Do You Wonder Why You Hate Yourself Even When Others Like You?
It's so tragic to hear someone say I hate myself. But down deep, many people do. Do you hate yourself? It seems there are so many things in this world that attack our self-esteem and sense of worth. When you hate your life and yourself, it feels like you're in your own personal jail, full of self-loathing, desperately wanting to get out, but not believing they can.
Can You Relate to Caroline?
Others may think you are just crying out for attention. But the feelings are very real. You are miserable because of how you feel about yourself, even if it sounds exaggerated or overly dramatic. I believe you.
Caroline described her self-hatred like this: I hated myself because I thought I wasn't good enough to be in this world. I thought I was ugly, stupid, and weird. I wished I could have been someone else.
So why do people hate themselves?
We took a poll and asked what reasons you might have to hate yourself. The majority of people said it was something about their appearance, followed closely by I didn't feel loved, and then I failed at a relationship. Each of these could be their own articles.
Blame Ourselves When Bad Things Happen
When bad things happen, we often blame ourselves. It's easy to let this blame turn into self-hatred and suck the very life out of us. This can leave us depleted of any kind of self-worth or love. When bad things happen, the worst thing you can do is spiral down into self-pity.
Sometimes self-hate is emotional exhaustion from the blame game. It's important to remember that painful, challenging, and hard times are going to happen. Sometimes you just need to give yourself a break and get some rest. You will look much better to yourself when you get some rest and forgive yourself for any mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes.
Rejection or Abandonment
Everyone will experience rejection of some sort. It's normal. But it's difficult. Not everybody is going to love you or accept you.
But it doesn't mean you're a bad person, and that you should hate yourself because of it.
Tom wrote: I used to live consumed with thoughts about what everybody else was thinking about me. I felt like people were constantly rejecting me. All the worst things came to mind, even though there was no way of actually knowing what people were thinking. I had to quit, or else I'd go crazy.
Sometimes when people experience rejection or abandonment, they turn the responsibility onto themselves, as if they are the ones who caused the pain. Don't let what other people think about you determine what you think of yourself. The freedom you experience when you let go of this burden like Tom did, will give you great joy. He's right, it's not worth going crazy over something you really can't control.
Negative Self-Talk
Thinking poorly about yourself is kind of like self-rejection. You see something about yourself that you think is stupid or ugly and you think criticizing yourself about it will somehow make it go away. It won't. It will actually make it worse. A lot of people feel ugly. Lazy. Inadequate. It's like the whole human race suffers from deep, low self-esteem.
Mona wrote: I hate who I've become. I know there is a hardworking, honest, skinny person inside me somewhere, but most of the time I think about how far to the negative I've come, then get even angrier at myself for not working harder to become the person I know I can be.
The Fight Against Self-Hate
The fight against self-hate is an on-going battle in all of us. Some struggle with it more than others, to the point of depression and suicidal thoughts. But it seems to always be there working in the shadows, waiting to pounce on us, and take us down. One thought that has helped me in this struggle is God's love for me.
I ask myself, "Why should I hate someone God loves so much? Why should I slap Him across the face? He's the one who made me, and He did it for a very special reason." There is no one else in the whole world who is just like you or me. Isn't that incredible? That person, YOU, is worth loving.
So how do you climb out of the dark hole of self-hate? Check out 5 Things to Think or Do When You Hate Yourself.
Well, I don't feel happy in my life. I have an incredibly low self esteem, I always care for other people. My Mom and Dad both left me when I was 3 years old, only to be brought in by my parents Denise and Jim; who had 3 other kids, my sister Mallorie and I have been housed by them for the last 10 years and it's been an emotional struggle for me. Here's my story, I used to be bullied like no tomorrow, I was picked on for my issues and people badgered me constantly about it. My Mom and Dad have an intense favoritism of my older brother, my Grandma favors my cousin Austin because I'm an atheist and he's a "goody two shoes Christian who gets his ass up to Church every Sunday", but I lost all faith by the time I was 9 years old, I realized deep down in this world there probably is no God and I've sort of accepted that fact. The next two years went by, I still had issues, I was still picked on. In the 6th grade, oh boy that was my worst. My issues soared more than ever, I had girls who didn't reciprocate the same feelings, I had people pick on me for my anger issues, and by May, I was expelled after going to an alternative school. I transferred to another school, only to be picked on again, being called "herpes face" because of my bad acne, I didn't care anymore, the year went by, and yeah. The 8th grade, was my breaking point; I pushed my Mom into a staircase, and I still constantly live to that emotional torment, my girlfriend left me around 9 days after that because she was scared; I was at my edge, I was attempting suicide, I began smoking cigarettes, and pot. My Grandma didn't want me at her Christmas day event with everyone if I was getting suspended from school and I felt rejected until my Mom said something that I should go and no one deserves to be "alone during Christmas; especially your own family". I then had another girlfriend who left me sighting "differences" when really she became a lesbian.. These months went by, during the summer I thought of suicide, but I could never do it. My friends Gavin and David would talk me out of it a lot. In August, school came back, I was so unhappy, I had girls call me attractive who hated my guts three years ago. But then I met a girl who is the light of my life, Elysha. I lover her a lot and I asked her out eventually, she said yes. We've been dating for a bit and she's an amazing girlfriend who I love more than anything and anyone; she's accepted my mistakes and this time reciprocates the same feelings. I also began running more and trying to ride my bike, I feel somewhat happier in my life but I can't quite get rid of the torment from my past.
