Do You Wonder Why You Hate Yourself Even When Others Like You?
It's so tragic to hear someone say I hate myself. But down deep, many people do. Do you hate yourself? It seems there are so many things in this world that attack our self-esteem and sense of worth. When you hate your life and yourself, it feels like you're in your own personal jail, full of self-loathing, desperately wanting to get out, but not believing they can.
Can You Relate to Caroline?
Others may think you are just crying out for attention. But the feelings are very real. You are miserable because of how you feel about yourself, even if it sounds exaggerated or overly dramatic. I believe you.
Caroline described her self-hatred like this: I hated myself because I thought I wasn't good enough to be in this world. I thought I was ugly, stupid, and weird. I wished I could have been someone else.
So why do people hate themselves?
We took a poll and asked what reasons you might have to hate yourself. The majority of people said it was something about their appearance, followed closely by I didn't feel loved, and then I failed at a relationship. Each of these could be their own articles.
Blame Ourselves When Bad Things Happen
When bad things happen, we often blame ourselves. It's easy to let this blame turn into self-hatred and suck the very life out of us. This can leave us depleted of any kind of self-worth or love. When bad things happen, the worst thing you can do is spiral down into self-pity.
Sometimes self-hate is emotional exhaustion from the blame game. It's important to remember that painful, challenging, and hard times are going to happen. Sometimes you just need to give yourself a break and get some rest. You will look much better to yourself when you get some rest and forgive yourself for any mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes.
Rejection or Abandonment
Everyone will experience rejection of some sort. It's normal. But it's difficult. Not everybody is going to love you or accept you.
But it doesn't mean you're a bad person, and that you should hate yourself because of it.
Tom wrote: I used to live consumed with thoughts about what everybody else was thinking about me. I felt like people were constantly rejecting me. All the worst things came to mind, even though there was no way of actually knowing what people were thinking. I had to quit, or else I'd go crazy.
Sometimes when people experience rejection or abandonment, they turn the responsibility onto themselves, as if they are the ones who caused the pain. Don't let what other people think about you determine what you think of yourself. The freedom you experience when you let go of this burden like Tom did, will give you great joy. He's right, it's not worth going crazy over something you really can't control.
Negative Self-Talk
Thinking poorly about yourself is kind of like self-rejection. You see something about yourself that you think is stupid or ugly and you think criticizing yourself about it will somehow make it go away. It won't. It will actually make it worse. A lot of people feel ugly. Lazy. Inadequate. It's like the whole human race suffers from deep, low self-esteem.
Mona wrote: I hate who I've become. I know there is a hardworking, honest, skinny person inside me somewhere, but most of the time I think about how far to the negative I've come, then get even angrier at myself for not working harder to become the person I know I can be.
The Fight Against Self-Hate
The fight against self-hate is an on-going battle in all of us. Some struggle with it more than others, to the point of depression and suicidal thoughts. But it seems to always be there working in the shadows, waiting to pounce on us, and take us down. One thought that has helped me in this struggle is God's love for me.
I ask myself, "Why should I hate someone God loves so much? Why should I slap Him across the face? He's the one who made me, and He did it for a very special reason." There is no one else in the whole world who is just like you or me. Isn't that incredible? That person, YOU, is worth loving.
So how do you climb out of the dark hole of self-hate? Check out 5 Things to Think or Do When You Hate Yourself.
I hate myself my mum is always yelling at me saying that im fat that she is not going to buy me clothes because im so fat and look so bad in jeans , dresses,skirts, shorts.
I was bullied all my life not only because of my weight also because they want to make fun of me. One day I search of how to be anorexic and do it for a week but my mun told you are fat and if you dont eat you are gonna be more fat.
I have all of these flaws, and I absolutely detest myself for having them. I try to tell myself that everyone has problems or that I should try to be a better person, but tbh it isn't quite working. I'm an atheist, so I don't believe praying to God will help... I guess I'll scrounge around tons of sites and ask my friends for advice.
Maybe I really am just a bad person though. Tell me this, what did I do to deserve drug abusive parents who tried to kill me, getting stuck with a drunk grandmother and her equally drunk however far more abusive boyfriend. Raising my autistic little brother, and feeling like it's my fault for how he turned out because I didn't know how to handle his disorder, and my mentally handicapped sister who won't speak to me. Why is it that after my mother got off the meth and I left home to try to help her establish a life, and later ended up homeless and barely graduating high school because of my moving around, she lost everything, stole my car, burnt it to the ground, and never speaks to me? What did I do to deserve that? And no matter how hard I work, or how much I push it never seems to be enough. I have been trying my hardest just to get through school, because despite all of the bad things I've gone through I'm a really good student and want nothing more than to become a doctor so I can help people, and yet working two jobs wasn't enough to feed me and pay my rent, no matter how many scholarships I tried for. I dropped out of school this semester, which is the only thing in my life that has ever made me happy, to get a job that I don't want to have, to live in a trailer. I hate my life. I have literally gone through 20 years of hell and I don't know if I want to fight anymore. Why should I have to fight so hard to live? The only reasonable answer is somehow I must be lazy, or not doing enough, or not fighting hard enough because whenever I talk to someone they seem to have three million ways I could do something more to help my situation improve but I just don't have the energy. I hate myself. Maybe sometimes there really are reasons to hate yourself, because the universe seems to think so.
I hate my mom she destroyed my life
I have become what I hate. I am empty beyond measure. What has been my aspiration, has been my depressant. Why do I feel like I am a shell, devoid of anything good, but aspirations for all that is pleasing. There are always options for the disheartened, but who am I?
Blah Blah, why do I actually think that writing this will change me?
Duh, you are a wit-less being who, does not deserve any love and yet craves it a like a weary man water in a desert. You think that all that is needed is for someone to give you love and yet you have not realised that the root of the problem is your perception of life, that all is not going to be alright in the end. You, who believes that you are alone, but has a deeper gut feeling that your problems are not real, you have major problems deciphering the real from the non-existant perception of imaginary things. It is sad to see the state in which I have deteriated into, a being with no control over oneself should be no being at all but a robot with no thinking skills. How can I say this while not physically believing it, and yet knowing it on a scale that could be rated as super-perceptionist. Wow, I say to my self every morning, what a day I have before myself. A day that could be lived to it's full if I were not I, but a person who's true colored showed forth and was vibrant in all aspects. I can not do that however, so I have to be contented with living and not condoning, breathing and yet not inhaling, living and yet dieing, spelling and yet not doing so in a correct manner. What value do I carry? How can my meaningless stature in life be put on a scale?
Written by a 17 year old guy.