Dawson’s Blog

What To Do When We’re Mad At God

Are You Mad At God?

Girl in hospitalI’ve got to believe at some point in your life, you’ve raised your fist and shouted out in anger at God. Most of us have done it.

Maybe your parent died, or you had a friend get seriously sick, or even killed. Maybe you have cancer, or some kind of handicap. These and other serious issues enter our lives, making it easy to target God for our pain.

Someone described anger this way: Anger is a human emotional response to situations that are either out of our control or out of our ability to understand, or both.

Have you ever wondered why we get so angry at God? That’s what I want to talk about, because I can assure you that while God allows us to cry out to Him, He doesn’t want us stuck in rage towards Him.

What are some of reasons why we get mad at God?

The main reason we get so upset with God is because we think He owes us something. This usually happens in two ways:

1) We don’t get something we want.

Have you ever really wanted a relationship with that perfect girl or guy? Or you really wanted that job you knew for certain would be perfect for you? When these things didn’t work out, you no doubt found yourself hurt and disappointed. Our first impulse is almost always to blame God.

Daphne wrote: When we get mad at God it is really like a 2-year-old throwing a fit because Mommy or Daddy won’t let them stick their finger in the light socket. The 2-year-old can only see what he/she wants, the parent sees the bigger picture, and the danger. When we are mad at God we show our immaturity, ignorance, and our shortsightedness.

2) We get something we DON’T expect.

When something bad happens to someone we love, or to us, or someone gets really sick, or even dies we wonder why these things have to happen. We think of God as a big genie in the sky who should only give us good things and prevent the bad.

I received a comment from someone who said: Some people wonder why their lives end up being a certain way, and they blame God for it, because if God really cared for them, then He wouldn’t let them suffer.

For more on reconciling the goodness of God and bad things in the world read these blogs from organizations we partner with:

Where is God in the midst of tragedy?

How Can God Allow So Much Evil and Suffering?

Hands in PrayerWe think, “If God is so loving, why am I in so much pain? Is He punishing me for no reason by allowing horrible things to happen to me, or the people I love, or even the world?”

We think God owes us something.

Both of these situations can make a person feel like God doesn’t care about us. After all the prayers we’ve prayed, God still didn’t heal your brother’s cancer, or get you the job you wanted.

 Joe wrote:I have to admit that I am angry at God. The more I have prayed for help and guidance, the more I get nothing. He is ignoring me. It’s His right to do with me what He will, but I am frustrated because I have done what I think I am supposed to do and yet no response, no help.

We get angry when we think God owes us something. When in fact, God owes us nothing.

We get angry when we think God owes us something. When in fact, God owes us nothing. #madatGod Click To Tweet

A couple other reasons:

  • We get angry with God when we don’t know all the facts. It’s so easy to think we know everything, but we can only see a very small part of the picture.
  • We get angry at God when we see others claim to know Him, and then act like hypocrites. It’s easy to blame God for the faults of others.

These are just a few reasons why people get angry with God. Of course, there are many more.

How to get over being mad at God – Know what you can expect from Him.

If we think God is going to be our genie in a bottle, and make everything good in our lives, we’re going to be mad at God whMad at Goden something bad happens. Having faith in God is not insurance against hardships.

In the Bible Jesus says- “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)

So what can we expect from God?

  • His Peace – If we trust in Him and believe in Him we will have peace even in the hard times. Do you want to know how to find this peace? Begin Your Journey To Peace with this great resource from Peace With God. 
  • God Wins in the End – This world is full of sin, hate and death and that comes from the enemy, Satan, not from God. However, for all those who believe in Jesus there is glorious, eternal life in heaven.
  • His Comfort – He promises to be near those who are hurting. “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18)
  • His love – He promises His love for us. “God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.” (1 John 4:16) He loves your heart and is with you in the midst of whatever your  circumstances.
  • Life with greater meaning and significance – If we got everything we thought we wanted, we’d be spoiled and selfish. God is a wise father who knows what we need to become the best men and women we can be.

Having faith in God is not insurance against hardships. #madatGod Click To Tweet

What can you do when you are mad at God?

1) Tell him how you feel.

The best thing you can do is tell God what you’re angry about. He wants to hear from you about what you’re thinking and feeling. Tell God honestly where you are at. God knows what’s going on inside of you, but He wants to you be able to come to Him with honesty and openness.

why are you mad at God2) Place the blame for evil on Satan not on God.

