15 Signs Your BF-GF May Be Cheating On You

Do you have a feeling your boyfriend or girlfriend is cheating on you? If so, you should be aware of some telltale warning signs. Below, I give you 15 signs to test your relationship to determine if your boyfriend or girlfriend is cheating on you.

Do You Have a Feeling Your Boyfriend or Girlfriend Is Cheating On You?

But first...

How to Handle Cheating

Can You Tell If Someone Is Cheating?

Without asking whether your spouse or partner is seeing someone else, you may not know for certain if they are being unfaithful. Yes, there are common signs of cheating. People who cheat often seem defensive, or like they are hiding what they've been up to. They might spend more time away from you than usual. Or they might not be as affectionate with you as they once were. But all these circumstances could also point to different problems they're having that have nothing to do with infidelity. Claiming someone is cheating is a serious accusation without complete confirmation. If you are concerned about your partner's behavior, ask them about it directly before making assumptions that they are being unfaithful. For example, "It seems like you've been spending a lot of time away from home and I haven't been able to reach you when you're gone. What's going on? Is everything okay?" This may result in you learning the root of the problem, so you can talk through it. If your partner becomes defensive or lashes out, don't resume the conversation until you've gotten support for having these challenging conversations. Reaching out to a mentor or counselor is a safe way to talk through what you've observed and how your partner responds.

Can you relate to Angela's fear?

Angela's fear of her boyfriend cheating on her led her in all the wrong directions. "I always think in my head that he's cheating, so I want to cheat. Or if he's ignoring me, I don't know what else to do. Every time we fight and he doesn't show me love, I find it somewhere else. If he ever left me, my whole life would fall apart. But I never think about these consequences when I'm doing what I do. It's like drinking and driving; people know the consequences of drinking and driving but yet do it anyway because it seems okay or it's tempting."

Have you been hurt like Katrina?

Katrina had her trust shattered when she was engaged. "I caught my fiancé cheating on me. We had been together for 5 years and all he would tell me was that he wasn't happy. I think when he found that other woman, he uncovered feelings that he didn't feel with me. The worst part is that it went on for a month. He always would tell me he would never do something like this to me."

Now the test...

Test Your Relationship Against These 15 Signs Your Bf/Gf May Be Cheating On You

1. You begin to notice an emotional distance between the two of you. Things just aren't the way they used to be.

2. Your instinct tells you he or she is being unfaithful. Deep in your heart, you sense something has gone wrong with your relationship.

3. You begin spending less time together. Your bf/gf tells you he/she doesn't have the time for you like they used to.

4. The one you love so much stops asking you to go out and do special things together. Your boyfriend/girlfriend just doesn't have the time for you like before.

5. They suddenly start encouraging you to spend time with other people. Their rationalization is that if you spend time with other people, then I can too.

6. There's a distinct change in his or her schedule. They often make excuses for the extended time of running errands.

7. There are huge blocks of time your bf/gf is secretive about. They won't tell you where they have been.

8. You notice suspicious cell phone activity like secret texts, emails, or strange websites. Many people are caught cheating because of what is on their computers or cell phones.

9. He or she doesn't answer certain phone calls when you're around. They look especially panicked when the phone rings.

10. He or she doesn't talk to you about all their deepest feelings anymore.

11. They appear anxious when you're together and want to leave; maybe they say they're just tired. Cheating drains their emotional and physical energy because of fear they're going to get caught or from spending a lot of their time trying to cover their tracks.

12. You notice a sudden change in their appearance, or they have an increased concern about how they look. Your boyfriend or girlfriend probably has a new reason to look great, and that person is most likely the one they're cheating with.

13. He or she hangs around with a new best friend of the opposite sex a lot, even more than they spend time with you.

14. Your bf/gf spends time with his/her ex but claims nothing is happening.

15. He or she begins to be increasingly critical of you or blames you for cheating, even when you haven't. This is a way of putting you on the defensive and making them feel better about what they are doing.

Do you already know they're cheating? Read this...

Be aware. Don't Ignore The Warning Signs

The above indicators are all warning signs. If you notice multiple changes in behavior, routine or personality, and not just isolated incidences, you should confront them about these signs. You should always trust first, but don't ignore red flags.
It's also important to be aware that you can't always trust your "gut feeling." Sometimes it's just jealousy and insecurity creeping in.

Lexie has some closing words of advice for us: "I think what makes a good relationship is honesty. You cannot lie to the other person or cheat! That will seriously ruin everything in the relationship, and you might not be able to fix it after it's happened. If anything's wrong, tell each other and try to work it out."

Victoria: Her boyfriend's constant cheating drove her to attempt suicide.

How do I stop overthinking about cheating?

Overthinking about anything can be exhausting. Overthinking about cheating can be emotionally distressing and put a strain on your relationship. If you’re struggling to put the “what if” thoughts out of your mind, it’s important to address these concerns in a healthy way and find ways to ease your anxieties. Here are some steps you can try:

Open and Honest Communication

  • The first step is to communicate with your partner. Express your concerns and feelings openly and honestly. Share your fears and worries about the relationship. Maintaining a healthy, open dialogue with them can provide you with reassurance and ease any unfounded doubts.

