Do You Wonder Why You Hate Yourself Even When Others Like You?
It's so tragic to hear someone say I hate myself. But down deep, many people do. Do you hate yourself? It seems there are so many things in this world that attack our self-esteem and sense of worth. When you hate your life and yourself, it feels like you're in your own personal jail, full of self-loathing, desperately wanting to get out, but not believing they can.
Can You Relate to Caroline?
Others may think you are just crying out for attention. But the feelings are very real. You are miserable because of how you feel about yourself, even if it sounds exaggerated or overly dramatic. I believe you.
Caroline described her self-hatred like this: I hated myself because I thought I wasn't good enough to be in this world. I thought I was ugly, stupid, and weird. I wished I could have been someone else.
So why do people hate themselves?
We took a poll and asked what reasons you might have to hate yourself. The majority of people said it was something about their appearance, followed closely by I didn't feel loved, and then I failed at a relationship. Each of these could be their own articles.
Blame Ourselves When Bad Things Happen
When bad things happen, we often blame ourselves. It's easy to let this blame turn into self-hatred and suck the very life out of us. This can leave us depleted of any kind of self-worth or love. When bad things happen, the worst thing you can do is spiral down into self-pity.
Sometimes self-hate is emotional exhaustion from the blame game. It's important to remember that painful, challenging, and hard times are going to happen. Sometimes you just need to give yourself a break and get some rest. You will look much better to yourself when you get some rest and forgive yourself for any mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes.
Rejection or Abandonment
Everyone will experience rejection of some sort. It's normal. But it's difficult. Not everybody is going to love you or accept you.
But it doesn't mean you're a bad person, and that you should hate yourself because of it.
Tom wrote: I used to live consumed with thoughts about what everybody else was thinking about me. I felt like people were constantly rejecting me. All the worst things came to mind, even though there was no way of actually knowing what people were thinking. I had to quit, or else I'd go crazy.
Sometimes when people experience rejection or abandonment, they turn the responsibility onto themselves, as if they are the ones who caused the pain. Don't let what other people think about you determine what you think of yourself. The freedom you experience when you let go of this burden like Tom did, will give you great joy. He's right, it's not worth going crazy over something you really can't control.
Negative Self-Talk
Thinking poorly about yourself is kind of like self-rejection. You see something about yourself that you think is stupid or ugly and you think criticizing yourself about it will somehow make it go away. It won't. It will actually make it worse. A lot of people feel ugly. Lazy. Inadequate. It's like the whole human race suffers from deep, low self-esteem.
Mona wrote: I hate who I've become. I know there is a hardworking, honest, skinny person inside me somewhere, but most of the time I think about how far to the negative I've come, then get even angrier at myself for not working harder to become the person I know I can be.
The Fight Against Self-Hate
The fight against self-hate is an on-going battle in all of us. Some struggle with it more than others, to the point of depression and suicidal thoughts. But it seems to always be there working in the shadows, waiting to pounce on us, and take us down. One thought that has helped me in this struggle is God's love for me.
I ask myself, "Why should I hate someone God loves so much? Why should I slap Him across the face? He's the one who made me, and He did it for a very special reason." There is no one else in the whole world who is just like you or me. Isn't that incredible? That person, YOU, is worth loving.
So how do you climb out of the dark hole of self-hate? Check out 5 Things to Think or Do When You Hate Yourself.
