Do You Wonder Why You Hate Yourself Even When Others Like You?
It's so tragic to hear someone say I hate myself. But down deep, many people do. Do you hate yourself? It seems there are so many things in this world that attack our self-esteem and sense of worth. When you hate your life and yourself, it feels like you're in your own personal jail, full of self-loathing, desperately wanting to get out, but not believing they can.
Can You Relate to Caroline?
Others may think you are just crying out for attention. But the feelings are very real. You are miserable because of how you feel about yourself, even if it sounds exaggerated or overly dramatic. I believe you.
Caroline described her self-hatred like this: I hated myself because I thought I wasn't good enough to be in this world. I thought I was ugly, stupid, and weird. I wished I could have been someone else.
So why do people hate themselves?
We took a poll and asked what reasons you might have to hate yourself. The majority of people said it was something about their appearance, followed closely by I didn't feel loved, and then I failed at a relationship. Each of these could be their own articles.
Blame Ourselves When Bad Things Happen
When bad things happen, we often blame ourselves. It's easy to let this blame turn into self-hatred and suck the very life out of us. This can leave us depleted of any kind of self-worth or love. When bad things happen, the worst thing you can do is spiral down into self-pity.
Sometimes self-hate is emotional exhaustion from the blame game. It's important to remember that painful, challenging, and hard times are going to happen. Sometimes you just need to give yourself a break and get some rest. You will look much better to yourself when you get some rest and forgive yourself for any mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes.
Rejection or Abandonment
Everyone will experience rejection of some sort. It's normal. But it's difficult. Not everybody is going to love you or accept you.
But it doesn't mean you're a bad person, and that you should hate yourself because of it.
Tom wrote: I used to live consumed with thoughts about what everybody else was thinking about me. I felt like people were constantly rejecting me. All the worst things came to mind, even though there was no way of actually knowing what people were thinking. I had to quit, or else I'd go crazy.
Sometimes when people experience rejection or abandonment, they turn the responsibility onto themselves, as if they are the ones who caused the pain. Don't let what other people think about you determine what you think of yourself. The freedom you experience when you let go of this burden like Tom did, will give you great joy. He's right, it's not worth going crazy over something you really can't control.
Negative Self-Talk
Thinking poorly about yourself is kind of like self-rejection. You see something about yourself that you think is stupid or ugly and you think criticizing yourself about it will somehow make it go away. It won't. It will actually make it worse. A lot of people feel ugly. Lazy. Inadequate. It's like the whole human race suffers from deep, low self-esteem.
Mona wrote: I hate who I've become. I know there is a hardworking, honest, skinny person inside me somewhere, but most of the time I think about how far to the negative I've come, then get even angrier at myself for not working harder to become the person I know I can be.
The Fight Against Self-Hate
The fight against self-hate is an on-going battle in all of us. Some struggle with it more than others, to the point of depression and suicidal thoughts. But it seems to always be there working in the shadows, waiting to pounce on us, and take us down. One thought that has helped me in this struggle is God's love for me.
I ask myself, "Why should I hate someone God loves so much? Why should I slap Him across the face? He's the one who made me, and He did it for a very special reason." There is no one else in the whole world who is just like you or me. Isn't that incredible? That person, YOU, is worth loving.
So how do you climb out of the dark hole of self-hate? Check out 5 Things to Think or Do When You Hate Yourself.
I've attempted suicide so many times and failed. I feel like everyone hates me even though I know that's not true. I have never had a real boyfriend around longer than a month and they always choose someone else over me. I feel fat and ugly. My mom only pretends to care about me in order to get money off of me for rent. My friends that I do have only take to me when they want to not when I really really need them. I try to talk to them out of the blue and ask how they are doing and stuff and I get no response back. I feel like I'm just wasting away. I don't know why I'm alive because no one wants to be around me. I just want someone that actually cares. I need someone to talk to on a daily basis that will listen to me and tell me everything's going to be o.k. I used to have a friend like that but I turned her friendship away because she was becoming dramatic and bad mouthing her husband. I just don't know anymore. Is it me? Is there something wrong with me? I feel like I'm going crazy and need some mental help or something. It's not fair I didn't ask to go through all of this stuff. When I was little my stepgrandpa used to grope me around my breasts and my private area (he didn't rape me technically) so I couldn't tell anyone cause he wouldn't have gotten away with it. I was only 12 years old. I've been bullied since high school about my weight and I just feel like crap. I tried to kill myself last night and wonder why I'm still alive? What keeps me here? I'm nothing.
I think I have some pretty good reasons to be miserable. Hating myself is the only reason I still feel like waking up in the morning, I like feeling the pain and anxiety I get from my intense, negative thoughts. I can go from point A to point B in a second, it's amazing actually. I'm a convicted felon at 20, and I've pretty much blown my chance to have a good life, instead I chose to drink and drug, while I've been sober for awhile, I'm ready to go back to it. I can't get a REAL job anywhere, I'm homeless, my family doesn't give a crap about me, and the freakin' list goes on. Suicide seems so tasty, but I'll never act on it. I've tried church and believing in God, but I find myself in the same position as before. There's nothing that can make me happy, not even from myself. The only thing I can do is broadcast the fact that my life is crap and that it's not worth living, but unfortunately, ending it is not so simple. I HATE MYSELF AND I HATE LIFE.
I spent my childhood in the country side of Montana, I used to be able to entertain myself as a child weather it be running around the fields in Amsterdam and chirch hill or playing with bugs. but then we moved to willow creek. I didn't know what to expect from other people. I had ADHD and ADD. I had a principle (garth Brooks) whom hated me. I got blamed for everything , called to the office everyday . so then I went to Three Forks school. my first day there no one liked me , although I said nothing or did anything, I was constently called a retard by my classmates. even my teacher (mrs malmquest ) hated me . everytime I would get caught asking for help she would grab me by the ear, pull me to the hallway, then pushed me to the floor and yell at me. I told the principle about what was going on and he did nothing he just laughed because he thought it was funny. I feel that im ugly, untalented , not good enough for anyone. I suffered events like that my whole life. I started smoking pot in the 4th grade and managed to bring myself out of the darkness. but slowly and surely I was there again. but worse , I tried suppressing my feelings idk why im even typing this because I know no one cares , no one probably will read this , every girl I let into my life has cheated on me with my friends and my relasionships usualy last 2 years .... however this is too hard to handle right now . I cant go on like this... I pray Jesus will forgive me .
I hate myself because I'm am search a job last two year i didn't get success I feel like I am worthless like I cant do anything.
Wow I can't believed I've found people like me. I've been unhappy for sometime, I've messed up my marriage. And can't forgive my self, I use to be a happy person and now they say its like I have a black cloud around me everytime I come around. So I stay to my self. Its been 9 years since I haven't been with my ex. And I can't seem to let him go. I sometimes wish I could erase that part of my lie so I didn't have to feel this pain any more. Because its effect my life. I can't seem to let go of him. Andi stay stuck in the ugly past with no hope. Karma is real people.