I hate myself because Im not even special... I feel worthless. I don't even know why God put me here. Compared to the other girls at school, I'm garbage. And I know comparing yourself is a bad thing to do, but I can't stop. Their all so pretty and atheltic, but I have pimples and messy curly hair, and I can't run without getting winded. I suck at every sport Ive ever played. The teachers hate me, because I'm a liar. I dug my own hole. And I can't get out. No one will help me in real life. My mom, teachers, friends, they just don't get it..
It just feels like itd be easier to die than live with this self loathing.
God put you here because He knows you are strong enough to live life and overcome. He also knows exactly your struggles and just how hard it is for you sometimes, or maybe all of the time. But He loves you, so much. No matter what you do, what you see yourself as, God will never stop loving you. And He wants you to remember that you are worth it all in His eyes.
Physical imperfections don't define you. Perfection doesn't define those other girls. Beating yourself down about this only makes it harder to overcome. I've learned it time and time again. All you can do is just pray. Pray to overcome. I know it's silly. But the only one who can handle this perfectly is God. I know how this feels. I try to change myself, starve myself, abuse myself with words, but what is the real answer? Nothing. My ways never worked, because I thought I had to change myself to solve it. The real answer is to accept that you are you....and you are good enough.
Pretty tough to do. I'm still trying too, so you're not alone in this. Just pray--even if you feel it wasn't heard. He'll be there.
I don't know if you're a Christian, but just try to take that first step if you are tired of trying to survive on your own. I'm praying for you.
I wanted to read something like this because...well today I had to run some laps and if you saw me you would probably say, "WOW, SHE'S FAT!", so running is not the best thing to do.
My knees were hurting REALLY bad and I had to stop multiple times, and when I saw some kids playing near the track I was scared someone would post a video probably called, "Lazy, Fat and Crying, LOL XD" and then people would comment on it with things like, "She just wants attention" or "go on a diet! XD ".
After we did laps, I cried, like A LOT,and my "friends" (people just saying nice things to make me feel better.) and I still felt like I failed.
I'm sorry for acting like a drama queen...I just wanted to talk about it.
Crap, I'm crying again.
what i would do was go on google and see things i could do to make me prety or something but then i just realized that it was never going to happen me ever being beautiful because nobody can cure ugly...unless you get surgery but who would want that it just be better if you werent born and thats what i kept telling myself. i hate myself because everytime i look in the mirror i dont like what i see and i see a UGLY GIRL and that girl is me. i can't help to point out all my flaws out and it hurts me that i got so many. i compare myself to every other girl i see at school and i always end up being ugly and feeling it. ive never really liked myself since i was in the fourth grade i would always be that ugly girl and i still do feel that way. sometimes i wonder if anyone ever gets tired or their eyes start to hurt just by looking at me.
I hate myself because of my appearance. Many nights I cry myself to sleep trying to find relief. A few times I have taken an overdose of sleeping pills but it doesnt work. Why am I here? I want to kill myself. School is hard, I am depressed and I am nearly failing. I just want to go in a deep hole and hide. I have no help just no one to help. Only the victim knows. When someone tries to cheer you up and explain things to u like u are gods creation, or u are unique, or the most popular one~words cant hurt. Well it does because we have hearts and brains. We have feelings. Most times it is depressing especially when u are nice but the only thing people always see is ur flaws. Just remember this we only have one life. You are not alone. I am not alone and so arent you.