Are You Mad At God?
I've got to believe at some point in your life, you've raised your fist and shouted out in anger at God. Most of us have done it.
Maybe your parent died, or you had a friend get seriously sick, or even killed. Maybe you have cancer, or some kind of handicap. These and other serious issues enter our lives, making it easy to target God for our pain.
Someone described anger this way: Anger is a human emotional response to situations that are either out of our control or out of our ability to understand, or both.
How to Handle Being Angry at God
What does Jesus say about anger?
Jesus talks about anger several times in the New Testament of the Bible. Let’s look at a few of them:
- Anger and the Heart
- In the book of Matthew, Jesus warns against harboring anger and hatred in one's heart, suggesting that letting it fester can have a pretty destructive effect. You can find that in Matthew 5:21-22 (NIV): "But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment."
- Reconciliation and Forgiveness
- In the same passage Matthew, Jesus encourages us to resolve conflicts and reconcile with others quickly. He suggests that it's better to “leave your gift at the altar,” meaning you should pause what you’re doing and make sure things are set right between you and the person you’re in conflict with instead of letting it grow in your heart. (Matthew 5:23-24)
- Turn the Other Cheek
- In Matthew 5:38-39, Jesus teaches the principle of turning the other cheek when someone wrongs you. He encourages his followers not to respond to aggression with aggression, but rather to respond with love and patience. It’s important to note that “turning the other cheek” is not meant to allow someone who has hurt you to get away with it and do it again. But if you’re in a situation where you can extend grace and relieve yourself from the anger you feel, consider forgiveness.
- Forgiveness
- In the Lord's Prayer (Matthew 6:9-13), Jesus instructs his disciples to ask for forgiveness from God as they also forgive those who trespass against them. You can check out our resources on forgiveness if you want to know more. Forgiveness is a powerful act and a complicated subject, so it’s important to explore further if you are angry with someone or if you’d like to seek forgiveness from someone else.
- Be Peacemakers
- In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus blesses the peacemakers, stating that they will be called children of God (Matthew 5:9). To Jesus, fostering peace and resolving conflicts should be a priority.
- Admonishing a Brother
- In Matthew 18:15-17, Jesus talks about how to address conflict within a community. He suggests first going to the person privately if they've done something to hurt you against you, or if you’ve wronged them. Give them a chance to settle things with you personally. If someone is unwilling to take accountability for their wrong, it might be useful to involve others in seeking reconciliation–asking a friend to talk to someone on your behalf, for example, or going to HR if your boss or coworker isn’t willing to make something right at work.
Jesus teaches the importance of managing anger, addressing it promptly, and striving for reconciliation and forgiveness. He always advocates for a mindset of love, patience, and humility when dealing with conflict. While anger is a natural human emotion, the way it is handled and processed plays a crucial role in maintaining healthy relationships and spiritual well-being. So it’s absolutely 100% okay to be angry… even Jesus felt angry sometimes! Check out Matthew 21 and Mark 11 for proof. Just be intentional about how you act when you’re angry.
What are some of the reasons why we get mad at God?
Have you ever wondered why we get so angry at God? That's what I want to talk about, because I can assure you that while God allows us to cry out to Him, He doesn't want us stuck in rage towards Him.
The main reason we get so upset with God is that we think He owes us something. This usually happens in two ways:
1. We don't get something we want.
Have you ever really wanted a relationship with that perfect girl or guy? Or you really wanted that job you knew for certain would be perfect for you? When these things didn't work out, you no doubt found yourself hurt and disappointed. Our first impulse is almost always to blame God.
Daphne wrote: When we get mad at God it is really like a 2-year-old throwing a fit because Mommy or Daddy won't let them stick their finger in the light socket. The 2-year-old can only see what he/she wants, the parent sees the bigger picture, and the danger. When we are mad at God we show our immaturity, ignorance, and our shortsightedness.
2. We get something we DON'T expect.
When something bad happens to someone we love, or to us, or someone gets really sick, or even dies we wonder why these things have to happen. We think of God as a big genie in the sky who should only give us good things and prevent the bad.
I received a comment from someone who said: Some people wonder why their lives end up being a certain way, and they blame God for it, because if God really cared for them, then He wouldn't let them suffer.
We think, "If God is so loving, why am I in so much pain? Is He punishing me for no reason by allowing horrible things to happen to me, or the people I love, or even the world?"
3. We think God owes us something.
Both of these situations can make a person feel like God doesn't care about us. After all the prayers we've prayed, God still didn't heal your brother's cancer, or get you the job you wanted.
Joe wrote: I have to admit that I am angry at God. The more I have prayed for help and guidance, the more I get nothing. He is ignoring me. It's His right to do with me what He will, but I am frustrated because I have done what I think I am supposed to do and yet no response, no help.
We get angry when we think God owes us something. When in fact, God owes us nothing.
A couple of other reasons:
- We get angry with God when we don't know all the facts. It's so easy to think we know everything, but we can only see a very small part of the picture.
- We get angry at God when we see others claim to know Him, and then act like hypocrites. It's easy to blame God for the faults of others.
