Dawson’s Blog

My Parents Don’t Approve Of Who I’m Dating

parents don't approve

What If My Parents Don’t Approve Of My BF/GF?

Finding someone to love who loves you in return is difficult. Learning how to deal with conflicts within that relationship can be extremely painful, as well. But it’s entirely different when, for some reason, you discover your parent(s) disapprove of the person you are dating.

It can make any dating relationship devastating and put strain on your home life.

Never secretly date someone your parents don’t want you to date. The grief will get you.

When you discover your parents strongly disapprove of your bf/gf, your first inclination will be to pull away from them and continue your dating relationship behind their back. This doesn’t do anybody any good. Never secretly date someone your parents don’t want you to date. Having secrets and lies between you and your parents ruins trust and causes needless stress and drama which will affect your self-esteem, grades, and even your other friends.

Just because they are your parents and you don’t agree with them doesn’t make them dumb.

Disagreeing with your parents regarding a bf/gf does not make them dumb.

Just because they are your parents and you don’t agree with them doesn’t make them dumb. In fact, the opposite is true. Although far from perfect, they have years of experience and wisdom you don’t. This can allow them to see the character faults in your bf/gf a whole lot easier than you, especially if you’re blinded by the deep emotions you feel for your bf/gf. Many times your parents are right. They have the advantage of perspective or big picturethey realize over 90% of high school dating ends up not working out. Parents remember their own good and bad choices while dating. They just want you to be protected from bad consequences which could affect the rest of your life.

The fact of the matter is most people spend very little time researching and getting to know the other person before they start dating, they just jump into the relationship. Many parent’s fears are well founded. They have fears of unwanted pregnancy, date rape, drug use, physical abuse, or simply having their children get a needless and unnecessary broken heart.

Carolyn commented she first had to try and figure out why her parents didn’t like her boyfriend. They said he lied, cheated, and I shouldn’t be involved with him. They also said he pushed me around too much. So I thought about what they said and talked to more people. The more people I talked to, nobody wanted us together. It wasn’t just my parents. Chances are, your parents have more wisdom than you do and it’s a good idea to take their advice. 

Parents want you to be protected from bad consequences which could affect the rest of your life.

What Actions can you take with your parents regarding the bf/gf they disapprove of?

The best thing you can do is to sit down with you parents and calmly, with great respect, ask what it is they don’t like about your bf/gf and what you can do to lessen their fears and objections. Another question you could ask them is What should my bf/gf do to win your trust?Be willing to listen to what they have to say. Never argue with them about it. That never works. It only shows them you are too immature to be in the relationship they are so worried about.

They will appreciate your desire to learn from their wisdom and respect their point of view. Remember, most of the time they are right and who wants to gamble with the few times they might be wrong, just for the sake of having a bf/gf.

Set up a meeting?

Ask you parents if they would be willing to meet with your bf/gf and have them explain their reservations to him/her. If your bf/gf refuses to meet with your parents, that’s a sure sign he/she is not respectful to you or your parents. You may want a third party to sit in on this discussion between you and your bf/gf and your parents. This will help keep everyone’s emotions in check.

Sometimes parent’s expectations for whom you should date can be too high, but most of the time your expectations are too low.

 

Sometimes parents’ expectations for whom you should date can be too high, but most of the time your expectations are too low. Are you willing to settle for someone who might be harmful to you in the long run, if they appear to show interest in you in the short term? Your parents can help you answer that question without all the emotional fog you are experiencing.

Most parents will appreciate a bf/gf who wants to make the effort to get along with them. As you identify the problems and come up with the plans to fix them, you will be well on your way to more healthy and positive relationships with you, your bf/gf, and your parents. Don’t forget, while boyfriends and girlfriends come and go, parents, and their wise counsel, are forever.

Check out my blog on How you can know your bf/gf is cheating on you.

Free eBook! Dating Relationships from TheHopeLine!

Dawson McAllister Dawson McAllister (born in New Kensington, Pennsylvania) is an American speaker, radio host, and author. He is the founder of Dawson McAllister Association and TheHopeLine and host of the national radio program Dawson McAllister Live, which is aired on Sunday nights. Dawson has been speaking to and in support of teenagers and young adults for over 40 years.
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  • Shelly

    I love someone who’s black and my parents don’t approve. I’ve been hiding it from them talking to him. What should I do?

    • Kayleythehelper

      First you need to ask yourself if you really love him and if he really loves you. You need to know if its serious or your parents may not take you seriously. If they haven’t heard about him before, try introducing him as a friend and let your parents see him in a perspective other then your boyfriend. If this method has been working and your parents think he’s a nice guy then sit them down and break the news to them. Try doing this on a day when your parents are in a good mood. Try doing chores without them asking you for the day, and when you can see they are impressed with you, tell them.

