Do You Wonder Why You Hate Yourself Even When Others Like You?
It's so tragic to hear someone say I hate myself. But down deep, many people do. Do you hate yourself? It seems there are so many things in this world that attack our self-esteem and sense of worth. When you hate your life and yourself, it feels like you're in your own personal jail, full of self-loathing, desperately wanting to get out, but not believing they can.
Can You Relate to Caroline?
Others may think you are just crying out for attention. But the feelings are very real. You are miserable because of how you feel about yourself, even if it sounds exaggerated or overly dramatic. I believe you.
Caroline described her self-hatred like this: I hated myself because I thought I wasn't good enough to be in this world. I thought I was ugly, stupid, and weird. I wished I could have been someone else.
So why do people hate themselves?
We took a poll and asked what reasons you might have to hate yourself. The majority of people said it was something about their appearance, followed closely by I didn't feel loved, and then I failed at a relationship. Each of these could be their own articles.
Blame Ourselves When Bad Things Happen
When bad things happen, we often blame ourselves. It's easy to let this blame turn into self-hatred and suck the very life out of us. This can leave us depleted of any kind of self-worth or love. When bad things happen, the worst thing you can do is spiral down into self-pity.
Sometimes self-hate is emotional exhaustion from the blame game. It's important to remember that painful, challenging, and hard times are going to happen. Sometimes you just need to give yourself a break and get some rest. You will look much better to yourself when you get some rest and forgive yourself for any mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes.
Rejection or Abandonment
Everyone will experience rejection of some sort. It's normal. But it's difficult. Not everybody is going to love you or accept you.
But it doesn't mean you're a bad person, and that you should hate yourself because of it.
Tom wrote: I used to live consumed with thoughts about what everybody else was thinking about me. I felt like people were constantly rejecting me. All the worst things came to mind, even though there was no way of actually knowing what people were thinking. I had to quit, or else I'd go crazy.
Sometimes when people experience rejection or abandonment, they turn the responsibility onto themselves, as if they are the ones who caused the pain. Don't let what other people think about you determine what you think of yourself. The freedom you experience when you let go of this burden like Tom did, will give you great joy. He's right, it's not worth going crazy over something you really can't control.
Negative Self-Talk
Thinking poorly about yourself is kind of like self-rejection. You see something about yourself that you think is stupid or ugly and you think criticizing yourself about it will somehow make it go away. It won't. It will actually make it worse. A lot of people feel ugly. Lazy. Inadequate. It's like the whole human race suffers from deep, low self-esteem.
Mona wrote: I hate who I've become. I know there is a hardworking, honest, skinny person inside me somewhere, but most of the time I think about how far to the negative I've come, then get even angrier at myself for not working harder to become the person I know I can be.
The Fight Against Self-Hate
The fight against self-hate is an on-going battle in all of us. Some struggle with it more than others, to the point of depression and suicidal thoughts. But it seems to always be there working in the shadows, waiting to pounce on us, and take us down. One thought that has helped me in this struggle is God's love for me.
I ask myself, "Why should I hate someone God loves so much? Why should I slap Him across the face? He's the one who made me, and He did it for a very special reason." There is no one else in the whole world who is just like you or me. Isn't that incredible? That person, YOU, is worth loving.
So how do you climb out of the dark hole of self-hate? Check out 5 Things to Think or Do When You Hate Yourself.
I am 17 and can not stand anyone looking at me, I hate what i look like, what clothes i wear and the feel of them and i always feel disgusting in my self. I always have an urge to go in the bath even if i'm out shopping because my hair or skin is irritating me and i try to scrape/scratch my skin away or keep pulling at my hair. I always flip out at everyone who irritates me and i cant even sit in my own room or concentrate on anything. I also suffer with bad stomach cramps, diarrhea, headaches and muscle pain (Hip and Back pain). I dont always feel like this but id say 90% of the time i do. I also feel like i'm going to die and get short of breath and always go light headed... Can anyone help me please? I'm sick of my Mum not taking me seriously and i think the doctors would just not care.
Emily, We are here and we are listening. You are not alone in what you are experiencing. We are sending you an email to help you further with what is going on. Please check your email. Also, another resource is signing up for and email mentor that you can email with back and forth for as long s you like. You can sign up at this link, click on the email mentor tab: https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/ Please never give up. Chat with us anytime 24/7 to talk about what you are going through.
I fail at every friendship or relationship I try to start. I cant finish anything I start. I Have now been to school for makeup, which was a dead end, I gave up after a year because i thought it was too hard. nowim 22 living with my parents andm y boyfriend, back in school for heath care, and feel useless. I hate myself. My life. My family. My loved ones. Myself. I feel like if i give up now, im doing the world a favour. I really just dont see how anyone could apprechiate me.
I hate myself. I remember a lot of stuff from my past, a lot of bad stuff that happened to me, caused by others, caused by me. I don't usually remember happy things, mainly the bad ones. I am hard/strict towards myself when I'm commited to do something, I seek the perfection in many things. Yet, when people notice my skills and I'm requested to do some things I immediatelly think that I'm no good, that my skills in ANYTHING are awful. After doing the task I was given actually pretty well for a first time trial I take the refinement advices, given by long-term professional, as a list of failures I've done. Now that this has been going on for years I've noticed that this "fear" of not doing things right effects my skills of learning. When someone tells me to do something I'm so consentrated on listening that I'm not "actually listening what he/she" is saying. Because of this, in many cases things have to be told to me step-by-step as if I'm simple-minded. This is bizarre since in many cases I get a very thorough - very professionally thorough - analysis of the whole job process after first try. In these cases I could tell the people I work with some better working methods, but I don't trust my on logic, not even when I'm actually right. I really hate myself.
In all of these quotes, it is saying ,"I used to hate myself." Key word 'used'. What if we still do?
How do I tell someone that I hate myself? I feel like I can't tell anyone because they'll assume that I'm trying to get attention or just overreacting. I feel like I am incapable of talking to anyone about how I feel because I am so scared that they will judge me or try to "fix" it by telling me, "Oh, everyone loves you!" I've tried talking to my mom about it, but she doesn't help me either. I feel like I am keeping this from everyone and like I am lying to them an that makes me feel even worse. I just want to stop feeling this way and believe me, I've tried, but nothing works permanently because in a few days or one to two weeks the feelings of hopelessness and self-hate are back stronger and I just don't know what to do anymore.