Do You Wonder Why You Hate Yourself Even When Others Like You?
It's so tragic to hear someone say I hate myself. But down deep, many people do. Do you hate yourself? It seems there are so many things in this world that attack our self-esteem and sense of worth. When you hate your life and yourself, it feels like you're in your own personal jail, full of self-loathing, desperately wanting to get out, but not believing they can.
Can You Relate to Caroline?
Others may think you are just crying out for attention. But the feelings are very real. You are miserable because of how you feel about yourself, even if it sounds exaggerated or overly dramatic. I believe you.
Caroline described her self-hatred like this: I hated myself because I thought I wasn't good enough to be in this world. I thought I was ugly, stupid, and weird. I wished I could have been someone else.
So why do people hate themselves?
We took a poll and asked what reasons you might have to hate yourself. The majority of people said it was something about their appearance, followed closely by I didn't feel loved, and then I failed at a relationship. Each of these could be their own articles.
Blame Ourselves When Bad Things Happen
When bad things happen, we often blame ourselves. It's easy to let this blame turn into self-hatred and suck the very life out of us. This can leave us depleted of any kind of self-worth or love. When bad things happen, the worst thing you can do is spiral down into self-pity.
Sometimes self-hate is emotional exhaustion from the blame game. It's important to remember that painful, challenging, and hard times are going to happen. Sometimes you just need to give yourself a break and get some rest. You will look much better to yourself when you get some rest and forgive yourself for any mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes.
Rejection or Abandonment
Everyone will experience rejection of some sort. It's normal. But it's difficult. Not everybody is going to love you or accept you.
But it doesn't mean you're a bad person, and that you should hate yourself because of it.
Tom wrote: I used to live consumed with thoughts about what everybody else was thinking about me. I felt like people were constantly rejecting me. All the worst things came to mind, even though there was no way of actually knowing what people were thinking. I had to quit, or else I'd go crazy.
Sometimes when people experience rejection or abandonment, they turn the responsibility onto themselves, as if they are the ones who caused the pain. Don't let what other people think about you determine what you think of yourself. The freedom you experience when you let go of this burden like Tom did, will give you great joy. He's right, it's not worth going crazy over something you really can't control.
Negative Self-Talk
Thinking poorly about yourself is kind of like self-rejection. You see something about yourself that you think is stupid or ugly and you think criticizing yourself about it will somehow make it go away. It won't. It will actually make it worse. A lot of people feel ugly. Lazy. Inadequate. It's like the whole human race suffers from deep, low self-esteem.
Mona wrote: I hate who I've become. I know there is a hardworking, honest, skinny person inside me somewhere, but most of the time I think about how far to the negative I've come, then get even angrier at myself for not working harder to become the person I know I can be.
The Fight Against Self-Hate
The fight against self-hate is an on-going battle in all of us. Some struggle with it more than others, to the point of depression and suicidal thoughts. But it seems to always be there working in the shadows, waiting to pounce on us, and take us down. One thought that has helped me in this struggle is God's love for me.
I ask myself, "Why should I hate someone God loves so much? Why should I slap Him across the face? He's the one who made me, and He did it for a very special reason." There is no one else in the whole world who is just like you or me. Isn't that incredible? That person, YOU, is worth loving.
So how do you climb out of the dark hole of self-hate? Check out 5 Things to Think or Do When You Hate Yourself.
I often feel very hopeless, because I keep falling into the same habits over and over again. I really do want to change and do what I want to do, but I think I am holding myself back because I hate myself so much and tell myself that I'm not good enough which makes me hate myself even more. I really do want to change but can't bring myself to change and it's killing me to be stuck in this ongoing cycle. I can be positive and ok sometimes, but when I start falling into a rut again the hatred comes back and I don't know how to stop this. I really want to stop doing this and change, I REALLY do, but I've continuously tried and failed. I don't want to be here because I don't feel like I can change because I've can't stick with it. I don't want to keep living and interfering with peoples lives, but I know it will interfere with people that for some reason care about me if I take my life. I don't know why I was put in this Earth to be a screw up and hurt other people. I welcome death and yet I don't quite feel I can go down that road. I just hate being stuck in limbo like this. Please if there is any advice for me to be a better person and stop hating myself so much so that I stop hurting others, it'd be greatly appreciated.