      If the reason they don’t like him is because he is black, if they haven’t met him or know that he’s black, try talking about him, not mentioning that he’s black, only talk about his good sides, but don’t let it slip that you’re dating. Then if they think he sounds nice, introduce him to your parents. They will be a little shocked, but if they heard all this good stuff about him, they might accept it.

      If they have met him, and still disapprove, then try talking about this new guy, but make sure your bf doesn’t know or it

    • Elizabeth R

      my parents are the same way. my brother has the same issue. He doesn’t really care what people think. if you really like this person i say go for it! even if its yor parents. but don’t let that person get in between yall. your parents love you.

  • Charlotte

    recently I have been seeing this guy, he is 6 years older than me. I have been with a person older than me before and it didn’t work so I understand that my mum will be anxious when I tell her but I am afraid that because he dresses a little more casual than most and because he has gone through a lot in his life my mum would be afraid I will become his counsellor. I just do not know what to do when I tell her because I am scared she will say I should not be with him but he hasn’t hurt me or the people in my life, he is honest with me and people do not say bad things abut him. he just lacks a little self esteem, what should I do?

  • Bre112345

    I need help …I’m 15 and my bf is 17 but my parents really don’t like him anymore …we dated for a year and 7 months …his mom loves me but its just my parents think he’s to old and yes but my mom did the same thing with my stepdad .he was 2 years older than her also … We text and as we got further into our relationship he started talking about inappropriate things and I totally agree with them when it comes to that but the age thing , that’s not fair

  • danielle

    i’ve been going out with my boyfriend for 5 months and i love him but mum wants us from stop seeing each other what do i do??!

  • Julia

    I’m a freshman in high school and I’m dating a sophomore. He respects me and said that he wouldn’t push me into doing anything but my parents think that because he’s 15 and I’m 14 we can’t be together even though when my mom was my age she was dating a junior. When I brought it up she got mad and said tht this wasn’t about her. He’s my first bf and i really care about him and he cares about me. We’ve barley been together for two days and they’re saying tht we don’t know each other as well as we should so I have to break it off. I don’t want to and I don’t know what to do anymore!! ;_;

    • John

      This is y I never told my parents about my gf and she never told her parents I’m almost 16 and she’s 14 and I knew that if she told her parents they would freak out thinking that I would do something

    • Elizabeth R

      i can relate kinda. i like this sophomore too and hes 15 but my parents dont approve of him. not because hes a grade older but because they dont agree with how we “talk” i guess you could say.

  • desperate girl

    Hey am 18 and my boyfriend is 22 ..he’s perfect and any girl would wish dating him .but the problem is my parents disapprove him because they don’t like his relatives and they have banned me from talking to him .but I feel this guy is the one and many friends know him to be kind honest and amazing .what should I do ? Parents strongly disagree .should I continue and go against their will as am doing now ??

  • Mandiiii

    I like this guy that’s 18 turning 19 and I’m 16 turning 17 but my mom doesn’t approve because he has a kid so she forbids me to see or talk to him. But we still talk to eachother what do I do to make her understand that I really like this guy.

  • Tessa

    I need some help. My boyfriend dosent live in the best area I’m the tin but it’s not the worst. He’s amazing guy but my parents don’t like him because of the area he lives in. He grown up a hard life with his parents not really being parents. He is amazing thought. He is respectful, kind, funny and just so much more. He hates drugs and alcohol but the problem is that he told me his parents do drugs and the only reason he is still where he is at is because of his grandmother. I don’t know what to do because if my parents find out about it the changes of us still being able to be together is over. I don’t want that! He makes me fell safe and is very protective of me. He practically raised himself. He dosent want me to meet his parents for that reason. What do I do to convince my parents that he is not who his parents are!?

  • abhi

    My girlfriend loves me nd even we both r of same caste but she is too scared of parents she says ….I love u bt I cant accept I coz my parents will nt accept love so no question of talking about u ….but I love u…but we’ll be best friend I tried a lot and I am still trying to convince her that I ll wiw her parents trusts but still she says I dunno but I dunt wanna loose u but she can’t accept me coz of her parents plzz do say me or give any suggestion how to convince her seriousz I wanna marry her nd walk widh her

  • Cassi

    What if u dated a guy for four months at the age of 17 and he was 24 parents found out, forbid u to see him and now I’m under house arrest..l turn 18 in 5 months, if we still end up wanting to be together how would they ever approve? This is why we lie

  • hopless and about to give up

    I can really relate to that bc im also 13 and i live this girl but both our parents dont want us dating and it makes me mad and i dont want to lose her

    What should i do?

