How Long Does it Take to Recover from a Breakup?

Breaking up is one of the hardest things we go through as adults. The end of a dating relationship, even a brief one, is painful and confusing.

If you’ve broken up with your boyfriend or girlfriend, it’s natural to wonder how long it takes to recover from a breakup. After all, you want to get back to feeling like yourself, and you want to enjoy your life again.

Healing after a breakup varies for everyone who goes through this experience. Here are some things I’ve noticed that influence the time it takes for things to feel like they’re getting back to normal after a breakup.

What Happened?

While what happened is beyond your control at this point, the circumstances of your breakup will impact how long it affects you, and to what degree. Pain, frustration, and sadness are valid after any relationship ends. But a breakup caused by a traumatic event like cheating or emotional abuse is more emotionally draining than when two personalities just didn’t mesh.

Trauma requires more specialized support, especially if you are dealing with intense depression or anger that you feel like you can’t control. Don’t rush the healing process, especially if you’ve been through an intensely painful experience. Reaching out to a mentor or counselor you can trust is going to be fundamentally important to finding a healthier perspective and more lasting healing.

Are You Ready to Let Go?

Breakups cause us to grieve the relationship we’ve lost. You’ve probably found yourself feeling like a part of you has died, even though you have to go on with your day-to-day life. After all, there was once care, companionship, and affection that’s not a part of your life anymore.

Recovering from a breakup is much like moving through the stages of grief. You’re going to feel differently on different days, depending on your life circumstances and how long you’ve been on this healing journey.

But in general, moving toward acceptance is a good way to develop healing habits after heartbreak. If you can work on accepting what happened, how you feel, and the fact that you will find happiness again, then the pain of your breakup won’t always be as intense as it is now.

If you are struggling with acceptance and picking yourself up after you fall into sadness, I find remembering God’s love to be calming and helpful. Even when having faith that things will get better feels impossible, He’s never far from us, and He has plans for our healing.

What Support Do You Have?

Your support system is critical when it comes to getting past the intense pain and frustration you feel after a breakup. It’s important to surround yourself with people who can support, encourage, and spur you on as you commit to healing from your heartbreak.

This could mean a therapist, someone in your faith community, your parents, or a close friend. Make sure the people you have supporting you are people you trust to tell you the truth, to be kind, and to help you stay hopeful about the future.

If you aren’t sure where to turn for support, you can start right here. TheHopeLine has helped many people rediscover happiness after breaking up, and we are here to listen. Talk to a HopeCoach whenever you need extra support. We are here for you, and we believe things will turn out well.

It seems like every great romance includes an inevitable heartbreak. But before you swear off relationships forever, read this blog.

Dawson McAllister
Dawson McAllister, also known as America's youth pastor, was an author, radio host, speaker, and founder of TheHopeLine. McAllister attended Bethel College in Minnesota for undergraduate work where he graduated in 1968, began graduate studies at Talbot School of Theology in California, and received an honorary doctorate from Biola University.
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