Do You Wonder Why You Hate Yourself Even When Others Like You?
It's so tragic to hear someone say I hate myself. But down deep, many people do. Do you hate yourself? It seems there are so many things in this world that attack our self-esteem and sense of worth. When you hate your life and yourself, it feels like you're in your own personal jail, full of self-loathing, desperately wanting to get out, but not believing they can.
Can You Relate to Caroline?
Others may think you are just crying out for attention. But the feelings are very real. You are miserable because of how you feel about yourself, even if it sounds exaggerated or overly dramatic. I believe you.
Caroline described her self-hatred like this: I hated myself because I thought I wasn't good enough to be in this world. I thought I was ugly, stupid, and weird. I wished I could have been someone else.
So why do people hate themselves?
We took a poll and asked what reasons you might have to hate yourself. The majority of people said it was something about their appearance, followed closely by I didn't feel loved, and then I failed at a relationship. Each of these could be their own articles.
Blame Ourselves When Bad Things Happen
When bad things happen, we often blame ourselves. It's easy to let this blame turn into self-hatred and suck the very life out of us. This can leave us depleted of any kind of self-worth or love. When bad things happen, the worst thing you can do is spiral down into self-pity.
Sometimes self-hate is emotional exhaustion from the blame game. It's important to remember that painful, challenging, and hard times are going to happen. Sometimes you just need to give yourself a break and get some rest. You will look much better to yourself when you get some rest and forgive yourself for any mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes.
Rejection or Abandonment
Everyone will experience rejection of some sort. It's normal. But it's difficult. Not everybody is going to love you or accept you.
But it doesn't mean you're a bad person, and that you should hate yourself because of it.
Tom wrote: I used to live consumed with thoughts about what everybody else was thinking about me. I felt like people were constantly rejecting me. All the worst things came to mind, even though there was no way of actually knowing what people were thinking. I had to quit, or else I'd go crazy.
Sometimes when people experience rejection or abandonment, they turn the responsibility onto themselves, as if they are the ones who caused the pain. Don't let what other people think about you determine what you think of yourself. The freedom you experience when you let go of this burden like Tom did, will give you great joy. He's right, it's not worth going crazy over something you really can't control.
Negative Self-Talk
Thinking poorly about yourself is kind of like self-rejection. You see something about yourself that you think is stupid or ugly and you think criticizing yourself about it will somehow make it go away. It won't. It will actually make it worse. A lot of people feel ugly. Lazy. Inadequate. It's like the whole human race suffers from deep, low self-esteem.
Mona wrote: I hate who I've become. I know there is a hardworking, honest, skinny person inside me somewhere, but most of the time I think about how far to the negative I've come, then get even angrier at myself for not working harder to become the person I know I can be.
The Fight Against Self-Hate
The fight against self-hate is an on-going battle in all of us. Some struggle with it more than others, to the point of depression and suicidal thoughts. But it seems to always be there working in the shadows, waiting to pounce on us, and take us down. One thought that has helped me in this struggle is God's love for me.
I ask myself, "Why should I hate someone God loves so much? Why should I slap Him across the face? He's the one who made me, and He did it for a very special reason." There is no one else in the whole world who is just like you or me. Isn't that incredible? That person, YOU, is worth loving.
So how do you climb out of the dark hole of self-hate? Check out 5 Things to Think or Do When You Hate Yourself.