God is good and Holy and perfect and loving. He is the opposite of evil. You may be mad at God because he didn’t prevent the bad from happening to you, but he is not to blame for the bad thing, Satan is.  Jesus says in the Bible “The thief’s purpose is to steal, kill and destroy. My purpose is to give life in all its fullness.” (John 10:10)

3) Pray for courage, strength and peace to make it through the day.

Betsy wrote: I find it easiest to leave everything in God’s hands and pray that he will care for me and do what’s BEST for me, not what I want, but what is best. It’s very hard, and I have trouble with that at times, but that is my overall goal.

4) Trust that God will use a hardship for something beyond what you can see.

So can God use for everything we go through for a greater purpose? I believe He can. Ask God for understanding to see the bigger picture. Over time, you may see more clearly a how God used your trial for good.

Jill wrote honestly: I feel like I have a daily tug of war with God. I know everything happens for a reason, but when you’re lonely, broke, bored, and feel helpless, it is really hard to say, okay God, I know you’re doing this for a reason.

Betsy echoed Jill’s thoughts: After many trials I learned that it is best to accept what God has done and believe that it is for my good, whether I like it or not.

Believing He does have a reason for everything we go through helps us to trust that something bigger is going on here, even more than we can probably understand. But I’m not God, He is. And I’m just going to trust that He knows what’s going on with me.

5) Get involved in other people’s lives.

A lot of our anger and frustration in life comes from thinking about ourselves too much – we think about the way things are and how different they are from how we wish they’d be.

Yevgenia wrote: One of the best things I have learned while going through this is God won’t put you through something unless he knows you will be able to overcome it. Another way I have used these things in a positive way is by using my experiences to help others who are going through similar things in their lives.

The best way to find joy and peace from the hardships of life is to get involved in other people’s lives. Take an interest in other people and their circumstances. Share in their joy and their pain.

6) Decide to have a relationship with God.

The Bible says the only way to know God is by knowing His son, Jesus. Jesus was basically God with skin-on and gave us a way to know who He is, His love, and how be in relationship with Him.

The Bible says the only way to know God is by knowing His son, Jesus. #madatGod Click To Tweet

Lucas wrote: Sometimes only God will know why He has allowed a trial and sometimes He will reveal its purpose to us. Sometimes it’s because He is preparing us for a greater thing. Sometimes it is to show to us how little we truly love Him, and to allow us to change. Trials give us an opportunity to build our faith in a way nothing else can.

How have you dealt with your own personal anger toward God? I’d love to hear from you. Please let me know how you got over being upset with God.

Do you have questions about who God is?  Check out TheHopeLine’s free eBook: Understanding a Relationship with God.

Dawson McAllister Dawson McAllister (born in New Kensington, Pennsylvania) is an American speaker, radio host, and author. He is the founder of Dawson McAllister Association and TheHopeLine and host of the national radio program Dawson McAllister Live, which is aired on Sunday nights. Dawson has been speaking to and in support of teenagers and young adults for over 40 years.
download thehopeline mobile app
TheHopeLine reads every comment. The purpose of the blogs are to provide help through the content, stories, and struggles of others. If you are looking for immediate help please click on an option above.
  • Dave Anderson

    Great blog, very helpful, love the look and feel of it, but we’ll see what others think too.

    • TheHopeLine Team

      Dave, Thank you for taking the time to give us your feedback on Dawson’s blogs. We hope that they will benefit people that come to our site with issues that are on in their lives.

  • Justin

    I have given up on god. Give thanks in all things right? I thank you god for all the promises that never happened. I thank you for leaving my family and I financially depleted. I thank you for I don’t know what. But hey thanks!

  • John

    I have given up on God to. Time and time again I pray. Am a good person. I pray and believe in God. Yet he never delivers. Thanks for ignoring me again. Thanks for ignoring me. Pray to God and find silence. It’s deafening!!

    • Jackie

      Hi John, I’m sure every time you pray you ask God to keep you safe so he’s not ignoring you. If God was ignoring you, you will not be alive. I’ve have time where I pray and nothing happens but I know he has the answers because I’m still alive which means he listen to my prayers. Quite often we doubt the word of God and we don’t have enough faith. I was meditating one time and I read something that says “What do you want me to do for you” I said to the Lord, “Lord I thought you’ll never ask” I told him everything I wanted him to do which was to get accepted to the University I applied for. I pray everyday and ask him the same thing. and yesterday I get an email that says “sorry but we are unable to offer you admission at the moment” You could just imagine how angry I am and wanting to give up. I cried myself to sleep yesterday asking God why did he ignore my prayer when that’s all I ask him for. Then this morning I saw this page and everybody is mad at God. I’m in the same boat too but then I realize why focus on what he’s not doing for me when he saved my life before and I’m alive because I have a purpose and although we’re all struggling right and asking ourselves why isn’t God helping us? he listens and he will help us his timing is always right. Please don’t give up on God, ask him to speak to your heart, don’t focus on the negative.