  • brooke

    I am a senior in high school fixing to graduate I have a great job and a loving family a bright future a head of me! I recently been talking to this guy who may not be the best choice for me but I feel as though I could like home the only thing he has a child how could I explain this to my parents

  • Bionce Marie

    I was going over my boyfriends house after school. Knowing that this could cause problems with my parents. Eventually I got caught and lied to my parents about everything. Although they already knew the truth. After they told me that they had found out were I had been going from my sister. I told them the truth about everything and that I had been going over to his house for sexual relations. Normally I am pretty truthful with my parents. But they make it very difficult to talk to them. They have taken away my sweetsixteen, phone, and privaliges. I love my boyfriend and we will be 1 year next month. I’m not sure what’s going to happen with me and him. I don’t know what to do and I want my parents to trust me. All of this is so stressful and I just want to be over it.

  • Depressed

    I’m a 14 year old girl and have been dating my bf for 8 months, coming 9. Since our first monthsary, my parents did not approve of our rs as they said that we’re too young. They recently found out that we are still in a rs, and my bfs teachers now know about it too. the adults are trying to break us up. I really am trying to let him go, but its really hard. i really love him and cannot bear to break his heart. he told me once that he once imagined that i told him our rs was over, and he cried that night. this is causing me to be in a dilemma. my parents think that we would soon be kissing and doing things that we shouldnt do, but i wont. WE’RE TOO YOUNG at this age. i know my limits. how should i even tell him?

  • College Girl <3

    I am a college student, and my boyfriend and I of three years decided to take a break. I do love him, but if he is going to be with me he needs to grow up a little. He drinks and doesn’t have very many goals. Since we have been apart, he has put himself into alcohol rehab and is looking into schools. And seems to really be getting his life on track. I told him I refuse to be with him until i see improvement, which to me he has been. But i would like to see a little more. Prior to all of this, my parents didn’t like him. And the biggest reason honestly is because he isn’t my ex.Obviously they want me to be with someone who has a future, which i understand. And I realized that he needs to if he is going to be with me. I work to hard to be with someone with no goals. I want nothing to do with my ex. They just don’t respect my decision. Now that he has planned these goals, and is seeming too get on track of making a life. And he updates me on everything because he does want to me with me. With paper proof, because I’m a person who believes, don’t tell me, show me. If he keeps this up, I would love him in my life, because he has so much potential and can be such an amazing person. He has always put me first. He just needs to grow up a little. How do deal with this with my parents if i get back with him?

    • John

      hey can I call you

      • TheHopeLine

        We don’t allow posts with personal information like phone numbers or emails for the safety of everyone. If you want to talk please contact TheHopeLine http://www.thehopeline.com/GetHelp/ We are here for you 24/7

  • TheHopeLine

    The part of you that “something’s holding me back” from running away with someone you have only known a month is your intuition. It is wise to be cautious. Please call and talk through this with one of our HopeCoaches 1-800-394-4673 (HOPE). We are here for you 24/7. Please call. We care about you.

  • Celeste

    My boyfriend’s parents forbid him to see me because they think I’m a slut, which a matter of fact is not true. I love him very dearly and he loves me,we’ve been dating for a year and a half and only recently his mother decided that he must under no circumstance have any contact at all with me, they took away his phone and if we are seen together they shout at him and punish him. Recently his mother said to me i must “stop luring him in”. I never in my life lured him in to do anything. I care so much about him, he means everything to me. We are great together, but his parents do not see it. I feel that this is unnecessary and stupid. Why take the person i love away from me because you have a false perception of me?

    What should i do to fix this?

    • TheHopeLine

      I am sorry you are going through this. It sounds very frustrating and discouraging. Our HopeCoaches are available 24/7 if you want to talk on the phone or chat online – http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/ We are here to listen and give encouragement.

  • John

    If your parents don’t approve of who you’re dating then oh well because If they really cared about you being happy then they’ll support you unless he/she is 20 times your age and your young that’s different.So who cares if they don’t like your Bf/Gf be happy and work hard in school and find jobs now and save up money and when you turn 18 go off to college with them and/or move out of your parents house then they can’t use the excuse that you live under their roof. Get experience on working and looking for jobs now so when you go to college or move out you won’t have to call them asking them for money or for favors.

  • michael

    Im 18 an my girlfriend is 16 ive been dating her for 2 years its her dad that.has the problem with me we are in love with eachother but he said he doesnt want us together he calls me a loser so i get angry about it an go off and the reason he doesnt like me is because i have an.attitude but i wouldnt have that attitude if he didnt keep calling me.names we are madly inlove and wanna be together but he is stopping her from being with me we have to lie about things to see eachother and thats like once every week any other time we talk on the phone ive sent him messages apologizing for my actions and he just tells me to leave him alone and let that be a warning

  • LR

    Maybe the parents want someone perfect for their daughter. Ever heard of arranged marriage?

