Being Honest About My Depression Just Got Me Lectures
I’ve been struggling with depression for 3 and a half years. I kept my depression from my family because being honest with my mom about what I’m dealing with has only ever led to lectures. I don’t feel like they care about me. I feel like they just want me there to clean the house so they can stay in their rooms all day. All these feelings fueled my depression and took a toll on me every day.
I Couldn’t Take it Anymore
It was getting to a point I couldn’t take much more. So one time I took a sharp knife, and I was trying to convince myself to just end it. The only thing that stopped me was the little bit of hope I had left.
I moved in with a family friend shortly after this, but found out the friend was a pathological liar and a drug addict. This all messed with my mind as well, and I got to a point I was desperate to stop hurting. I couldn’t cope with my past or my present, so I started cutting myself.
I Had Anger Towards God
For a long time, I thought God was responsible for everything I’ve been through and that caused me to feel a lot of anger towards Him. But then one night I chatted with The Hopeline, and the HopeCoach I talked to helped me realize God is not responsible for the bad things in my life. Satan is. I understood the truth they were telling me that God is not capable of being bad. This understanding has allowed me to not be angry at Him anymore. With this new perspective, I’m reading The Bible and trying to get to know Him and build a relationship with Him.
TheHopeLine Has Been There For Me
I still struggle with self-harm but focusing on the positives helps, and every day it gets a little easier not to give in to it. TheHopeLine has been there for me when I’ve needed someone to talk to and help me off the ledge. They helped me realize God will always love me and He will never leave me or hurt me, and nothing I have done or will do could change that. – Brittany
Do You Need Help For Depression or Self-Harm?
If you are struggling with depression or self-harm, like Brittany, you are not alone. We are here to listen and help you with what is going on in your life. Chat online with a HopeCoach for a free, non-judgmental, live chat with a real person.
Resources for Depression:
- Find out how blogger Jessica Seale found strength and hope in the bible for depression and suicidal thoughts: Why I Live: Depression, Suicide and the Bible
- Contact our partner, Focus on the Family, for a free counseling consultation and referral service.
- Free eBook from TheHopeLine: Understanding Depression
Resources for Self-Harm:
- This checklist gives you 15 Ways to Distract Yourself from Self-harm.
- Contact our partner, Door of Hope, for emotional support, guidance and resources for self-injury.
- Free eBook from TheHopeLine: Understanding Self-Harm and Cutting
If you or a friend need support right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, for free confidential, 24/7 help. For a list of crisis centers around the world and additional help, please visit the suicide prevention resource page.
Photo by Adeboro Odunlami