  • Josiah

    I’m tempted to turn my back on God. So sick of having such sinful desires creep up time and time again without understanding why, trying to confess, get involved, constantly read His word, ask for prayers, pray inconsistently . . . . and always end up back where I was feeling impossible to live life as He wants me to live it and mad at Him for having such high standards without showing me the way and want to just turn aside to other things.

  • Jeffrey

    To Josiah, John and Justin: Don’t give up on God please. I have that moments that all you told about. But when I read your comment, something inside me remind me about the story of Joshua and Caleb that believed that they could conquer the Canaan giants although the rest of the spies waver. God does promises us that we can win the battles in our life. we can only do our part and believe. it will turn out alright! don’t worry, just believe and doing your thing,don’t give up. i still have my problems just like you all do, but i feel i have more strength to endure all those. when i have any worries coming to me, i just say a quick prayer and tell God any of my worries before that worry starts eating my life. I will pray for 3 of you and please do not give up!!

  • Harriett

    It’s quite easy to be angry. But it’s easy to say trust God. I’ve never felt this lost before. I trust in God’s timing and his plan for me. Yet, I’ve been asking for his help and guidance for a long while now and nothing has changed. I read the bible as much as I can but I feel like there’s such a lack of life in my own life. I don’t want to die but I don’t enjoy living either! I’ve asked for God’s help both while content and angry and anything I do just feels numb. I love the promise of tomorrow but nothing exciting is happening in my life and I really don’t know what to do anymore. I’m sick, tired and bored of waiting! Sometimes I think how easy it would be if I wasn’t alive anymore.

    It was great though to read ‘what to do when you’re mad at God both part 1 and 2. Thanks:

  • Ellen

    I am so angry right now. My daughter who is 29 years old was suppose to have only her top teeth pulled and leave 7 teeth on the bottom. They pulled all the teeth. Her teeth were destroyed by medication when she fell and broke her leg. Now it will be a struggle to find dentures that fit right. The oral surgeon did not look at the referral and asked her when she was given laughing gas. The last 6 months have been major crisis after another major crisis. I have friends that pray but right now I am just very angry and tired.

  • NickNick

    Seven months ago my, then 19yr old son Tyler suffered a TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury) in a single car accident. I spent almost every day and night with him during the six months he was in the hospital. We just got him home two weeks ago. At first the docs said that he wouldn’t make it but he pulled through. He was considered to be in a persistent vegetative state but was upgraded to being minimally conscious. Both my wife and I care for him but I am the primary care giver for him since my wife has to work. I thought I had overcome most of my grief and had come to some understanding of all this until we got him home. It blindsided me. It was like starting the whole thing over again. I’ve spoken to my pastor about this but my anger with God is growing and I don’t know how to deal with it.

    It’s more than a full time job to care for him. He’s had C-Dif since we left the hospital and dealing with the constant diarrhea is extremely stressful for both of us. We’re trying a new medication today. Nothing so far has worked. When I was cleaning him this morning I had to ask myself “why” does God continue to make him suffer. It’s all I can stand. I am more than little angry at God and I’ve all but given up on prayer. Before the accident I asked God every day to watch over my children and keep them safe. I just can’t accept that this has a deeper meaning or that it happened for the best. I keep telling Tyler that we’ll see each other again but at this rate I don’t think I’ll be joining him in heaven.

    don w

  • Jackie

    Hey Parttimelover, I understand your frustration with GOD, and wanting to give up but please don’t! Don’t always focus on what God is not doing for you a the moment, focus on what he already has done for you. I’m 22 years old and I had cancer when I was a little girl I almost died! But God didn’t allow it. I have so many things going on in my life right now, all I asked God was to help me go to school. I was denied admission twice and as much as I want to be angry with God, I know he has the answer. He will not abandon us. My dad who lost his father, mother and his sister should be angry with God but he praises him everyday. Please don’t let the devil turn you against God, the devil wants you to give up but please don’t. God is very powerful and he wants you to be strong don’t focus on the negative. You’re still alive for a reason and you have a story to tell, don’t question God it’s okay to be angry but continue to pray and ask him to speak to your heart. “When something bad happens to you, thank God not because you’re suffering but because you know he has the answer. When things look hopeless praise him because he will bring hope to your circumstances!” More so please read Psalm 22 (verses 1-6 and 22-31). I will keep you in my prayers and don’t Give up!