Trust Your Partner

  • Trust is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship. Remind yourself that trust is vital, and your partner deserves to be trusted unless there's concrete evidence suggesting otherwise. Give them the benefit of the doubt, and treat them as trustworthy until you have a real reason to distrust them. Ask your partner to do some trust-building activities with you, if you’d like!

Self-Reflection

  • Take time to reflect on the reasons behind your overthinking. Are there past experiences or insecurities contributing to your fears about cheating? Overthinking can be a trauma response. It can also be a symptom of a number of mental health conditions. Understanding the root cause of your overthinking can help you address the issue more effectively.

Set Boundaries

  • Establish clear boundaries in your relationship. Discuss what is acceptable and what is not in terms of behavior, communication, and personal space. If you can be sure that your partner is on the same page as you are about what constitutes cheating, that may help provide you with a sense of security.

Build Self-Esteem

  • Boost your self-esteem and self-confidence. Self-doubt and overthinking often stem from low self-esteem. Engage in activities that make you feel good about yourself and work on personal growth. Check out our ideas for boosting self-esteem!

Seek Professional Help

  • If your overthinking is causing significant distress and impacting your quality of life, consider seeking help from a licensed therapist. They can help you explore your fears and anxieties, and provide strategies for managing them. They can also help you determine if your constant suspicions are founded in truth, or if they stem from another problem.

Limit Exposure to Triggers

  • If certain situations or triggers intensify your overthinking, try to limit your exposure to them. For example, if certain social media interactions lead to jealousy or overthinking, consider taking a break from those platforms. It’s important to note, though, that you can only reduce your exposure to certain triggers—you can’t force your partner to get off social media or forbid them from going to certain places. All you can do is communicate to them about the impact some triggers have on your overthinking, and make it clear that you’ll be avoiding those.

Practice Patience

  • Overcoming overthinking can take time. Be patient with yourself and the process. Ask your partner, friends, and trusted family for help when you’re struggling. We all have days when we feel anxious, and we all get frustrated with our brains sometimes. By taking these steps and seeking support when you need it, you can work toward a healthier, more secure relationship and reduce unnecessary anxieties about cheating.

Know your worth.

Whatever the outcome, You are Worthy of Love

If you find out your partner is cheating on you, do not let yourself think for a moment that you are not worthy of love. God created you to be just who you are, and He loves you as His precious child. In this messy, sinful world we live in, people will hurt each other. It doesn't mean you ever deserve to be hurt.  In fact, God desires that we love each other selflessly, the way He loves us.  This is how God describes love in the Bible.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.  (1 Corinthians 13:4–8)

For more verses of hope about God's plan for relationships, love, and sex, read these Verses of Hope for Cheating in Relationships.

Dawson McAllister
Dawson McAllister, also known as America's youth pastor, was an author, radio host, speaker, and founder of TheHopeLine. McAllister attended Bethel College in Minnesota for undergraduate work where he graduated in 1968, began graduate studies at Talbot School of Theology in California, and received an honorary doctorate from Biola University.
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331 comments on “15 Signs Your BF-GF May Be Cheating On You”

  1. True love does exist. Some may not believe it. But the reason for that is because you stick to someone who either you don't truly love or someone who you truly love. But they don't love you back. True love exists. Always has. You just gotta get out there and never give up hope.

