Shelby feels she’s putting guys before God. She’s more worried about finding the right guy, than anything else in her life.
She's Struggling with Her Faith and Relationships
SHELBY (FAYETTEVILLE, AR) QUESTION:
Shelby: This is going to sound really, really stupid. And I know it's wrong, but I'm putting guys before God. And my faith isn’t all that well in the first place.
Dawson: You're putting guys ahead of God.
Shelby: I'm 17 years old, and I'm more worried about that than anything.
Dawson: A lot of guys you're dating now, probably if they're jerks, all they're doing is messing up your future marriage, leaving you with scars and heartache.
Shelby: I've had guys in my family take me for advantage. Like, they'll tell me, I'm nothing and tell me I'm not worth anything. That nobody's ever going to want me. And I'm to the point where I don't test guys whatsoever. I have to know them before. I even think about dating them, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. But it's gotten to the point where I'm extremely, extremely picky,
DAWSON MCALLISTER'S ANSWER:
Dawson: Good. Good, because there's nothing worse than marrying some guy. And rolling over in bed after about a week and there he is snoring. And you go, “I married the wrong guy.” That's a bad, bad feeling. So, if you're going to fall into one ditch or the other, I would say fall into the ditch that says I'm going to be over picky. Rather than say, if he blows in my ear, I'll follow him anywhere.
Alright, so you say wait a minute, there's more to life than finding Mr. Right? I'm 17. So, what I'm going to do is I'm going to work on my core spiritual beliefs. And I'm going to grow as a person. Most couples meet at their weaknesses rather than at their strengths. And a guy that you would really like to marry is going to want you to be strong, have core values and not simply be a follower. So, you say I'm going to work on being who I am, grow as a person and reach out to others, love on others. Before you know it, Mr. Right comes along when you're not even looking for him.
Shelby: What do I do about being scared of them?
Dawson: That'll take care of itself too, once you meet Mr. Right. The right guy will put you at ease, and you will be able to be open to talking with him about it. And after a while that fear will go away. You're in no hurry, Shelby! You're only 17, there’s plenty of life ahead of you here. Guys are overrated anyway. If you don't get the right one, you'll be sorry you got anyone at all.
If you’re wondering about the importance of faith and its role in your life and relationships, search our resource library (blogs, podcasts, ebooks, and more), to find answers to your questions:
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