  • Feelingalone

    I feel the anger building up toward God. I have been raised in church, and “know” all the right answers. But it isn’t helping now. They say use scripture, did that every time and it only worked a few times. Praying feels like talking to a wall. I have confessed my sin so many times, but still seem to keep doing it. Most of the anger I feel is due to bad things in churches. We had to leave one due to blatant sin from the Pastor which no one wanted to correct. The next was also due to the Pastor not following the church bylaws and again no one else wanting to correct it. We also finally escaped one where the Pastor placed himself as God and pretty much decided if you were saved or not. Now I am fearful of getting close to people at different churches. I don’t trust God enough after this and a few other things not to get seriously hurt again. And it scares me to be mad at God because I know I shouldn’t be.

    • jackie

      Hey,reading your comment made me realize that God is not going to stop us from sinning. Of course he doesn’t want us to do it but you have to be willing to ask him to help you not sin anymore. I’ve confessed my sins so many times as well and I also seem to keep doing it but I realize that’s because I choose to keep doing it. If you don’t want to stop, God is not going to force you stop sinning. You’re saying the scripture only worked a few times maybe it’s because your faith is not as strong as it was before, you might think praying is like talking to a wall because things in your life seems to be the same but know that every time you pray God listens and he answers when you least expect it or when he knows the time is right. It takes longer because he’s always testing us, always seeing if our faith is strong enough so please don’t give up. It’s ok to be mad but you need to tell him then ask him to speak to your heart. I’m sure you’re an amazing person don’t let the devil keep you far away from God. You can also read Psalm 22 (verses 1-6 and 22-31). I will also keep you in my prayers. God bless you!

  • Canasia

    You should turn to Gods Word to find your strength. God loves you even though you went through this. You cannot lose trust in Him over it because God never said that we would not ever be persecuted or attacked by others. We live in a fallen world & Jesus’ disciples all experienced persecution, beatings and were treated wrongfully. Even Jesus Himself was beaten and crucified so don’t feel like God wasn’t there for you. Actually God can sympathize with what you went through more than anyone because He went through pain at the hands of others Himself.

  • Eagleacres

    There is God and there is satan. I don’t believe God sent this attack. The devil did. When we are tested, we need to run to God and stay close. The devil would love to steal your faith. When he lies to you as he has been doing, remind him of the truth. Your God loves you. Your God is with you. Your God has great plans for you. Stay in the word and keep your faith in God. God never promised that we would not have trials. In fact, he said would have trials. He will always be near us though and help us through our trials. I am so sorry that this happened to you. You will be in my prayers. God loves you tremendously and can heal your hurt.

    • nan


      I was just reading your story and it broke my heart. Dear child, I can see why your trust in God is not the same. But his love for you remains. It’s going to take time. I want to remind you that Satan came to steal and destroy. We’re in the middle of a war and we will be wounded. Persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. And don’t fear those who can kill the body, rather, fear him who can destroy both soul and body. and as for Satan, let him laugh all he wants, but remember that God cannot be mocked.

      I bless you with healing. I bless you with strength. I bless you with peace. And Father, I ask that you embrace your child Kiruba in these hard times. Let him feel your love in his moment of trial and doubt. Kiruba, my Jesus loves you.

    • penny


      I was just reading your story and it broke my heart. Dear child, I can see why your trust in God is not the same. But his love for you remains. It’s going to take time. I want to remind you that Satan came to steal and destroy. We’re in the middle of a war and we will be wounded. Persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. And don’t fear those who can kill the body, rather, fear him who can destroy both soul and body. As for Satan, let him laugh all he wants, but remember that God cannot be mocked.

      I bless you with healing. I bless you with strength. I bless you with peace. And Father, I ask that you embrace your child Kiruba in these hard times. Let him feel your love in his moment of trial and doubt. Kiruba, my Jesus loves you.

      • Eric

        Hi i would like for you to pray for me as i have so.e prayer warriors but i smoke ciggarettes and will be learning and reading the word more printed on the bible i will need prayer to chan habits and love more i also would lime to hear Jesus more near because sometimes i lack but sometimes i dont and it gets hard to be a christian sometimes but i know i can overcome the world and attend church more often i also pray for kiruba and that Jesus protects him and love him and teach em good things i also would like prayer because i had some nightmares like something was destroying me in my dream it happened a few times and one time wide awake i dont know what it is but i would love a prayer warrior to pray and that people stop looking in for hustling and drugs in my home as i left that old life behind i want to be complete and not have a mental problem and that my family and Jesus be blessed if thats possible.

