What to do if you are being bullied

If You Are Being Bullied: What to Do

Did you know that 1 in 7 students in grades K-12 is either a bully or a victim of bullying? Or how about the fact that 90% of 4th - 8th graders report being victims of bullying. If you are being bullied, you're not alone.

Sometimes we're bullies to our own friends and don't even realize it. You have a group of friends, and everyone is mad at one for some reason and you ostracize that person from your group. You say mean things, you make them feel left out on purpose, you see them coming and make it a point to show them that you're ignoring them. A week or so later you all become friends again and are on to being mad at the next person. This is bullying.

The dictionary defines bullying as, "someone who keeps doing or saying things to have power over another person."

Listen to our call with Morgan who suffered deeply from being bullied in school. Now she's in college and has a huge desire to help others who are being bullied.

What is bullying?

Ways people bully are name-calling, saying/writing nasty things about another, making them feel left out of activities on purpose for malicious reasons, making a noticeable point to not talk to them, making someone feel uncomfortable or scared, taking/damaging their belongings, making people do something they don't want to do. Hitting, kicking, knocking things out of one's hands, pushing, shoving, etc. are also bullying.

There are a lot of reasons why someone bullies. They may see it as a way to be in control when many things in their world are spiraling out of control. Others may bully because they feel it makes them popular or they think others find it funny and they are trying to entertain. Some bullies bully because that's the only way they can get attention. It could also be because they are jealous of the person they're bullying. They may be getting bullied themselves and so they bully others that they perceive as weaker. Some bullies don't even understand that they're bullying or how the person they bully truly feels.


1. Do Not Fight Back!

It can be hard, and some may tell you to fight back, but it's never the answer. If you give in to a bully and fight back, you may get in trouble instead of the bully! Don't bully a bully, because in the end you become a bully yourself.

2. Tell the Bully to Stop and Calmly Walk Away.

Believe it or not, this can be very effective. Practice with a friend, an adult, or with yourself in a mirror on things you can say. Practice saying it in a firm and direct way with confidence in your voice. Believing in yourself and telling others what you think can earn you respect and encourage others to stand up for themselves as well.

3. Tell an Adult.

Many times, we fear telling someone because we don't want to look weak or feel embarrassed. It may be scary at first, but an adult can help stop bullying and make things better. If the person gets in trouble, that's their problem because it was their fault for bullying. Not yours!

4. Know It's Not Your Fault.

No one deserves to be bullied ever! No matter what is going on in your life, being bullied is not your fault. Either try to stop it with the above tips or with the help of an adult. Don't ignore the problem and hope it will go away. Bullies bully because they can. Make it so they can't.


Bullies like upsetting people because it makes them feel powerful. Be in control so that the bully isn't. Confidence and having good self-esteem will help, but even if you don't feel that way at the moment, acting as you do will help. Others can't tell how you're feeling or what's going on in your head unless you show them. Even faking confidence and acting like you aren't afraid will help the situation, and maybe next time you won't need to fake it. You may find that you're pretty good at handling bullies and are able to help others when the bully finds their next victim.

Listen to my call with Miles who was bullied in middle school to the point of suicide. Miles has a story to tell about overcoming bullying. He said if he could have seen his life the way it is now...he would have never thought about hurting himself.

We're all in this together, let's start acting like it. Always keep in mind, "If you don't have anything nice to say to someone, then don't say anything at all." And remember the golden rule: "Treat others the way you would want them to treat you."

What if we lived life above the norm in extreme love; not seeking revenge, not speaking badly of our enemies, and loved the bully? Find out how here.

Tell me what you have to say about bullying in the comments below. Tell me your thoughts, encouragement and advice for those being bullied, your personal story with bullying, and kind words to encourage someone to stop being a bully.

Dawson McAllister
Dawson McAllister, also known as America's youth pastor, was an author, radio host, speaker, and founder of TheHopeLine. McAllister attended Bethel College in Minnesota for undergraduate work where he graduated in 1968, began graduate studies at Talbot School of Theology in California, and received an honorary doctorate from Biola University.
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20 comments on “What to do if you are being bullied”

  1. Personally I do not agree with step 1, I think that if you let people walk all over your a pushover and that is just my opinion but most bullies aren’t just looking for a reaction, there looking to show of, or for others to think that the bully is the victim and the victim is the bully

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