  • Amaya

    Me and my boyfriend have been dating for two years. I’ve been sneaking behind my moms back knowing that she doesn’t like that were together. Since I have been hiding it, I sneak out of the house to see him and it’ll be so late at night… I’m honestly lowkey scared to talk to her because the last time she talked to me about him, it was pretty clear that she had no disire what so ever to even try to like him because she was going on about what kind of person he’ll turn out to be… But how could she be so sure? Anyways, my boyfriend can’t stand that I haven’t talked to her yet and I can’t ignore the situation myself because I don’t want to loose him but I’m scared my mom won’t except what we have. I don’t even know how to start off this conversation about me and him…

  • 29ready

    For the last 4 years I have been seeing someone here in the U.S. We do love each other but I am not in love with him. I recently travelled back home ( foreign country) and reconnected with an old friend who is 13 years older than I am. Crazy as it may sound, we love each other and it’s someone I am very familiar with ( grew up together) the probl is ( according to my parents) he is a divorcee and with two kids. This is perfectly fine with me but my parents are totally against it. They think am too good for him and also that we may have problems in future with his ex wife n her family. They have been separated about 7 years and do not communicate. My dilemma is should I listen to my parents and cut him off and continue with my bf here( whom am not 100% with ) or should I ignore them and go ahead and marry the older guy since I have a dropper connection with? Let me mention am very comfortable with guy no 2. Mainly because we come from the same place and understand each other better . I love mad respect my parents and I don’t want to ruin our relationship, but… At the same time I choose happiness. Please advice

  • Lynn

    I’ve been dating a guy for 4 months behind my parents back, they won’t let me date him otherwise. I really do love him but if I try to talk to them they take my phone and ground me. What should I do?

  • NIC

    I’ve been on and off with this guy for 8 years , he had a trouble past because of drugs landed him in prison , he caused trouble with my parents years ago so they see badly of him. As speaking to him I can tell he has changed and I’ve given him another chance , how do I convince my parents he’s changed and grew up and willing to treat me well so their opinion could change of him?

  • Lost

    I am in my late twenties and my boyfriend is thirty. We met at work. He is everything I want in a significant other; however, we don’t come from the same religion or culture. This isn’t an issue for me but I will be for my parents. My parents are very traditional, and dramatic. My parents haven’t ever met any of my prior boyfriends. As far as they are concerned, to them I have never dated. We are getting to the point where marriage is something we both want in the coming few years. How should I tell my parents. Let me add, do to financial issue they are going through I have recently moved back with them to help them out.

  • Daya

    I’ve been in a ldr for 7 months. We took a break last month, and didn’t talk any. My parents were pissed now my dad hates him, but now we’re stronger than ever. What do I do? We’re 20 & 24

  • M

    My girlfriend never did anything wrong. Yeah me and her got it to the occasional fight but we always fixed it and everything was OK. And my parents are forcing me not to see her. They are way wrong with how they see her. And I bet they know there wrong also

  • Anastasia Zaberezhny

    I have a muslin boyfriend we had 9 month relationship we loved each other a lot. My mom liked my boyfriend she thought that he is so kind guy and was never hurt me. My boyfriend had very hard character and i cried a lot, because he was ever cut my calls, not wanted to talk after fight, told me that i ever wrong everywhere. I never showed to my mom that I cried or been hurt. But sometimes my mom sow how i cried and calmed me down. One time I didn’t pick his calls because i was to busy to getting redy for Homecoming with him. We had to meet at school at 7:00 pm and i didn’t pick up his calls because I couldn’t find my phone. When I called him back he said that we are not going no where because I didn’t pick up his calls and he broke up with me. I cried a lot and my mom help me a lot. But i knew that we broke up just for time like a “rest”
    He wrote me he called me he apologized a lot. I forgived him, but then when my mom new that we back together she yell at me not letting me to comeback to him she said that he is wrong person for me and we are too different people. That he always hurting me and I always cry. I said to my mom that believe me he didn’t want today hurt me and that will be the lest time. I cried a lot and she cried with me and she allowed me too be with him. The biggest problem is.. That after 2 months i broke up with him because I didn’t like how he act with me. He showed me that him not really interesting with me. I broke up with words that I can’t handle your character he understood and we wasn’t talk fot 3 day’s. My mom new about it she calmed me down she said how bad he is and how good I’m and he doesn’t deserve me. After week he start write me a lot he asked me to come back he cried he apologized he really loved me. I didn’t answer to him on any of his sms. But he texted me about a month he said he will change and he will never hurt me again. Two days ago we talked in Skype and he apologized for every his mistake, he said that he was not normal person witch hurt me a lot, he said that he will neve do like this again. I saw his eyes i saw how he acted and we back together. He changed his relegean and he talked to me with respect because I know how much he loved me. He never hurted me a lot he just had a hard character. The things is I don’t know what i have to do I nerves a lot and i have a lot of problems when I nerves. My mom doesn’t know that we back together and she will not allow me to be with him. When i came into her room and she asked me how my ex boyfriend actting? And when i answered that we talk sometimes she yelled at me and took all my electronics away. She called me stupid and walk away. I know and I understand my mom because she loved me with all her heart. And even now she came in my room and said that i hav to give her all my electronics back I really worry and don’t know what to do.

