Do You Wonder Why You Hate Yourself Even When Others Like You?
It's so tragic to hear someone say I hate myself. But down deep, many people do. Do you hate yourself? It seems there are so many things in this world that attack our self-esteem and sense of worth. When you hate your life and yourself, it feels like you're in your own personal jail, full of self-loathing, desperately wanting to get out, but not believing they can.
Can You Relate to Caroline?
Others may think you are just crying out for attention. But the feelings are very real. You are miserable because of how you feel about yourself, even if it sounds exaggerated or overly dramatic. I believe you.
Caroline described her self-hatred like this: I hated myself because I thought I wasn't good enough to be in this world. I thought I was ugly, stupid, and weird. I wished I could have been someone else.
So why do people hate themselves?
We took a poll and asked what reasons you might have to hate yourself. The majority of people said it was something about their appearance, followed closely by I didn't feel loved, and then I failed at a relationship. Each of these could be their own articles.
Blame Ourselves When Bad Things Happen
When bad things happen, we often blame ourselves. It's easy to let this blame turn into self-hatred and suck the very life out of us. This can leave us depleted of any kind of self-worth or love. When bad things happen, the worst thing you can do is spiral down into self-pity.
Sometimes self-hate is emotional exhaustion from the blame game. It's important to remember that painful, challenging, and hard times are going to happen. Sometimes you just need to give yourself a break and get some rest. You will look much better to yourself when you get some rest and forgive yourself for any mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes.
Rejection or Abandonment
Everyone will experience rejection of some sort. It's normal. But it's difficult. Not everybody is going to love you or accept you.
But it doesn't mean you're a bad person, and that you should hate yourself because of it.
Tom wrote: I used to live consumed with thoughts about what everybody else was thinking about me. I felt like people were constantly rejecting me. All the worst things came to mind, even though there was no way of actually knowing what people were thinking. I had to quit, or else I'd go crazy.
Sometimes when people experience rejection or abandonment, they turn the responsibility onto themselves, as if they are the ones who caused the pain. Don't let what other people think about you determine what you think of yourself. The freedom you experience when you let go of this burden like Tom did, will give you great joy. He's right, it's not worth going crazy over something you really can't control.
Negative Self-Talk
Thinking poorly about yourself is kind of like self-rejection. You see something about yourself that you think is stupid or ugly and you think criticizing yourself about it will somehow make it go away. It won't. It will actually make it worse. A lot of people feel ugly. Lazy. Inadequate. It's like the whole human race suffers from deep, low self-esteem.
Mona wrote: I hate who I've become. I know there is a hardworking, honest, skinny person inside me somewhere, but most of the time I think about how far to the negative I've come, then get even angrier at myself for not working harder to become the person I know I can be.
The Fight Against Self-Hate
The fight against self-hate is an on-going battle in all of us. Some struggle with it more than others, to the point of depression and suicidal thoughts. But it seems to always be there working in the shadows, waiting to pounce on us, and take us down. One thought that has helped me in this struggle is God's love for me.
I ask myself, "Why should I hate someone God loves so much? Why should I slap Him across the face? He's the one who made me, and He did it for a very special reason." There is no one else in the whole world who is just like you or me. Isn't that incredible? That person, YOU, is worth loving.
So how do you climb out of the dark hole of self-hate? Check out 5 Things to Think or Do When You Hate Yourself.
I need to get something off my chest. Even if its towards total strangers. I cant bring myself to tell the people that i actually know. So im a 15 year old girl in grade 10. For as long as i can remember, ive always felt...worthless and alone. I have lots of friends and family, but i still feel alone. Like something is possibly missing. I always feel like im trapped inside some sort of glass bowl. I can see everyone around me, happy and cheerful. However i cant feel them. There is something seperating us. I know it.
Im different then everyone else. I dont know how but i am. I get days when everything is alright. But some days are not as good. I dont laugh, i dont smile, i feel like i hate everyone, and like I hate myself. I dont eat. Sometimes this lasts for days, weeks even. People notice sometimes. They ask whats wrong. The answer is always the same; "nothing." Im sick of saying nothing when it really isn't. Its everything. Im confused and alone. I've lately been not enjoying the activities i used to love. Why do i feel this way? I dont know. What's wrong with me?
Sometimes i feel like hurting myself. I use a razor to cut my arms sometimes. Not too deep though. When people ask about the cuts i say that i "got clawed in a basketball game." They always shrug it off. I dont know why i do this. I have a nice family...so why? I guess i like the pain. It makes me forget about things. Like school, and homework and drama with friends. Just recently ive started wondering what it would be like to kill myself. Would people notice i wasnt there? Would they miss me? Maybe i should try it..but i dont. I think of my little brother and sister. What would happen if i killed myself? They would be alone. What about my parents? They'd be devestated. I didn't try to kill myself because i need to be there for those that love me, no matter how much pain it puts me through.
I have no idea what to do. I dont know whats wrong with me. Is this feeling normal? When will it go away? Im sick of being depressed all the time. Why cant i be happy?
I just feel like I have so many expectations that I get frustrated and say things that I never mean. And then I begin to hate myself and then think about hurting myself. I guess i just keep feeling that my rage is distributed to anything and everything. Sometimes I feel, "Well how can God love me?" after all that I've said and done. But I love Him nonetheless, so I hope that He can forgive the things I've said about others, myself, and doubting Him and His genius and what He thinks is best for me. Lately, I've been really stressed out about the Bible, which I know you should never be, but I keep thinking that I can't live up to the expectations. People say women can't wear pants, I love wearing pants, so using that as an example, I feel torn between what i right and what is wrong. If anyone could give some advice on that, I'd love it, because I wouldn't want to take anything out on God.
I hate myself for a couple reasons
1. I am greedy
2.i lie
3.i don't care about school
4.my family is so nice to me and all I do is cause them pain and trouble
5. I push my work on others
i really hate myself . i feel i'm a good for nothin . i'm not able to shine in things I do , coz i feel i'm not very smart . I always wanted to b popular . I m fed up of being mediocre . what I really want is respect frm ppl around me
When my boyfriend has had a drink he always says horrible things to me. He never says these things when he is sober and we have been together for 8 years now I really feel like I am a useless girlfriend and a bad mother. My son has behavioural issues that he is currently undergoing testing for. I know my boyfriend doesn't mean the things he says but after 8 years it's beginnig to stick is it my fault my son is struggling ? How can I be a better mum and girlfriend. I am at a point now I do feel that whatever goes wrong is my fault and that I am a bad person is it karma have I been really bad in another life and now this is pay back. I am not after sympathy just some advice please.