Do You Wonder Why You Hate Yourself Even When Others Like You?
It's so tragic to hear someone say I hate myself. But down deep, many people do. Do you hate yourself? It seems there are so many things in this world that attack our self-esteem and sense of worth. When you hate your life and yourself, it feels like you're in your own personal jail, full of self-loathing, desperately wanting to get out, but not believing they can.
Can You Relate to Caroline?
Others may think you are just crying out for attention. But the feelings are very real. You are miserable because of how you feel about yourself, even if it sounds exaggerated or overly dramatic. I believe you.
Caroline described her self-hatred like this: I hated myself because I thought I wasn't good enough to be in this world. I thought I was ugly, stupid, and weird. I wished I could have been someone else.
So why do people hate themselves?
We took a poll and asked what reasons you might have to hate yourself. The majority of people said it was something about their appearance, followed closely by I didn't feel loved, and then I failed at a relationship. Each of these could be their own articles.
Blame Ourselves When Bad Things Happen
When bad things happen, we often blame ourselves. It's easy to let this blame turn into self-hatred and suck the very life out of us. This can leave us depleted of any kind of self-worth or love. When bad things happen, the worst thing you can do is spiral down into self-pity.
Sometimes self-hate is emotional exhaustion from the blame game. It's important to remember that painful, challenging, and hard times are going to happen. Sometimes you just need to give yourself a break and get some rest. You will look much better to yourself when you get some rest and forgive yourself for any mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes.
Rejection or Abandonment
Everyone will experience rejection of some sort. It's normal. But it's difficult. Not everybody is going to love you or accept you.
But it doesn't mean you're a bad person, and that you should hate yourself because of it.
Tom wrote: I used to live consumed with thoughts about what everybody else was thinking about me. I felt like people were constantly rejecting me. All the worst things came to mind, even though there was no way of actually knowing what people were thinking. I had to quit, or else I'd go crazy.
Sometimes when people experience rejection or abandonment, they turn the responsibility onto themselves, as if they are the ones who caused the pain. Don't let what other people think about you determine what you think of yourself. The freedom you experience when you let go of this burden like Tom did, will give you great joy. He's right, it's not worth going crazy over something you really can't control.
Negative Self-Talk
Thinking poorly about yourself is kind of like self-rejection. You see something about yourself that you think is stupid or ugly and you think criticizing yourself about it will somehow make it go away. It won't. It will actually make it worse. A lot of people feel ugly. Lazy. Inadequate. It's like the whole human race suffers from deep, low self-esteem.
Mona wrote: I hate who I've become. I know there is a hardworking, honest, skinny person inside me somewhere, but most of the time I think about how far to the negative I've come, then get even angrier at myself for not working harder to become the person I know I can be.
The Fight Against Self-Hate
The fight against self-hate is an on-going battle in all of us. Some struggle with it more than others, to the point of depression and suicidal thoughts. But it seems to always be there working in the shadows, waiting to pounce on us, and take us down. One thought that has helped me in this struggle is God's love for me.
I ask myself, "Why should I hate someone God loves so much? Why should I slap Him across the face? He's the one who made me, and He did it for a very special reason." There is no one else in the whole world who is just like you or me. Isn't that incredible? That person, YOU, is worth loving.
So how do you climb out of the dark hole of self-hate? Check out 5 Things to Think or Do When You Hate Yourself.
I hate myself to an unbelievable extent. Although I don't really understand why, I have no true "reason" to. I'm only in highschool yet I've packed in a life time of self loathing. It's not because I'm lonely, or I feel ugly. I'm more than ok with my appearance and people, even complete strangers, are constantly saying I'm pretty. So that's clearly not the issue, because I like the way I look. I also have an insane amount of friends who all say they truly care about me, and think I'm absolutely amazing. I'm not trying to sound arrogant, but I'm just saying the honest truth. Most everyone knows who I am, and I only know one person who's mean to me. He's friends with one of my best friends but no one like him because he is a bully. He says I'm annoying and ugly but I honestly couldn't care any less, even if I tried. I just absolutely hate myself and who I am. I feel like everyone around me secretly hates me and that I'm a total unwanted loser who would be better off six feet under ground. And I don't know why, I'm not depressed. I like my life and I'm very optimistic and happy most of the time. But when it comes to myself that all goes bad. I just think I'm unlovable and that I'm going to die alone because no one truly even remotely likes me.
I feel like everything I do in life is wrong I fail at everything iv never had a proper friend to turn to they all leave
ME I've never had a bf I just don't like myself at all everything about me the way I look who I am nothing I do changes it I feel really down I need some advice and help on how to change this because I feel myself getting lower and lower
Wow, we have the same name hun!!! I really can relate to you except for the boyfriend part. I've had some but they never lasted and always choose the other girl. I think we should become friends and get to know each other. Not just because of the name similarity..lol.
Where do I begin? I've hated myself since I was a child, probably because everyone in my life - except my immediate family - hated me and said negative things about me. So that's what I internalized. I think I'm fat and ugly. My boyfriend adores me and treats me like a queen, although, truth be told, I suspect he stays with me for convenience (I have a high paying job.) Speaking of high paying jobs, that's the only thing in life in good at. I don't cook because my parents sent me to my room to study whenever they caught me loitering in the kitchen as a teen. So I never developed an interest in cooking. I'm a slow reader, which makes me feel defective. I'm a 35 year old woman with no children, which makes me feel my life is worthless. I work over 12 hours a day, sometimes two weeks in a row, which is exhausting but is a side effect of my profession. I think about suicide so often that I've researched methods like they're going out of style. I'm just too chicken to kill myself. My boyfriend and several friends have told me how devastated they'd be if I was gone, but I'm convinced they'll get over it. I'm just tired of feeling stressed, overwhelmed, and like I've failed in every area of my life except my career. I'm a useless human and don't know why I'm here. I believe in God, but I'm sure He stopped listening to me long ago...
every day i cant seem to be happy there is nothing that is good around me i have a nice house parents together a job and school i'm not a normal kid though i have diabetes but type one not two so i cant get rid of it and i get ranted to by my parents who don't support everything i do i cant seem to find a career path no matter how hard i try i cant find love anywhere, although i like girls bu they don't know i exist i'm un fit the only thing i am good at is games but what good is that going to do i'm also good at making others laugh at jokes and my upbeat personality, i almost never get complements i feel i look fine but that wont help me none all i can think about is how i'm going no were and i cant stop crying about it i don't want to cry but i cant stop it and its killing me slowly i cant find help for this i just keep digging deeper into a pit someone help me....
Hi everyone
I just found this website,article and the comments by chance when I was looking for a way to get rid of this awful feeling. I got shocked when I read the comments and realized that I share this feeling with many people around the world and I'm not alone with this feeling. This is demanding that you wake up everyday and think about yourself as a guilty and useless person who hasn't any important achievement in her life. Especially when I think that I am close to 40 and haven't married despite many marriage proposals that I had just because of a meaningless love relationship which ended few years ago.