There is value in being fearless and bold in the pursuit of your dreams. But for some guys, their dream is to date the most amazing girl they know to the point they don't know when to stop pursuing this dream.
So, let's have an honest look at when it may be time to give up.
How to Stop Pursuing Someone
Signs it May be Time to Stop Pursuing a Girl
In life, persistence often pays off. But when it comes to a guy pursuing a girl, it can be just plain confusing.
Danny wrote: There's this girl who I really like. But I have no idea whether she likes me or not. Sometimes she acts like she does, but other times she doesn't. I'm just confused.
Well, Danny - here are some obvious signs that it might be time to move on. But then keep reading for great tips on how to pursue a girl in a more appropriate way.
12 Signs to Move On
- When she obviously avoids you
- If you show an interest in her, but she seems to ignore you
- She acts one way around you, and another way around her friends
- No longer responds to your calls/texts/emails/snaps
- She asks you to stop
- Or tells you you're coming on too strong
- Your friends tell you to move on
- She talks to you about another guy she's interested in
- If she seems bothered, irritated or angry at you
- Your self-esteem starts to suffer for it
- You start to think you are going crazy about the whole situation
- If you're wondering if you should stop pursuing her, it's probably time.
Skye wrote: People need to use the common sense the good Lord gave them. When something in your head tells you not to do something, don't do it. You'll thank yourself later.
Roy wrote: Everyone I knew early on told us it would never work out, but I stayed with her to prove them wrong. In the end, it left me more broken and confused. Had I listened early on I would have saved myself a great deal of trouble and pain.
The most annoying guys are the ones who are convinced they have to be with this one particular girl, even though they might not even really know her. These guys are usually so strongly attracted to something about this girl, that he thinks he's in love before he even knows her.
Bottom line - if it is taking a lot of effort to get her interested and she is showing no indication she likes you, it is time to back off for both of your sakes.
How to Tell if a Girl Likes You
How Do Girls Show Signs of Interest?
This is one of those times in life where it’s best to just get the awkward part over with. Instead of trying to read “the signs,” go talk to her! Ask her how she feels, and be direct. Is that scary? Yes. Will it help you figure out what you need to know? Also yes.
Waiting around to see if you can interpret her interest level based on eye contact or emojis is a recipe for confusion, hurt feelings, anxiety, and a whoooooooole lot of time spent guessing that could have been spent dating!
There’s a catch, though: you have to accept her answer, whatever it is. If you approach her and ask if she’s interested in you or if she wants to go on a date, and she says “no,” you need to respect that. Don’t think that she said “no” and then continue reading into her body language, wondering if she was really playing hard to get. Take her at her word, give your feelings some time to recover from the rejection, and then start focusing on the good things you have going in your life.
Here are some things you could try saying, texting, or dming if you’re sure you’re ready to know, once and for all, if she’s interested:
“Hey ______, I really like talking to you, so I’m just gonna come right out and ask, would you go on a date with me?”
“I’m nervous, so I’m gonna spit it out—I like you. Do you like me back?”
“How would you feel about dating me? I think it would be really nice.”
“I like you. May I hold your hand?”
Don’t overthink it. You’ve got this.
So how can you pursue a girl in an appropriate way?
Relationships take time to develop. You can't force your way into someone else's life.
First, just seek to be friends.
Give yourself time to get to know her. But even more importantly, give her time to get to know you. You deserve someone who is interested in you, as well.
Second, don't act like your entire happiness depends on her realizing how wonderful you are.
That's a lot of pressure on a girl. She wants someone who is happy and confident in their own right.
Third, show her respect.
Most girls love to be pursued by a guy or viewed as someone special. Most of the time they appreciate a guy's persistence and confidence. But more than anything, a girl wants to be respected and valued. The more respect you can show as you pursue her, the better.
Fourth, give the chase a rest.
If you stop pursuing her, and give the chase a rest, you might find out the answer you're looking for. If she's interested in you, she may try to find out where you've been. She might actually become more interested in you, because you're not trying so hard. But you might also find that she doesn't care that you've stopped pursuing her. That's a good sign that you were pursuing the wrong girl. It's probably time to take a break, and hope that you can get to know each other as friends over time.
Fifth, relax.
Be relaxed in your pursuit of your dream girl. Don't act like your entire happiness depends on her realizing how wonderful you are. Keep in mind there are plenty of girls in the world, some of whom will find you attractive and well worth their time.
Sixth, don't change who you are.
I know you like this girl a lot, but you don’t want a relationship that is this much work. You don't want to pretend to be someone else just to stay in a relationship. That's exhausting. You deserve someone who likes you just the way you are! Create healthy boundaries for yourself. Boundaries are emotional markers that clearly define where one person ends, and the other person begins.
Healthy boundaries allow you to be free to be yourself, and not feel like your happiness is dependent on what another person thinks about you.
God created you just the way you are. You are uniquely you with your talents, sense of humor, interests, and style. God designed you with a purpose and has great plans for you. Don't let a girl ever make you question if you are good enough and if you should change.
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
Do you put yourself down all the time? Want to stop? Read this checklist of 10 ways to increase your self-esteem for a healthier self-image.
I think i will keep going like mas until notice some trouble with the law is on my agenda. Keep trying or die, i choose keep trying because i am better than her.
I'm pursuing a woman with kids! I've been out of the game for a long time. I've been honest,respectful,rational of her situation and just offered her someone she can rely and trust. I've meet her kids and been out with them a couple of times but sometime she is just mean . I just don't see myself with here but then I can't get out of my mind she all I think about I can't eat sleep or think!!!!!
This is interesting stuff here. Might I ask for a follow up or an addendum? That is, how do you stop the pursuit? Most guys just cut her off completely, and I'm guilty of that. But is that the best way? And is that the best way for every girl?
I came across this page because I was misled for a year by a tease. She reveled in leading guys on, having them fall for her in a form of presents, love letters, poems or some other foolish thing, and then she'd punt them to the side. I know this because she'd privately let me in on her conquests, telling me, almost gloating to me about how she got a guy to give her presents. She would never take presents tho. This turns out to be an effective way to keep them guessing. She would then put the guy to the side and classify them as chump.
I thought to myself, I'm different in that she lets me in on her modis operandi, but there will be a time when she does it to me. And she did. Boy does it hurt. I figure it will take twice as long as the pursuit time to get over her completely.
I hope in my case you don't say I need to man up and be there for her as a friend. That's what alot of these chumps do and it just makes her gleeful to see the defeated souls who know they've been defeated but keep clinging on for hope. Again, she's made me privy to her modus operandi.
So, anyways, I think with teases, at least in my case, the proper, manly thing to do is to cut them off completely.
This is tough. My impression is that she did like you at some point. When you didn't respond to her text, she took that as a minor insult. It's not enough of an insult to cut you off, but just enough to adjust her relationship with you in terms of text. I would just ask her what is wrong and apologize. But, you know have a bit of information to use. She doesn't take accidental slights lightly, nor does she tell you about them.
It feels like you have a hard time carrying on a light conversation. Most guys eventually end up peppering a girl with nosy questions about herself just to keep a conversation going. I've been guilty of it as well. No one wants to be interrogated, or judged for what they did. And sometimes being curious about a person can feel like that to the other person.
If the girl is insecure, if the girl is poor, if the girl is not reflective of her life, the more the girl does not like nosy personal questions. We can get into why this is so, but for now, you have a valuable piece of information you can use.
I suggest searching about how to be a good conversationalist. There are plenty of youtube videos that can help you.