  • luciana

    I am in the same position only my boyfriend is younger than me and smaller than me he is 14 and I m 15

  • phoebe rose

    Im 17 and my boy friend is 22 and in Louisiana where i live im at the age of consent and my father is telling me i cant date him. Can he do that? ive thought about leaving home so i can see him…

  • Kelsey

    So my best friend and I only started dating not too long ago. He’s really respectful to me and we can talk about everything. He’s 14 and i’m fifteen, he doesn’t have as good an education as I because his parents have financial troubles and his parents aren’t exactly the nicest and don’t like my parents. For the time we’ve been dating, it’s been behind my parents backs. It’s only behind their backs because when I discuss relationships with my mother, her expectations for a partner are very high. She wants a tall older boy, with a good education and great parents who we can holiday with if the relationship were to go further and what’s more, they don’t like his parents. We always seem to have this exact same discussion frequently and the more we talk about it, the more afraid I become of coming out to my parents and telling them about my boyfriend. I don’t want to disappoint my parents but this boy is just something else. I want to tell them so badly, but i’m scared because of their expectations and I don’t want to disappoint them. But I really am in love with him and he loves me. We have boundaries and we talk about what is inappropriate for us at our ages and we understand what we should and shouldn’t do. I bring him around to my place a lot and although we’re dating, we’re still best friends and this makes it easier to socialize with him around my parents because we do what we always do; play halo 2 on the Xbox and scream at each other and of course, this makes it easier to hide it from my parents but I really don’t want to hide it from them anymore. I don’t want them to find out from someone else and lose all trust in me, i’m torn and I need some advice. There’s only so much you can learn from reading things on the internet. I need advice from someone else who’s in the same situation

  • The Bad Boyfriend

    Even though I was on the butt end of being the bad boyfriend, I do agree that she let her standards down. Her family was a real pain about it, got us to break up by never letting up on me… always judging first, trying to convince her I’m a terrible person. Thing is, they were right. I’m a nice guy with a punk attitude. She needed a guy with a bit more respect for the norms of life, since her family prided itself on its correctness, something I never understood or respected. Too verbally clumsy for that.

  • Tyra

    I’m having the same problem..

  • Jolina Empal

    Hi i’m a 17 year old girl from holland, so there is this guy named carlos he is 23 years old and we met throught facebook but i usually saw him in the city i used to live before then he started following me on instagram and we strated to talked to each other and meet each other but at first i did’nt expected him talking to me because he has an important job and has a daughter of 2 years old but when we knew each other more we felt in love untill i told my parents about him it went good at first but when i start talking about her daughter my parent were’nt agreeded so i needed to stop seeing him but it’s hard for me to stop thinking him cause i haven’t been so deeply inlove before could you give me some tips?

  • Dewi Wulandari

    I have long distant relationship, we met online. He visited me once since our 4 moths date. we only spent 2 weeks bcz he had to back to his work in his country and we r arranging our next meet on november. My family found out later, and they disappoved our long distant relationship. They don’t like bcz we r too far. He is in India and i am in Indonesia. I don’t know what to do. I love him and i love my family too. Maybe it’s too selfish of me if i want to hold them both.

  • Thomas

    So I am 22 and have been dating my girlfriend for five years and have been best friends for 10. My parents were never wild about her but never stopped us. About a year ago we moved in together with two of our other friends, Again they didn’t like me moving out(about 2 hrs away). We decided not to renew our lease and ended up buying a house that was much closer to my parents (a few towns away). I also recently decided that I am ready to take our relationship to the next step and plan to ask her to marry me in the next coming months. Now the two of us have talked about getting married and having kids in the past so I decided to mention it to my parents that it has been talked about and that our intentions are there. That is when it hit the fan. My parents have refused to go to any wedding and have ostracized the two of us from nearly my entire family. and to say that if any kids came into the picture that they would not be related to them in anyway. They also refused to let me see my Dad when he was in the hospital, the only updates I’m getting are through my brother and sister, So one of the worst parts is that family is so important to my girlfriend that I don’t know what to do. We both have tried talking to them on many occasions and don’t get an answer to go on

