Do You Wonder Why You Hate Yourself Even When Others Like You?
It's so tragic to hear someone say I hate myself. But down deep, many people do. Do you hate yourself? It seems there are so many things in this world that attack our self-esteem and sense of worth. When you hate your life and yourself, it feels like you're in your own personal jail, full of self-loathing, desperately wanting to get out, but not believing they can.
Can You Relate to Caroline?
Others may think you are just crying out for attention. But the feelings are very real. You are miserable because of how you feel about yourself, even if it sounds exaggerated or overly dramatic. I believe you.
Caroline described her self-hatred like this: I hated myself because I thought I wasn't good enough to be in this world. I thought I was ugly, stupid, and weird. I wished I could have been someone else.
So why do people hate themselves?
We took a poll and asked what reasons you might have to hate yourself. The majority of people said it was something about their appearance, followed closely by I didn't feel loved, and then I failed at a relationship. Each of these could be their own articles.
Blame Ourselves When Bad Things Happen
When bad things happen, we often blame ourselves. It's easy to let this blame turn into self-hatred and suck the very life out of us. This can leave us depleted of any kind of self-worth or love. When bad things happen, the worst thing you can do is spiral down into self-pity.
Sometimes self-hate is emotional exhaustion from the blame game. It's important to remember that painful, challenging, and hard times are going to happen. Sometimes you just need to give yourself a break and get some rest. You will look much better to yourself when you get some rest and forgive yourself for any mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes.
Rejection or Abandonment
Everyone will experience rejection of some sort. It's normal. But it's difficult. Not everybody is going to love you or accept you.
But it doesn't mean you're a bad person, and that you should hate yourself because of it.
Tom wrote: I used to live consumed with thoughts about what everybody else was thinking about me. I felt like people were constantly rejecting me. All the worst things came to mind, even though there was no way of actually knowing what people were thinking. I had to quit, or else I'd go crazy.
Sometimes when people experience rejection or abandonment, they turn the responsibility onto themselves, as if they are the ones who caused the pain. Don't let what other people think about you determine what you think of yourself. The freedom you experience when you let go of this burden like Tom did, will give you great joy. He's right, it's not worth going crazy over something you really can't control.
Negative Self-Talk
Thinking poorly about yourself is kind of like self-rejection. You see something about yourself that you think is stupid or ugly and you think criticizing yourself about it will somehow make it go away. It won't. It will actually make it worse. A lot of people feel ugly. Lazy. Inadequate. It's like the whole human race suffers from deep, low self-esteem.
Mona wrote: I hate who I've become. I know there is a hardworking, honest, skinny person inside me somewhere, but most of the time I think about how far to the negative I've come, then get even angrier at myself for not working harder to become the person I know I can be.
The Fight Against Self-Hate
The fight against self-hate is an on-going battle in all of us. Some struggle with it more than others, to the point of depression and suicidal thoughts. But it seems to always be there working in the shadows, waiting to pounce on us, and take us down. One thought that has helped me in this struggle is God's love for me.
I ask myself, "Why should I hate someone God loves so much? Why should I slap Him across the face? He's the one who made me, and He did it for a very special reason." There is no one else in the whole world who is just like you or me. Isn't that incredible? That person, YOU, is worth loving.
So how do you climb out of the dark hole of self-hate? Check out 5 Things to Think or Do When You Hate Yourself.
i hate myself. It started when my parents started to lose trust in me everytime i mess up even one grade i feel like i cant do anything right i hate myself it's the only thing i know about myself
Hi i am a 13 year-old girl in middle school. I woudnt say I hate myself, I just am insecure and unhappy with myself. Not necessarily because of my looks, although thats not even great (I am short, flat, and not very pretty) but more of my personality. I am shy. I am not good at being social and keeping a conversation with people I don't really know or a boy I never talk to. When I do talk, I feel like everything I say is weird and that they will somehow judge me for it. So many people around me, whether they are my friends, classmates, or even family members are so outgoing and are known and liked by everyone. They always know what to say and how to react to people and things. I don't. I just wish I could be "Ms Social" and be friends with everyone but I don't know how. Sometimes I tell myself its just a phase and I will become more outgoing as I grow up, but thats not very comforting. I just wish I could change and be more like other people naturally. Everyone always says "What matters is on the inside, not the out" but what if what is on the inside isn't even that great? Then what?
I know this isn't as serious as other people on this website but it still feels good to write my feelings that are 100% genuine and hopefully get some replies. Thank you.
Just from reading what you wrote you definitely don't come across to me as weird or an attention seeker. I'm holly I'm a sophomore in high school and I battle with depression and social anxiety. Although I hate admitting I have a little bit of social anxiety, it is nothing to be ashamed about. Many times anxiety is a chemical imbalance that can be helped by taking medication. I honestly think you may have what I have. I used to never believe that I had depression/social anxiety and would always blame it on myself. But having anxiety/depression does not define you. It is a separate thing from what you are that can be helped with medication. But if you don't have depression or anxiety, what you are going through is completely normal. At 13 I'm sure no one considered me "weird", but I did always feel like that. But if you think about it, no one looks back on middle school and thinks about all the great times they had. That's normally high school or college. So do think like you're missing out on much. Also, your personality changes and develops all the time. If you don't like who you are now, don't feel like you have to be stuck with the way you are forever. But at the same time, be happy with who you are. Even if you wish some parts of you were different, always be happy at where your at at that moment. Lastly, just because some people are more social or talk more, doesn't mean they are liked any more than you are. I know plenty of people who are quieter that have tons of friends, maybe you just haven't met the right people yet. Hope this helps!
I suffer from PMDD. I hate what it does to me and what I become. The damage it causes. Its not fair. And there's no help out there because no one seems to care. I just want it to go away. I'm tired. Its so tiring. I hate me. Because this is me. I hurt people and yell and get angry. I can't be normal. It's so alone. I push my family away to keep then at a distance. They are better off. It was so stupid to think I could have what I truly wanted. Howbstupid to think that it was for me.
I am 14. I hate myself. I suck at school, I lie, and I feel like no one loves me. I feel drained, empty. I accepted Jesus into my heart a few years ago, but now I feel like He's abandoned me. I have suicidal thoughts every night and it is so exhausting trying not to give in. I feel like I can't help my family enough (we are broke). Can anyone relate to me? I need help badly, but I can't let my parents know.
Hello. I am a 19 years old girl. I suffer from mood swings. One second I am feeling happy and the other second I am totally depressed. I feel empty. For many years I have been hating myself for being this way. I am not at all consistent. I want to do something in life but I cant find myself ambitious enough to achieve any thing I like. I feel envy of every second person in my life. I am always whining and feel so down. Although I have been told by many of my teachers that i am a bright student yet I don't know how to "want" to do something I like. It feels like i have lost my ability to love people and have become too self centered to be happy. ---Envious.