        • Eric, Thank you for reaching out and asking for prayer. We have another site called ThePrayerZone that is a place you can post your prayer request to and several prayer champions will pray for you. Go to http://www.theprayerzone.com to access it. We have faith in you! You can overcome this!

  • Alex

    In my journey of grief, and through meeting other grieving parents, I have noticed that those parents who said they are atheists have not struggled with anger as much as I have.
    Could anger be another way of expressing faith?

  • Thanks so much for letting us know! Looks like the item was there, but the number was missing. It is fixed now.

  • Thanks for being so honest and real. God understands our anger and our longings. We have a partner site where you can submit prayer requests – http://www.theprayerzone.com/ I will be praying that God will fill your home with the pitter-patter of little feet. Don’t give up!

  • Christy

    Hi. I am sorry to hear of your situation. I know it must be so hard for you. There s nothing in human reasoning that can explain why you went through such a situation. I do understand how you must feel so let down. I don’t know if I can help you but I pray that God will give me words to encourage. I know you feel that God did not protect you but are you sure? You came out with your life. They could have killed you. In the bible it says there will be much trouble in this life. God does not promise to keep us from all trouble. He did keep you alive so you still have a chance to have a great life but for sure it will not be great apart from Him. I know this may not offer much comfort but think about it. Here is the other thing. God trusted you. He trusted you that you have the strength to make it through this and come out victorious. You see my dear. Life is not only about us. There are many people out there who do not know Jesus and they will go to hell without Him. There will be many of them and also other Christians who may go through what you went through. However, they may not have the strength to make it through. God can be able to use you to help heal them who would not make it without you. Who can minister to them but you who understands. God can heal you totally as if this incident never happened and He can use you to help others heal. Please realize this life is not just about us. Think on these things and they may help you to have a very different perspective. Ask God to help you and ask Him how you can be able to help others. Trust Him that if something bad happened to you that He will turn it around for good. I hope this helps. I know you can overcome.

  • GodsChick

    i am sorry for what you are going through. life is really tough sometimes and people and even christians don’t have all the answers like some act like they do. i’m a christian. i have been very disillusioned lately. i still believe in God. I can’t figure him out or why he allows things. I send you good thoughts, prayers, and love. (((hug)))

  • GodsChick

    i am sorry. i don’t have any answers but i send you a hug.

  • Hopeless

    I too am very angry with God. It seems I have lost all hope. I have no family, I’m getting divorced, attorney fees are straining my financial situation, my car keeps breaking down, my grandma died, and it just seems I cannot catch a break. It’s one thing after another. I’m seeking counseling and she says I’m coping well. But it’s so painful I’m in so much pain. I’m so angry that God would allow this to happen to me. I’ve always been a very productive person, have a great job, own a home, I have a nice car, a couple of nice friends, a well-trained and behaved dog (he is what makes me happy these days), but I’ve gained 20 pounds and starting to experience migranes. I’ve been through so much since November coming out of a abusive situation and I just feel unsupported unloved all alone where is God in all this? I pray I read my Bible and then my car will break down or some other thing will happen that just is negative. I told God I hated him for allowing these things to happen to me. He is the one that allows things to happen. Just like Job, the devil went to God and asked permission to do things. God set boundaries, bit allowed the devil to take away Jobs loved ones, and belongings. And so I pray oh my God why are you allowing all this to happen to me. I’m struggling I don’t know what to do and now my car broke down again yesterday it’s insane. I don’t want to handle all of this. What is the purpose? It hurts so bad.

    • I am so sorry you are going through so much all at once. I am thankful you have a counselor and that you are getting out of an abusive situation. You sound very brave. If you just need to vent and want to chat or need encouragement, we are availabe 24/7 for you. We are here for you and we care. https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

  • Patty- My heart aches for you and the loss of your son. I have sent you a private email.

  • Bloom

    I dont know whether God is testing me or torturing me.I know he loved me so much and I dont want to see a single tear in his eyes. But I feel the pain everywhere in my body,soul and mind.No one to comfort me.Dont know if he comes,questions or what? or all my strife for him enters in vain. Numb I am. Let God’s name be praised.