i dont know. ive read these and still feel the same. my life is a little different then these. im 21 years old and ever since i was 9 i have been the man of my house. cooking cleaning help raise my sister and more. eveything a dad does i have done. except been able to support my family financially. i cant because we are dirt poor and the gov helps well basically pays all on our rent and some on bills. but even if i were to get a job that still wouldnt be enough and the gov would stop help paying... my mom tells me to go to school. while im have been stuck in the same place for the last 8 years off my life. i have no future to look forward to i have no life beyond being stuck inside off my home where, i want to kill myself most of the day. my girlfreinds keeps threatining to break up with me if i dont find a job but what am i suppose to do when in one ear my mother tells me to go to school dont work( the school gas yet to give me finicial aid... its been orver3 months since i applied) and in the other ear having my girlfriend tell me im not crap, and she will leave if i dont grow up. i feel so stuck in life. what is thee for me in life because i see no future and right now just want to end eveything. i can never tell anyone this stuff becvause all they do is judge and tell me the same shit. when they do not have my life. they havent seen or heard what i have. i mean yes everyone has stress and problems i know but this has just been eatin gme away for years now and i dont know what to do
My name is Dean, i am 32 years old and hate everything about myself, it's not a drinking thing i just not happy and it's effecting all aspects of my life. I do know how to change, i'm a good person with a good family but i can't shake the feeling that i want to die, i the world would be a better place without me in it the worst part of it is when i think about death it comforts me. I can't connect with people properly, i have always be shy which has not helped, i am a good person and my friends and family tell me so and that makes me feel even worst. I don't know if i deal with these feeling anymore, it's rotting me from the inside out i'm beginning to feel hate for everything and everyone around me, i hide behind a veil of false polite words but it's not helping me, it's all bull.
Me I'm 34 have never had any real friends I'm married with two kids my son has autism it's been hard we just moved from ohio to phoenix with no help from anyone I've always been mad at everything because I feel like no matter how hard I try people don't like me now my marriage is falling apart I'm thinking of ending it but the only thing that is stoping me is the thought of going to hell I don't drink or do drugs I just need help God has always been there I just don't know how much more I can take
Thomas wilkinson age 13
I am never a girls first, im always second or a reject, i dont ever remember being the top of any form of looks/player ranking between people. A lot of girls talk to me but they never appriciate who i am, i try countlessly to be noticed sometimes to much i change my mood from happy to moody to try and fit in i try be myself, i dont know what depression feels like but if i had a guess it would be what i feel like.
I talk to girls only a lot because they dont judge me, i talk to uglier girls because they dont judge me and they go through what i go through. I met this girl lets call her "lucy" we met at scouting which is were i used to go it was a summer camp she was a year older than me, we spent ages talking and i was really in my element i was cracking jokes i was super confident and seemed reasuringly alluring to her, shed talk to me enough and i felt so appriciated, i got her details; snapchat, phone number ect, so i started messaging her, she took ages to reply and i just couldnt think why, i thought am i not funny enough anymore, why cant you just let us have something. Just let it go my way, the replies took longer and longer so i asked her friend about what too do and her friend told her everything i said, she brought it up and it went out of hand and i made loads of lies i know she didnt believe, she ignored me for 2 days and then i belive i asked her" why do you not like me, you spend ages go reply and rarely sound like you care, i love you and i dont know whu uou hate me". She replied i dont, and then ure "too needy" she then stopped talking to me and blocked me and i cried i hit walls i hit myself so hard i left purple bruses, i hated myself so much for my mistakes, it has been 3 months i think about what i did every night, im more happy now cuz i have been starting to get over it, i talk to this girl on the internet and for once she was trying she is 15 and i am 13 but we have really good conversations whilst we play games and she started talking to some over people, i became really jealous and stopped talking to her for a day, she now speaks the me even less like she dosnt care, this hasnt been as bad but we had a nice connection. She laughed and thats over too, i reflect on everything sometimes cry, sometimes hit walls scream into my pillow and something stare out my window for ages 1-3 hours at most. No one at school respects me at all my friends are jerks to me if i talk to girls online and when i talk to girls in real life i fail and im sometimes ignored, i asked a girl out she said no, and i tried so hard befor that shed laugh, and then my friend got her i no longer like her but i just felt really bad. I have spots, my voice is broken and i try and act happy at shcool so no one realises i hate myself, i used to blame it on other people now i blame myself, why am i friends with these people, why do i have to be so unlucky and ugly ect. i even once thought why cant i be a girl they r always the ones rejecting and there so emotional and caring why cant i just have that, but i wasnt looking for a sex or anything like that. I am starting to feel better but i need to know if anyone can tell me anything to relieve me of being upset. ;(
I hate myself,i hate my body,i hate how stupid i am,i hate how i work hard and get no where i hate how my friends dont invite me out or do things with out me,i hate myself,i hate myself,i hate myself.