Do You Wonder Why You Hate Yourself Even When Others Like You?
It's so tragic to hear someone say I hate myself. But down deep, many people do. Do you hate yourself? It seems there are so many things in this world that attack our self-esteem and sense of worth. When you hate your life and yourself, it feels like you're in your own personal jail, full of self-loathing, desperately wanting to get out, but not believing they can.
Can You Relate to Caroline?
Others may think you are just crying out for attention. But the feelings are very real. You are miserable because of how you feel about yourself, even if it sounds exaggerated or overly dramatic. I believe you.
Caroline described her self-hatred like this: I hated myself because I thought I wasn't good enough to be in this world. I thought I was ugly, stupid, and weird. I wished I could have been someone else.
So why do people hate themselves?
We took a poll and asked what reasons you might have to hate yourself. The majority of people said it was something about their appearance, followed closely by I didn't feel loved, and then I failed at a relationship. Each of these could be their own articles.
Blame Ourselves When Bad Things Happen
When bad things happen, we often blame ourselves. It's easy to let this blame turn into self-hatred and suck the very life out of us. This can leave us depleted of any kind of self-worth or love. When bad things happen, the worst thing you can do is spiral down into self-pity.
Sometimes self-hate is emotional exhaustion from the blame game. It's important to remember that painful, challenging, and hard times are going to happen. Sometimes you just need to give yourself a break and get some rest. You will look much better to yourself when you get some rest and forgive yourself for any mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes.
Rejection or Abandonment
Everyone will experience rejection of some sort. It's normal. But it's difficult. Not everybody is going to love you or accept you.
But it doesn't mean you're a bad person, and that you should hate yourself because of it.
Tom wrote: I used to live consumed with thoughts about what everybody else was thinking about me. I felt like people were constantly rejecting me. All the worst things came to mind, even though there was no way of actually knowing what people were thinking. I had to quit, or else I'd go crazy.
Sometimes when people experience rejection or abandonment, they turn the responsibility onto themselves, as if they are the ones who caused the pain. Don't let what other people think about you determine what you think of yourself. The freedom you experience when you let go of this burden like Tom did, will give you great joy. He's right, it's not worth going crazy over something you really can't control.
Negative Self-Talk
Thinking poorly about yourself is kind of like self-rejection. You see something about yourself that you think is stupid or ugly and you think criticizing yourself about it will somehow make it go away. It won't. It will actually make it worse. A lot of people feel ugly. Lazy. Inadequate. It's like the whole human race suffers from deep, low self-esteem.
Mona wrote: I hate who I've become. I know there is a hardworking, honest, skinny person inside me somewhere, but most of the time I think about how far to the negative I've come, then get even angrier at myself for not working harder to become the person I know I can be.
The Fight Against Self-Hate
The fight against self-hate is an on-going battle in all of us. Some struggle with it more than others, to the point of depression and suicidal thoughts. But it seems to always be there working in the shadows, waiting to pounce on us, and take us down. One thought that has helped me in this struggle is God's love for me.
I ask myself, "Why should I hate someone God loves so much? Why should I slap Him across the face? He's the one who made me, and He did it for a very special reason." There is no one else in the whole world who is just like you or me. Isn't that incredible? That person, YOU, is worth loving.
So how do you climb out of the dark hole of self-hate? Check out 5 Things to Think or Do When You Hate Yourself.
I hate myself because i feel i dont deserve what i have. I am told i am lucky by family and have everything i could ever want but i am not happy. Its not that i want more because i dont, and i would never ever ask for more of anyone else, i am just not happy. I fake smiles everywhere i go (known as the person who always laughs and is always happy) but even after a long time of faking it until you make it acting doesnt cut it anymore. I also will not tell ANYONE because i know how rare happiness can be amd i dont want to take them away from theirs. The stress im under is a million times worse then my siblings and they admit that it is too. My mom expects me to be perfect in everyway. I brought home a grade of 98 and went overjoyed to show her and instead of receiving a good job i got a long talk about how i needed to "strive for perfection" versus when one of my siblings got a 90 (in a easy class) my mom was overjoyed and gave them praise. I cant sleep at night, i told my parents and they said to close my eyes and ill be fine. I get on average 5 ours of sleep and spend about 4 hours trying to fall asleep every single night, and when i do sleep its nightmares.The chores, expectations, problems, and stress break me down inside and i cant help but feeling like:
wow, whats wrong with me?
I have a desire to be smart, to be strong, and to most of all, to be happy; I can never get there if what im facing wont leave me be.
All these people saying you are loved whether you know it or not. Its not true in every case. Here with me, I know thats false. I am hated by most people. Even family members say they hate me and they want me out.
I have had 'friends' who have plotted to kill me on many occasions. No one truly cares for me. The currents friends I have now, not the ones mentioned previous, arent that bothered about me. They always find something to put me down with. And when they need help because they have gotten themselves into a bit of trouble, they want me then. After that they just push me to the side.
The only person who ever truly cared for me was the closest friend I ever had. She had told me one night that she loved me more than she has anyone else. The next day she comes to me and says that she is interested in someother guy. To this day she still claims she has no feelings for me.
This just goes to show all these articles are wrong. Not everyone is loved.
I think whatever I do it turns to ash! im suck at everything and I cant handle it anymore! I feel sorry for my mum and dad
i don't know what to do any more and i really really need help!
I mostly hate myself because it seems like everyone else has everything at least reasonably together while I'm not at all. I can't get rid of a simple swearing addiction (Saying "Oh my God" when I'm not talking to God and constantly saying swear words), I can't follow the Bible for the life of me even when I try, and I just cannot get rid of my pansexuality. I know no one's perfect but I'm as imperfect as possible. I just want to please God without lying to myself over who I am. If I can't even change the way I talk or who I show romantic interest for in return for everything Jesus has done to make a way for everyone including me do get to Heaven if we follow him, why should I be allowed to even live? I should be cast straight into Hell.
Please don't respond to this by saying I shouldn't believe in God or be Christian. I'm not becoming an Athiest nor am I converting to anything else because I truly believe the truth of Jesus Christ. My problem is that I can't repent because I'm too stupid and too sinful to possibly help people get to Heaven. It's almost like I don't have any self control. I'm not truly repenting if I'm not willingly trying not to sin. So the only options for me are to just wait to die so I can finally be thrown into Hell or just end it now.
I don't think God even loves me. Seriously. There is such deep hatred since childhood. I am socially unaccepted and I'm turning my 13 y/o into me. I wish I could disappear but I have too many responsibilities to just go away, so I'm trapped in a hell I can't explain. Maybe this is why my brother ended his life.