Do You Wonder Why You Hate Yourself Even When Others Like You?
It's so tragic to hear someone say I hate myself. But down deep, many people do. Do you hate yourself? It seems there are so many things in this world that attack our self-esteem and sense of worth. When you hate your life and yourself, it feels like you're in your own personal jail, full of self-loathing, desperately wanting to get out, but not believing they can.
Can You Relate to Caroline?
Others may think you are just crying out for attention. But the feelings are very real. You are miserable because of how you feel about yourself, even if it sounds exaggerated or overly dramatic. I believe you.
Caroline described her self-hatred like this: I hated myself because I thought I wasn't good enough to be in this world. I thought I was ugly, stupid, and weird. I wished I could have been someone else.
So why do people hate themselves?
We took a poll and asked what reasons you might have to hate yourself. The majority of people said it was something about their appearance, followed closely by I didn't feel loved, and then I failed at a relationship. Each of these could be their own articles.
Blame Ourselves When Bad Things Happen
When bad things happen, we often blame ourselves. It's easy to let this blame turn into self-hatred and suck the very life out of us. This can leave us depleted of any kind of self-worth or love. When bad things happen, the worst thing you can do is spiral down into self-pity.
Sometimes self-hate is emotional exhaustion from the blame game. It's important to remember that painful, challenging, and hard times are going to happen. Sometimes you just need to give yourself a break and get some rest. You will look much better to yourself when you get some rest and forgive yourself for any mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes.
Rejection or Abandonment
Everyone will experience rejection of some sort. It's normal. But it's difficult. Not everybody is going to love you or accept you.
But it doesn't mean you're a bad person, and that you should hate yourself because of it.
Tom wrote: I used to live consumed with thoughts about what everybody else was thinking about me. I felt like people were constantly rejecting me. All the worst things came to mind, even though there was no way of actually knowing what people were thinking. I had to quit, or else I'd go crazy.
Sometimes when people experience rejection or abandonment, they turn the responsibility onto themselves, as if they are the ones who caused the pain. Don't let what other people think about you determine what you think of yourself. The freedom you experience when you let go of this burden like Tom did, will give you great joy. He's right, it's not worth going crazy over something you really can't control.
Negative Self-Talk
Thinking poorly about yourself is kind of like self-rejection. You see something about yourself that you think is stupid or ugly and you think criticizing yourself about it will somehow make it go away. It won't. It will actually make it worse. A lot of people feel ugly. Lazy. Inadequate. It's like the whole human race suffers from deep, low self-esteem.
Mona wrote: I hate who I've become. I know there is a hardworking, honest, skinny person inside me somewhere, but most of the time I think about how far to the negative I've come, then get even angrier at myself for not working harder to become the person I know I can be.
The Fight Against Self-Hate
The fight against self-hate is an on-going battle in all of us. Some struggle with it more than others, to the point of depression and suicidal thoughts. But it seems to always be there working in the shadows, waiting to pounce on us, and take us down. One thought that has helped me in this struggle is God's love for me.
I ask myself, "Why should I hate someone God loves so much? Why should I slap Him across the face? He's the one who made me, and He did it for a very special reason." There is no one else in the whole world who is just like you or me. Isn't that incredible? That person, YOU, is worth loving.
So how do you climb out of the dark hole of self-hate? Check out 5 Things to Think or Do When You Hate Yourself.
I hate myself because no one ever gets me what I actually want. I always think it's because of my behavior, even though I'm not being bad at all!
It's not that I have a bad life its just I never feel as if I do eniugh, I can't seem to be able to find a job that pays enough to stay caught up on bills I'm not behind but its hard and then whenever I try help so.eone out it leaves me with nothing.. So then I need help and I end up where I am now sitting in my car feeling like I'm a waste of space and shouldn't even be here. I starting g having a panic attack trouble breathing and I just don't ha e the will to go anywhere with things I really hate who I am and I want to change but... I can't.
I hate my life I'm 11 years old my dad always yells at me I have a feeling I'm going to military school soon, but its school and what I'm aloud to do that's the problem! My mom says to stop acting stupped when I'm acting like myself which affense me because that's calling me stupped and I don't want to get told what to do and do it whithought having fun I got grounded about lieing about my homework yesterday but It is holidays and I still have to do homework even If I'm behind I should be able to have free time! I cant do anything, no video games, no PLAYING OUTSIDE, no making YouTube videos, no talking to my friends and I'm moving in about a month and I'm always grounded for about a month which means I cant say goodbye or anything else or play with my friends at that And I'm moving to Missouri! in a big farm and I'm homeschooled but I'm going to public school in Missouri next year, my dad said I cant go to my friends house or they cant come over so school is the only time I can meet anyone! My mom said she hates it when I hate my life but as my mom says the truth hurts but in my anger and rage "THE TRUTH HURTS"! Maybe you could just let me play with my friends and no video games, at least let me go outside! And my parents are so strict about my chores I do them slowly take my time clean the edges and under stuff (We have 4 dogs lots of hair) anyways and they say I half ass it! They say they love me and I believe them but I truffle don't in reality!
I'm 22 now and I'm about to graduate college. Although I recognize that I have had many achievements and things to be happy about, I'm insecure and hate myself to a certain extent, depending upon on my circumstances and what happening in my life. I come from a traumatically dysfunctional and economically insecure household which saw my trust, wealth, and security shatter over time. Some things I recognize to be out of my control, but I still blame myself for not being able to hedge against it. I reflect on the past and see who I was at certain points, particularly in my teen years as being tragically dull, uninspired, and humiliating at how i embarrassed myself and the friendships that shattered my sense of belonging and connection to others. As I look forward to my future, I see it hard to find good work that will help me pay for what I need and get out on my own and head in a direction i'd like to see for myself. School has taken a bit long to finish but now I head out i find it hard to leave it behind since the transition from college to work is unclear.
All of you. I've been where you are and I've been trapped in that place of self-loathing and hatred for years, but most of the issues are dealt with now. It is literally a miracle and half of it I don't even know how it happened.
I think that the problem was that I was holding double standards for myself. I loved everyone around me but thought I could never be good enough for them because they were so amazing. But then I realized... they thought the same about me. I didn't think they did but the problem was I was shutting down all the positive stuff they told me, and I was only trying to find negatives.
And if you think that nobody love you, you are wrong. Every single person on this planet is loved by someone. Sometimes it seems like nobody does because we just aren't recognizing it, or they aren't showing us in the way we need them to, but people love us. If you disappeared, trust me, people would be sad. And they are happy that you are here. If they aren't then that's they're problem because of all of you are fucking amazing. Every 7 billion of you.
Love you all. Remember that if you're hating yourself, you are the one thinking wrong. The truth is still that you are all so worthy of love.