I am 20 but people say that I'm still like a Kid.I am a College goer and i'm studying Science.subject That I'm Studying Is Quite Difficult but when I had began I thought I would do it anyway.I would work hard for it but the things didn't go as i planned.I have a very low confidence and whenever i turn my book and start to study at home,I will be prisoned by all the thoughts filled in the world...I can't stop my mind from wandering...during school i used to be a bright student,looking back at that i always took challenging subjects,thinking i will get back in that track..but this is not happening...my confidence is going very down and thats why today in exam when teacher asked me simple questions ,i couldn't answer....not because i didn't know but because i had been feeling very down.....i felt myself to be an alien infront of her...i'm sure she might have thought that i am the most weaker person in the whole college....i am feeling so humiliated i cant tell you...i have become a dumbest person in the world....my brain's negativity stops myself before i try to hard work and that ultimately leads to humiliation....quitting subject is not an option because I have come really far...and my low self esteem is not letting me to raise....i think i will reach nowhere in my life.. 🙁
Hi Nikki. You might want to clarify what you mean why people say you are "still like a Kid." It may be that there are issues coming up in your like now that you are older that were never dealt with before and is affecting your studies. You are smart and bright, but maybe there are emotional issues that cannot be ignored or covered up by "working hard." I would encourage you to speak with someone you trust or perhaps a school counselor about whatever issue is causing you to feel "humiliated." I think it is deeper than not being able to answer a question in class. I hope you are able to resolve this because you can definitely have a bright and happy future.
All I can say is life sometimes is crap
We all. Have it hard sometimes I'm nearly 40 and life still stucks please don't give up though I came on this site really needing something or someone to make me feel better about myself u know what that's not happened but I've read so many of ur sad emails all of u young with all of ur lives to live that now I feel I want to help inspire u
My life has not been easy
But I do have a grt hubby and 2 grt kids although all of them are my symptom of my angrer! Please forgive me for that
But I read most of ur comments and ur all at least 10 yrs younger than me and I want to encourage u all to keep going life Is crap a lot of the time, friends are crap most of the time, family is crap most of the time, but somehow u get through all the crap to achieve ur goal. please keep going
I feel your pain.
life sucks, I am in horrible pain, and I feel pathetic.
suicide is never the answer..................you may end up somewhere worse
I wish you all the best
all we can do is try to have better tomorrow
Please stop saying these things about ur self u are none of those things if other people say that they r def not ur friends and u need to walk away ( talk to the hand baby) u are not a silly person why are u believing all this about ur self u and I don't even know each other a good phase I hear all the time not sure I think if fits but anyway It worked for me last time don't know why ( MAN UP )in the nicest way don't let them get u down.
There are manh reason I hate myself.. And I might as well explain.
1. Faces.. Everyone has different faces whoever they are but in public I dispise mine.
2. I screw up everything in my life, relatioships and friends and always doing the wrong thing at the wrong time.
3. I'm butt ugly. Everyone I know has someone close to their heart and well I'm just me. Somedays I prefer it to be that way but other days I can only blame me as the problem
4. Deep down inside of me I feel this little bit if evilness and meaness that I want to let out but I often know that is the wrong thing.. But it lets itself one way or another so adventually I screw up the things and people that mattered most to me.
5. I'm very stupid.
Savannah, We want you to know you are loved and that you are beautiful, smart and worthy! Please call or chat with a HopeCoach that cares anytime 24/7 at 800.394.4673. If you want download our free app to your phone to chat, call, email and get encouraged here is the link to download it. http://thehope.dm/thlmobileapp
Oh no, ftw...I did not mean go out and run. I have had surgery on my back so I cannot run, but I do try to walk regularly. Sometimes my back hurts even when I walk, but then I slow down. I said be sure to see your doctor and get a medical clearance before you do anything physical, cause you do not want to hurt yourself more, but I just recommend listening to motivational audio books or podcasts that you can do while you exercise or drive in your car. It helps to listen and get encouragement daily because life can be challenging, but we need to reach out and not suffer in silence. I am glad that we can connect on this website. Sharing our struggles helps other people. We can utilize our gifts, like art and writing to share ourselves with other people. And as we do this, we feel better because we connect with others.
K
It easy go some one to talk about getting out and doing something about your life when there's nothing wrong with ya. But me I can't get out and run, like I said my back and hip are messed up. My big thing when I was younger was ridding a 21 speed bycycle cross country, but now I can't get on a bike without hurting myself, I tried about 6 months ago and every peddle was to painful to enjoy.