It’s always fascinating to explore the differences between the genders.
Let’s face it, no matter what anyone says, men and women are similar, but yet so different.
In fact, there was a big selling book called Men Are From Mars and Women Are From Venus which spelled out very clearly what makes men different from women. These differences can cause so much confusion for people involved in a relationship.
Why do Guys Brush off Emotions and Close Up?
Phillip asked: Why is it that women tend to have so much stronger emotions than men?
And Michaela asked: When guys get emotionally hurt, why do they just brush everything off and won’t talk with you about it?
Unfortunately, society has told men it’s a sign of weakness to express their feelings while it’s much more socially acceptable for women to talk about their feelings. That may be a reason why so many more men end up with heart attacks…they tend to hold everything inside.
While every person is different, women tend to be more emotional than men. There’s nothing wrong with that. Each person brings who they are, including their masculinity or femininity, and that helps balance out their relationship. But while there are exceptions, it is equally true men tend to express their emotions differently than women.
Each side needs to do the best they can to understand and deal with the opposite sex.
Women Demonstrate Emotion
Women are more prone to talk about what they are thinking and feeling, and to demonstrate how they are feeling with their tears, facial expressions, hand gestures, and body language. Many women seem to be more comfortable figuring out how they feel by talking through it.
Men, generally speaking, tend to process their emotions inwardly. Many times, they don’t know exactly how they feel, so they try to figure it out on their own…inside their head. Some men are afraid of their emotions and keep them buried inside in order to protect themselves from looking weak. Little do they know, that most women would accept and understand (and even appreciate!) an expression of their emotion.
Men Solve Emotional Problems on Their Own
Men are also more physical, and tend to work out their emotions by finding solutions, and doing things. The harm is when men keep stuffing all their feelings inside, letting them simmer and brew, and potentially eat away at them, eventually coming out as anger. There are tremendous benefits to getting your thoughts and emotions out in the open, in the context of a safe relationship, and not letting them destroy you.
There are differences between the genders. Each side needs to do the best they can to understand and deal with the opposite sex, rather than get frustrated about the differences. We ought to celebrate them. Just think, what if there were all women in the world, and no men? Or all men in the world, and no women? The world wouldn’t be a very fun place, would it?
So we handle our feelings differently, now how do I understand what my boyfriend or girlfriend is thinking?
Do I Have to Read His or Her Mind?
Robert asked, “I have found that girls tend not to speak their minds. Why is that? When you ask, How are you doing?’ they may say, I’m all right,’ when they’re feeling completely the opposite. Do I have to read her mind??”
I have heard that same question from both sexes. Everyone’s deepest desire is to be loved by someone who knows everything about us and still loves us!
So it would stand to reason then that our biggest fear is that someone would know all about us and reject us. So we go back and forth with someone we care about. At some moments we dare to show who we are. At other times we cover up what we think might not be met with approval.
The key here is good communication. If you are feeling frustrated by always having to guess how he/she is feeling, or exhausted by trying to read his/her mind, try gently asking them what they truly mean. In fact, your effort to discover what they are honestly feeling might assure them of your desire to really know them.
It’s also important to express your commitment when they reveal vulnerable areas of their life. Tell them how much you care about them, and how you desire to understand them better. We all long to be listened to and understood. If you are confused by what they really mean, taking the time to ask for clarification instead of just walking away in a huff will show real love.
Are you wondering what the secret is behind a healthy relationship? Find out here.
Photo Credit: Andrii Podilnyk