  • Megan Conner

    me and my bf have been dating for 2 years 4 months,.. our relationship is kinda complicated and has ups and down.. however, we manage to clear things up. my parents didnt know about our relationship but my mum kept asking me about him weather he is my bf or not and she keep saying im too young to date and i have to concentrate on my studies (im 19 btw with a good result) so i chose to lie to her saying he is just a friend (eventho he come to my house and enter my room almost every 3 days). and recently, something big happened, we made a mistake and my mum read my whatsapp msg and she found out everything about me and him. she was very angry that i lied to her all this long because she gave her trust to me. This mistake have given me a very big impact to my career and our relationship and also my relationship with his parents. everyone in my family now dislike him as a guy/friend/boyfriend because he do not have his own decision, they claimed that he is like a dog following everything i said. and they keep saying he cant be a good leader if i have a family with him. I really dont know how to clear this mess up. His family thinks that he is a bad influence and my family thinks that I’m the bad influence to him but he as a guy should stop me from doing such mistakes. But the reality is, both of us agreed to do so and made the same mistakes together. Now I really don’t know how to clear this mess up please help me.

  • Budi jaya

    Me and my girlfriend have been together for 1 year and a half. We r so perfect for each other and i love her so much so does she. We r 9 years apart(she is older than me) but that doesnt stop me loving her. I really feel that she is the right one and i can see my future with her. My parents r strongly disagreeing with our relationship for 2 main reasons. My dad doesnt want our family to be an embarrasment (mostly of his selfishness because he doesnt want his friends to think badly about him), My mom is afraid that we will not last together and ill have to suffer when im older. (because my gf is gonna be old and i will not be satisfied with my gf anymore). I know deep down these two main reasons r not gonna happen since nobody has been laughing at us or disapproving our relationships except them. My parents havent even meet my gf but they r already have this view towards our relationship. I have nver hid our relationship from them and always make sure that their worries are not gonna be a problem but they r nt listening to me. Im studying abroad so my parents havent got to know her yet. Please help!

  • Taking the relationship slowly is very wise. The foundation of lasting relationships is friendship. As you both show maturity in how you handle this your parents will eventually approve as they see your actions.

  • Deligent

    Hi guys your stories hook me

  • The fact that he broke a clear boundary definitely shows disrespect towards your mother and also it is disrespectful towards you. Would you consider chatting with a HopeCoach about it? We can listen and help you put things in perspective. You deserve respect and if he is not respecting your parents then he is probably not respecting you either. Chat with us – https://www.thehopeline.com/GetHelp/

  • Sarah

    I am dating someone who has a child. I have met his 4 year old daughter and we bonded right off the bat. I am a substitute teacher at the moment but am certified k-6. I’ve been dating him now for 3 months. I am 24, and he is 28. He is divorced. I have to say that I know he is my person. We are meant to be together. He feels the same way. I usually don’t toot my own horn, but with him I believe everything he says. I’ve never had someone make me this happy and make me believe in myself. I’ve been in many relationships and know he and his daughter is my future. I love at home. His family loves me and I adore them too… So here is the problem…… My mom had dad like him, but I can tell thy feel like I deserve better and think I can’t achieve my life dreams if I date him and eventually marry him. I don’t know this 100% but my dad keeps bringing up to me when he isn’t around that my “perfect man” is out there… And apparently when my mom and him were talking out back , she said ” I want the best for Sarah(me).” He thinks she doesn’t like him and doesn’t see him in my future. She has told me she likes him but thinks him having a daughter is a big deal and I shouldn’t jump into things. Me and him have talked and we aren’t getting married or engaged or having kids any time soon but we will in the distant future (maybe 2 or 3 years). what can we do? He is upset bc usually people like him 100% of the time and everyone falls in love with his daughter . But. The other day they met her for the first time and I thought it went well. He said he got a vibe from my mom that she doesn’t like him and doesn’t feel he is good enough for me… I don’t know what to do. What do you think?

  • moony

    sounds like you have narcissistic parents!

  • Elizabeth R

    i can relate too. its hard. ive been keeping it a secert. im not suppose to be having a snapchat right now bc of something that happen and i dont have my phone till next week but ive been using my friends phone to snapchat him and im so happy now. you are allowed to like or love who ever you please. its been a couple of months since weve talked and i was so upset. there wasnt a night where i didnt cry myself asleep bc of a “fight” we had. now im so happy. do what makes you happy and dont let anyone take that away from you. you do you!

  • Delilah

    In my freshman year, I began to like this boy, who later became one of my best friends. We dated in our sophmore year. We texted all the time, and one day we were messing around with the whole dirty talk shinanagens. and my dad took the phone and kept it until my mom got home. We had this huge argument amount self respect and eberything, but they just dont understand that it was a joke. Now im 18 and me and him are back together but my parents dont approve. she says that ever since that happened she will never allow us to be together. i dont want to use the ” im 18″ card, but he honestly does make me happy.

