Do You Wonder Why You Hate Yourself Even When Others Like You?
It's so tragic to hear someone say I hate myself. But down deep, many people do. Do you hate yourself? It seems there are so many things in this world that attack our self-esteem and sense of worth. When you hate your life and yourself, it feels like you're in your own personal jail, full of self-loathing, desperately wanting to get out, but not believing they can.
Can You Relate to Caroline?
Others may think you are just crying out for attention. But the feelings are very real. You are miserable because of how you feel about yourself, even if it sounds exaggerated or overly dramatic. I believe you.
Caroline described her self-hatred like this: I hated myself because I thought I wasn't good enough to be in this world. I thought I was ugly, stupid, and weird. I wished I could have been someone else.
So why do people hate themselves?
We took a poll and asked what reasons you might have to hate yourself. The majority of people said it was something about their appearance, followed closely by I didn't feel loved, and then I failed at a relationship. Each of these could be their own articles.
Blame Ourselves When Bad Things Happen
When bad things happen, we often blame ourselves. It's easy to let this blame turn into self-hatred and suck the very life out of us. This can leave us depleted of any kind of self-worth or love. When bad things happen, the worst thing you can do is spiral down into self-pity.
Sometimes self-hate is emotional exhaustion from the blame game. It's important to remember that painful, challenging, and hard times are going to happen. Sometimes you just need to give yourself a break and get some rest. You will look much better to yourself when you get some rest and forgive yourself for any mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes.
Rejection or Abandonment
Everyone will experience rejection of some sort. It's normal. But it's difficult. Not everybody is going to love you or accept you.
But it doesn't mean you're a bad person, and that you should hate yourself because of it.
Tom wrote: I used to live consumed with thoughts about what everybody else was thinking about me. I felt like people were constantly rejecting me. All the worst things came to mind, even though there was no way of actually knowing what people were thinking. I had to quit, or else I'd go crazy.
Sometimes when people experience rejection or abandonment, they turn the responsibility onto themselves, as if they are the ones who caused the pain. Don't let what other people think about you determine what you think of yourself. The freedom you experience when you let go of this burden like Tom did, will give you great joy. He's right, it's not worth going crazy over something you really can't control.
Negative Self-Talk
Thinking poorly about yourself is kind of like self-rejection. You see something about yourself that you think is stupid or ugly and you think criticizing yourself about it will somehow make it go away. It won't. It will actually make it worse. A lot of people feel ugly. Lazy. Inadequate. It's like the whole human race suffers from deep, low self-esteem.
Mona wrote: I hate who I've become. I know there is a hardworking, honest, skinny person inside me somewhere, but most of the time I think about how far to the negative I've come, then get even angrier at myself for not working harder to become the person I know I can be.
The Fight Against Self-Hate
The fight against self-hate is an on-going battle in all of us. Some struggle with it more than others, to the point of depression and suicidal thoughts. But it seems to always be there working in the shadows, waiting to pounce on us, and take us down. One thought that has helped me in this struggle is God's love for me.
I ask myself, "Why should I hate someone God loves so much? Why should I slap Him across the face? He's the one who made me, and He did it for a very special reason." There is no one else in the whole world who is just like you or me. Isn't that incredible? That person, YOU, is worth loving.
So how do you climb out of the dark hole of self-hate? Check out 5 Things to Think or Do When You Hate Yourself.
I used to have so many friends back then. Because,I don't know...I was carefree,I didn't care about my studies,I seldom go to school, I hang out with my friends and do stuffs with them. They thought I was a really fun person to be with until I attended summer classes because of my actions. And then I thought of changing me,when I turned fifteen I made huge changes about my study habits,I study a lot that I tend to avoid hanging out with my friends because I was super busy passing all the requirements and stuffs that we need to pass. I've been receiving achievements and at the same time I've been losing a lot of people or "friends" I don't know...They say that I'm not the same person that they use to hang out with. I don't have anyone to talk to,iam so alone right now! my friends hate me. They don't talk to me. I don't have anybody. I don't know if I have to hate what I turned myself into or just be happy because I know that I'm doing the right thing. I just keep on telling myself that losing people around you is part of growing up. They hate me now,I don't know if I could survive highschool without people around me it's just depressing to go to school everyday and just sit in the corner the whole day. I don't know. 🙁
I know the feeling. I fled to Japan to find love and left the few friends I had back in Sweden. Now I'm mostly alone because people either dislike me or don't care. I haven't bonded with anyone. I know the pain very well. People have fun around you and gets invited to stuff but not you. I would say keep fighting but I don't know myself anymore. Didn't find love either. The girls I meet send hearts and stuff until they get to know me a little and see my personality then everything changes. They stop sending hearts or putting emotion or effort into their messages and shortly after stop completely. I don't know what's wrong with me. And I know I can't return to sweden. I just feel it. It would destroy me
hate myself for no reason at all, i have a young daughter and my whole life ahead of me but i just can't understand any of that,all i want to do is stay still and live the moment for me, i know it's selfish but deep down i know thats what i want. i'm sure i'm not the only person to think their life is passing them by but i just want to stop and look around for a while.
After reading some of these blogs. I've come to the conclusion I will never be happy. So why bother going on with life. I hate myself other people hate me I'm lonely and I have no one so I've decided to do the right thing for once in my life . My children deserve better than someone like me
I feel I'm at the worst I have ever been in my life. im not typically the talking type, im very shy have very few friends I'm going to school and I work graveyards my debt from school skyrocketed and I can't do anything about it and im barely getting hours at work to just pay off one school bill while all my other bills pile up or else they will kick me out of school , to top it off I just broke up with my girlfriend who I think just used me as a rebound to make herself feel better while making me catch feelings then dumped me, sometimes I just stay in my room because I feel like I'm on empty and can't go on anymore with everything piling up on me, I workout constantly because i feel like it helps with my stress but as soon as I leave the gym everything just crawls back into my mind gnawing at me with finances, my ex and my crappy life , I'm only 22 but I feel like if I was different or smarter I wouldn't be in this mess I created for myself.
I simply feel awful. All day I criticise myself, I try not to listen, I try to hear the criticism in a silly voice or counter it with a positive comment but I hate myself. From the way I look, to the way I talk, the things I say and the way I behave. I hate that I'm writing this.