Do You Wonder Why You Hate Yourself Even When Others Like You?
It's so tragic to hear someone say I hate myself. But down deep, many people do. Do you hate yourself? It seems there are so many things in this world that attack our self-esteem and sense of worth. When you hate your life and yourself, it feels like you're in your own personal jail, full of self-loathing, desperately wanting to get out, but not believing they can.
Can You Relate to Caroline?
Others may think you are just crying out for attention. But the feelings are very real. You are miserable because of how you feel about yourself, even if it sounds exaggerated or overly dramatic. I believe you.
Caroline described her self-hatred like this: I hated myself because I thought I wasn't good enough to be in this world. I thought I was ugly, stupid, and weird. I wished I could have been someone else.
So why do people hate themselves?
We took a poll and asked what reasons you might have to hate yourself. The majority of people said it was something about their appearance, followed closely by I didn't feel loved, and then I failed at a relationship. Each of these could be their own articles.
Blame Ourselves When Bad Things Happen
When bad things happen, we often blame ourselves. It's easy to let this blame turn into self-hatred and suck the very life out of us. This can leave us depleted of any kind of self-worth or love. When bad things happen, the worst thing you can do is spiral down into self-pity.
Sometimes self-hate is emotional exhaustion from the blame game. It's important to remember that painful, challenging, and hard times are going to happen. Sometimes you just need to give yourself a break and get some rest. You will look much better to yourself when you get some rest and forgive yourself for any mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes.
Rejection or Abandonment
Everyone will experience rejection of some sort. It's normal. But it's difficult. Not everybody is going to love you or accept you.
But it doesn't mean you're a bad person, and that you should hate yourself because of it.
Tom wrote: I used to live consumed with thoughts about what everybody else was thinking about me. I felt like people were constantly rejecting me. All the worst things came to mind, even though there was no way of actually knowing what people were thinking. I had to quit, or else I'd go crazy.
Sometimes when people experience rejection or abandonment, they turn the responsibility onto themselves, as if they are the ones who caused the pain. Don't let what other people think about you determine what you think of yourself. The freedom you experience when you let go of this burden like Tom did, will give you great joy. He's right, it's not worth going crazy over something you really can't control.
Negative Self-Talk
Thinking poorly about yourself is kind of like self-rejection. You see something about yourself that you think is stupid or ugly and you think criticizing yourself about it will somehow make it go away. It won't. It will actually make it worse. A lot of people feel ugly. Lazy. Inadequate. It's like the whole human race suffers from deep, low self-esteem.
Mona wrote: I hate who I've become. I know there is a hardworking, honest, skinny person inside me somewhere, but most of the time I think about how far to the negative I've come, then get even angrier at myself for not working harder to become the person I know I can be.
The Fight Against Self-Hate
The fight against self-hate is an on-going battle in all of us. Some struggle with it more than others, to the point of depression and suicidal thoughts. But it seems to always be there working in the shadows, waiting to pounce on us, and take us down. One thought that has helped me in this struggle is God's love for me.
I ask myself, "Why should I hate someone God loves so much? Why should I slap Him across the face? He's the one who made me, and He did it for a very special reason." There is no one else in the whole world who is just like you or me. Isn't that incredible? That person, YOU, is worth loving.
So how do you climb out of the dark hole of self-hate? Check out 5 Things to Think or Do When You Hate Yourself.
sylvia,
when I read your post I thought.....This was me when I was in junior high and high school. I was confused about why i was filled with such self doubt and everyone else just seemed to be so sure of everything and comfortable with who they were. Does this sound familiar? At your stage in life kids are beginning to find out who they are separate from their parents. They are learning to love the little personality traits that make them unique and enjoying sharing their personalities with others. I believe that something is preventing you from seeing the unique, special person you are.
Maybe someone close to you puts you down or maybe your blaming yourself for something that is beyond you control. In any case its time for you to move full steam ahead. Join things, volunteer somewhere, Research something you've always been curious about. The more things you become involved in the more life knowledge you aquire. The more you can speak about a variety of different things the more you come to know and like yourself. You certainly are not alone.......and I promise things do get better. As for the boys......just because he's attracted to you doesn't your attracted to him. You do the choosing not them. Oh, and one more thing. When I was young my mother always told me I wasn't very smart. Well guess what she was wrong.....I graduated college with a masters degree. Claim your true self and your life. There is so much to look forward to.
I have no self convince. When im walking in the halls at school I feel like every one is saying something rude about me or how ugly iam. I don't feel pretty I im not smart, I cant do anything right. I try to make myself feel better by thinking that a some guys think im pretty but I was worng the only guys I attract are users.
Chose one positive thing about your self and write it down and keep it close. Every time you feel bad about yourself read it and make yourself believe it. Change it up every so often. This is what helped me.
Why was i in this site..i think its because i have the same problem and CAN U BELIEVE it, i am in Tanzania
But i think most of the people are wrong (like the above) about everything and GOD
Though i have this problem and many other as mentioned by others, i believe GOD loved us and still love us dearly
and gave us EVERYTHING in every possible way.
Then if so; who is to BLAME and be BLAMED?
ITS us human being
Relatives, friends or supposed to be friends, society e.t.c (THE WHOLE MAN MADE HUMAN LIFE, JUDGEMENT, PRIVILEGES, PREFERENCES SYSTEM)
IMAGINE: WHAT IF YOU LOOK LIKE GOD AND YOU DONT LIKE IT OR PEOPLE DONT LIKE IT
Think and be positive GOD knows what is best for you and when to give IT to you( your best) AND YOU ARE NOT LOOSING ANYTHING
BE HAPPY, find and do what makes you happy and dont think much about what they say or do abot you though first it is difficult
ENJOY
Ronak ....Its seems you've given all your power to this woman. You are at her mercy. Be strong...You can survive and even thrive on your own. Let her know it or end up resenting her for possessing all the power in the relationship. Stand up and embrace yourself. You are worthy of that much. And your writings; maybe you have found it. The one thing that is unmistakably, beautifully you. Keep writing.
I jst don't know what to say.. it literally breaks me down.. that.. I jst don't kbow how to say it.. it all started when I got in a relationship.. aftr that.. it ended in an unjustified way.. I got no resn fir it.. I was broken.. I started wruting poetry and some sorts of phrases.. to drain all my pain on the paper.. in my diary.. people soon came to know about my writings.. they started praising.. now I hv got my resn of brkup.. and she is evn back.. looks lik an happy ending.. bt for the year when she was away.. I was broken like hell... and now.. evrythng seems basically ok.. bt its not.. still everything's wrong.. I jst don't know.. I just hate myself.. and it's all because of "preferences" they show as if they care.. bt I just don't know.. nothing seems good...