Do You Wonder Why You Hate Yourself Even When Others Like You?
It's so tragic to hear someone say I hate myself. But down deep, many people do. Do you hate yourself? It seems there are so many things in this world that attack our self-esteem and sense of worth. When you hate your life and yourself, it feels like you're in your own personal jail, full of self-loathing, desperately wanting to get out, but not believing they can.
Can You Relate to Caroline?
Others may think you are just crying out for attention. But the feelings are very real. You are miserable because of how you feel about yourself, even if it sounds exaggerated or overly dramatic. I believe you.
Caroline described her self-hatred like this: I hated myself because I thought I wasn't good enough to be in this world. I thought I was ugly, stupid, and weird. I wished I could have been someone else.
So why do people hate themselves?
We took a poll and asked what reasons you might have to hate yourself. The majority of people said it was something about their appearance, followed closely by I didn't feel loved, and then I failed at a relationship. Each of these could be their own articles.
Blame Ourselves When Bad Things Happen
When bad things happen, we often blame ourselves. It's easy to let this blame turn into self-hatred and suck the very life out of us. This can leave us depleted of any kind of self-worth or love. When bad things happen, the worst thing you can do is spiral down into self-pity.
Sometimes self-hate is emotional exhaustion from the blame game. It's important to remember that painful, challenging, and hard times are going to happen. Sometimes you just need to give yourself a break and get some rest. You will look much better to yourself when you get some rest and forgive yourself for any mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes.
Rejection or Abandonment
Everyone will experience rejection of some sort. It's normal. But it's difficult. Not everybody is going to love you or accept you.
But it doesn't mean you're a bad person, and that you should hate yourself because of it.
Tom wrote: I used to live consumed with thoughts about what everybody else was thinking about me. I felt like people were constantly rejecting me. All the worst things came to mind, even though there was no way of actually knowing what people were thinking. I had to quit, or else I'd go crazy.
Sometimes when people experience rejection or abandonment, they turn the responsibility onto themselves, as if they are the ones who caused the pain. Don't let what other people think about you determine what you think of yourself. The freedom you experience when you let go of this burden like Tom did, will give you great joy. He's right, it's not worth going crazy over something you really can't control.
Negative Self-Talk
Thinking poorly about yourself is kind of like self-rejection. You see something about yourself that you think is stupid or ugly and you think criticizing yourself about it will somehow make it go away. It won't. It will actually make it worse. A lot of people feel ugly. Lazy. Inadequate. It's like the whole human race suffers from deep, low self-esteem.
Mona wrote: I hate who I've become. I know there is a hardworking, honest, skinny person inside me somewhere, but most of the time I think about how far to the negative I've come, then get even angrier at myself for not working harder to become the person I know I can be.
The Fight Against Self-Hate
The fight against self-hate is an on-going battle in all of us. Some struggle with it more than others, to the point of depression and suicidal thoughts. But it seems to always be there working in the shadows, waiting to pounce on us, and take us down. One thought that has helped me in this struggle is God's love for me.
I ask myself, "Why should I hate someone God loves so much? Why should I slap Him across the face? He's the one who made me, and He did it for a very special reason." There is no one else in the whole world who is just like you or me. Isn't that incredible? That person, YOU, is worth loving.
So how do you climb out of the dark hole of self-hate? Check out 5 Things to Think or Do When You Hate Yourself.
I have worked hard all my life, albeit with more than my fair share of mistakes, but I am finally in a spot in my life in which I feel I deserve...but I still hate myself for every little thing that I fail at. I just got a new job and completely changed pretty much everything, a new start with my dreams of what could be finally coming to fruition. But I still feel the same as I did, undeserving. Every mistake I make I feel ashamed for, and that everyone is judging me, looking at me and coming up with the conclusion that I am just some stupid person who should not have gotten that job. I still feel like nobody would want to have a relationship with me because of the shortcomings. I know that this is completely unreasonable, but I can't help it. Just recently, I made a stupid mistake at work, and even tried to clear the slate by "copping to it" and apologizing , but I still want to crawl into a hole and die, wishing that I never had to return.
I do not believe in "God" nor any other religions, so how do you fix it?
People always tell me how "it gets better," I believe them, because sometimes it does, but I always go back to feeling the same way. I look back, and I remember time after time, feeling this way. They say that God put everyone here for a reason, but where does it say that in the Bible? I have no talent, I'm not beautiful, I haven't brought a single person to Christ, I honestly don't think that I have a purpose. How can I find one, or do I just wait until I'm older? I also remember having such a different personality, it was a great one and I feel like it was the real me, I don't know how to get it back though.
Ive been feeling lost and confused like its no one in my corner... everybody says its going to be okay but they don't understand the thoughts in my head or what im going through i cant keep a conversation like others so i beat my self up. Im losing relationships i feel stupid dumb & miserable i just wanna be normal
I have spent my life trying to do things correctly and trying to do the right thing. Well not anymore. Everything I do is wrong. And i am completely content with this. I am a happy person because I have given up trying to do things right, and trying to be something I am not. Yes I am a screw up, yes I don't have a decent job, yes I am ugly, and stupid. But you know what? It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter to me that every other soul on this planet is better than me or prettier than me or smarter than me. Because I am me, and I have as much right to live as everyone else. And as much right to be here. And I put in 100% effort in everything I do. It's never good enough for anyone else but it's good enough for me. And I will continue through life being hopeless at everything, having people stare at me for being ugly, and having people judge me for being stupid. But that's their problem. I hear comments from other people, people who judge me. But are they perfect themselves?? Is there such a thing as perfection? Does perfection even exist? I could be called every name under the sun, but it won't get me down. My smile remains put. I use to try and think 'I am pretty'....I used to repeat this to myself over and over again. But the fact of the matter is I am not. But it doesn't matter because I am me. I am who I am and I always will be and I won't change and nobody will ever change me. I am completely honest with myself about myself.
I am very very angry at myself. Because I am doing a job which I hate. I wanted to become someone else with a good job at a higher post, but for now stuck in this small job. Most of the office staffs are forcing me to do their work, including in holidays. So, I am unable to do any study for achieving my other dreams. That's why I hate myself and my parents, because my parents were also persuaded me to accept the job. The job is a small State Govt. job, with too much work, due to fewer staffs. All other staffs are around 10-20 years or more elder than me. At times, when I am alone, I am getting extremely angry & sad at the same time. I want to leave it ASAP, but I would be jobless, if I leave it, which I don't want. At the same time, if I don't leave the job, I may get stuck in this for the whole life, which I don't want to. Sometimes alone at work, I am attacking PC monitors, files, registers, etc. due to the anger.