There is value in being fearless and bold in the pursuit of your dreams. But for some guys, their dream is to date the most amazing girl they know to the point they don't know when to stop pursuing this dream.
So, let's have an honest look at when it may be time to give up.
How to Stop Pursuing Someone
Signs it May be Time to Stop Pursuing a Girl
In life, persistence often pays off. But when it comes to a guy pursuing a girl, it can be just plain confusing.
Danny wrote: There's this girl who I really like. But I have no idea whether she likes me or not. Sometimes she acts like she does, but other times she doesn't. I'm just confused.
Well, Danny - here are some obvious signs that it might be time to move on. But then keep reading for great tips on how to pursue a girl in a more appropriate way.
12 Signs to Move On
- When she obviously avoids you
- If you show an interest in her, but she seems to ignore you
- She acts one way around you, and another way around her friends
- No longer responds to your calls/texts/emails/snaps
- She asks you to stop
- Or tells you you're coming on too strong
- Your friends tell you to move on
- She talks to you about another guy she's interested in
- If she seems bothered, irritated or angry at you
- Your self-esteem starts to suffer for it
- You start to think you are going crazy about the whole situation
- If you're wondering if you should stop pursuing her, it's probably time.
Skye wrote: People need to use the common sense the good Lord gave them. When something in your head tells you not to do something, don't do it. You'll thank yourself later.
Roy wrote: Everyone I knew early on told us it would never work out, but I stayed with her to prove them wrong. In the end, it left me more broken and confused. Had I listened early on I would have saved myself a great deal of trouble and pain.
The most annoying guys are the ones who are convinced they have to be with this one particular girl, even though they might not even really know her. These guys are usually so strongly attracted to something about this girl, that he thinks he's in love before he even knows her.
Bottom line - if it is taking a lot of effort to get her interested and she is showing no indication she likes you, it is time to back off for both of your sakes.
How to Tell if a Girl Likes You
How Do Girls Show Signs of Interest?
This is one of those times in life where it’s best to just get the awkward part over with. Instead of trying to read “the signs,” go talk to her! Ask her how she feels, and be direct. Is that scary? Yes. Will it help you figure out what you need to know? Also yes.
Waiting around to see if you can interpret her interest level based on eye contact or emojis is a recipe for confusion, hurt feelings, anxiety, and a whoooooooole lot of time spent guessing that could have been spent dating!
There’s a catch, though: you have to accept her answer, whatever it is. If you approach her and ask if she’s interested in you or if she wants to go on a date, and she says “no,” you need to respect that. Don’t think that she said “no” and then continue reading into her body language, wondering if she was really playing hard to get. Take her at her word, give your feelings some time to recover from the rejection, and then start focusing on the good things you have going in your life.
Here are some things you could try saying, texting, or dming if you’re sure you’re ready to know, once and for all, if she’s interested:
“Hey ______, I really like talking to you, so I’m just gonna come right out and ask, would you go on a date with me?”
“I’m nervous, so I’m gonna spit it out—I like you. Do you like me back?”
“How would you feel about dating me? I think it would be really nice.”
“I like you. May I hold your hand?”
Don’t overthink it. You’ve got this.
So how can you pursue a girl in an appropriate way?
Relationships take time to develop. You can't force your way into someone else's life.
First, just seek to be friends.
Give yourself time to get to know her. But even more importantly, give her time to get to know you. You deserve someone who is interested in you, as well.
Second, don't act like your entire happiness depends on her realizing how wonderful you are.
That's a lot of pressure on a girl. She wants someone who is happy and confident in their own right.
Third, show her respect.
Most girls love to be pursued by a guy or viewed as someone special. Most of the time they appreciate a guy's persistence and confidence. But more than anything, a girl wants to be respected and valued. The more respect you can show as you pursue her, the better.
Fourth, give the chase a rest.
If you stop pursuing her, and give the chase a rest, you might find out the answer you're looking for. If she's interested in you, she may try to find out where you've been. She might actually become more interested in you, because you're not trying so hard. But you might also find that she doesn't care that you've stopped pursuing her. That's a good sign that you were pursuing the wrong girl. It's probably time to take a break, and hope that you can get to know each other as friends over time.
Fifth, relax.
Be relaxed in your pursuit of your dream girl. Don't act like your entire happiness depends on her realizing how wonderful you are. Keep in mind there are plenty of girls in the world, some of whom will find you attractive and well worth their time.
Sixth, don't change who you are.
I know you like this girl a lot, but you don’t want a relationship that is this much work. You don't want to pretend to be someone else just to stay in a relationship. That's exhausting. You deserve someone who likes you just the way you are! Create healthy boundaries for yourself. Boundaries are emotional markers that clearly define where one person ends, and the other person begins.
Healthy boundaries allow you to be free to be yourself, and not feel like your happiness is dependent on what another person thinks about you.
God created you just the way you are. You are uniquely you with your talents, sense of humor, interests, and style. God designed you with a purpose and has great plans for you. Don't let a girl ever make you question if you are good enough and if you should change.
