Maybe you've made some bad choices, and the gossipers are now using them against you. Our reputation can be harmed when we make poor choices at work or school, or when we hurt others in our relationships.
Perhaps you struggle with the same relationship problems over and over, or you keep falling back into harmful or addictive behaviors. All that has an impact on your reputation.
Or maybe someone is making up lies about you, simply trying to hurt you.
Gossiping is such a popular way for people to spend their time, and tragically, the damage it can do spreads like a virus, until someone's reputation is seriously damaged.
You may feel like there's no chance to counteract the horrible things they are saying. It's going to take some time, but trust me, the good news is, you can rebuild your reputation and you can recover.
Here are some ideas on how to do it:
Ignore the Negative
It is very important to stop listening to all the bad things being said about you it will only bring you down and leave you feeling discouraged and hopeless.
That was Sarah's experience: I was driving myself crazy, listening or even trying to imagine what other people were saying about me. I had to stop. Then I could finally move on.
Plan out your Future Self
Figure out what kind of person you want to be, and then work on showing that to other people. You're well aware of how you don't want people to view you. How do you want them to view you? And why?
Find a Friend you can Confide in
Find one other person you can talk to who will remind you of the person you want to be and believes the best about you. If you can't find anyone, be that person for yourself.
Are your friends adding to, or taking away, from your reputation?
Devon commented: Until I could find a good friend, I had to keep telling myself over and over I am not the person they say I am. I'm a good person and though I'm not perfect, I'm working on getting better.
Be Honest about your Mistakes
If the source of the gossip is rooted in truth, let people (especially the people you care about the most) know what is true, but that you want to change. Then, over time, go about proving it to them!
Time will usually heal a lot of difficult situations.
A New Group of Friends?
Figure out if you need a new group of friends. Are your friends adding value to, or taking away, from your reputation? If they are affecting your reputation in a negative way, you don't have to neglect, or start talking badly about them, but you might want to add some new people into your life people who are known to say encouraging and positive things.
Misty said: I found out from another friend that the people I was hanging out with were only hurting my reputation. I still care about them, but I need to be careful about what influence they might be having on me.
Show you care about Other People
Smile, and be nice to people you see. Take a genuine interest in what other people are doing or thinking. People always appreciate someone who seems to care. You'll find that people will be drawn to you, and less likely to talk badly about you.
Simply being nice to others gives you a chance to feel good about yourself, win new friends, and allow existing acquaintances to, eventually, reconsider their thoughts about you.
Make a little change
Sometimes changing something as simple as your hairstyle or your clothes will make a ton of difference in how people view you. Be creative, and don't be afraid to conform just a little bit to what seems to be the current looks.
Don't ever try to turn into something you are not!
Be patient
It takes time to build a good reputation. And even more time to rebuild a damaged one. In time, the truth about you will be known. A good reputation is hard to destroy. Who you are as a person speaks for itself. Besides, sometimes people go on with their own lives, and forget what was said about you.
David had this experience: I had people saying bad things about me. But after a while, people just kind of forgot about it. You just have to be patient and stay confident.
An additional tip to help you rebuild your reputation
If you're feeling like you need to rebuild your reputation, ask your close friends or family what they see to be your positive or negative traits. What do they think would be beneficial for you to adjust, in order to help improve your reputation?
No matter what you do to rebuild your reputation, don't ever try to turn into something you are not. Just remember to be true to yourself, and honest to your closest friends. As you seek to live the best life you can, you will be able to hold your head held high no matter what other people say about you.
Rebuild a bad reputation also by working on your self-esteem. It's possible to change what you and others think about you.
Don't worry...it will pass! Hang in there. Let them see that you can't be broken by the mean things they say. If you want to emerge from the situation strong, focus on assignments/tasks and deliver an amazing job. Nobody will be able to deny how hard you worked.
Thank you for reaching out for help. You are being treated unfairly and you're not alone in this struggle. It's important to talk to someone about what is going on. Call or chat with a HopeCoach 24/7 at http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp.
i'm experiencing this right now. i said somethings with people i believed to be my friends and now they are the ones spreading things about me. for over a week now i feel like i'm going crazy. i can't sleep and when i'm at work i feel like everyone is staring at me and talking about me. i don't want to kill my self but i think im going crazy.
I know it's been long and you might have passed the situation..but I too had a similiar situation in which along with all the allegations stealing was also a part...there was even a time I thought of suicideeding...but trust me dear...all this is temp...keep your head high and don't ever let them break u...the stronger u grow is the only answer to all of them...and work hard...your work will speak more than u think...(something me still working on)...
I know just how you feel...you'd think at my age I would know better...but, drugs plays a huge part in the chaos I'm going thru
this happened to me. this girl liked me (and i liked her). We were becoming friends, and i was being moral, non disrespectful, and it was just going great. Until, I messed up. (BUT NOWHERE NEAR TO BE A STALKER) and other ppl started to make rumors. It's been a year and she still has a bad view on me. I do not know how to fix the minor mistake i made. I waited patiently, restless many nights, and there is just a huge hole in my soul... something empty... I just want to love her. I want to be with her and be her friend. I'm in 8th grade about to be in high school, and maybe, just maybe, I will be able to make it. I have hope. we aren't broken yet. it is possible to fix the scars in my heart
I've been there. I even got fired once on the excuse that I'm "not a good fit" because all my coworkers hated me so much. I just couldn't understand it. I seem to annoy everyone no matter where I go just by being myself.
I'm sorry bro. I wish I had something useful to tell you, but the only thing I've learned after 30 years is just to distract myself with video games and avoid people as much as possible.
Brooke, Yes, that is how it has been for me. People just love to pile on. I keep going and growing. I have asked God to change this situation for me. Recently. Only God can do this. When He does, and He will-------it will happen suddenly! And I will have to trust that it is God!
I'm not alone!!!! Dude I'm 100% in the same shoes, it feels good im not the only one in the same crappy situation.
Someone at this moment is damaging my reputation by spreading false and nasty words about me. I feel really unwell and terribly anxious about the whole thing. I live in a very small town where most people know each other. I can feel the stare of people on me. I am devastated. I'm trying to calm down and say to myself 'I don't care what people think of me'.
But it doesn't work. I have to be strong or I could easily kill myself. But how can I do this to my children.
If I were guilty I could at least say to myself I deserved it.
How I can go through this ordeal?
Have you tried to explain to your closest friends and family that the rumour was false? Having someone believe you are innocent can help even when the rest of the people who didn't know you well have been persuaded to think badly of you.
It might be time to move. You'd be surprised. A different city might welcome you with no questions asked. Look into the background of your maligners. Is family part of the enemy group? Break off all contact with them. When you get a good opportunity, let something nasty out about your attackers. It's there, all right. People with the most to hide, are most vicious about others. Murder by mouth!