Each person brings who they are, including their masculinity or femininity, and that helps balance out the relationship.
It’s always fascinating to explore the differences between the genders.
Let’s face it, no matter what anyone says, men and women are similar, but yet so different.
In fact, there was a big selling book called Men Are From Mars and Women Are From Venus which spelled out very clearly what makes men different from women. These differences can cause so much confusion for people involved in a relationship.
Why do Guys Brush off Emotions and Close Up?
Phillip asked: Why it is that women tend to have so much stronger emotions than men? And Michaela asked: When guys get emotionally hurt, why do they just brush everything off and won’t talk with you about it?
Unfortunately, society has told men it’s a sign of weakness to express their feelings while it’s much more socially acceptable for women to talk about their feelings. That may be a reason why so many more men end up with heart attacks…they tend to hold everything inside.
While every person is different, women tend to be more emotional than men. There’s nothing wrong with that. Each person brings who they are, including their masculinity or femininity, and that helps balance out their relationship. But while there are exceptions, it is equally true men tend to express their emotions differently than women.
Each side needs to do the best they can to understand and deal with the opposite sex.
Women demonstrate emotion
Women are more prone to talk about what they are thinking and feeling, and to demonstrate how they are feeling with their tears, facial expressions, hand gestures, and body language. Many women seem to be more comfortable figuring out how they feel by talking through it.
Men, generally speaking, tend to process their emotions inwardly. Many times, they don’t know exactly how they feel, so they try to figure it out on their own…inside their head. Some men are afraid of their emotions and keep them buried inside in order to protect themselves from looking weak. Little do they know, that most women would accept and understand (and even appreciate!) an expression of their emotion.
Men solve emotional problems on their own
Men are also more physical, and tend to work out their emotions by finding solutions, and doing things. The harm is when men keep stuffing all their feelings inside, letting them simmer and brew, and potentially eat away at them, eventually coming out as anger. There are tremendous benefits to getting your thoughts and emotions out in the open, in the context of a safe relationship, and not letting them destroy you.
There are differences between the genders. Each side needs to do the best they can to understand and deal with the opposite sex, rather than get frustrated about the differences. We ought to celebrate them. Just think, what if there were all women in the world, and no men? Or all men in the world, and no women? The world wouldn’t be a very fun place, would it?
Is it True Love When it Hurts?
Ashlee asked: Is it truly love when you will do anything for the person you care about even when it hurts you in the process?
There are two ways to answer this question depending on how the person you love, loves you in return.
First, if you are in a relationship that is mutually caring, supportive and you both work to put the others needs before your own, then real love would be willing to make sacrifices for the other. God showed us the ultimate example of this kind of love. In the Bible Jesus says, “Love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” John 15:12-13
However, if the one you think you love is demanding things that hurt you or violate your own value system, the answer is no, love should not hurt you. Love gives, it does not take. Love heals, it does not hurt. Love builds up the other person, does not tear them down.
Why do I put up with it?
If you are in this type of relationships, you’re probably wondering why it is that you’re doing what you’re doing…why are you putting up with hurtful behavior from your boyfriend, and still calling it love? Unfortunately, many stuck in selfish and destructive relationships have never had real love shown to them. Many of us are so hungry for attention or what we feel is love, we are willing to do anything, or put up with anything in order to get what we think is love.
Unfortunately, there are times when the person who is demanding we violate our own value system simply to please themselves, will show signs of changing, or even glimpses they really care about the other person. This is what makes it so confusing. The person being hurt thinks if they just love their partner more perhaps being that one person in their life that never gives up on them…then they will stop the hurting. This won’t happen. Besides, this isn’t love, no matter what how much you feel it is.
If you find yourself doing things with your bf/gf that violate your own value system, get out of the relationship. You need to protect yourself. Talk to someone you can trust about what’s happening in the relationship and let them help you get free. You can read more about what is an abusive dating relationship here.
You can also give your broken-heart to God. Here’s his promise, “The LORD is near to the brokenhearted And saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18
Keep moving forward on your journey toward healthier and happier relationships with the opposite sex. There’s always hope! You might enjoy one of these eBooks:
Photo Credit: Andrii Podilnyk