurt or I'm just mad at myself for something. it's been an awful feeling and my parents seem to have no consideration for how I've actually been feeling. They just stand there and call ME rude, inconsiderate, selfish, ungrateful, a piece of work right in front of my face. They seem to not understand that these things kill me inside, hating myself because I'm not a good enough child. I'm only 15. The only time I can make them proud is when I play sports. That's all. I don't make phenomenal grades, I annoy them, I'm "needy", I'm always in their way. It seems to secretly be all about them. They always give the same old we love you speech. I think it's bullshit they're saying because they're my parents. I know they do love me, maybe. But it doesn't seem like it. You don't show love by letting me shop, or give me things I want. Seems that's what they think it is. I feel empty. I always feel my friends hate me. I'm always fighting with my sister. Its all bullshit and I'm starting to develop these feelings, evaluating my parents words of what they think of me and it makes me HATE MYSELF.
i just dont like me. every time im out with my family i screw something up.i just hate me... i know that im soo weird that no one ever talks to me other then 5 friends at school.i just dont like me