  2. I have 25 and i have been dating the love of my life by 3 years, the form we came across was really great, we get along fine we have nice dates and spend a lot of time together, tough we are not perfect i have had troubles of course but we allways overcome it together as a couple. Whe are having a kind of long distance relation ship, and are separeted by 3 weeks and one week together, then when i have vacations we spend an incredible whole month together all the time. Our sex life is relly great, it just seemed to me that nothing will ever give us the hard trouble to split us, or so i thought cause we allways talk it through and move on. But a week ago i just received in fb some snap shoots from some unknown fb profile about my love talking dirty things with a guy frome her college, received 9 snap shot with info about her, those where, apparently, taken by someone who hacked or had access to her account and sent it to me. It jus crushed me and toke me to ashes, first i thought was some dude or girl who realle hates her guts and is trying to hurt her. Then i thought why somene would do something like that, too much effort just to tell me, and since then i have been something like a detecvtive, trying to find something that invalid that info, something that would make it seem false or modified. I sow a lot of flirting and some nick name i used to say to her, info about her inviting this guy to help her with her house cuange, which it happend cause i spend multiple days helping her with that, found also ugly things in the conversation, i could not beleive that, i was on shocked, cause we are in a long distance relationship and without trust we are doomed and i dont want to leave her she means everything to me. Anyways, i confront her and sendd her the info i got and she completely denied the veracity of and unknown people, i did some digging loking into that dude and all of a sudden clues appeard, it really hurt me. I know her tastes in music and some day she made me listening to some group different from her tastes, extrange in her cause she diden like that genre, i found that way had the video of that song posted on his fb. I also found that guy posted a phrase of a song and my girlfriend dedicated me phrase from that song conteined just two lines below the guy´s, which made me thing what are the odds of that to happen when there are millions of songs and inside the song many lines, why he posted that line and why she posted the other one on her whats sap status and dedicated me, it just same so odd!!!, i began to see many thing which my heart didnt want to realize. She said she has never talked to him like cero!! which makes me wonder if she is lying, i sow in fb she went to some college trip and that dude was on the picture jus thow rows from her, so i dont think she has never talked to him not even once like she tried to make me beleive. I dont think she is capable of shuch thing cause she loves me but she had been unavailable for long period of times during day and told me was because her battery ran out, and it happend to her alot!, i dont know what to thing, she blocked that guy from her fb and she does not sing in in fb since then. It just all separetely, the evidence i found, seems nothing, but together it seems something else. i tried to forgive her but the pain comes in and we end up fighting, me starting and she denying and telling me to trust her which i really do but all those things made me think what i really was cheated big time. i love her and i do not want to trash our whole love history, aour gols our dreams of traveling around the world or those of moving in together and having a family growing old, we some times talked that, though now i realized was just me and she playing along, i dont know what to do, we currently cant move closer because colleges and i cannot share and met those dreams to the girl of that messages i really cannot although i told her that i would forgive her being that true or not, which she keeps denying it. why someone would do those things, emailing me those snapshoots, and the idea of that being the ooposate of fake is haunting me. And she tells me she doesnt want to break up, she cryed and wonder why someone would that to us, when i asked her about the ocntent and veracity of the snapshoot she said she didnt write that down, that she has never never not a single once has talked with that guy, so she implyied the content whas fabricated, which i wouldnt see the point, the required effort to tear us apart, and that goal is currently being accomplished, due that the wonder makes me doubt her and i stop being lovely to her and start telling her the new evidence i found which make the pictures true, i am just lucking for clues to disprove that snapshoots and wind up findind the opposite. i dont know what to do cause i think i will never know the trut cause she would never come clean beacuse she loves me and wont jepardize what we have, and by other hand if she did that why would i keep the long distance relationship going which for lack of money from her part, which is tru, i am the one who for tree years has going to and fro to see her, she just really few times. now i am worn out with the doubts and wonder about what if she did that, what if she is telling the truth, what if she reallly loves me but had a slip with that stupid, to whom i confront him in fb to tell me what happend, he ignored me, then i got mad and insulted him and threatened him that i would find him, and you now, pure anger talking. it is more odd why he left me in seen(im mexican do not know how to say when those marks appear in fb when spotted), if he was blamed for somthing false he shouldhave said to me it wasnt true or something alike, but he didnt care. i dont see some one making fake accounts and then inventing false conversations with info about my girl, besides the ocnversation seems flowing, i mean it does not appear to be invented or lame, it seems authentic. what to do?

  3. My boyfriend has dumped me twice in the past couple of months because of this girl that he likes but like the idiot I am I took him back because I love him. But now is friends are telling me that he has her name saved under something else on his phone and that they keep planning on hanging out together alone. Now I've spoken to him about this and he swears it isn't true. And today he told me he doesn't want to come round because he doesn't feel well and I believed him but because I was worried about what his friends said I asked his mum if he was ok because he told me he was 'ill' but his mum told me that he hasn't been home all day and stayed round his mates house last night and was drinking, so I thought alright I'll let it slide as long as she wansnt there. But I then, not long ago, got a message from his mate telling me that he actually stayed at her house last night, was drinking and tried it on with her. Now I don't want to believe that's true and I've asked him about it but he's at work so he can't reply so I was just wondering what to do.

    1. If he dumped you twice for another girl, clearly he does not realize what he has. He's not committing himself to you like he should be. You definitely deserve better my dear.

  4. I've been with my wife for 17yrs. Back in 2009 she had a job working with a co-worker whom she talked about constantly. Come to find out, which she already knew was sleeping with every female he came into contact with. When she got pregnant they played around secretly about our child being his. In 2015 a snow storm came where my wife had to get a hotel alone in order to make it to work, after returning home for the first week she would take 3-4 showers a day. Shortly afterwards a sex video came out on fb which was uploaded around the time she was in the hotel. The video was posted by one of the guys friends and was secretly recorded though i couldnt see the womans face after 17yrs i know what my wife sounds like, not to mention my wife contracted an STD which she tried to blame me for.Outta anger i kinda hinted hust to see what kinda reaction i would get out of this guy and he's pretty much played into it exactly like i knew ge would. My wife denies cheating so i just wanna second opinion as to what im feeling. Does this sound like shes cheated to anyone else?

  5. So, I found my boyfriends profile back up on the website we met and he moved back in July up north and on his profile he said "I've been in NY for 5 months now." I even asked him and he said that someone got his information but how is that possible, when everything on the profile was correct about him. And, you have to pay to use the website and he said when he called his bank for his credit card that there was $160 was charged. And, the website price is $80 per/mnth. We've been together for a year and 4 months now. I took screen shoots of the profile and showed them to him when he came into town to visit me. And, his face said it all. Help.

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