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
Do you put yourself down all the time? Want to stop? Read this checklist of 10 ways to increase your self-esteem for a healthier self-image.
So how many months? Give us a figure.
Also, why don't girls just come out and say that? "Hey I like you, but I'm not ready for a relationship right now, I really need to think things through." If the guy isn't a complete loser, he'll get that you need your space and respect you even more for your honesty. If the guy takes that as a rejection, well what's new? Nothing changes but that you saved him from wasting his time.
Ask yourself this question, how hard would it be to be hanging out with her AND her boyfriend? What if the two start to display affections?
Would you be happy that she found that special someone that is NOT you? If you are, then sure, be her friend. But, if you will feel hurtful, just move on, immediately and abruptly is probably better than gradual.
So why not reply back to the guy with something like, "hey, sorry about that, I was really busy..." If you don't, then most guys won't think you are serious either. I understand the roles women and men play during the dating game, but sometimes giving a guy some feedback is helpful and can make us like you more.
this needs more likes. if you don't reply back to the guy saying you're sorry, it paints the picture in our heads that you aren't interested or just plain disrespecting the guy's time.
i fancied a woman in my work for over 4 years and told her one day how i felt, we texted not that often, we chat in work and over the last few years she went through a lot of crap with her ex, so to make her feel better about herself in the past ive sent her flowers, purchased expensive gifts and and asked her 6 times but one night she got drunk and made a pass at our boss who is married
That's right. It's 2015. You need stop being a little boy, grow up and be a man. Face it. Time to toughen up buttercup! Yes men have feelings too but it is manly to take the bull by the horns, it shows you have balls and can face any situation around the relationship not just in persuing her. And in her mind that's what she needs. Somone who can nurture her, protect her, respect her and be her hero amongst many other things. You see women love anticipation more than the destination. Men love the destination more than the anticipation. So if you pull away you could quite possibly be throwing away the love of your life. But of course do this with moderation, be her friend. Read the signs and always respect her, and her wishes. Forget about friend zoning nonsense.
No, that's called creeper, harasser and rape. It will never apply if such guy happens to be a David Gandy, it is THEN that he needs the "balls and horns" in an entitled opportunity. At least in the U.S., social culture is extremely disproportionate.
No. If u truly love someone never ever give uo unless you fall for other boys/girls...then that means you liked that person either because u find them attractive,wanted a relationship, and u give up easily becus all you want is a relationship and not sweet ""love. Thats actually me...i really love the girl that goes my church but she likes someone else so one day I would like to experience a miracle. And make her fall for me. But always have a back up plan in case you wait to long n it never came to past u cud move on swiftly
I have been in this relationship for a year. I know I was so hard always shouting insulting abusing.. But I finally have changed and she knows. She doesn't call anymorw... She doesn't exercise patience and gentleness again.. She insults me several times. We broke up and made up several times...I asked her several times if she is seeing someone else. She will say no. Sometimes she gets angry I asked. So I decided not to think of the heart break. I decide to give distance.. If she doesn't call I won't call.. And she started showing little care but still I think she is seeing someone wlse.
Women test you to the end of your days.The best thing is to be upfront with a girl you like - tell her you like her face to face as a man.Never go after a girl who overwhelms you.You will LOSE. State your claim get contacts and move on.Its the guy who DOES NOT CARE WHO GETS THE GIRL.Its time for you to move ON.Stop clinging to a girl who treats you that way.Find someone else.There is no girl important enough to tolerate that way.Meet other girls and widen your horizons, dont imprison yourself..women are looking for men not boys, even though a great deal of them will suffer from the instinctive decisions they make pursuing manly men who may cheat or abuse them..it is however fact that being a boy does not cut it.It is only the exceptional woman who has time to really analyse a guy for all he is worth...but mainly it is women who have been hurt by manly men........
Come out and state his position.If the girl fronts , ignore her and act indifferent.Never pursue a girl if she has has put you on ice.Only pursue a girl you have great chemistry with and make laugh effortlessly-that is the only time you chase a woman.She will love it.Do not become a girls poodle.The hero who makes love to the girl is a dark horse , not a pliable poodle.At the end of the day what one just needs to do is to be positive about themselves , dress well, groom themselves well, wear well fitting cloths have some style and look good and eat healthy.When you have a positive self image that will radiate, and the girls will like your style and your positivity and humour.Ultimately its about you not really the girl.A girl must be mesmerised by you not the other way round.She must believe in you, you must not be the one seeking acceptance.A woman is looking for a hero not a dwarf......dont be an emotional and effeminate man..women will stop respecting you.Self confidence is attractive, have many female friends...befriend the cute girls and the other girls will like you...positivity radiates....ultimately have a goal and chase it, the girls will chase you.You can lose a lot of money and things by trying to prove your worth to a girl.....
Spot on
Exactly!
I had posted a reply to you before and I'm not sure I read your post correctly or I was meaning to reply to someone else. After reading your post just now I have to say your words have struck a tone with me. I agree you should have a woman chasing you but you took it even further. You may have just woken me up. Thanks
Salute to your comment sir.