Do You Wonder Why You Hate Yourself Even When Others Like You?
It's so tragic to hear someone say I hate myself. But down deep, many people do. Do you hate yourself? It seems there are so many things in this world that attack our self-esteem and sense of worth. When you hate your life and yourself, it feels like you're in your own personal jail, full of self-loathing, desperately wanting to get out, but not believing they can.
Can You Relate to Caroline?
Others may think you are just crying out for attention. But the feelings are very real. You are miserable because of how you feel about yourself, even if it sounds exaggerated or overly dramatic. I believe you.
Caroline described her self-hatred like this: I hated myself because I thought I wasn't good enough to be in this world. I thought I was ugly, stupid, and weird. I wished I could have been someone else.
So why do people hate themselves?
We took a poll and asked what reasons you might have to hate yourself. The majority of people said it was something about their appearance, followed closely by I didn't feel loved, and then I failed at a relationship. Each of these could be their own articles.
Blame Ourselves When Bad Things Happen
When bad things happen, we often blame ourselves. It's easy to let this blame turn into self-hatred and suck the very life out of us. This can leave us depleted of any kind of self-worth or love. When bad things happen, the worst thing you can do is spiral down into self-pity.
Sometimes self-hate is emotional exhaustion from the blame game. It's important to remember that painful, challenging, and hard times are going to happen. Sometimes you just need to give yourself a break and get some rest. You will look much better to yourself when you get some rest and forgive yourself for any mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes.
Rejection or Abandonment
Everyone will experience rejection of some sort. It's normal. But it's difficult. Not everybody is going to love you or accept you.
But it doesn't mean you're a bad person, and that you should hate yourself because of it.
Tom wrote: I used to live consumed with thoughts about what everybody else was thinking about me. I felt like people were constantly rejecting me. All the worst things came to mind, even though there was no way of actually knowing what people were thinking. I had to quit, or else I'd go crazy.
Sometimes when people experience rejection or abandonment, they turn the responsibility onto themselves, as if they are the ones who caused the pain. Don't let what other people think about you determine what you think of yourself. The freedom you experience when you let go of this burden like Tom did, will give you great joy. He's right, it's not worth going crazy over something you really can't control.
Negative Self-Talk
Thinking poorly about yourself is kind of like self-rejection. You see something about yourself that you think is stupid or ugly and you think criticizing yourself about it will somehow make it go away. It won't. It will actually make it worse. A lot of people feel ugly. Lazy. Inadequate. It's like the whole human race suffers from deep, low self-esteem.
Mona wrote: I hate who I've become. I know there is a hardworking, honest, skinny person inside me somewhere, but most of the time I think about how far to the negative I've come, then get even angrier at myself for not working harder to become the person I know I can be.
The Fight Against Self-Hate
The fight against self-hate is an on-going battle in all of us. Some struggle with it more than others, to the point of depression and suicidal thoughts. But it seems to always be there working in the shadows, waiting to pounce on us, and take us down. One thought that has helped me in this struggle is God's love for me.
I ask myself, "Why should I hate someone God loves so much? Why should I slap Him across the face? He's the one who made me, and He did it for a very special reason." There is no one else in the whole world who is just like you or me. Isn't that incredible? That person, YOU, is worth loving.
So how do you climb out of the dark hole of self-hate? Check out 5 Things to Think or Do When You Hate Yourself.
A little extra for my topic if it's accepted, I hate myself for another reason, which is good and bad, I am to strong, actually, but not fast. I can withstand getting hit with a metal bar which my little sister found outside and played with, and "accidently" hit my head, and it barely hurt, and she always uses all her strength when she hits me, that's the good part. But the bad part is when I get mad, I beat up the relative that makes me mad, might be me even, but once my dad did something bad to me, I became so red that I felt the heat on me, which happens a few times, and beat him so hard
Im a 12 year old boy. Through most of my life, I always knew my family always hated me, maybe not my mother, but everyone else did. If I wasn't even born, my mother wouldn't break her arms. And whenever I pray or dream of something, the exact opposite happens. Literally, if I wasn't born, life would be better for my friends, and other people, and me too. The only reason I actually went here is I'm tired of keeping that in my head, cause I eventually forget everything I need to remember from school. I'm 12, and I'm already fat. The only good thing in me was my intellect. But because of me being stupid, I introduced my self to video games, which ruined my grades, I try to stop every single day, but fail, for the only place my soul, and will are strong is in school, and when I walk, cause both my legs have infinite pain, not like for a day or week, but for 5 months already. So that off topic, just mentioned as part of my life. By the way, God never helped me, and as I said, I only have my soul and will in school, so I can't do anything about,p that, for I try to finish all my homework and classwork in class, cause I know where I'll end up, Friday homework detentions and last time I had it, they said I'll get a suspension, if it's school suspension, it's it's onw nightmare, but if it's home suspension, mom's gonna load me with work, which I must do, and I actually always try, and give 200% effort, but, for people like me, computer helps when I have stress, and with my middle school, almost high school sister, life is bad, so I have two people who ruin my life, me and my sister, and I tend to stay in my room, as to not ruin someone else's life, which I do, and I only got one friend who has time to hangout with me, thought we have different interests, and I have many real life interests, the rest of my friends, either have better friends than a kid like me, or just pretend for the free candy I give out, thought I don't care, so I only have I real friend, and a few video game players that actually care about me, and are interested about my life, unlike my family. And I got way more stresses, just to much for once. And sometimes comes the thought to jump off a bridge, ok, the last part is extra private, but I guess none of you are my school/class mates, or even relatives, so I'll just say it, oh and please do t answer by telling it to someone you trust, cause I don't trust my family, and my friends always tell it to one another. So the private part, I love a girl, actuall love, not just like, cause some will say you don't know what love is, I actually do, and I fell worse than her when she has a bad day, cause I care for her, and as everyone knows, no one will like a person like me, so can anyone tell me a way to stop thinking of her, cause my heart breaks at the thought of never being with her. I won't tell her name, cause incase someone is from my school, still those who know me might visit this, and they will know the girl.
I hate myself I have no friends nobody seems to understand me even my mother seems to be stuck with me. Nobody likes me nobody enjoys my company I cannot even get the guy I like because am a pathetic loner... I honestly do not want to commit suicide but if I see the boat of death I would definitely be a passenger because am tired of living life or never mind I have no life no relationship and no friends...
I have some days where I'm happy but then I have days where I hate myself and I get bullied and think I should just end my life and I hate feeling this way but I don't know what to do anymore
Bullying is serious stuff and it can affect how you feel. Watch this video of someone who was being bullied and struggled with depression, but contacted TheHopeLine and is doing great now! We are here for you 24/7 https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/ There is hope!
https://youtu.be/9HXUao1tzmE
That doesn't sound like you are huge at all. I am sorry you are struggling with how you feel about yourself. Sometimes our self-image comes from negative people in our life, but it's not the truth about who we really are. We want to listen and encourage. Please chat with us online anytime 24/7 https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/