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Why Do Women Handle Emotions Differently Than Men

by Dawson McAllister

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Why Do Women Handle Emotions Differently Than Men

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Each person brings who they are, including their masculinity or femininity, and that helps balance out the relationship.

It’s always fascinating to explore the differences between the genders.

Let’s face it, no matter what anyone says, men and women are similar, but yet so different.

In fact, there was a big selling book called Men Are From Mars and Women Are From Venus which spelled out very clearly what makes men different from women. These differences can cause so much confusion for people involved in a relationship.

Why do Guys Brush off Emotions and Close Up?

Phillip asked: Why it is that women tend to have so much stronger emotions than men? And Michaela asked: When guys get emotionally hurt, why do they just brush everything off and won’t talk with you about it?

Unfortunately, society has told men it’s a sign of weakness to express their feelings while it’s much more socially acceptable for women to talk about their feelings. That may be a reason why so many more men end up with heart attacks…they tend to hold everything inside.

While every person is different, women tend to be more emotional than men. There’s nothing wrong with that. Each person brings who they are, including their masculinity or femininity, and that helps balance out their relationship. But while there are exceptions, it is equally true men tend to express their emotions differently than women.

Each side needs to do the best they can to understand and deal with the opposite sex.

Women demonstrate emotion

Women are more prone to talk about what they are thinking and feeling, and to demonstrate how they are feeling with their tears, facial expressions, hand gestures, and body language. Many women seem to be more comfortable figuring out how they feel by talking through it.

Men, generally speaking, tend to process their emotions inwardly. Many times, they don’t know exactly how they feel, so they try to figure it out on their own…inside their head. Some men are afraid of their emotions and keep them buried inside in order to protect themselves from looking weak. Little do they know, that most women would accept and understand (and even appreciate!) an expression of their emotion.

Men solve emotional problems on their own

Men are also more physical, and tend to work out their emotions by finding solutions, and doing things. The harm is when men keep stuffing all their feelings inside, letting them simmer and brew, and potentially eat away at them, eventually coming out as anger. There are tremendous benefits to getting your thoughts and emotions out in the open, in the context of a safe relationship, and not letting them destroy you.

There are differences between the genders. Each side needs to do the best they can to understand and deal with the opposite sex, rather than get frustrated about the differences. We ought to celebrate them. Just think, what if there were all women in the world, and no men? Or all men in the world, and no women? The world wouldn’t be a very fun place, would it?

Is it True Love When it Hurts?

Ashlee asked: Is it truly love when you will do anything for the person you care about even when it hurts you in the process?

There are two ways to answer this question depending on how the person you love, loves you in return.

First, if you are in a relationship that is mutually caring, supportive and you both work to put the others needs before your own, then real love would be willing to make sacrifices for the other. God showed us the ultimate example of this kind of love. In the Bible Jesus says, “Love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” John 15:12-13

However, if the one you think you love is demanding things that hurt you or violate your own value system, the answer is no, love should not hurt you. Love gives, it does not take. Love heals, it does not hurt. Love builds up the other person, does not tear them down.

Dating and Relationships: Can I Keep My Heart from Breaking?

Why do I put up with it?

If you are in this type of relationships, you’re probably wondering why it is that you’re doing what you’re doing…why are you putting up with hurtful behavior from your boyfriend, and still calling it love? Unfortunately, many stuck in selfish and destructive relationships have never had real love shown to them. Many of us are so hungry for attention or what we feel is love, we are willing to do anything, or put up with anything in order to get what we think is love.

Unfortunately, there are times when the person who is demanding we violate our own value system simply to please themselves, will show signs of changing, or even glimpses they really care about the other person. This is what makes it so confusing. The person being hurt thinks if they just love their partner more perhaps being that one person in their life that never gives up on them…then they will stop the hurting. This won’t happen. Besides, this isn’t love, no matter what how much you feel it is.

If you find yourself doing things with your bf/gf that violate your own value system, get out of the relationship. You need to protect yourself.  Talk to someone you can trust about what’s happening in the relationship and let them help you get free. You can read more about what is an abusive dating relationship here.

You can also give your broken-heart to God. Here’s his promise, “The LORD is near to the brokenhearted And saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18

Are you wondering what the secret is behind a healthy relationship? Find out here.

Your Friend,

Dawson McAllister's Blog on Grieving

 

 

Photo Credit: Andrii Podilnyk

Filed Under: Dating, Relationships, Sex Tagged With: Dawson's Blog

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Curtis A St. Denis says

    March 25, 2019 at 3:52 pm

    Are we absolutely positive that it’s not something else – like maybe women feel emotions and men feel feelings? It’s my experience that (for the most part) the genders experience these differently. The people who write these articles are “emotionally intelligent” men and women and biased toward their own experience. Emotions and feelings motivate people to act in all sorts of ways, good and bad.