These are just a few reasons why people get angry with God. Of course, there are many more.
How to Get Over Being Mad at God - Know What You Can Expect From Him.
If we think God is going to be our genie in a bottle, and make everything good in our lives, we're going to be mad at God when something bad happens. Having faith in God is not insurance against hardships.
In the Bible, Jesus says- “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)
So what can we expect from God?
- His Peace - If we trust in Him and believe in Him we will have peace even in the hard times. Do you want to know how to find this peace? Begin Your Journey To Peace with this great resource from Peace With God.
- God Wins in the End - This world is full of sin, hate and death and that comes from the enemy, Satan, not from God. However, for all those who believe in Jesus, there is glorious, eternal life in heaven.
- His Comfort - He promises to be near those who are hurting. "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." (Psalm 34:18)
- His love - He promises His love for us. "God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him." (1 John 4:16) He loves your heart and is with you in the midst of whatever your circumstances.
- Life with greater meaning and significance - If we got everything we thought we wanted, we'd be spoiled and selfish. God is a wise father who knows what we need to become the best men and women we can be.
What can you do when you are mad at God?
1. Tell him how you feel.
The best thing you can do is tell God what you're angry about. He wants to hear from you about what you're thinking and feeling. Tell God honestly where you are at. God knows what's going on inside of you, but He wants to you be able to come to Him with honesty and openness.
2. Place the blame for evil on Satan, not on God.
God is good and Holy and perfect and loving. He is the opposite of evil. You may be mad at God because he didn't prevent the bad from happening to you, but he is not to blame for the bad thing, Satan is. Jesus says in the Bible "The thief’s purpose is to steal, kill and destroy. My purpose is to give life in all its fullness." (John 10:10)
3. Pray for courage, strength and peace to make it through the day.
Betsy wrote: I find it easiest to leave everything in God's hands and pray that he will care for me and do what's BEST for me, not what I want, but what is best. It's very hard, and I have trouble with that at times, but that is my overall goal.
4. Trust that God will use a hardship for something beyond what you can see.
So can God use everything we go through for a greater purpose? I believe He can. Ask God for understanding to see the bigger picture. Over time, you may see more clearly how God used your trial for good.
Jill wrote honestly: I feel like I have a daily tug of war with God. I know everything happens for a reason, but when you're lonely, broke, bored, and feel helpless, it is really hard to say, okay God, I know you're doing this for a reason.
Betsy echoed Jill's thoughts: After many trials, I learned that it is best to accept what God has done and believe that it is for my good, whether I like it or not.
Believing He does have a reason for everything we go through helps us to trust that something bigger is going on here, even more than we can probably understand. But I'm not God, He is. And I'm just going to trust that He knows what's going on with me.
5. Get involved in other people's lives.
A lot of our anger and frustration in life comes from thinking about ourselves too much - we think about the way things are and how different they are from how we wish they'd be.
Yevgenia wrote: One of the best things I have learned while going through this is God won't put you through something unless he knows you will be able to overcome it. Another way I have used these things in a positive way is by using my experiences to help others who are going through similar things in their lives.
The best way to find joy and peace from the hardships of life is to get involved in other people's lives. Take an interest in other people and their circumstances. Share in their joy and their pain.
6. Decide to have a relationship with God.
The Bible says the only way to know God is by knowing His son, Jesus. Jesus was basically God with skin-on and gave us a way to know who He is, His love, and how to be in a relationship with Him.
Lucas wrote: Sometimes only God will know why He has allowed a trial and sometimes He will reveal its purpose to us. Sometimes it's because He is preparing us for a greater thing. Sometimes it is to show us how little we truly love Him, and to allow us to change. Trials give us an opportunity to build our faith in a way nothing else can.
How have you dealt with your own personal anger toward God? I'd love to hear from you. Please let me know how you got over being upset with God.
It’s hard to have faith when life is hard, but God understands your pain. For more help read this blog: Life is Hard, God Understands
For more on reconciling the goodness of God and bad things in the world read these blogs from organizations we partner with:
I am a believer, and been walking with the Lord for almost 6 years. My life hasn't changed that much since. I got a new job back in August and I just knew that I was going to be able to save money, pay off debt and get a car. None of that happen. Rent went up. For about 6 years I have been praying to the Lord to give me a job to get my own car. I know it sounds small, but its not to me. This job was huge let down. I feel forgotten and not worthy of making enough money to pay off stuff, save and get a car. I have prayed and cried out to God plenty of times. Nothing has changed. As a result, I am depressed. I'm trying to have faith but it is hard. I've gotten to the point where I don't pray or read the word.
