Do You Wonder Why You Hate Yourself Even When Others Like You?
It's so tragic to hear someone say I hate myself. But down deep, many people do. Do you hate yourself? It seems there are so many things in this world that attack our self-esteem and sense of worth. When you hate your life and yourself, it feels like you're in your own personal jail, full of self-loathing, desperately wanting to get out, but not believing they can.
Can You Relate to Caroline?
Others may think you are just crying out for attention. But the feelings are very real. You are miserable because of how you feel about yourself, even if it sounds exaggerated or overly dramatic. I believe you.
Caroline described her self-hatred like this: I hated myself because I thought I wasn't good enough to be in this world. I thought I was ugly, stupid, and weird. I wished I could have been someone else.
So why do people hate themselves?
We took a poll and asked what reasons you might have to hate yourself. The majority of people said it was something about their appearance, followed closely by I didn't feel loved, and then I failed at a relationship. Each of these could be their own articles.
Blame Ourselves When Bad Things Happen
When bad things happen, we often blame ourselves. It's easy to let this blame turn into self-hatred and suck the very life out of us. This can leave us depleted of any kind of self-worth or love. When bad things happen, the worst thing you can do is spiral down into self-pity.
Sometimes self-hate is emotional exhaustion from the blame game. It's important to remember that painful, challenging, and hard times are going to happen. Sometimes you just need to give yourself a break and get some rest. You will look much better to yourself when you get some rest and forgive yourself for any mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes.
Rejection or Abandonment
Everyone will experience rejection of some sort. It's normal. But it's difficult. Not everybody is going to love you or accept you.
But it doesn't mean you're a bad person, and that you should hate yourself because of it.
Tom wrote: I used to live consumed with thoughts about what everybody else was thinking about me. I felt like people were constantly rejecting me. All the worst things came to mind, even though there was no way of actually knowing what people were thinking. I had to quit, or else I'd go crazy.
Sometimes when people experience rejection or abandonment, they turn the responsibility onto themselves, as if they are the ones who caused the pain. Don't let what other people think about you determine what you think of yourself. The freedom you experience when you let go of this burden like Tom did, will give you great joy. He's right, it's not worth going crazy over something you really can't control.
Negative Self-Talk
Thinking poorly about yourself is kind of like self-rejection. You see something about yourself that you think is stupid or ugly and you think criticizing yourself about it will somehow make it go away. It won't. It will actually make it worse. A lot of people feel ugly. Lazy. Inadequate. It's like the whole human race suffers from deep, low self-esteem.
Mona wrote: I hate who I've become. I know there is a hardworking, honest, skinny person inside me somewhere, but most of the time I think about how far to the negative I've come, then get even angrier at myself for not working harder to become the person I know I can be.
The Fight Against Self-Hate
The fight against self-hate is an on-going battle in all of us. Some struggle with it more than others, to the point of depression and suicidal thoughts. But it seems to always be there working in the shadows, waiting to pounce on us, and take us down. One thought that has helped me in this struggle is God's love for me.
I ask myself, "Why should I hate someone God loves so much? Why should I slap Him across the face? He's the one who made me, and He did it for a very special reason." There is no one else in the whole world who is just like you or me. Isn't that incredible? That person, YOU, is worth loving.
So how do you climb out of the dark hole of self-hate? Check out 5 Things to Think or Do When You Hate Yourself.
I.. I'm hated by everyone I'm depressed heavily but I'm slowly struttin through it.
Sending you love and strength justin. It can be such a challenge to love ourselves in this crazy world.
I always felt out of place growing up. My mom even told me she hated me on a couple occasions, and I've dealt with depression since I was 11. My mom always wanted my us to put our feelings in a box and lock them away. I just can't deal with it anymore. 8 years ago one man did something horrific and tore my family apart. They're are more questions than answers. I spent most of my twenty's being there for my family. I don't regret it, because the person I cared about most is doing great now against all odds. However, I slipped into a deep depression over the Summer and when I went to parents about it, because I wanted help. My mom called me a selfish b* and said that I am on my own. I haven't talked to them since. I still suffer from depression and I feel more alone than ever. I hate myself. I have to be a horrible person for my parents to turn me away. I don't drugs, drink or prostitute. Nor do I have a record, but You'd think I did from they treated me. I just feel like I'm slipping and no one is there to help me. I can't do it on my own.
I do hate myself. I am a senior in college and I majoring in international studies (which is a joke). I have one class a day and i work whenever im not in class. I started off as an undecided major but took a really cool neuroscience class. I almost could of pulled off a neuro major even though i started late but i thought i wasn't smart enough. i was valedictorian of my high school but my gpa is only a 3.77. I feel inadequate and like i have failed. I can't make it through this semester because everything feels meaningless. I hate myself. all i do is work and i can't even afford a laptop for school. i hate college and i hate wasting such a valuable opportunity because i am too stupid. I could of been happy and doing something smart but instead im having the biggest joke of a semester ever. I don't understand how anyone could feel satisfied with 4 easy classes and not learning anything. i hate it and it's too late for me.
I feel like I cause pain on purpose. I get an attitude over little things and it's ruining my relationship. It's like I don't know how to apologize or admit I'm wrong. I just expect it to go away and everything to be normal again, but my boyfriend won't let it be like that. I'm always causing something to happen, I feel like I'm so used to it I think it's normal. My last relationship really messed me up in the head, & I feel like I'm taking that with me in this relationship also. I'm literally driving myself crazy/insane.
I can relate to your experience Victoria. I am stuck in a pattern of sabotaging my relationships even tho that is the last thing I want to do. I wish us both the strength and wisdom to change these patterns. We deserve so much better.
I have been saved. I understand God's love. I try to be better. I have a great husband and 4 wonderful kids. My life isn't perfect but it's really really good. And I just want to disappear forever. I realize that it's wrong and I'm not trying to kill myself again but there's just so much empty inside of me that I can see the attraction. I realize that's stupid and I'm not trying to act on i t, or anything like that, but it's not because of my appearance or relationships or any of those things you mentioned. I just feel like everyone would be better if I wasn't in the picture. Intellectually, I realize that's a load of poop, but I feel like it would fix everything. I know in my heart that I will ruin everyone's lives around me with my existence. I know in my brain that I'm an idiot for feeling that way. I hate myself. How do I fix it?