Do You Wonder Why You Hate Yourself Even When Others Like You?
It's so tragic to hear someone say I hate myself. But down deep, many people do. Do you hate yourself? It seems there are so many things in this world that attack our self-esteem and sense of worth. When you hate your life and yourself, it feels like you're in your own personal jail, full of self-loathing, desperately wanting to get out, but not believing they can.
Can You Relate to Caroline?
Others may think you are just crying out for attention. But the feelings are very real. You are miserable because of how you feel about yourself, even if it sounds exaggerated or overly dramatic. I believe you.
Caroline described her self-hatred like this: I hated myself because I thought I wasn't good enough to be in this world. I thought I was ugly, stupid, and weird. I wished I could have been someone else.
So why do people hate themselves?
We took a poll and asked what reasons you might have to hate yourself. The majority of people said it was something about their appearance, followed closely by I didn't feel loved, and then I failed at a relationship. Each of these could be their own articles.
Blame Ourselves When Bad Things Happen
When bad things happen, we often blame ourselves. It's easy to let this blame turn into self-hatred and suck the very life out of us. This can leave us depleted of any kind of self-worth or love. When bad things happen, the worst thing you can do is spiral down into self-pity.
Sometimes self-hate is emotional exhaustion from the blame game. It's important to remember that painful, challenging, and hard times are going to happen. Sometimes you just need to give yourself a break and get some rest. You will look much better to yourself when you get some rest and forgive yourself for any mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes.
Rejection or Abandonment
Everyone will experience rejection of some sort. It's normal. But it's difficult. Not everybody is going to love you or accept you.
But it doesn't mean you're a bad person, and that you should hate yourself because of it.
Tom wrote: I used to live consumed with thoughts about what everybody else was thinking about me. I felt like people were constantly rejecting me. All the worst things came to mind, even though there was no way of actually knowing what people were thinking. I had to quit, or else I'd go crazy.
Sometimes when people experience rejection or abandonment, they turn the responsibility onto themselves, as if they are the ones who caused the pain. Don't let what other people think about you determine what you think of yourself. The freedom you experience when you let go of this burden like Tom did, will give you great joy. He's right, it's not worth going crazy over something you really can't control.
Negative Self-Talk
Thinking poorly about yourself is kind of like self-rejection. You see something about yourself that you think is stupid or ugly and you think criticizing yourself about it will somehow make it go away. It won't. It will actually make it worse. A lot of people feel ugly. Lazy. Inadequate. It's like the whole human race suffers from deep, low self-esteem.
Mona wrote: I hate who I've become. I know there is a hardworking, honest, skinny person inside me somewhere, but most of the time I think about how far to the negative I've come, then get even angrier at myself for not working harder to become the person I know I can be.
The Fight Against Self-Hate
The fight against self-hate is an on-going battle in all of us. Some struggle with it more than others, to the point of depression and suicidal thoughts. But it seems to always be there working in the shadows, waiting to pounce on us, and take us down. One thought that has helped me in this struggle is God's love for me.
I ask myself, "Why should I hate someone God loves so much? Why should I slap Him across the face? He's the one who made me, and He did it for a very special reason." There is no one else in the whole world who is just like you or me. Isn't that incredible? That person, YOU, is worth loving.
So how do you climb out of the dark hole of self-hate? Check out 5 Things to Think or Do When You Hate Yourself.
I hate myself. Just saying that makes me a little bit nervous because I think people will think I am just crying out for attention. Or that the only reason I say it is so they can call me pretty. But the truth is, is that I don't even believe them when they say it. It actually annoys me because I know they are lying. I hate every. Single. Thing. Nothing is right about me. Not one thing. I wish there was at least ONE thing I liked. But no. My hair is frizzy and hard to style. My eyes are dark brown. My eyelashes are short. My nose is a weird shape. My lips aren't big enough. My teeth aren't white enough. My ears are too small. My hands and feet are too big. I have a very flat figure. I am not social enough. I am not funny enough. I am not smart enough. And the saddest thing is, is that I will never be any of these. I will Never live up to the expectation I want because it's impossible. And that's the saddest part
I have an awful family besides my mom and dad's gf, I have uneven eyes, I have no true friends, I grew up too fast (not medical), I can't eat healthy as I love sweets, I hate my hair, I cry multiple times every day, my family doesn't have much money, my parents are divorced, my fake friends and family always put me down, and I end up living most of my life in my bedroom. I hate myself🤐
hi everyone
i have felt like this for years now. was a loner for many years, got involved with the wrong men, had haters on the job and life just spiraled down. subsequent to feeling bad about myself i made lots of very bad choices on and on. i would always tell myself my mother didnt love me or she favored my brothers to me, and that did not help ,my self image. had lots of financial stress and actual rejection from her as a result of my actions in some instances and never made amends with her before she died. now i feel worthless and hopeless. i have no joy no hope no drive no passion no motivation. i ask god to end my life often and then i drink lots of sodas hoping my kidney will fail or something else will end my painful existence. life is not easy. the only thing i have to say thanks for is im workin now when i hadnt been for many years. family didnt care. i keep existing when i dont want to and i dont have friends that i can really share my ups and downs with. im afraid to open myself up to new people really so i put up this hard shell and act like i dont need anyone when my hallow empty soul is crying and dying for some help and hope and happiness. i just keep waking up and putting one foot in front o fthe other. i wish i had the courage to end it all but with my luck i probably wont even do that right and end up maimed or crippled or a vegetable. god help me i need something to live for. i have no man no kids no life and i truly dont want to be here becuase i cant stant to look at myself in the mirror. why wont god take me. why leave me here to suffer like this. any help or advice is welcomer.
No you can't let yourself feel like that! I want to form a group where we can all talk in person. Technology taking over the world isn't helping any of us. I'm contacting the creators of this site, the hope line. You don't want your kidneys to fail I work at an infusion center where people get chemo every day I ask how they are doing and they tell me they are blast I don't understand this as chemo kills every cell in your body but they are fighters and believers
I am still very young, but that doesn't mean I haven't felt self hatred. I try hard, but the world around says it's not enough. I know, deep inside I am enough. That doesn't help. I contemplate life and death for most of my free time. It is a delicate and strange thing. I have been slowly getting better, focusing more on life and my blessings. Hopefully, the world will decide that we can lose the labels.
--Someone who Cares
Feel no one cares I walked downstairs in front of my family cuz they kept yelling for to come down I walked down eyes swollen have red all over my face because I've been crying in my room no one cared or paid attention to that matter I feel like a mistake been holding this in in for years and it finally comes out at once at the worst time. I just want it to stop because I'm to weak to kill myself. If tried to but I can't bring myself to do it. I've been left behind by friends just please some tell me one good thing I should do should I run away? Idk I read this blog but it's not helping me I want a new life but maybe running away would be to risky should I just wait till I can move out?