Do You Wonder Why You Hate Yourself Even When Others Like You?
It's so tragic to hear someone say I hate myself. But down deep, many people do. Do you hate yourself? It seems there are so many things in this world that attack our self-esteem and sense of worth. When you hate your life and yourself, it feels like you're in your own personal jail, full of self-loathing, desperately wanting to get out, but not believing they can.
Can You Relate to Caroline?
Others may think you are just crying out for attention. But the feelings are very real. You are miserable because of how you feel about yourself, even if it sounds exaggerated or overly dramatic. I believe you.
Caroline described her self-hatred like this: I hated myself because I thought I wasn't good enough to be in this world. I thought I was ugly, stupid, and weird. I wished I could have been someone else.
So why do people hate themselves?
We took a poll and asked what reasons you might have to hate yourself. The majority of people said it was something about their appearance, followed closely by I didn't feel loved, and then I failed at a relationship. Each of these could be their own articles.
Blame Ourselves When Bad Things Happen
When bad things happen, we often blame ourselves. It's easy to let this blame turn into self-hatred and suck the very life out of us. This can leave us depleted of any kind of self-worth or love. When bad things happen, the worst thing you can do is spiral down into self-pity.
Sometimes self-hate is emotional exhaustion from the blame game. It's important to remember that painful, challenging, and hard times are going to happen. Sometimes you just need to give yourself a break and get some rest. You will look much better to yourself when you get some rest and forgive yourself for any mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes.
Rejection or Abandonment
Everyone will experience rejection of some sort. It's normal. But it's difficult. Not everybody is going to love you or accept you.
But it doesn't mean you're a bad person, and that you should hate yourself because of it.
Tom wrote: I used to live consumed with thoughts about what everybody else was thinking about me. I felt like people were constantly rejecting me. All the worst things came to mind, even though there was no way of actually knowing what people were thinking. I had to quit, or else I'd go crazy.
Sometimes when people experience rejection or abandonment, they turn the responsibility onto themselves, as if they are the ones who caused the pain. Don't let what other people think about you determine what you think of yourself. The freedom you experience when you let go of this burden like Tom did, will give you great joy. He's right, it's not worth going crazy over something you really can't control.
Negative Self-Talk
Thinking poorly about yourself is kind of like self-rejection. You see something about yourself that you think is stupid or ugly and you think criticizing yourself about it will somehow make it go away. It won't. It will actually make it worse. A lot of people feel ugly. Lazy. Inadequate. It's like the whole human race suffers from deep, low self-esteem.
Mona wrote: I hate who I've become. I know there is a hardworking, honest, skinny person inside me somewhere, but most of the time I think about how far to the negative I've come, then get even angrier at myself for not working harder to become the person I know I can be.
The Fight Against Self-Hate
The fight against self-hate is an on-going battle in all of us. Some struggle with it more than others, to the point of depression and suicidal thoughts. But it seems to always be there working in the shadows, waiting to pounce on us, and take us down. One thought that has helped me in this struggle is God's love for me.
I ask myself, "Why should I hate someone God loves so much? Why should I slap Him across the face? He's the one who made me, and He did it for a very special reason." There is no one else in the whole world who is just like you or me. Isn't that incredible? That person, YOU, is worth loving.
So how do you climb out of the dark hole of self-hate? Check out 5 Things to Think or Do When You Hate Yourself.
I am a waste of space and i hate myself. Im ugly, fat and weird. Im worthless and no body likes me. I have no friends and no hope for the future. Its been years since i picked up a blade but temptation runs so deep
I quit my job because of how stressed I was. So much so that I was taking everything out on my kids. What sucks is that now, my husband tells me that this is why I'm a bad mom and why he is considering divorce. I try so hard to make everyone else happy before myself, and when I do something for myself my world comes crashing down. It's hard not to hate yourself when this happens. I do feel like my very existence is a burden to everyone around me. Maybe my girls would be better off if I weren't in the picture anymore...