Tay, It is normal to feel the way you feel during this challenging time. It is so hard to understand the "why is this happening to me" during these times. You are worthy, valued and loved by our Lord and Savior. Perhaps it would help to have someone that you can continue to talk about this. How about signing up for one of our email mentors? You would email back and forth with them for as long as you like. They will listen, guide you and help you through this. To sign up for an email mentor go to https://www.thehopeline.com/emailmentors
I don't know how I found myself on this blog. But, after reading many of the posts.... I am thinking that perhaps there is a reason. I have loved the Lord since I was around six, came from a very poor background, was abused by my father, and severely by my first husband, even by church members, have been raped and run down by a car, have lost a fortune once. Have been many times unjustly punished and harmed. I'm almost 60 now and I've suffered a lot. And I've learned a little too. Looking back, I must say that I have learned a little... how to love much better, and how to love those who despise and use me through every single thing by choosing to throw down vain and evil thoughts of revenge and take up and hope and even hide in His words. Perhaps it's because I am an American and live in this once great, free country, I did not understand the scriptures about counting it all for loss, or what it truly means to suffer for Christ. I did not understand the significance or importance of His life giving powerful word. Jesus is revealed in his word and that is truly where we must turn, in everything. What kind of Christians can we be if we only love those who love us or if we never suffer what all others suffer? God spared my life....many times. Often I didn't know why and I felt alone and terribly betrayed. But, then I remembered, this life is so very short and temporary in the light of eternal life with Him. So, I welcome all He must teach me to be an effective witness, comfort and help to others here in the same boat and in order to fit me for a life with Him in heaven. Two huge purposes which aside from anything else He reveals to you personally, are shared by all believers.
I lost my mother in August. I've always struggled in my relationship with God. But since he took my mother I just can't seem to not be angry with him. I see cancer survivors out there doing drugs and smoking cigarettes. But my mother who never touched any of that had to wither away in constant pain. It just doesn't make sense. He took my best friend and broke my heart. I don't know how to get back to him when I'm so angry and hurt. Please pray for me
So I know in my situation the devil is definitely against me on this one. There's a part of me where I do believe in a higher power and I do believe in God and I had a relationship with God however over the years the more things have happened the more whatever you want to call it struggle and bs along with hearing people claim that believing in God is something human beings do to seek security and give themselves meaning in life and it's a made-up idea and that we just do it because we're insecure and want something or to believe that there is something out there that can help us when we are powerless. That idea has resonated with me in such a bad way they are days where I'm completely all four and all about God and feel like I can't deny that there is a higher power but I also can't help but feel like maybe it is possible that as human beings made this idea up because really what can we say or expect that shows 100% God exists. We're not allowed to expect anything from him we're not allowed to ask for anything from him he doesn't say anything back and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. I'm not here to argue about whether or not God is real, I'm just here to Simply State and reply that I hate that I heard somebody explain that because I kind of liked believing in something even if it was fake. And if God is real, why can't God be a little more helpful or present in A lot of times. I don't care if there are reasons why, I think it's bs regardless. And I'm angry if God does exist that the almighty can't even find a better way to go about this so that people in my position can have a little more faith or help on our end to believe what's right or real. Like why would you not want to encourage your children? I don't get it! So since he doesn't does that mean God doesn't exist? Or is it that he really doesn't give a crap as much as we like to think? I mean I argue all of these points back and forth in my head pretty frequently and I get to this stubborn point where I don't care anymore. Like I don't care that I don't understand or why I don't understand the point is I don't understand so why can't God help me figure this the out. In the more I wish he would show me more the more I'm told I'm not supposed to seek that type of reassurance for whatever reason and there's always a hundred million reasons why I'm not supposed to ask for that. But then at the same time I'm told that if I don't believe that I'm going to go to hell and be struck down where I stand pretty much. I think that's bs and I feel like it's bullying me into some mind crap. My faith is so broken these days to the point that I don't even care about the reasonings as to why or why not I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired and looking for some type of meaning. Like you don't have to make me struggle or go through hell and back just to teach me a lesson geez and this would be a lot easier if you would help me in the first place. And mr. Almighty has the power to do so so why doesn't he? Has anybody else struggle with this? I need some help here and some clarification. Not trying to offend anybody or Mock anybody I'm just being honest about what I have been feeling lately. It's very confusing! I also don't understand why we are told when we teach our children that we have to leave by example but yet God has never role modeled directly to me as a person exactly what I'm supposed to do he's always giving me exactly what I'm supposed to do he's always given me a great area to live in when I'm told that my soul is either black or white does that make sense what I'm trying to say to anybody? We're supposed to love our children like he loves us for example but yet God gets to live by a different set of rules and that's so frustrating to me. Somebody please help me!!
Last year, I found out that my dad had been lying to me about my mom being schizophrenic for my entire life. I was 19. At the same time, my best friend was dating my brother and cheated on him and I tried to tell him but he wouldn't believe me. Now I'm not friends with either of them. A guy who liked me and I liked him told me he didn't want to be my boyfriend so we stopped talking for about 6 months. He came back and kissed me and so I thought it meant he was ready to date but then he said no. So I'm just kind of feeling like my life is one big joke. I feel really lonely and the only sort of close friends I have left live hours away cause they're off at college. I don't know how to find the purpose in life, I don't know how to stop feeling lonely. I feel that i've asked God a million times what I'm supposed to do but... nothing. I just feel a crushing loneliness.