    Reply
  2. EmotionalReck says

    December 29, 2017 at 12:41 pm

    How is that a male and female can break up and the female is having a very difficult time dealing with it (has even sent messages expressing that she still cares) but the male shows no emotion or feelings what-so-ever (doesn’t even respond to the messages)?

    Reply
    • Twinss says

      July 18, 2018 at 8:06 am

      Why did they break up in the first place?
      The man is probably trying to overcome the woman, despite the woman wanting another chance or whatever.

      Reply
      • BIGSEED says

        January 14, 2019 at 1:17 pm

        Yes, it all depends on what caused the problem. Sometimes it might be that when the issue started d male tried settling the issue and maybe the female has someone else after the person disappoints her, she starts to go back to d former she aboundoned

        Reply
  3. Bree says

    March 30, 2017 at 6:30 pm

    Why do we say things to hurt each other in the heat of the moment even though there is true, strong love for one and other?

    Reply
  4. tia says

    January 24, 2017 at 11:14 am

    what does it call when a man don’t like giving his women money tell get a jobs or all u wanted do spend money when u know she has no job when u the source of income

    Reply
  5. David W says

    January 13, 2017 at 12:21 pm

    Men’s emotional response is a lot more neurological, whilst women source much of their emotional response from hormones. Women get over emotional trouble faster this way because they remember the feeling but the initial hormones subside, while men are programmed to feel it. It also shows that while men may feel as strongly about a particular experience, it’s internalized in their thoughts rather than expressed through their body.

    This is not intended to be a blanket statement, their are several variables to consider with these observations all they way down to the individual. Men have hormones too, and to different degrees; just as women have thought feelings as well.

    Reply
  6. Bill CZY says

    December 6, 2016 at 11:26 pm

    It is true that it would be either a man or a woman who has written this. Assuming gender is discrete, most of the world’s population falls into either one of two categories. It is impossible to write a perfect article without preconceived notions about gender. That’s why we need to discuss, instead of banding together and become tribes that lead to a worse future.

    Reply
  7. Jaco says

    November 27, 2016 at 7:42 am

    This was definitely written by a women.

    Reply
    • Melvin L Sprewel says

      April 2, 2017 at 8:12 pm

      Absolutely

      Reply
    • Jamie says

      October 6, 2018 at 2:52 pm

      It was written by a man…What’s your disagreement?

      Reply
      • Brandon A says

        November 15, 2019 at 3:49 pm

        What makes me think it was written by a woman is that the writer keeps saying “Men are taught to keep emotions inside and they are thought of as weak if they share”. That’s stupid and nobody is taught that. Boys are taught to deal with their feelings without acting out. This article was not insightful.

        Reply
  8. PlayStation4Life! says

    August 26, 2016 at 10:50 am

    In general, men are easier to get angry while Women are easier to get scared or hurt.

    Reply
  9. CaramelStar says

    October 26, 2014 at 10:47 pm

    If the both of you decide to be friends and it’s ok to date others.. When your ex-bf feels like you are seeing or dating someone else it’s a problem but its ok for them?

    Reply
  10. Soph says

    September 30, 2014 at 10:49 pm

    why is it that men gradually change their romantic behaviors and patterns overtime; why are things always more effort in the beginning than toward the end.

    Reply
    • Chris says

      October 13, 2014 at 9:00 am

      Men pull out all the stops to impress women at the start of a relationship as to prove themselves. Once they feel they’ve gained that acceptance they’ll go back to a more normal (Often less romantic) way of doing things.

      That said, it takes longer for a man to fall in love but once he is, and assuming it’s unconditional, he’ll go out of his way time after time to help or keep his partner happy. A lot of that is down to assuming a ‘protector’ role, some of it however is so he doesn’t jeopardise his chance of sex :’)

      Reply
      • NoBullshit2 says

        October 31, 2014 at 9:41 pm

        I know you were trying to to answer her questions but I’ll add this applies to both genders btw.
        I think it has to do with the fact that many people put up a facade on a daily basis. It helps polish the perception you get from others. Once you baited someone, either your facade wears out or you feel so comfortable that you forget about every part of it (facade).

        Reply
    • Melvin L Sprewel says

      April 2, 2017 at 8:16 pm

      I’ll say 75 of it is a womans perception the other 25 percent is actual behavior ..

      Reply
    • Cham says

      December 15, 2018 at 7:00 pm

      I would say it is the law of attraction and the rule of relationship. Lots of energy, time, and money putting into it at the beginning. So it is not sustainable.

      Reply

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