Do You Wonder Why You Hate Yourself Even When Others Like You?
It's so tragic to hear someone say I hate myself. But down deep, many people do. Do you hate yourself? It seems there are so many things in this world that attack our self-esteem and sense of worth. When you hate your life and yourself, it feels like you're in your own personal jail, full of self-loathing, desperately wanting to get out, but not believing they can.
Can You Relate to Caroline?
Others may think you are just crying out for attention. But the feelings are very real. You are miserable because of how you feel about yourself, even if it sounds exaggerated or overly dramatic. I believe you.
Caroline described her self-hatred like this: I hated myself because I thought I wasn't good enough to be in this world. I thought I was ugly, stupid, and weird. I wished I could have been someone else.
So why do people hate themselves?
We took a poll and asked what reasons you might have to hate yourself. The majority of people said it was something about their appearance, followed closely by I didn't feel loved, and then I failed at a relationship. Each of these could be their own articles.
Blame Ourselves When Bad Things Happen
When bad things happen, we often blame ourselves. It's easy to let this blame turn into self-hatred and suck the very life out of us. This can leave us depleted of any kind of self-worth or love. When bad things happen, the worst thing you can do is spiral down into self-pity.
Sometimes self-hate is emotional exhaustion from the blame game. It's important to remember that painful, challenging, and hard times are going to happen. Sometimes you just need to give yourself a break and get some rest. You will look much better to yourself when you get some rest and forgive yourself for any mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes.
Rejection or Abandonment
Everyone will experience rejection of some sort. It's normal. But it's difficult. Not everybody is going to love you or accept you.
But it doesn't mean you're a bad person, and that you should hate yourself because of it.
Tom wrote: I used to live consumed with thoughts about what everybody else was thinking about me. I felt like people were constantly rejecting me. All the worst things came to mind, even though there was no way of actually knowing what people were thinking. I had to quit, or else I'd go crazy.
Sometimes when people experience rejection or abandonment, they turn the responsibility onto themselves, as if they are the ones who caused the pain. Don't let what other people think about you determine what you think of yourself. The freedom you experience when you let go of this burden like Tom did, will give you great joy. He's right, it's not worth going crazy over something you really can't control.
Negative Self-Talk
Thinking poorly about yourself is kind of like self-rejection. You see something about yourself that you think is stupid or ugly and you think criticizing yourself about it will somehow make it go away. It won't. It will actually make it worse. A lot of people feel ugly. Lazy. Inadequate. It's like the whole human race suffers from deep, low self-esteem.
Mona wrote: I hate who I've become. I know there is a hardworking, honest, skinny person inside me somewhere, but most of the time I think about how far to the negative I've come, then get even angrier at myself for not working harder to become the person I know I can be.
The Fight Against Self-Hate
The fight against self-hate is an on-going battle in all of us. Some struggle with it more than others, to the point of depression and suicidal thoughts. But it seems to always be there working in the shadows, waiting to pounce on us, and take us down. One thought that has helped me in this struggle is God's love for me.
I ask myself, "Why should I hate someone God loves so much? Why should I slap Him across the face? He's the one who made me, and He did it for a very special reason." There is no one else in the whole world who is just like you or me. Isn't that incredible? That person, YOU, is worth loving.
So how do you climb out of the dark hole of self-hate? Check out 5 Things to Think or Do When You Hate Yourself.
I am a 15 year old student. Since my early years i have been told by my dear ones that i am a girl full of talents and potentials. i guess that is true, too. But the thing is that i can't concentrate on my studies AT ALL! As a result, i am not as good a student as i was(and should be). I stay in front of the books all day, not getting anything in my head. I am intelligent in cases of problems, but what use is talent if not supplemented by work? Since i stay fixed at my place all day, i also dont get to do any physical activity, and hence i am very fat (so ugly looking). I know i can change all this, but i am so depressed that i just cant get myself moving. I get so depressed and a majority of my time gets wasted on crying. All i want is to hibernate for something like, oh, 30 years maybe? I know this is really a pathetic state of mind. Some help maybe?
find that one thing you are good at and concentrate on it, forget about the rest. be happy with just one thing and it's a step in the right direction. the rest should just fall into place as it will, not always as you want it to be. if all else goes you will at least have that one thing. mine is cooking. as much as I hate myself and as bad at things as I think I am, I have cooking. I am good at it and it's the one thing I have that I am happy about. You just need that one thing
Hello,
A thoughtful article about the subject. It sheds some light on some of key points that can help left me up or reflect. I reach to this site while searching Google under the subject "I hate who I am". I don't hate my-self! I hate the way I am. I can't catch all the points that support this feeling. When I write something concerning the situation, something else jumps into my mind. It looks like an endless process! This attack on my-self should be stopped. It is not me who fires on me! I think I need a support of someone. Someone knowledgeable/ a specialist. At least to help me nail down those disturbing thoughts/ opinions/ feelings, figure them out clearly, arrange them and get rid of them step by step as per their effect and contribution to my situation. The article need to be read frequently. Thanks for sharing this article with us :).
I think most people these days need to seek out professional help. Like see a psychiatrist or physiologist. I did. There's nothing wrong with it
I don't know why I hate myself... I'm too young to hate myself but I do .. I feel as if I have no one to talk to .. I'm alone and no one can hear me cry .. Because I won't let them see me cry... I think I'm ugly all the time I have these moments when I feel pretty but i know I'm not ... I'm super skinny and everyone tells me that I should eat .. But if I eat to much I feel I am going to be fat ... I have not a lot of friends .. I push everyone away by being annoying or that Wat everyone says .. I also feel like I'll never find anyone to love me like I would do to them .... I have 6 siblings 4 live with me 2 live with my dad .. In both houses I feel like everyone hates me like my mom doesn't get anything ... I feel like my mom is always let me down .. I feel like I'm crying more and more lately and it won't stop ... Also my family tells me I'm going to be miserable when I get older because of the kinda person I have become . Since I feel like I'm constantly being rejected o have been being overly mean .. And I have a big heart ... I just want to love everyone but I can't honestly love any one else when I don't even love myself .. I honestly just want to give up .. And try again in another life ... My grandmother also tried talking to me once and I told her that I didn't want to turn out like my mom with 5 kids and can't keep a boyfriend... I love my family it just myself I don't ... And I'm so tired of crying this is in all honesty my last resort ... I am so ready to give up ...and only to be 15
We are here for you 24/7. We want to help with practical resources. https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/
I have no family I'm homeless now and my moms heart is being monitored because of me