  • Divya108

    I am an Indian girl and I am 18 and I am have been dating a guy since 4years and the boys parents know about me and arw happy but my parents don’t want me to be with the guy because of the society!

  • Nicegirl Darky

    I’m 17 and i like a guy who is now 20 we meet again 2-3years ago my mom was dating someone who was distant related to him but we were not and we started talking and we both fell in love but my mom has stoped us cuz she doesn’t like him at first I try to forget about him and then we started to talk sercetly and we broke up cuz of the family issues and distance then after almost a year we meet again and can’t jus help ourself we have never had sex but always talk and want to be with each other and then broke up again for the same reason. Almost another year and we meet again jus 2-3 days ago and so much has change but not my feelings . My mom still don’t like him and I’m afraid he might not feel the same but if he do what am I too do my mom would not let me date him if she knew and I don’t wanna lie.I’m almost done with school would it make a difference to her if I’m eighteen or should i just forget him and how i feel and jus be with whoever she approves even if I don’t really like him as much .

  • Isabella

    I am dating a boy who graduated from my school last year, and i have been hiding it from my parents as i was scared about what what their reaction would be. My parents have just found out that i am dating him, my mum knows who he is as my mum works at my school. However my parents reaction to me dating him was very serious and against the idea of me dating him, my parents are now making me choose between dating him and loosing my home and having to find somewhere to stay myself, or loosing him and still having a home to live in, what should i do???

  • Alyson

    My parents don’t like my boyfriend because he is a recovering addict. I have known him and his family for 6 years now and I know he has the capability of staying clean if he really wants to. Not only have they never met him or had a conversation with him they continue to judge him based on mistakes made in his past. To make matters more complicated they are unable to meet him now because they moved across the country. Every single one of my family members say he’s no good for me when they have never met him. No one is supporting my happiness and I just don’t know what to do anymore. I honestly believe that this guy is the one and no one will support me. What do I do?

  • Sin Genevie

    hi I am gay and I currently have a girlfriend. my parents found out about my gf 4 months ago and they immediately wanted me to break up with her. my parents said that they do not approve of her they do not support homosexualilty. they started pressuring me to go church and take counselling and they wanted me to stop being with anyone who supports homosexualilty. they only let me go out with people from church and people who have good values. i haven’t broken up with my gf because i don’t want to lose her but its upsetting I am isolated from people who love me for who I am and limited to people who do not support me for who i am. its hurts that i can not spend time with people who love me idk what to do. i dont feel loved rather i feel insecure to be in this family. they threatened to forced our schools and her parents to break us apart and I am at loss at what to do

    • Sin Genevie, We want you to know you are not alone in what you are going through. We are here to listen and help you through this challenging time in your life. Please chat with one of our HopeCoaches at http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp anytime day or night.

  • Grace

    I’m 17, he’s 16.. yeah were young but lemme tell you we had one heck of a time. He was that perfect guy that everyone wants. Playful but not disrespectful. He was kind honest and trust worthy. My past relationship’s I had every guy cheat on me so I was worried with him. But he always proved be true. Our relationship became extremely complicated due to both of our poor choices of smoking weed. My parents found out and I was not allowed to see him,text, or any contact for a while. I found a way around that so we were still able to talk. But he became depressed because he hated that he couldn’t see me. And that we had to go about our relationship like this.. so he ended it and blocked me on every way possible. I couldn’t contact him. I will be 18 soon in about 6 months so I hope he will come around.. I’ve been talking to his sister aND she belIves that he will come around.. so I hope she is right. But I know if he moves on then I will be devestated. We were so in love and I know he still loves me.. but I guess if it’s ment to be then fate will find its way. It was just the right love but wrong timing. (Sorry for my long rant, I had to get it out)

  • John Bell

    My last girlfriend doesnt talk to me anymore becuase her parents don’t approve of me since we’re roughly about 5 years apart in age, we live in the same town but never met up becuase she was 17 at the time, she’s 19 now and still won’t talk to me.

  • Veronica C Valentin

    I’ve been dating a guy for bout 1 month and everything has been great between us. We had a bad arguments and I told my mom bout it saying it was over but me and my guy made amends and worked it out. I told her bout it and she flipped the script on me and I just was upset because I believe in giving people 2nd opportunity no matter what has happened.whether it is a right or wrong decision I want her to understand it is my decision. I’m 35 yrs old btw and he is 23. IDC bout the age gap because we understand each other anday have so much in common and he makes me happy right now. She doesnt want to see him at all which does not make me happy. This is not the 1st time she gets this way with someone she does not like but you can not help who you like or fall for. I just wish she could understand.