hi michelle hang in there..you are a well deserving person ..god loves you a lot....and your girls love you more...pick yourself up n live..you have immense strength in you..please dun ever give that up
May as well share my story since I read ya'll's, All my life I've always felt alone like I have a older brother but he never cared for me and both my parents prefer him over me. I didn't have many friends I just had two and with being alone I took on smoking weed regularly cause it was the only thing to make me forget who I am and I can actual smile and enjoy things. Then few years later I met the girl of my dreams and she was my 1st real love. We dated for 3 yrs 2 months and she broke up with me and during that time she was the only person there for me. If it wasn't for her I would have spent a few Christmas' alone and every year of my birthday. So I was actually happy, like a real happy then after we broke up I just went back to who I was before just a lonely outcast. Just few days after we broke up I guess I could call it my dark time. I didn't eat for a week I lost my job and when I went to do some work for extra money and I couldn't do anything cause i didn't have the strength. I just kept getting dizzy and shaking it was hard to stand. Then when I tried to find someone to talk to me or just anything and I couldn't. find anyone I had gave up all my friends so I could spend more time with my ex gf. Then that's when I started taking pills to make me feel numb and one day I just wanted to escape so I took all the pills I had left and washed it down with liquor and then I don't remember much. I just remember waking up on the floor with black vomit next to me and my left arm had been cut up with a knife and my arm was soaked in blood. I had real bad pains in my kidneys and stomach areas. My mom did see my cut up arm and she didn't even talk to me about it. She just talked about herself which kinda made it worse. I'm still here and I still talk to my ex on daily basis when I wake up till we fall asleep but that's all.All I really have to look forward to now is talking to her and I'm sure she's the only reason I'm still here cause I don't want to break her heart if I did something to myself again. She's all I ever had. My family doesn't care about me I haven't seen any of them in years. And sadly I never had a family member to tell me happy birthday well my dad can't even remember me on birthday and that hurts so bad. Btw, I wait every year for a phone call to tell me happy b day but it never comes. Am I that bad of person that no one wants anything to do with me? I'm tired of crying myself to sleep, tired of always being alone and not having any one. All I got left now is my music, video games, and my weed that's my life right now...sounds fun right ?
Sorry I went to far I just had a lot if stuff I wanted to say.
hey, i can relate to you massivley. although i havent quit smoking weed, you should maybe cut down. although you feel good when you are smoking it it makes you feel more down when you are sober, at least thats the case with me. i only smoke some to help me with sleep now. love does terrible things to you when it goes wrong. i like to talk to people over the internet, maybe make friends over forums about the things you are interested in, you dont have to be alone. i had a lot of heartbreak with my ex, i got strung along a lot, and i thought enough is enough i deserve better than that. i have also thought about hurting myself and took pills but it never helps, i just feel guilty afterwards. i have been in this situation for a ages, almost 5 years now, and i find the best thing is to look for your passions, be creative, read lots about anything that excites you, go for walks in the middle of the night look at the stars, anything to break the cycle. its just a suggestion, when i do this i feel different. the stars make me wonder, which helps my mind drift from all the negative things. i am feeling very alone right now, but i like to think its a chance to get to know myself, spend a lot of time doing the things i want to do, teaching myself things i want to learn. people say life is too short but it is the longest thing you will ever do and all you have is time, give yourself a break and thankyou for opening up, there are many of us that are too frightened or ashamed to talk about their problems, remember you are brave and there is hope, i really do hope you feel better soon. another thing is change, i move my room around a lot so i dont feel like im stuck in the same room, it might work for you, but we are all very different. it pains me to know a LOT of people out there feel the same as i do, i would not wish it upon anybody, i really do hope this helps. take care and stay positive if you can, x
For a long while now I've been feeling down I think about 2yrs Ican't I can do anything right,I tried turning to God but I ruined that too. I would have committed suicide a long while ago if I didn't know its a sin. I put up a happy and cheerful expression when I'm around people my mum recently noticed it. I know God loves me but its hard to believe sometimes. I am so tired of life ,if I weren't so scared of hell id have committed suicide a long time ago. My life sucks and I.need help but I don't really trust anyone and if Ithink God is sick of hearing me complain
I thought I had the love of my life and had to kick him to the curb for his cheating. I feel like I've lost 15years of my life. 13 with him and the 2 years I've been grieving. I still work with him and have to see him occasionally. So disappointed in all that life has handed me so far. I am born again and feel like a loser because I keep giving this over to God because His "yoke is strong" then wind up in depression again every day. What's wrong with me? I hate myself and want out but have people who depend on me. I don't believe in love or happiness anymore even though I know God promises it.