  • WrestleManiac47

    Well he did not promise that we would NOT experience downfalls. In fact he said that we would experience MANY of them but “Take heart. I have overcome the world” so I would like to pass that on to you. Please don’t lose faith but Take heart and continue to trust him even though things are looking rough. You also mentioned about working. Also remember that only what you do for him will last. Everything else will not matter when you leave this earth. Right now I suffer in silence but I have come to the realization that he did too. And is it not our goal to e just like him. It’s ok to briefly be irritated towards him, it’s a normal human reaction/emotion. But if you are suffering for him and your faith doesn’t waiver while you are experiencing downfalls because you still trust in him, he will honor that. What joy awaits the ones that are suffering for him like he did for you, and they still continue to trust him. That is the only thing keeping me going. Seeing his face, his smile. The savior of the world recognizing me as someone who chose to follow him wholeheartedly even though I am at my lowest point. Instead of telling him how big your situation is, tell your situation how big your God is. Keeping our eyes/focus on him is the name of the game. Be encouraged and take heart. God bless you.

  • Ben Wicks

    Yeah right, “God won’t put us through a trial unless he feels you will overcome it” ….this is a rich statement, to say the least. Is that to say the ones who never go through a trial and breeze through life can’t handle it? Also why don’t you tell that to all the heroes families, who have come home from war and committed suicide after crying out to God for help, tell that to the chronically ill in pain who have done the same, the ones crying out to God for help due to depression, the ones who have laid everything before God and he still stays silent. Does that mean they go to hell or heaven after giving up? This is the worst statement a Christian can say, it is completely false in reality and also what scripture says. It’s a typical “feel better” statement to help someone through a struggle. But ultimately full of crap.

  • gaz

    i know how you feel im going through the same pain , dont you dare give up on god , dont let the devil in , it the devil telling you it god fault , its the devil that wants you to suffer not god . go on you tube and watch videos on the ego , the higherself and shadowmen and spirtual attachments . they will help you but dont give up on god please , i haven’tand never will . what is going on your head is coming from your ego which is the devil telling you this go to your heart center (your higherself). try healing , meadtaton and turn that neagtive thought into a postive one . i wish you well .

  • Timothy Doyle

    I never asked God for anything I only would pray if it was for a family members health. Last Friday I prayed to and to Jesus to please not take my sisters life I’ve never asked before and I never will again they let me down I’m so angry at God I’ve been a Catholic my whole life she was only 35 years old I think I’ve lost my faith don’t know if I’ll ever get it back

    • Timothy, I am so sorry about the loss of your sister. I can’t even begin to imagine the grief and loneliness of life without her. If you want to talk about it we are here for you 24/7. Just click the “chat now” button or go to this link https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp

  • Gideon Baranda

    I’ve tried my darn hardest just to do what He wants most of the time. I’ve been “humbled” by Him ever since he got me kicked out of my first university and now I’m just trying to live. I received a promise of redemption from Him that someday He’d lift me up again but with me being changed. That got through two years of this miserable life in this new awful university that doesn’t have any professors who teach at all and everything is like a self-study in a college course I personally hate that I’ve never had experience with before. Everything that I was once good at (proficiency in writing and language, skill in other subjects) have been stripped away from. But I try my best not to complain and to focus on the things that I can somewhat control. I don’t pray as much on the things that would happen tomorrow because He already told me that tomorrow has its own worries and that all I have to do is to give my all each day for Him and that would be enough. Now I’m here in the brink of exhaustion at my 3rd year in college striving in self-study but to no avail working for a future I don’t want any part of, praying for strength that doesn’t come, fighting wars on two fronts with sin and the daily struggle of living with no one actually acknowledging the fight I’m putting up just because they don’t see the spiritual side of the war and with no choice but to just accept the fact that God has made me a jester in His court. All my life I’ve been asking for His leading in some way and if being a fool is what He wants me to be, I don’t know anymore

  • Nicole

    I don’t really know why, but im just angry at God. I’m so scared that one day he’s going to call me to do something that i won’t want to do. People say to lay down Every​ thing, even your hopes and dreams. I don’t want to give up my dreams. I’m selfish and prideful and I hate it. I love God and I don’t want to ever be with out him, but I’m so frustrated. People always tell you to follow your dreams and pursue them, but what’s the point of saying that if you’re just supposed to do what God wants. Why does life always have to be about God? I’m sorry I just vented. I just want to be able to have the courage to trust him. I don’t think I can fully let him in until I get rid of this mindset. I feel conflicted and confused.