I'm 44 alone woman, so lonely most of my friends got married
and left me alone despite all the good things and kindness that I have done to
them and was there for them always, all the time, all the time, everyone says
that I’m so kind but they leave me so easily, as easy as if I don’t call them
they won’t .never, ever with no reason.
I’m alone and in Canada
with that freaking cold, sad weather. All my family, mom and brothers are in another
country that I see them once in a year. And no going back to them is not an
option right now.
I wake up several times during the night and thinking why,
why this happened to me. I know I shouldn’t say such a thing like why me but I can’t
help to stop those though that bombarding me, killing me and drowning me in sadness, starts from morning as soon as I’m out of the
bed to the night. I have ajob that I
hate but I even don’t have strong motivation and strength to change it.And now
food becomes my everything: my family,
my husband, my kids, my friends, my pet
my love …. And yes I’m a lonely, fat 44 year old female that surrounded with
lucky, happy people and she is invisible to them.
I believe in god, I used to be a strong believer but I don’t
believe that he likes me. I’m deprived from the simplest human needs that is
love and to be loved and that’s not fair. I did everything, it is not fair
I can’t, I can’t write one more word …sobbing
I do hate my self because of what others think. And that my life has a lot mistakes, my parents just don't understand, I feel like the dumbest person in class, and I'm just, well, jugded by everybody.
God said in the Bible
Judge not, that ye be not judged.Matthew 7:1
So if people are judging you.God will judge them and you dont be worried about that.Just make yourself cool with God.
I made a lot of mistakes and was going to give up on life but later i got through.So can you.Just be strong girl!
Take care and live your life :0
I am a 21 year old woman; and have given up with both myself and life. I remember being happy at primary school, but when i started secondary school that changed. I knew no one, the only friends i could make were very sweet but very 'different'. People i knew i wouldn't be life long friends with them. In classes where i didn't have friends i just day dreamed, dreamed of being an adult, having no school and of being happy. These dreams were enough to keep me going. When i left school i went to collage part-time and for the first time since i was a child became truly happy.
I made friends with a close group of 4 girls and a boy; we got drunk together almost everyday, they did drugs too, which i did try when i got to 17. Well i loved drugs from that first time, life was a party i was defo making up for those horrible school days. Then when i hit 19 i knew it was time to grow up. I got a full-time job, started to quit drugs and the only alcohol i aloud myself was a friday night down the pub. I remained best friends with the 5 people i'd met at collage, but then one of them 'Laura was murdered. Her bf was a brute but non of us saw it coming. All of us went into meltdown then; drinking non-stop, drugs the lot. I ended up in hospital and can never drink again or that's it for me. So i went sober again, and 1 by 1 all the group put the drugs and alcohol behind us. Life has never been the same since; slowly but surely ive been sinking deeper into myself. Our group is no more, non of us talk much although we still count each other as best friends.
Over the last two years i've been too 16 funerals, almost all young, and mostly to do with drugs. 3 months ago the boy of our group James who was my best friend, my soul mate and my family took his own life. I wasn't in a good place before, dead end job i hate, weekends sat in watching tv; fun no longer a part of my life. I used to be the biggest party animal about. Since James has gone, i just feel empty, angry and out of control. I always used to put a smile on my face, even when i was crying inside people would make comments about how i was always so happy. From 16-19 i was happier then i think most people will ever feel, i think that's why now i just can't find that fake smile anywhere, I know what happiness is now. I know i've had my share, i can't dream about the future, dream of being happy with friends. I'd done it for real and it's in the past now. The future is just going to be the same dead end job, same boring nights in, no one i can talk to. I can't even have children which had always been my final dream. There is no point, i dream of going to the pub and going crazy, downing vodka like the old days; passing out for the night and never waking up. I can't do that to my mum though.
I hate my self but i accept my self i don't see that i am worth thinking about but i am fine i don't need to like my self as long as i accept who i am. I am just empty that's why i do everything