  • Ally fallen angel

    Hey I recently found out that my boyfriends mother doesn’t like me out of the blue. She’s invited me to family events and drove us around to our date, she was the nicest lady I’ve ever met and now she dislikes me. I broke up with my boyfriend out of anger because she controls him and doesn’t let him speak. Is that right? I don’t even get why she doesn’t like me…

  • Karrella Jones

    Parents tend to get like that, but then we should asked ourselves how does this person treats me. Does this person shows respect to me and others do I feel at peace when I am with this person, does this person really loves me,do I really love him or her. These are some of the questions you would have to asked yourself. Parents cant make up your minds for you(please if you are underage your parents is still responsible to protect you) you have to be smart in making your own decision.
    I made My own and it turns out OK for me. Like I said just be smart and go with your gut feeling.

  • Vince

    This is solid advice but it doesn’t work for everyone. My girlfriend’s parents absolutely hate me and forced us to “break up” (or rather be less obvious). I am a straight A student who has never gotten into trouble. I have absolutely no intention of harming their daughter, in fact I’m seriously falling for her. Had they bothered to have a conversation with me, they would know this. However, they cannot look past the fact that I have XX chromosomes. That is completely on them.

  • Dh

    I can also relate to this topic because my parents (especially my mom) are the exact same way. I met this guy 4 years ago. We met in 8th grade of middle school. And ever since then, we’ve been dating. My mom was okay with him at first because she met him and after when she found out he had like “no money ” which makes no sense because I’m not rich either (were both in the
    same social class) , she has restricted me from talking to him . But of course I still do, we both are in love (YES, you might say we’re crazy young teens ) but It’s real. I moved away 2 years ago and I’ve not seen him ever since then , but he is willing to wait. It’s not fair , I just don’t understand why money is so important to her. Like what about my happiness? She is really strict and I’m scared , I don’t know how to make her understand.

  • Anon

    The love of my life is the best a person gets personality wise and treats me so well. He is one year younger than me and I don’t see a problem with that at all but my parents being the older generation think that the man must be older than the woman in a couple for some irrational reason. Their standards are far too high. They demand perfection. And they believe I shouldn’t be dating at least until in in my mid twenties. The way I see it is if I’ve found someone special and I feel ready for a relationship, then I’m ready for one! Age isn’t necessarily going to define a person’s readiness for something, it’s all to do with one’s mentality. But my parents are stubborn. In the end, they’re letting me do what I want, but I’m not going to have their approval :/

  • Betty

    Hi! So I started dating a guy back in the summer and then we both moved away for college in different states but decided to continue the relationship and it’s been almost 10 months now. We have had our ups and downs but the realationship became toxic at one point. I wouldn’t put up with it so we have been off and on. We both really love each other and aren’t letting the relationship get bad for each other but my parents don’t approve anymore. I really want to be with him as he treats me like a princess but I don’t know what to say to my parents.

  • Elizabeth

    So I have been dating a guy since the summer and only 3 months in person because we go to colleges in different states. I am a freshman and he is a junior. We see each other once a month and when we do I love every minute with him. Separated he has come across as manipulative and controlling causing us to be off and on. I want to be with him and we have worked everything out for real this time. My parents don’t approve anymore and say that I am just setteling and his parents are skeptical but more accepting. He comes from a tough background and did not treat me right emotionally but is now. I want to be with him and prove to my parents that he has changed but I don’t know how to or know if I honestly should stay in the relationship bc my parents are against it.

  • Makayla

    Hey guys. I’m in a slightly different situation. I’m a teen coming into a new polyamorous relationship, and my parents love one but don’t even KNOW the other and don’t approve from how I’ve described him. What can I do to make it easier to tell them? I don’t want to have to give him up because they don’t like him. Somebody please help me, anyone!

  • Stephanie

    I am 19 years old… and I’m dating someone that has a child. I kept it from my parents for a while.. but I finally told them, & of course they just started going off on me. But then they just started ignoring me. I am so lost, because I am so in love with him, he means so much to me and they don’t know him like I do….. so now because I do like under their roof, I probably won’t be able to see him, or anything. I feel very down.

  • Asneel Kumar

    hi, i am 28 and my gf is 27, i am having a situation where my parents don’t approve of my gf, the reason being that m single and my gf was married, is divorced now and has two kids, one boy 4yrs and daughter 7years, i have accepted them both as my kids and they r happy with me coz i give them the love they need from a father, my gf’s parents know about us, and we informed them that we want to get married they have accepted me as their son in law, but when i told my parents they just simply disapproved, said i should find a single girl, they wont accept her and the kids, its their final decision, i asked my parents to give us a chance to prove our love and we both will care for them and we all will be happy together but my parents don’t want to hear what ever i have to say….i know my gf, she has a good heart, supports me always, is always by my side in bad times, we love and understand each other so well, my parents told me if u want her, she can’t stay at our house, i am thinking what i should do? i don’t want to lose a good girl like her and the kids who love me lots and i love them lots too…need advice